“I understand. But did you really leave it all behind?”
“You a therapist, too, Bishop? You’re starting to sound like one.”
“No, no. Sorry. It just occurred to me that sometimes when we try to stuff hurtful things out of sight and out of mind, without really coming to terms with them, they sort of come out sideways, when we least expect it.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m beginning to see that.” He picked at his potatoes. “Hell, I’ll tell you about dear old Mom, if you wanta know. She never stood up for us, me and Dan. We were named Jack and Daniel, get it? For the old man’s favorite beverage. Anyway, she’d let Dad beat us up, even when she knew we hadn’t done whatever it was he was beating us for. And she’d tell on us, things we’d done, so that he’d come after us. It was like how she pleased him.”
“I imagine she was afraid of him.”
“Oh, yeah. We all were. He was dangerous. But, man don’t you see? She sacrificed us! Even when we were little kids. We couldn’t tell her anything, ’cause she’d run to him and blab. We learned early on that she couldn’t be trusted. So that’s my sweet, sainted mother, for you. Now you know.”
“So, did you and Dan turn to each other for companionship, and to keep each other’s secrets?”
“For a while. But then he turned into as big a snitch as Mom. See, Dad always tried to turn us against each other, so we’d tattle. He’d go easier on one of us if we were the first to let him know something bad the other one had done. So I guess I shouldn’t blame Dan too much. There was a lot of pressure on both of us. But, nah we haven’t been close, for years.”
“I can see why. And now your folks are gone?”
“Yep, both of ’em. Guess I shouldn’t let ’em bug me anymore, since they aren’t even on the face of the earth, should I?”
“Well, easier said than done, I expect, when things were so . . .” He couldn’t think of a word.
“‘Dysfunctional,’” Jack supplied in a mocking tone. “That’s the current catchphrase for hell on earth. That’s what the therapists call it.” He signaled for the server again, and ordered apple pie for both of them.
“Cheese or ice cream?” he asked.
“Oh, um cheese, thanks,” the bishop said, not at all certain that his appetite was up to the challenge. It didn’t do his digestion any good to mix food with feelings such as this meeting had engendered. He kept wanting to hug the little kid Jack had been, and set him on his knee. He wished it were possible.
* * *
“What’s on the menu tonight, brethren?” the bishop joked as he entered the clerks’ office on Tuesday evening.
“You mean by way of dinner, or appointments?” asked Sam Wright with a grin. “Sister Arnaud’s bringing us over a pot of her gumbo. Then I hear Sister Winslow wants a few minutes of your time.”
The bishop winced. “I expect she’ll want to feed me a little humble pie, or a piece of crow with sour grapes on the side, but I’m not biting. I’m afraid she’s not going to be real happy with me for a while.”
“That’s all right,” said Robert Patrenko, patting his shoulder. “A bishop’s gotta do what a bishop’s gotta do.”
“Reckon that’s so. Who else is on the schedule?”
Dan McMillan showed him a list. “Looks like you have an interview with Rosalin Rivenbark, who’s turning twelve next Saturday, then LaThea, then a few minutes with Sister Reams, and finally, Brother and Sister Parsons would like a word with you.”
“Great. And what have we found out about anyone who needs food, or a place to eat on Thanksgiving?”
Brother Patrenko answered. “Nobody’s admitting to needing anything, but I wonder about a few families. Of course there’s the Rexfords, and the Mobleys, although I expect Junious and Nita will be going to their son’s place. Dolans insist they’re doing fine, even though he’s still only able to work part time. Hilda Bainbridge is invited over to eat with the Reams. I suppose Melody Padgett will be okay, now that Andrea’s home.”
“Melody and Andrea are invited to our house,” the bishop said. “But I’m wondering about Buddy Osborne. Reckon it’ll depend on which parent he’s with for this holiday. I think I’ll call him, just to be sure.”
“What about Jack Padgett?” asked Sam. “Reckon he’s likely to be the loneliest of anybody, this holiday season.”
