by M. E. Gordon
He tenderly rubbed my hips with his thumbs as he spoke. “I mean it, I’m not letting go this time. You run, I’m running after you,” he said, sitting up from the bed and swallowing me in his arms.
“So does this mean that Kane Lawson is giving up his playboy ways for little ole me?” I asked into his neck.
He sat back, his hands coming up to hold my face. “You better fucking believe it. This ride is shut down for everyone but you, baby,” he said, raising his brows and kissing my nose.
Again, that scared the shit out of me. Him giving up the way he had always lived his life. Don’t get me wrong, it was fucking hot, but I knew more than anyone that giving up a part of yourself could backfire. It was just a matter of time before it all went to shit.
But fuck if it doesn’t feel good to know he’ll be all mine until then.
***
There it was, that stupid sun. It had come up, even though I was willing it not to all night. I awoke to not only the light, but to Kane’s head, sleeping soundly on my bare chest, his arm slung over my stomach, his leg hitched over mine. I could get use to this.
I was pretty sure that, that wasn’t the morning sun. I glanced around, finding a clock on the nightstand. I was right, it was almost noon. I must have stirred too much, because Kane’s head of fuckable hair moved on my chest. His chin sat between my breasts as he looked up at me. Through sleepy eyes, he smiled up at me. “Morning, Kitty.”
“Morning,” I answered back, running my fingers through his hair.
“I don’t want to, but I have to get up and piss. Don’t go anywhere,” he said with a wicked grin.
“I’ll be here,” I said, raising my eyebrows.
The moment he was out of sight and behind the door, the bubble that we had been in since he carried me away had popped. Nate came crashing back to the forefront of my mind. Me staying here and turning into my mother and killing myself because I would become so unhappy was a close second, but mainly it was Nate.
I sat farther up in the bed, pulling my legs in closer, my head resting on my knees. I sat there, reliving every disgusting moment, every kiss with him, the way he’d touch me, and of course when he had drugged me and then slapped me.
The sting on my cheek came back. My hand clasped over my cheek, I was terrified that it would happen again when I saw him.
The door to the bathroom opened and Kane walked out. The instant his eyes found mine, he rushed over to the bed and climbed in next to me. “Talk to me. Don’t go there, don’t build it,” he begged, taking the hand at my cheek into his.
He sat with a leg on either side of me. His arms then went for my legs. Undoing my tight ball, he set them over top of his and brought me closer to him.
“He drugged me. He almost raped me last night.” Yeah, I can’t handle this.
“He didn’t, baby, and he won’t do it again, to anyone. I think we should tell B and he can talk to the chief. He’ll believe B. You can press charges. We’ll get him put away where he needs to be.”
I looked at him. My deep frown must have made my eyebrows really scrunch together, because they hurt. I wasn’t doing that. No one was going to know about last night but us.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “No one is going to know about this but me, you, and him. We are definitely not telling my dad.”
“Kitty, you have to tell him, so that fucker can get locked up. I know you heard him say he had done it before.”
I kept shaking my head, getting more upset at every word that left his mouth. “No, Kane, I’m not. You’ll be with me, and I’ll stay near Dad. I won’t give him that chance to get close to me.”
That was my plan from the beginning--out of sight and pray to God out of mind.
“Caroline.”
Oh fuck, he said my name.
“I can’t just sit back and let that fucker get away with touching you like that. He slapped you, or don’t you remember.”
“Well, you’re going to have to sit back, and thanks, but I do remember, I remember everything and I probably will for the rest of my life.” I scooted back from him, moving my legs from over his. I went to the edge of the bed, my feet barely touching the floor. I saw the white shirt, that I had on for all of fifteen minutes last night, right next to my feet. I stood from the bed and snatched up the shirt from the floor. I pulled it over my head and went in search for the boxers Kane had tried to give me.
“Caroline, come on. You can’t be serious about letting him walk.”
