She hung up and looked around. The call center remained fairly quiet that morning, which meant she could start on research right away. She sat behind her computer and opened up her browser. Her inbox had several new messages.
Her heartbeat sped up when she recognized a name. Hannah had sent her something.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
I know it’s short notice, but how would you like to come to my art show this Friday? Mom thought maybe you and Parker should both be here. That way I can get all of my questions answered at once.
A thrill zipped through her. She clapped her hands. All of her patience had paid off. She did a little dance in her chair. Until she noticed the new girl, with a headset wrapped over her brunette hair, staring at her.
What a day! Beth had to talk to somebody. She had to share her good news.
But she also needed privacy. What she wouldn’t give to get promoted and have four walls and a door. She grabbed her coat and cell phone. Once she made it down the stairs to the first floor, she looked outside to make sure it hadn’t started raining again. The pavement puddles shone in the sunlight, but the rain had stopped. With a smile on her face, she pushed open the glass doors to the windy parking lot.
Standing close to the brick building, she dialed Sarah. “Hannah wants to meet me! Thank you, thank you for your good advice.”
“Slow down. Tell me everything.” In the background she could hear dishes clanking together as if Sarah were unloading the dishwasher. Kids’ voices danced in the distance. The sounds of a happy family.
“I’ve been e-mailing Hannah. Trying to keep it casual, like you suggested. Secretly, I was desperate that she’d invite me. After all, she wanted to meet Parker.” Car engines roared by on the adjacent street, so Beth plugged her free ear. “I guess the thing with Parker was a disaster.”
“What happened?”
“I’m not sure. Hannah felt disappointed that they didn’t click or something. Probably her expectations were too high since she’d been close to her adoptive father.”
“Excuse me a minute.” Sarah muffled the phone and spoke to one of her kids, telling them to take the dog for a walk. “I’m back. So you’re going to meet her.”
“Yes. The odd thing is that she’s inviting Parker, too.”
“Interesting.” She paused as if thinking. “Too bad the two of you are attached to other people. I always thought you’d make a cute couple.”
Beth felt as if the air had been knocked out of her. She squeezed the phone tightly. “You did?” Beth assumed she’d been the only one fantasizing that they’d make a good pair. The handsome gentleman and the frumpy girl in a baseball cap. The outgoing club president and the girl who volunteered for every committee but never chaired one.
“Yes. I mean all the guys lusted after Ivy, but she was exhausting, don’t you think?”
Beth laughed. “I lived with her, so I know. One time she had two dates on the same night, so she purposely picked a fight with the first guy in order to make it to the next one.”
“It’s a shame she dropped out of college and never really did anything with her life.”
“She sings.”
“True. And she’s very talented. But I guess I find contentment in being a mom, knitting hats and scarves for my kids, sharing my passion with others through my website. I just wonder how satisfied Ivy is at the end of the day.”
Beth cringed. “Being a mom isn’t the only thing that gives life meaning.”
“I’m sorry. That was so insensitive of me. Gosh, I can’t believe I said that.”
Squeezing her temple with her free hand, Beth started pacing.
Sarah continued, trying to pull her foot out of her mouth. “All I meant was that Ivy never thinks beyond herself. She has a lot going for her, but she’s still kind of . . . I don’t know . . . selfish. She wouldn’t even help sort clothes at the Salvation Army.”
Beth kept marching back and forth along the brick building. “I didn’t mean to overreact, it’s just that Drew and I are in a weird place and now Hannah wants to meet me. I’m very emotional. Will seeing her give me the answer? Will I know whether to stay with Drew and be content raising his niece or will I realize that I need my own child? If so, it looks like I’ll have to break up with Drew.”
“He doesn’t want to build a life with you?”
“He does, just his picture and my picture are completely different. I practically cornered him the other night trying to get a marriage proposal out of him. I hate myself and I hate him because he acted like it was too much.”
Sarah made a sympathetic murmur over the line. “If he can’t commit, then I understand why you’d move on. I know it’s hard, though.”
Closing her eyes for a moment, she stopped pacing. “Part of me wants him to meet my daughter, too. I mean, hopefully she’ll become a part of my life now.” She leaned her shoulder against the damp brick and let out a whoosh of air. “I thought I’d have my act together by the time I was in my thirties. I can’t believe I might have to start all over. Find a place to live, start dating. I’m too old for this!”
“Beth, you’re too old to stay with the wrong guy. You’re not too old to go find the right one, though. It’s never too late to fall in love. My grandfather was a widow for ten years and then he fell in love with a woman in his Scrabble club. They’ve been married for six months already and he’s so happy.”
“I was happy the first six months I was with Drew, too. Does being married help you overlook the little annoying habits he has? I mean, he still hasn’t painted Emma’s room and he never folds the laundry and he never compliments me on my weight loss.” Didn’t he care how hard she’d worked? She wrestled with every pound.