“Don’t worry about Jack,” the bishop replied. “I happen to know that the Smedleys have invited him over and they’re far enough south that he won’t violate the court order by going there. Brother Smedley, you know, was Jack’s home teacher.”
“Is Jack attending church anywhere?” asked Robert.
“I know he’s been to the Anniston Ward a couple of times.”
“How’s he doing, anyway?”
“You know,” the bishop said thoughtfully, “I believe I can see the beginnings of a change in Jack just a little softening up. But he has a long way to go a lot to overcome.”
* * *
The interview with Rosalin Rivenbark was first, so that she could get to her Beehive activity. She was a pretty little girl with brunette coloring and hazel eyes that were reminiscent of her big brother’s, and a sweetness of spirit that further endeared the Rivenbark family to the bishop. He wanted to get to know them better. He congratulated Rosalin on completing her requirements for graduation from Primary and asked her to recite some of the Articles of Faith. As he suspected she would, she quoted them flawlessly. He also encouraged her to pay particular attention to the Young Women values and her Personal Progress program before sending her off to her first Mutual meeting.
Shortly after she left, LaThea Winslow breezed in through the open door.
“Evening, Bishop. Are you ready to see me?” she asked, standing behind one of his guest chairs and gripping its back.
A good question, he thought. “Of course, Sister Winslow, how are you?” he asked cordially.
“I’m well, thank you, and I have two items to run by you,” she said. He thought her voice was a little cool, like the brisk autumn winds outside. “First of all, the plans are firmed up for our Family Festival of Booths on the thirtieth. Flyers have gone out to families suggesting what kinds of materials they might use to build their booths in the cultural hall. Have you received yours? You should have.”
“Um probably Trish has. I haven’t seen it, yet.”
“Well, everything seems to be shaping up on schedule. For the dinner, we’re having apricot chicken, apple-stuffed acorn squash, broccoli salad with seeds and raisins, and for dessert, carrot-zucchini cake or candied apples for the children, which is a traditional treat for this festival. The idea is to use a lot of harvest foods. Brother Warshaw is going to talk about the meaning of the festival, and the children will play traditional games.”
“LaThea, bless your heart, you go to so much trouble for these occasions ”
“It’s my calling, and I enjoy it. We should have held this one earlier in the fall, for it to be more authentic, but of course there was Halloween last month and the special nine-eleven project the month before. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that things are coming along.”
“Thanks. It’s great to know that I can depend on you.”
“Of course you can. Now, Bishop, if only I could depend on you not to throw up roadblocks in front of my son, who needs to be out serving the Lord on his mission! I thought I had made it clear that we wanted VerDan to go out as quickly as possible, while he has the Spirit of missionary work. I’m afraid if he waits, he’ll lose that burning desire. Don’t you see? And yet, he tells me you think he needs more time to prepare.”
The bishop folded his hands on top of the desk. “Dear Sister, please sit down.”
LaThea drew in her breath sharply, but she sat.
“I would like nothing better than to be able to expedite VerDan’s mission call, but the Spirit won’t allow that to happen,” he said carefully.
“What can you possibly mean?”
“I don’t mean to be unkind, but
the fact is, VerDan isn’t ready, and we wouldn’t be doing him any favor by sending him out into the mission field with great haste. He needs to have a stronger testimony of the Lord and His gospel and the Book of Mormon than he presently has. He could really use a lot more knowledge of all the scriptures, and I’m not totally convinced that he’s ready to put the world behind him for two years and go out and serve with commitment and honor.”
“No, no, Bishop! You don’t understand VerDan. He’s just shy about speaking his deepest feelings in front of others. He’s not a bad boy, and I’m certain he has a testimony! All my children do.”
“I’m not saying that VerDan’s a bad person. Certainly he’s a personable young man, and he has, I’m sure, many fine qualities. It may be that he truly does have the foundation of a testimony. Obviously your other children served with distinction, and I hope that, with adequate preparation, VerDan will do the same. I had a good visit with him, and he knows exactly what he needs to do. Now, it’s up to him.”