Pulling my hair out of the shirt, I turned back to him, hands on my hips. “I’m serious as a fucking heart attack. Drop it, Kane.”
He stood up, grabbed a pair of shorts from the floor, and put them on.
“No, I won’t drop it. You’re not going to push this away like you did your mother. Not on my fucking watch. I wasn’t there for that, but I am here for this. I will not let you put it out of your mind and pretend like it never happened. It did. It fucking sucks, but it happened. Now you have to do something about it. Nate cannot get away with this, and you and I are the only ones who can stop him.”
I threw my hands up, my eyes burned with the promise that tears were close by. “I can’t,” I said with a shaky voice.
“Yes, you can. I’ll be right by your side. I’m not leaving. We’ll do it together.”
He walked over to me, rubbing my arms. I stood before him, still shaking my head. I wasn’t strong enough to do it. I didn’t want to be labeled or looked at any differently.
“Can you imagine what people are going to say around this fucking small town, when they find out the daughter of the local bar owner is calling rape against a cop! No one’s going to believe me.” I knew Kane thought we’d have more clout with him saying he walked in on it, but he was a fucking man whore, no one was going to believe him either. They’d all take Nate’s side for sure. It was a lost cause. I just had to convince Kane not to open his fucking mouth.
We stood there arguing back and forth for the next fifteen minutes. He wasn’t budging and neither was I. The sound of my phone ringing from my pile of clothes in the bathroom made us both pause. I had put my phone in the cup of my bikini while we had been at the lake yesterday. When I stripped in the shower last night I placed it on top of the pile of clothes. So when it began ringing, I huffed away and went to grab it, leaving Kane standing there, fuming.
“Don’t answer it. We need to figure this out, now!” he said, following me into the bathroom.
I bent over, taking the phone in my hand. I didn’t recognize the number, but I’d take any excuse I could to end the conversation with him.
“Hello,” I said into the phone, turning away from Kane.
“Can I speak with Caroline James?” the friendly, female voice asked.
“This is she.”
“Miss James, this is Cynthia at J&K Marketing. I was wondering if you had a moment to speak with me?”
CHAPTER 28
Kane
What the fuck just happened?
I left her in the bathroom, talking on the phone. I stalked out, pacing the length of my room. I could hear the guys down in the kitchen, their muffled voices laughing and carrying on.
My life had changed so drastically since Caroline arrived. Mostly for the better. I mean, I could honestly say she had me by the balls, and it felt damn good. When we were good, I loved it. I loved messing with her, I loved making her laugh, and I fucking loved making her scream my name. I got it all from her. I didn’t need anyone else, and she was fulfilling every single desire I ever had.
She changed me. I didn’t care about having sex with different women. I didn’t care about competing with the guys over who had the best number, because I did. I had Kitty, and she was my ten. I kept pacing the room, my hands firmly on my hips. I racked my brain, trying to figure out a way to handle the whole Nate situation. It would be easy to do what she wanted--let her forget--but that jackass deserved to be locked up. A wave of anger washed over me. I thought back to how he was laying between
her legs, touching her, kissing her body. I reached out and punched a hole clear through the drywall.
“Shit,” I yelled, shaking my hand, which was going to fucking hurt tonight when I played. Still shaking my hand, I turned, hearing the door to the bathroom close. Kitty was leaning against it, a confused smile on her face, the obvious glimmer of a tear in her eye. What the hell now? I can’t take anymore drama.
“Who was on the phone?” I asked, gaining her attention.
She looked up at me, her smile getting wider across her face. Okay, smiling is good, right? Flicking my hand one last time, I was taken off guard as she rushed to me, locking her arms around my neck, her face buried in my shirt. I hugged her tightly, one hand on the middle of her back the other just above her ass. I couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying. Maybe I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. Women were so fucking complicated. It was then I remembered why I never got in relationships with them, but Kitty was different. As good, bad, and confusing as it was, I wasn’t going anywhere. I was strapped in, and ready for crazy town, so long as she was strapped in next to me.
