Disasters in Dating

by Danielle Allen

  Pulling out my phone, I checked my text messages and noticed there was no additional conversation with Brian. He didn’t ask how I was doing. He didn’t explain his absence. He didn’t update me with the status of his test results. He didn’t do anything that he’d gotten me accustomed to him doing. The last conversation we’d had, he told me how much he liked me and couldn’t wait to see me, and then he disappeared.

  That’s weird.

  I grabbed my keys and my bag before I exited the busy Mediterranean eatery. I’d been working on a great set of questions for my column, and I skipped lunch. I was on the north side of town and when I’d talked to Jayson before breakfast, he’d mentioned having the best Greek salad of his life on the northside. So, I popped into the place he’d named for a quick bite. As I walked down the sidewalk, I thought about calling Jayson to thank him for the recommendation because he was right.

  Licking my lips, I lifted my phone and scrolled down my call log. Noticing that Brian’s number hadn’t popped up in a few days shifted my thoughts from Jayson and back to Brian.

  He literally said he was going to call after he went to the doctor because he was excited about our date on Saturday. Did he get bad news? Did the doctor tell him he had something? He’s being so weird, and I haven’t heard from him in days. And that last message was so weird. That text was so short and noncommittal.

  Abandoning my plan to call Jayson, I considered texting Brian to ask what was wrong, but a call interrupted my thought process. My stomach fluttered with excitement.

  “Hello?” I answered with a grin plastered on my face.

  “Hi, Desiree. It’s Miles.”

  “Hey!” The confusion I felt regarding Brian’s recent aloofness melted away as I strolled down the street giddily.

  Where Brian faded into the background and stopped contacting me as much, Miles had stepped up his game. Miles and I had a phone conversation every single day, and each conversation was better than the one before it. He was such a passionate man—about food, about art, about music, about life. It was infectious.

  “How are you?” His voice was musical, each word sounding like it blended perfectly with the next.

  A little irritated because my coworker is a little bitch.

  I cleared my throat. “I’m well. How are you?”

  “I’m pretty good. I know we have our first date tomorrow,” Miles started, his voice smoothly rolling over each word. “But one of my artists cancelled our session because she’s sick so I’m free tonight. And I wanted to see if you’d like to get dinner, and then I could bring you to my studio.”

  After hearing him working on music in the background during our last couple of conversations, I was even more excited about watching him work in the studio. So, if I didn’t have plans, I would’ve jumped all over the opportunity.

  “Oh, that would’ve been amazing! But I actually have plans. I’m on my way to Anika’s house. Today is her birthday and her husband planned a surprise Girls’ Night In celebration with a personal chef. Sorry!”

  “Don’t be sorry, but promise me something…”

  “What’s that?”

  “Promise me you’ll sneak a copy of whatever recipe the chef is using into your bag and you’ll make it for me one night.”

  I giggled. “Done and done.”

  “I’m looking forward to taking in the art with you tomorrow.”

  “I’m looking forward to finally meeting you.”

  “Tomorrow is going to be a good time.”

  I bit my lip. “I agree.” Unlocking my car, I climbed in. “And thank you for inviting me out to the studio tonight.”

  “You don’t have to thank me for that. Just go have fun tonight and be ready to have even more fun tomorrow.”

  “I can’t wait, Miles.”

  We said our goodbyes and I smiled as I maneuvered the car out of my parking space. Humming contently, I drove the seven minutes to Anika’s neighborhood. Before turning in, I stopped at the little flower shop on the corner. A text message came through as soon as I got out of the car.

  Charles: What are you doing?

  Desiree: Picking up flowers and then heading to Anika’s. What are you doing?

  Charles: Oh, I forgot today is her birthday dinner. Have fun with that. See if you can learn something with your non-cooking ass.

  I laughed out loud as I entered the flower shop.

  Desiree: Why are you always talking shit? Stop trying to play me like I’m not a catch!

  Charles: I speak the truth. And I didn’t say anything about you not being a catch. I just know that the man lucky enough to catch you won’t catch you in the kitchen.

  I stopped in the middle of the card aisle and laughed so hard and so long that it made a couple of customers stop and stare.

  Desiree: If you keep playing with me, you’re going to catch these hands!

  Charles: Catch them where? Because I would break you in two. HA! And I mean that in every way you want to take it.

  Desiree: You always revert back to sex.

  Charles: I didn’t say anything about sex, so it’s you who is always bringing up sex. I don’t know why you just won’t admit how much you want me.

  Desiree: If only you could see how hard I’m rolling my eyes.

  Charles: Somehow, I don’t believe you. How are you though?

  As I got in line with the flowers and the card, I realized I hadn’t stopped smiling since I left the restaurant.

  Desiree: Well, I had a run in with that bitch from work. She is always lurking around saying slick shit out of her mouth.

  Charles: Your cubicle is right beside hers so this shouldn’t be a surprise. The way you describe her, I’m sure she listens to your conversations and rats you out to the boss

  Desiree: No, I was in a restaurant. She came up behind me and mentioned that she wasn’t surprised that I was eating alone while she was waiting for her boyfriend. Then she asked me where my boyfriend was!