“But, Bishop, you know how intensely they study the scriptures in the MTC, and he could be brushing up while he’s waiting for his call. He’s bright, and he could catch up! No. Wait I know what it is. It was that talk he gave, wasn’t it? I told him ”
“No, ma’am, it wasn’t his talk. It isn’t anything he’s said, in particular. It’s more what the Spirit has said, and it constrains me from recommending VerDan for a mission until I see some real changes, and the Spirit approves it.”
Her face crumpled, and he was afraid she’d begin to cry. “Isn’t it possible isn’t it ever possible that what you think is the Spirit is really something else? Couldn’t you be wrong?”
“You know, I’m sure I’m often wrong. And it’s true there are times when I feel a prompting and wonder if it came from the Holy Ghost or just from somewhere inside me. But not this time. This was sufficiently strong that I know, as things stand, it would be displeasing to the Lord and not in VerDan’s best interest to send him on a mission. I’m awfully sorry I’d like to accommodate you folks but I can’t do it.”
LaThea stared at her hands, twisting her diamond around on her finger, trying to regain control of her face and feelings. “Harville told me I ought not to beg, but I just had to try,” she said in a small voice.
“I understand your desire to see your son serve the Lord,” he replied gently.
“If he doesn’t go now, I’m afraid he won’t go, at all.”
“Why is that?”
“Because because there’s a young woman who’s after him, and she’s the type who’ll stop at nothing to get him. This is a window of opportunity for him to escape her, but sooner or later she’ll find out he’s here, and then I’m afraid it’ll be too late. She’ll persuade him to marry her.”
“Well how does VerDan feel about her? He told me he didn’t have a special girlfriend.”
“He doesn’t! There’s nothing special about her, and she’s the one who insists they’re going together. VerDan’s just too sweet and kind for his own good. He doesn’t know how to say no to her.”
“So that’s why he dropped out of school so suddenly and came home? Not to serve a mission, but to get away from a pesky girl?”
LaThea’s voice grew small again. “I was the one who suggested a mission, and he agreed, right away. He could see it was the only thing to do.”
“What do you know about his relationship with this girl? Have they been intimate?”
“Certainly not! My children would never . . .”
The bishop shook his head. “Now, we’re not talking about your children, in the plural. And I’m in no way implying that your teachings on morality have been less that excellent. I’m just asking what you know about VerDan and this particular young woman.”
LaThea shook her bent head. “I honestly don’t know. VerDan says not, but I have to wonder, because of the way he’s talked about her in the past. And she’s been downright shameless in her chasing of him. It’s been going on for a year or more.”
“So you wanted to send him quickly away on a mission, so that he could escape her uh overtures, even though you weren’t entirely sure he was worthy?”
LaThea broke down into sobs, her words gushing out along with the tears. “I’m so sorry, Bishop! I was just trying to protect my boy. Harville told me not to push things, but I just felt I had to.”
“I understand your position, Sister Winslow. And I hope now you understand mine.”
“I do,” she said humbly. “I know you’re right. I’ve made a fool of myself, haven’t I? I’m so sorry. And I’m so embarrassed. Nothing like this has ever happened in my family.”
He pushed a box of tissues across the desk to her. “There’s no need for you to be embarrassed, LaThea. This conversation will stay just between us. No one else needs to know about it.”
She looked up from behind her tissue. “Oh, Bishop are you sure? No one?”
“No one at all,” he assured her. “I’ll need to talk further with VerDan, but no one else will need to know about that, either. This is a confidential matter between VerDan, me, and the Lord.”
She nodded, and a fresh flood of tears began to fall. He felt these were cleansing tears, rather than those of rage or frustration.
* * *
He was drained by the interview with LaThea, and welcomed Sister Ida Lou Reams in with pleasure, knowing that this meeting, at least, would be a happy one.
“Bishop, reckon you already know what I’m gonna say,” she began, her kind face a study in joy mixed with something else he couldn’t quite define.
“Barker had something to say to you, I believe?” he said, returning her smile. “Something you’ve been hoping to hear, for a long time?”