“I got it!” she said into my neck.
“You got what?” I paused for a moment as my heart sank to my stomach. “Oh fuck, did you think you were pregnant? Tell me you got it. I can’t be a dad, not now, I’m not ready.”
Why isn’t she saying anything? I loved the girl, but I couldn’t be father. What if she was knocked up, I can’t go from having a sex schedule with four different women, to falling in love and having a kid in four months, I needed time to process that shit.
I yanked her hands from my neck, grabbing her shoulders to stare at her.
Her eyes were glistening which made them look like liquid.
“Kitty, are you knocked up?” I asked urgently.
“What? Knocked up? No.”
I let out an exasperated breath. “Oh, thank God.”
She stood there for a second, mentally counting maybe. I didn’t know how women keep track of that shit, all I knew was I didn’t use a condom and I assumed she was on the pill because she didn’t stop me.
“I got the job, Kane,” she said, smiling up at me.
The job? The job, in New York.
“They want me to come back to J&K. They heard I had an interview with the competition. There was some huge mix up after my internship. They were going to hire me all along, but some paperwork got messed up and they told me to leave, instead of someone else. I got my dream job, Kane! They are offering me an assistant lead position on a huge account. They’re going to pay my first year’s rent in an upscale condo, and I get a 50,000-dollar bonus on top of my 105,000 dollar salary!”
She was jumping up and down by the end of telling me. Her pony tail was bouncing all over the place, she even squealed in excitement.
“Did you say yes?” I was happy for her, truly I was, but how could I be happy when she was going to leave me?
“Of course, I said yes! I’d have to be stupid not to!” She was laughing as she said it, but once she saw my expression falter, I think it hit her, too.
“Well, congratulations, I guess.” I tried my best to smile, but fuck if I didn’t want to go over and add another hole to the wall.
“Don’t act like this, Kane. You knew I was going to be leaving. I told you from the beginning that I wasn’t staying longer than the summer.”
Taking a breath I tried to stay calm. “Shit’s changed, Kitty, you know it, and I know it. You have to call them back and tell them no.”
“You’re kidding me, right? You honestly think I’m going to give this job up? It’s what I’ve always wanted, Kane. It’s what I’ve been working toward the past two years. I gave up everything for this job, friends, a social life, everything. I can’t turn my back on it.” She sounded, again, as if she was trying to convince herself and not me.
“So you’re going to turn your back on me, the guys, and your father?” I asked challengingly.
“No--I--Kane, I told you I was leaving.”
“No, you’re not leaving. You’re running, you’re running away again. What did I tell you about that?” I asked, getting in her face.
She took a step back from me, a guilty expression on her face. She was trying really hard to act like she wasn’t thinking the same fucking thing I was. This is a big fucking mistake.
“I don’t know, Kane, but we can’t--”
I cut her off because if she said she couldn’t do this with me one more time, I was going to blow my fucking lid.
“I told you, if you run, I’m running after you. Now, do I have to go tell the guys that I’m leaving, or what?”
She shook her head and, for a split second, I thought that this conversation was over, and we could move onto how to deal with Nate Rodgers. I took her in my arms, needing her closeness more than ever. I needed to show her that I was serious, that I’d follow her anywhere, because I didn’t want to live without her, not after last night. I didn’t want to wake up another morning without her right next to me.
The room was silent, except for the muffled voices coming up through the floor boards. I took her face in my hands, my lips found hers. Soft, plush lips that I wanted to be able to kiss whenever I wanted. I pulled back, our noses almost touching.
I sighed. “I need you, Caroline.”
She smiled up at me, her eyes the color of blue liquid again. She blinked and two single tears rolled down her cheeks. I swiped the tears away with my thumbs then kissed her soft lips again.