Sarah let out a laugh. “I could get a new haircut and my husband wouldn’t say anything. But I try to focus on the good things, like how he always remembers to change the oil in my car or air up my tires. How he asks me if I’d rather take the kids trick or treating or stay home and pass out the candy.”
Bad memories caused Beth to look heavenward and shake her head. “Drew worked through Halloween this year. The truth is, he says he feels like Emma’s his own daughter, but he lets me do most of the childcare.” She’d never considered this before. Drew wasn’t exactly playing the role of an involved father. “It’s a great thing what he’s doing for Emma, don’t get me wrong. Her mom is a scatter brain with terrible taste in men. But I’m the one who gets Emma fed and dressed every morning, I’m the one who usually takes and picks her up from daycare, and I’m the one who notices when she’s outgrown her shoes.”
“Sounds like you are a mom.”
“Awww. Thanks.”
But Beth knew it wasn’t true.
# # #
That evening Beth hung her coat on the antique coat rack as Drew looked up from the couch where he lay watching Star Trek’s “The Trouble with Tribbles.”
She walked closer to him. She couldn’t wait to tell him how much Luke liked her idea of designing vitamin bottles to look more like perfume decanters. Sometime soon she’d break the news about her flight to Texas, too. But that could be put on hold just a bit longer. “How are you feeling?”
“Not so good.”
“The daycare said Missy picked up Emma.” It felt wrong to drive home in an empty car. She missed the happy chatter from the backseat, but she knew Drew liked to be alone when he was sick.
“I asked her to. Speaking of kids, I got a strange call today.” He studied her. “Some girl said she was your daughter.”
Beth sucked in air. Her heart pounded as her mind flew into overdrive. She wasn’t fully prepared for this. But here it was.
Ready or not, it was time to come clean. She turned off the TV and took a seat on the fainting couch catty-corner to him. Gathering her courage, she took a deep breath. “Years ago. . . I. . . had a baby.”
He bolted upright, clenching a tissue in his hand. “What? Are you serious?”
&n
bsp; “Yes. I was too young to take care of her. I thought it would be best if she were raised by a couple who desperately wanted her, so I placed her for adoption.”
“Just like my sister.” His hand rubbed his stomach as if the pain demanded his attention.
Beth shook her head. “Not just like your sister. She put her first baby up for adoption, lets us raise her second and now is pregnant for the third time. I realized my mistake and never had unprotected sex again.”
He lowered his copper eyebrows. “How could you let strangers take your kid? Didn’t your parents want her?”
“I didn’t tell them. I was embarrassed and ashamed so I handled things on my own.”
“And now you’re pressuring me to get married and have a baby. When were you going to tell me you already had one? I can’t believe you’d keep something this big from me.”
“I know I should’ve told you. I just opened up to my mom a few days ago. For a long time, I blocked the whole thing from my mind.” Did she dare tell him about Parker’s lawsuit? This was her chance to see how devoted Drew was. “Lately I realize I have to face things. In fact, I hope you’ll support me because there’s more.” She wrung her hands, feeling her pulse throb in her neck. “The baby’s father is suing me.”
“What? Why would he do that?”
She drew in a breath. “I never told him about the baby either.”
“You had a baby and kept it a secret from everyone? How could you do that to the baby’s father?” His watery eyes narrowed as if he were thinking. “Who is it? Who’s the father?”
She stared at the wooden floor. “No one you know.” Funny how she’d kept her old life and new one separate. “You’ve probably heard me talk about him. Parker.”
“Isn’t he married to your friend?”
Even now, this fact caused her stomach to twist. “That’s why I didn’t tell him about the pregnancy.” She tried to explain how she’d spared Parker the tough decisions.
Drew’s expression remained disapproving. “You’re not the person I thought you were.”
She twirled a lock of her hair nervously, like she’d done when she was young. “Try to remember when you were twenty. Wasn’t it your biggest nightmare that you’d get a girl pregnant?”
“If I had a child, I’d want to know. You had no right.” He stared at the blank TV screen. “I would’ve raised Missy’s first baby, too. But I was off at MIT and she was here. She and my mom arranged the adoption without my knowledge. The way I see it, adoption should only be a last resort.”
“It was.” She’d made a mistake in trusting him. He was holier than thou, just like her father. “Everything’s changed now. I want to meet my daughter. And I’m lucky because she has agreed.” Joy lifted her spirits for a moment. “That’s probably why she called. To make arrangements.”
“And you’re being sued? Thank God I never put your name on the deed to the house.”
Fury burned inside her. “Yes. Thank God your precious house is safe! The house I’ve worked side-by-side with you for the past year to fix. Don’t you care at all about me? What I’m going through?”
Sweat beaded on his face. He lay down on the arm of the couch. “You act like you’re so much better than my sister and you’re just as messed up.”