“Oh, I’ll say! He carried me down to Birmingham, to the temple grounds, and he parked and said, ‘Now, Ida Lou, I brung you here to tell you that the next time you come down here, you can go in. I’ve made up my mind not to hold you back no longer.’ Bishop, I tell you, I just sat and bawled like a baby! But then I up and says, ‘No, Barker, I don’t want to go in without you. The temple’s a place for families to get sealed for eternity, and what would I do in there, without you?’ I purely couldn’t believe I heard myself asayin’ that, but I did.”
“Really! What’d Barker say to that?”
“Well, he got all solemn, and stared out the car window ’thout saying nothing for the longest time, and finally he says, ‘Ida Lou, you know it ain’t likely I’d ever qualify to go in there, and you know why. And you know it ain’t ’cause I don’t care for you and the family. Now I want you to go in there and do whatever there is that you can do, ’thout me, and get you a head start. You deserve it, and it’s my gift to you.’ Well, then I couldn’t hardly do nothin’ but agree, could I? So I said I would. Will you and your sweet wife go with me, Bishop, my first time?”
“Wild horses couldn’t keep us away,” he told her. “And I’m certain I speak for Trish as well.”
“And I thought I’d ask the other Relief Society ladies who work with me, and the ladies I take down there ever’ month Hildy, and Nita, and Sister Strickland oh, and I’m gonna call my boy Billy’s wife, and see if there’s a chance they can drive up. I’ll let you know when, all right? I’m just so thrilled I feel like a bride, or somethin’! I only wisht I was, with my Barker agoin’, too.”
The bishop nodded. “Just let Barker see how much joy it brings you, and how appreciative you are to him. Remember, we believe in miracles!”
“Well, I know I do! Speaking of such, you might be surprised to hear who’s taking Thanksgiving dinner with us.”
“Who’s that?”
“Sister Hazel Buzbee.”
“No way! She told me she never goes anywhere, not even to the doctor.”
“Well, I don’t know why it was, but I felt to invite her, and I think she was surprised as anybody when she said she would. It’s maybe because I told her Hildy was comin’, an’ she wants to see her, again. I’m going to get ever’thi
ng done as early as possible, then late Thursday mornin’, me and Barker’ll drive up and fetch her down.”
“That is truly amazing, Ida Lou. Thank you for being such a friend to her! And I heard about the dress you made her, too.”
“Oh, that weren’t nothin’. I was glad to.”
* * *
Another miracle came in, carried in the arms of her father, Joe Parsons, who was grinning from ear to ear. Little Alyssa Parsons, with her dark, curly hair and rosy cheeks, was a picture to behold. Her mother, Lori, sat down in one of the chairs, while Joe stood beside her, bouncing the baby in his arms. Lori seemed about to bubble over with something.
“It’s great to see you folks, and your beautiful little girl,” the bishop said. “What can I do for you, this evening?”
“Bishop, do you believe in miracles?” asked Lori.
“I surely do in fact, I was just saying so not ten minutes ago! Have you got one to tell me about?”
Lori’s eyes brimmed. It was obviously a night for women to cry in his office but for good reason, so far and this looked to be for a good reason, as well. “You know that Alyssa was born profoundly deaf. You know that we’ve been planning on getting her a cochlear implant, right?”
“Right,” he agreed. “Have you been approved for one, already?”
Lori glanced up at Joe. “We don’t think we’re going to need one,” she said. “The last couple of weeks, Alyssa’s been unusually fussy, and I just blamed it on teething, but the other day, our dog barked suddenly, right behind her, and she jumped, and started to cry! At first, I didn’t take it in then gradually, I realized that she had heard the dog! His bark had startled her. She’d never shown any sign, before, of hearing him barking or anything else. I told Joe, and he said that it was likely a coincidence, or that maybe she felt the vibrations of the bark, or something. So we did an experiment. We went outside, and I stood with Alyssa by the front of the car, and Joe honked the horn. She jumped again, and started to cry, just like before!”
Mercies and Miracles Page 24