“I’m not the crazy one,” I mumbled, unlocking my cell phone. “Mitchell is the one who lost his whole mind!”
I unlocked my phone to call Nichelle and tell her about the bullshit that had just taken place, but it vibrated in my hand.
Brian: Just wanted to see if you were busy. I’m not feeling too well, so I’m heading to bed a little early tonight.
Exhaling, I released the anger and frustration of the ruined date. I climbed into my car, turning the key in the ignition and then dialed Brian’s number.
“The beautiful Desiree Johnson,” Brian answered.
He sounded a little drunk which was disappointing because I wanted to sound off about my date from hell. But I wasn’t even sure if I could tell Brian that I was on a date with another. Brian and I had talked about so much, but I didn’t get the impression that I could talk to him about my night.
And that made me feel worse.
“The one and only,” I replied, trying to sound upbeat. “How are you? Why aren’t you feeling well?”
I backed out of my parking space and made my way quickly and easily out of the amphitheater parking lot. Because the concert was still going on, there wasn’t much congestion with traffic.
“I’m tired. It was a long day. I was helping a friend move today, and now I’m just exhausted.”
“Oh, okay.” The corner of my lips turned up. “That’s so nice of you to help someone move.”
“Well, it’s kind of your fault. I woke up and texted with you for a little bit, and I was feeling good. Took a shower, and since I was thinking about you, I didn’t remember Clarissa was moving. When she called, I picked up and then it was too late. I couldn’t say no. So, I blame you.”
Who’s Clarissa?
I forced a giggle. “What? You’re blaming me?” I heard what sounded like glass shattering in the background. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, sorry. Clarissa paid me for my services with a twelve pack of my favorite beer so I’m throwing away the bottles.” He paused for a second. “I really like you. Did I mention that?”
Nope. Just like you never mentioned Clarissa. I shook off the thought because it was ridiculous that I would feel some type of way seeing as how I was leaving from a date with one man and talking to a few others. This bad date is making me crazy.
“Not today, you haven’t.”
“Well, I really like you, Desiree Johnson. And not just because your ass is incredible. I like you, and I should tell you that every day.”
I laughed. “I’m okay with that.”
“I forgot to tell you during my lunchtime…” His voice trailed off as if he remembered that he didn’t text me as often as he usually did throughout the day.
“Yeah, I didn’t get my lunchtime message from you recapping your morning today. I’ve been lost without that update,” I joked, feeling the tension in my body slowly dissipate the further I drove.
Brian chuckled. “Are you telling me that I haven’t been winning your heart with my morning recaps?”
I giggled. “I love them! I didn’t know how much I was going to miss them until I didn’t get one today! Not knowing how the first part of your day has gone awry has kept me up all night.”
He laughed louder. “It’s not even nine o’clock so I know you’re not even in bed, let alone sleeping.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah… don’t try to make this about me. We’re talking about how you blamed me for you getting roped into helping your friend and then you didn’t give me my daily dose of your morning shenanigans.”
I pulled into the parking deck for my building and made my way inside as we playfully bickered about who was to blame.
“I’m going to get tested in the morning,” Brian mentioned just as I reached my front door. His voice was lower, and there was a slight echo as if he were in the bathroom.
“Oh, good.” I entered my apartment and flipped on the lights. I felt the grin covering my face. “A morning appointment, huh?”
The fact that he wanted me so bad that he scheduled an appointment so fast was a turn on, I had to admit. But something was nagging at me.
“And I’ll have my results by this weekend…”
“And if I’m not mistaken, we have a date scheduled this weekend?” I flirted as I made my way to the bedroom.
“That we do.” His voice was a raspy growl. “I’m going to be thinking of the most epic date. You won’t know what hit you.”
Amused, I shook my head. “I can’t wait to hear what you come up with. Are you feeling any better?”
“Thinking about you always makes me feel better, but I’m going to have to lay it on down. I’ll text you when I leave the doctor.”
We said our goodbyes and I quickly stripped out of my sundress. When the water was approaching scorching temperatures, I stepped into the shower. As soon as the stream of water hit my body, I let out a sigh.
And then another.
And then the tears started.
I was exhausted—leaving me mentally, physically, and sexually frustrated.
Dating was so much work. I had three dates, three days in a row and had countless conversations. Most of the conversations were messages through the SOS app that went nowhere. I didn’t want a bunch of random men having my phone number, so I only gave my number to men that I really felt a potential connection with. I’d given my number to maybe eight men and of the eight, I’d had five dates scheduled—six if I counted Kwami who canceled on our coffee date and would initiate text conversation only to ignore me and respond days later.
When did dating become so complicated?
Between the conversations on SOS and the conversations on the phone, I was tired of being asked the same lame ass questions. I was tired of making small talk instead of talking about something real. I was tired and I was bored and I wasn’t mentally stimulated. The mental frustration was due to most of the messages I received being men who were trying to exert the least amount of effort, but looking for maximum effort in return.