  Charles: I have just the thing for that ass.

  Desiree: Ew. You better not!

  Charles: Hmmm… Jealous?

  I pursed my lips and was about to respond when it was my turn in line. Slipping my phone into my bag, I spoke to the cashier and paid for my purchase. I walked toward the door, going over my mental checklist.

  Okay I have the wine in the backseat, flowers, and a card. I don’t think I need—umph!

  A woman ran into me, crushing my flowers and almost knocking me over. I stumbled backward, back into the store.

  The beautiful woman, with big, bouncing, chestnut colored curls and the eyes to match, wore an expensive looking paisley print scarf with an even more expensive looking suit. Her thin lips formed a perfect O as she grabbed my arm.

  “I’m so sorry!” Her eyes went to the flowers. “And I crushed your flowers! I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m usually more together than this. I’m a lawyer, if you can believe it. I just had a few drinks because my sister is annoying as hell. I’ll get new flowers.”

  “No worries. Apology accepted.” I smiled, looking down at the flowers that with a little bit of sprucing, looked like new. “The flowers are fine. I’m fine. All is well.”

  “No, let me get you new ones. I don’t have my purse. My husband has it and he’s coming. I’m supposed to be on a double date with my little sister and her new boyfriend. Let’s just say, I’m a little tipsy because I’m not looking forward to this. We’re late. On purpose. Because I can only deal with her in spurts,” she overshared excitedly. She walked out of the flower shop and her eyes lit up. “Oh! Here he is! Honey, I need to buy this lady flowers. I ran right into her!”

  Following the woman out of the store, I smiled at her. “No, she’s fine.” I turned, following her line of sight. “My flowers are—Jayson?”

  Looking incredibly handsome, Jayson wore a suit without his tie and the top button unbuttoned. His blonde hair was styled to perfection and he looked great—scared out of his mind, but great. His green eyes widened and his square jaw
dropped.

  “Hey! You know my husband?” the beautiful woman asked throwing her arms up in the air and dancing over to Jayson.

  Her husband.

  Anger flooded my system as I stared at Jayson with my mouth agape. I thought about all the men who, like Jayson, have gorgeous, intelligent, fun-loving wives yet still seek out other options. I heard his voicemail play in my mind as I watched several different emotions play out on his face.

  “Yes. I do know your husband,” I said, staring daggers into him.

  She was tipsy, but not stupid as her smile started to drop. She looked back and forth between us.

  “What’s going on?” the wife asked, her voice still upbeat, but less chipper.

  “Come on. I don’t know this woman. Let’s go,” Jayson lied, grabbing his wife’s arm. “We have to get to the restaurant to meet your sister anyway.”

  I looked at the wife. “I went on a date with your husband.”

  “What?” the wife exclaimed, yanking her arm away.

  “What?” Jayson feigned confusion as his eyebrows crumpled and his face reddened by the second. When his wife wasn’t looking, he narrowed his eyes at me and shook his head.

  “He’s on the dating site SOS—Someone Special—and we matched. We had a date and he called me today telling me that he really liked me and wanted to see me again.”

  “She’s lying, honey,” Jayson argued. “She’s lying.”

  “He told me he was looking to settle down and start a family.” I pulled out my phone and went to my deleted voicemails. “I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you that your husband is a piece of shit.”

  As soon as I hit play on his message, Jayson’s body language changed. The worry that only played out on his face was evident in his slumped shoulders and defeated body language.

  Once the message finished, the wife pushed Jayson in the center of his chest. “Go to hell, Jayson! How could you?!”

  “Abby, I’m sorry!” Jayson apologized trying to pull her into a hug. “Let’s just go to dinner and then talk about this later. It’s not even what it looks like.”

  I backed away in the direction of my car. “You do what’s best for you, Abby, but understand this… It is exactly what it looks like.”

  I turned and walked away. Once in my car, I watched as Jayson appeared to be groveling as Abby talked on the phone. Shrugging, I pulled out my phone and called the first person who came to mind.

  “Let me tell you about this shit…” I started as soon as he picked up.

  “What happened?” Charles replied, instantly sounding invested in the story.

  “Okay, for starters, let me tell you about Jayson…” I quickly told him about my date with Jayson, his quest for another date, and the voicemail. Then, I gave him a play-by-play of how I met his wife. By the time I was done with the story, I was standing outside of Anika’s house, waiting to ring the doorbell.

  “I’m here and I’m about to go in since I’m a little late. But tell me that’s not crazy,” I concluded just as I remembered that I didn’t sign the card yet.

  “Yeah, I’m not surprised.” He made a noise. “I know this might violate bro-code, but if a man is telling you everything a woman stereotypically wants to hear, he’s running game. Most single women over thirty want to get married, so he played the odds and said he wanted that, too. He thought he might be able to fuck you easier if he said what he thought you wanted to hear. But for him to be out here telling you he wants to settle down, get married, and have kids while he’s already married is wild.”

  I shook my head in disbelief. “He has a whole wife!”

  Charles chuckled. “A whole one!”

  “Okay, I have to go. Thanks for listening.”