CHAPTER 29
Caroline
Why did he have to say that? I didn’t want it to happen, but he had turned into my everything, and last night just proved that I should have listened to my heart, instead of my head, all along. My thoughts were so clouded with negativity, I never let myself see the good. I was so scared of becoming my mother and so hell bent on doing the opposite, I never let myself fully trust Kane, let him in, but last night I did, and it was amazing.
I didn’t expect to get the call that morning, to be offered my dream job. To be honest, after she told me all that they were going to offer me, I didn’t think twice. I hung up, jumped up and down a few times, and then slipped on the clothes that I had left on the floor. My ecstatic mood had deflated as I stared at them on the tile floor. As the woman from J&K was talking to me, I forgot about Nate and that whole fucked up situation. I knew that I had made the right choice in saying yes to the job. I had made the mistake of running away after my mother died. I shut out my father for too many years, years I wasn’t going to get back, but I wasn’t going to do that again. I’d call, visit, and have him visit me. I wasn’t running away, just moving on with my life.
A loud bang got my attention, bringing me back to the present. Outside the door, a man who had grown on me like a weed was waiting for me. He was going to be so mad, hell I was even pissed I’d have to leave him behind. I had finally gotten all of Kane and now I was going to have to leave. He was not going to take it well.
Every part of me that believed in fairytales and happy endings was telling me to stay, but I knew I couldn’t. I knew I was going to take the job, and they didn’t want me to come after summer. They wanted me there in two weeks. I loved what I did, as much as Kane loved being up on the stage. I would never make him choose between his music and me, but he didn’t have a problem making me choose. Sure, he might follow me, or run after me as he said, but it wouldn’t last. He’d miss the guys and performing, I’d be stuck at work all the time, and we’d never be together. Simply put, it wasn’t going to work.
So as he kissed my lips, I made a decision that was going to ruin us both. He was going to hate me, I was going to hate myself, but I was going to do it anyway.
“Kane,” I said against his lips. “Will you drop the Nate thing?”
Holding my face in his hands he smiled down at me, nodding. “I’ll drop it, if you stay.”
I was fine with that, killing two birds with one stone, I put on my best smile.
***
“Holy shit!” Reece said through a mouth full of Lucky Charms. Three other heads lifted up from their cereal bowls to look at me.
“Hey, Cuz,” JJ said, spooning another bite in his mouth, clearly not surprised that I was standing in his kitchen with Kane’s shirt and boxers on.
“Is this really happening right now?” Trent asked.
“Fucking right, it’s happening! I don’t care what you fuckers say either. Call me whatever you want. Hell, I’ll do it for you. I’ve been pussy whipped,” Kane responded, wrapping his arms around me from behind.
His fingers wandered up under my shirt for a second before I slapped them away. Turning around I punched his arm, hard.
He winced. Rubbing his newest soon to be bruise. “What the hell?”
“No groping in front of the guys or this pussy will not be whipping you.” I smiled up at him then made my way over to Reece. “Stop staring at my tits, you buffoon,” I scolded him while swatting him upside the head.
“But they’re right there--in a white shirt--and its cold,” Reece said, almost crying in agony.
I shook my head and went to Trent, plopped down on his lap, and took a drink of his coffee. I knew things had changed with Kane and me, but I still loved sitting with Trent. He always smelled really good and he was like a big bad biker teddy bear. I didn’t want things to change between any of us. I still wanted the guys to know that I loved them and this was my way, beating Kane and Reece, sitting with Trent, keeping an eye on Aiden, and hanging out with JJ.
Was I surprised when Kane had steam coming out of his ears as I sat down on Trent’s lap? Not really.
“So you’re really banging Kane?” Trent asked, his face hung low.
I cupped his cheek in my hand, so I could look at him. “I still love you, Trent,” I said, smiling at him.
“What the hell, Kitty?” Kane asked, frustrated. “You’re still telling him you love him and you can’t even say it to me. That’s wrong. And why the fuck are you still sitting on his lap?”