I was physically tired from a weekend of little sleep and lots of running around. Working long hours and then having three dates during the evening hours and busy daytime schedules negatively impacted my sleep schedule which diminished my physical strength. My energy felt sapped, but the sexual frustration was probably the need that was most effected by my dating woes.
I was with Troy for so long that I forgot that I didn’t even remember what it was like to be with another man. And because I couldn’t bring myself to have sex with a random stranger, I was so hot and bothered, soaping my body felt like a sexual act. I was too emotional and hypervigilant about sexual health to be a slut, but I was getting to the point that I was too horny to make good decisions. I was dying a slow sexual death.
Goodnight, sex drive!
Goodnight, libido!
Goodnight, moon!
I tried to think about the fact that Brian was getting tested and we had a date scheduled for the weekend. With a clean bill of health and our romantic chemistry on fire, it made sense that Brian would be the object of my desire. I rinsed the soap off of my body and then stood under the stream. I slid my hand over my belly and let my fingers dance across my mound. As I touched myself, I tried to garner up enthusiasm, but I couldn’t get into it. Something was holding me back.
If you’re going to have a one night stand, it should be with the firefighter.
My fingers fell from my body and my eyes flew open as I recalled the words of my best friends. Turning the water off, I started an argument with them in my head over that idea.
But if I have sex with him, it would just be sex. He’s all but said he isn’t looking for anything else. Am I ready to do the one night stand thing for the first time in my life?
And the little inkling, I’d known, but denied was there again.
I’m into Charles a little bit. So, for him, yeah.
He covered all the benchmarks I was looking for—he was good looking, he was gainfully employed, he was free of a
ny sexually transmitted diseases, he wasn’t afraid to speak his mind and tell me his truth, he was easy to talk to and banter with, and he had this raw sex appeal that spoke to me. My body tingled at the thought of Charles.
I hated to admit that I was amused by our conversations and his honest, but direct style of communication. Somewhere in the last couple of weeks, he grew on me and I officially liked him. My conversations with Charles would usually begin and end sexually, but there were so many valuable conversations we’d have in between. Learning about him always came with some applicable advice or spiraled into a story. Our phone conversations were always story driven or advice based. The sexual stuff stayed via text for some reason—but I preferred it that way.
And it has nothing to do with the fact that I reread our sexting conversations when I play with myself. Nope…not at all. I brushed the thought from my head as I stepped out of the shower. Why did I start thinking about him to begin with?
I wrapped my towel around my body as small beads of water dripped onto my floor as I padded over to my phone.
Great, I muttered sarcastically as I tossed my phone back onto the bed after viewing the alert for ten new messages and two new matches from SOS and four emails from work.
I let out a sigh.
After finishing up my bedtime routine, I climbed into bed in just a thin t-shirt and panties. Reaching over to sync up my playlist with my speakers, I put on a sexy mix and got comfortable in the middle of my bed. Before I even realized what I was doing, I’d picked up my phone again.
Desiree: What are you doing?
Charles: Paperwork
Desiree: I forgot you were at work tonight.
Charles: I didn’t forget that you had a “date” tonight. What happened? You realized what I said was true, didn’t you?
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face.
Desiree: Whatever. I won’t keep you from your paperwork. I just wanted to say hi. And don’t put date in quotes. It’s rude.
Charles: You’re rude.
I laughed out loud.
Desiree: If either of us is the rude one, it’s you. Let’s keep it real!
Charles: Yes, let’s keep it real. What do you wear to bed?
I hesitated. Ordinarily, when he’d ask a provocative question, I’d make a joke out of it. But there was an ache between my thighs that I couldn’t ignore.
I’ll just play along and see what happens.
Desiree: Depends on the day. Right now, I have on a t-shirt and panties.
Charles: Take it off.
The words hit me directly where I thought they would. I quickly slipped out of my t-shirt and panties, tossing them to the end of the bed.
Desiree: You don’t tell me what to do.
Charles: Not usually, but I can tell you need me to take care of you tonight. Now spread your legs wide for me and tell me what you usually do when you need relief.
I did as I was told.
Desiree: I usually just rub my clit until I get off, and then I’m satiated for the time being.
Charles: I bet you get extra wet.
Desiree: I do… I am.
Charles: I can imagine the way you’d look spread eagle on your bed, playing with yourself as I watch. My dick is hard now thinking about it.
Desiree: You should pull him out and stroke him.
Charles: My hand is wrapped around him right now thinking about you, baby.
There was a deep pull inside me. The idea of him stroking his cock while thinking about me did something to me. I closed my eyes and slipped my finger inside me and then spread it around my clit a little faster.
Desiree: While you’re stroking your cock, you should think about me sitting this pretty pussy on your face.
Charles: Yes baby… let me taste you.
Desiree: Will you suck on my clit?