  “You don’t have to thank me for listening to you. And I know you’d do the same.”

  “Speaking of which, you never told me what Cap was talking about…?”

  “He was talking out of his ass. Don’t listen to Cap.”

  I knew he was keeping something from me, but I didn’t have time to figure it out. I knew I needed to get inside.

  “Mm hmm,” I breathed, with pursed lips. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Well, I’m going on a date tonight, but I’ll call you in the morning.”

  “Oh, okay.” I heard the hitch in my own voice. I cleared my throat. “Did you meet someone special on Someone Special?”

  He laughed. “Not at all. I had to take over a shift a few weeks ago and had to reschedule this date. It kind of snuck up on me.”

  “Oh, okay… I hope you have a good time.”

  “It should be OK. She seemed cool. Haven’t really talked to her much since the rescheduling which is why it snuck up on me.”

  “Oh, okay.” Shit say something more than that! “Cool.”

  Even though it didn’t seem like the date meant anything, it felt like I’d gotten kicked in my stomach. It was clear after Monday night’s date that I had a little bit of a crush on Charles. But because Charles made it clear he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend and he wanted to keep it casual, I knew I shouldn’t get attached.

  I was not prepared to feel the small wave of jealousy and hurt that washed over me.

  “Well, uh… have fun on your…date,” I awkwardly said to end the conversation. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Yeah, I’ll hit you up tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, okay. Tomorrow or whenever…you’re free.”

  We said our goodbyes, and then I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I just needed a minute to shake it off.

  It’s not like I don’t have a date tomorrow. It’s not like I didn’t get asked out on a date for tonight. And it’s not like I didn’t just tell him about a date I went on with another man. Why am I being weird?

  Before I could answer my own question, Dyani’s eco-friendly car pulled up. I waved and waited for her to come up the sidewalk before entering Anika’s house.

  The cooking session flew by and although the pasta dish we made was pretty simple, it was delicious. The dessert was the masterpiece. As I tucked the recipe for blueberry drop biscuit cobbler into my bag, I noticed I didn’t have any missed calls or text messages.

  “What are you looking at? Any updates from SOS?” Dyani asked, coming up from behind me.

  I shook my head. “No updates except for the fact that I’m deleting the app. I’m done with SOS. My goal was to date three guys and make a connection. And I have.”

  “Oh no!” Dyani wailed. “Well, the connections are good, but deleting the app and not seeing all these sexy men on display is not good.” She pouted, causing me to roll my eyes.

  “What three do you have a connection with?” Anika asked from across the room, ignoring Dyani. Her birthday tiara was adorning her head and a glass of wine was in her clutches. She looked so relaxed.

  “Well, Charles, the firefighter, has been a contender since day one,” I admitted.

  “That’s the one who doesn’t want a relationship, right?” Anika asked with a raised eyebrow.

  Ignoring her, I continued, “We hit it off from the beginning and while it started with excessive flirting, it’s turned into something genuine. We went on a date on Monday—”

  “What?!” Dyani screeched, Nichelle and Carmen moved closer to hear my response. “I thought you had friend zoned him!”

  I found it hard to not smile when I thought of my relationship with Charles. “I thought I did, too. But I agreed to go on a date with him, and it was amazing. I had no doubt we’d have a good time together, but I didn’t expect…that.”

  Nichelle’s lips turned upward into a slow smile. “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t know how to explain it honestly,” I admitted. “But there’s something between us.”

  “Have you two talked about it?” Nichelle asked.

  “No, we haven’t. And that’s the thing… I was so sure he felt it, too. But then we’ve gone back to our flirty friendship and there’s been no real discussion about the
date at all.”

  “Hmmm… so what happened on the date?” Dyani asked.

  I told them every single detail, leaving out the look of fear and horror that played out in Charles’s eyes when Cap brought up the last time he’d had a woman around.

  “That was so romantic,” Anika cooed.

  “There’s just something about him,” I revealed. “It just feels…”

  Real.

  “I don’t know…” I said instead. “But now, he’s on a date with someone else and we haven’t talked about our date at all.” I sighed. “I don’t know.”

  “Don’t you have a date tomorrow with another guy?” Carmen gave me a look. “I’m not calling you a hypocrite, I’m just saying that you are.”

  I laughed along with the other girls. Covering my face with my hands, I nodded. “I know.”

  “If you feel this way about him going on a date, it is possible that he may feel the same way about you? Just because he didn’t say anything, doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t feel some kind of way about it. It’s not like you said anything to him about your issue with his date,” Carmen pointed out.

  “I know.” I nodded, looking around at each of my best friends. “But I’m the one who is looking for something a little more significant. He isn’t. And that’s one of the first things we talked about when we matched on the site. So, I didn’t say anything because I know this is just a little crush. And I don’t want to jeopardize the friendship we’ve created.” I sighed. “I just needed to at least tell my best friends that I have a crush on Charles. Maybe saying it aloud will make it go away.”

  “Doubt it,” Nichelle and Dyani said at the same time.

  Laughing, I swatted the air with my hand. “Anyway… I’ve also connected with Miles.”

  “That’s the one you haven’t met yet, right?” Anika asked.