Charles: I will suck on your clit until you are dripping down my chin. And then I want you to lick my balls while I stroke my dick slowly.
Desiree: If I just came all over your face, I will lick, suck, and massage your balls if you want me to.
Charles: You’re going to look up at me with those big, beautiful eyes as you do it.
Desiree: Yes. Will you let me suck the head of your cock while you stroke it, please?
Charles: Shit, Desiree… I want more than just your mouth. I want to bend you over and slide this hard dick all the way inside you right now.
Desiree: You want to bend me over your desk, over all of your paperwork, and fill me with your cock? Because that’s what I want, too… I want you to grab my hips and fuck me hard, making each stroke count.
Charles: I want to smack your ass as I’m giving you long, full, strokes. I want to go slow and make sure you feel every inch of me. And then I want to fuck you hard and make you scream my name. You will cum multiple times on this dick.
Oh, my God, I thought as my heart hammered in my chest. I was winded and my skin tingled with desire. I felt every word he typed course through my veins and center deep in the pit of my belly, inching closer to the epicenter of my pleasure. My fingers increased their speed.
Desiree: I want you to cum in my pussy.
Charles: I’m going to cum deep inside your wet pussy. Fuck…
As I read the word, I could hear him saying it. I could visualize him stroking his cock and I felt myself getting close. I needed to push him over the edge in order to really be satisfied. I couldn’t stop the steady rhythm I had going against my clit so I hit the voice recorder button.
“Please, give it to me. Please, don’t stop. Please, don’t stop. I need you to fill me up. Please. Please. Ple—oh God…”
I dropped the phone as my body tensed up, jerking erratically as I brought myself to orgasm. The muscles in my stomach and legs were still shaking and my clit was sensitive. I just had to lie still for a moment as I collected my breath and gathered my thoughts.
When my phone dinged a couple of minutes later, I slowly grabbed it, unsure of what the response was going to be.
Charles: That was the sexiest shit I have ever heard in my life. The way you just made me cum listening to you get off has earned you anything you want from me, gorgeous.
A put the phone to my chest as a small giggle followed the smile that played at my lips. Pushing myself into a sitting position, the phone fell to the bed. I grabbed my t-shirt, but left my panties as I headed to the bathroom. I cleaned myself up and as I was heading back to the bed, my phone started ringing.
I scooped up the phone quickly and smiled at the name blazoned across the screen.
“I’m a little surprised to hear from you,” I answered the phone with a huge smile.
“Desiree,” Charles started, and then he paused. “First and foremost, damn.”
I laughed.
“I had to leave the office so it didn’t seem suspicious, so we’ll come back to that when I have more time and more privacy.”
“Got it,” I giggled, slipping my panties back on and climbing under the covers.
“But I wanted to know—hey, I’m just going to step outside for a minute. I’ll be right here—sorry about that.” A door closed and there was the sound of a dog barking as the background noise changed. “What’s wrong?”
I frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?” I asked slowly. “I’m really good. Really, really good actually.”
“What happened on your date?”
I was quiet for a minute as I stared suspiciously at speakers in front of me. A song I didn’t care for floated around my room as I contemplated the question.
“What do you mean?” I repeated, my eyes wide.
“We dabble in some sexting, some over the top flirting, but we’ve never taken it that far. You texted me when you got home from your date, and you were clearly horny. And I’m not complaining at all… I’ve been backed up for a minute so I needed to blow that load. But I wanted to make sure you were okay. You didn’t want the man you were with so you called the man you wa
nted, I get that. But something happened on the date.”
“You’re so full of it,” I groaned playfully.
“I don’t have long so talk to me. He either turned you on and you didn’t want to give it up or you were just thinking about me the whole time and couldn’t take it anymore. What happened?”
“Or maybe I was just sexually frustrated and you knocked on a door that needed to be opened for a second.”
“If that’s all it is, that’s all it is. I just want to make sure you’re good.”
I hesitated for a second and he heard it.
“Desiree.” Charles’s tone had a warning to it, and I made a face.
“I’ll tell you, but you need to take that bass out of your voice when you say my name.”
“Desiree.” His voice was deeper and held significantly more bass.
“I can’t stand you.” I choked back a laugh.
“What happened?” There was a touch of concern and care carefully weaved into the textured depth of his question.
I sighed, relenting. “Well, to be honest, the sexting didn’t have anything to do with the date. I’m horny. I’ve been horny. I’m going to continue to be horny. And you are a very attractive man and you have a way with words that turn me on so…” I lifted my shoulders even though he couldn’t see me. “Like I told you before, it’s been awhile since I’ve had sex. But let me tell you, I haven’t had sex with someone new in eleven and a half years. I haven’t had sex period in a year and a half. And the men I meet are looking for one of two things—to lock a wife down immediately or to fuck any and everyone who is willing.”
Disasters in Dating Page 11