“I’m not messed up. I was young and naive. But now I’m all grown and I know what I want. The question is, are you going to be here for me or not?” She felt bad for him, having an argument when he was clearly ill. But he was the one who started it.
He put both hands on his stomach. “Not now, Beth.”
“I know. Not now. Not ever.” She climbed the stairs to their bedroom and started packing.
She wasn’t sure where she would go, but she had to get away from Drew. She didn’t want to sleep in his house or in his bed. She didn’t have to defend herself to him. She was tired of apologizing to everyone for her youthful indiscretion and the decision she’d been forced to make.
In a moment of déjà vu, she lugged her suitcase down the creaky stairs all by herself. As she loaded her bag into her car, she realized the temperature had dropped and the day’s precipitation had morphed into ice. Thank goodness her trench coat had a wool lining.
Driving across town, she struggled to maintain a safe speed for the road conditions. Eventually she pulled up in front of Sarah’s yellow Colonial. A kid’s bike leaned up against the now bare tree in the front yard, flurries accumulating on the vinyl seat. A red wagon had been abandoned nearby as well. The d.j. on the radio warned of an impending snow storm and Beth was glad to have arrived. Practically overnight, autumn had given way to winter.
She decided to leave her luggage in the car and knock first. She should’ve called, but hadn’t planned on ending up here. Drew had been so cold. So judgmental. It wasn’t fair for him to look back and say she should’ve done things differently. Easy for him to say. Missy was lucky that he was in a position to step in and help raise Emma. But Beth had felt completely alone in her time of need. Except for Sarah.
After a deep sigh, Beth dropped the keys in her purse and pulled the collar up on her coat. She darted through the white flakes for the door. Just as her index finger pointed at the doorbell, she heard yelling and a dog barking inside.
“You spent $228 at a shoe store?” a loud male voice boomed.
“All of the kids had outgrown their winter boots from last year.”
“I don’t know how we’re going to pay the bills this month. I think you need to get a job.”
Beth froze. She’d never heard Sarah’s husband yell. Then she heard Sarah answer, “But homeschooling works great for our kids. You can’t take that away from them.”
“Maybe you can work in the evenings or weekends. I don’t know. But we can’t keep going like this.”
She turned on her heel and raced through the blowing snow back to her car. It took three tries to shove her key in the ignition. She couldn’t drive away fast enough.
Berating herself, she noticed the street glistening beneath her headlights and she slowed to a safer speed. She shouldn’t have assumed that everything was sunshine and rainbows all the time at Sarah’s house. Just because the woman never complained didn’t mean everything was perfect. It just meant she was trying to keep her household running smoothly. Hopefully they could find a solution. Unlike Beth and Drew.
Red taillights flashed in front of her and she hit the brakes.
The car fishtailed.
Gripping the wheel tight, she jerked it instinctively.
Somehow she regained control. She shook her head, her heart racing. “That was close.”
Slowing down, she headed for a hotel. This was where she should’ve gone in the first place. She’d been selfish, wanting to get sympathy from Sarah over Drew’s horrible reaction. Saying he was glad her name wasn’t on the house. Saying adoption should only be a last resort. Comparing her to his sister. Yet that’s what she’d always feared he’d do when he found out. Now she knew for sure.
By the time she parked at the closest hotel, she’d calmed down a bit. She checked in her rearview mirror to make sure her face didn’t betray her misery. Not too bad. Again, she pulled up her coat’s collar and braved the cold to find shelter. Snow had painted the parking lot white. She hoped this weather wouldn’t affect her flight.
Once she entered the office, she greeted the Asian woman behind the counter. “Can I have a room for the night?” She brushed snowflakes out of her hair as she tried to warm up.
The woman shook her head. “I’m afraid we’re all booked.”
“Oh.” Beth hadn’t expected that.
“The storm knocked out electricity on the south side of town, so a lot of people are checking into hotels.”
Beth nodded slowly. “It’s too cold not to have heat.” But this meant she might not be able to find a room. “Any suggestions where I should go?”
The woman ran her hand through her sleek black hair. “Can’t you go home?”
Without answering
, Beth shifted her weight and sighed. “Thanks.” She turned and exited.
Can’t you go home? Good question.
Twenty minutes later she sat outside of the house she’d grown up in, trying to work up her nerve. She hadn’t been inside since she announced that she was co-habitating with Drew. Her dad had said he was disappointed in her. He ‘d promised she would someday regret her decision. And she had slammed the door behind her, muttering that he was too old-fashioned. He would see.
Now he would think that he’d been right. But she couldn’t stay in her car all night and she didn’t want to crawl back to Drew either.
She stared at the red brick house owned by the church next door. The basement had been her playground on days like this as a child. Other kids built snow forts, but she preferred central heat and forts made out of sheets and couch cushions. Now she swallowed her pride and made her way through the cold to the front door. She rang the bell and prayed her mom answered.
Unfortunately, her dad opened the door. He stood an average height, with thick glasses and a receding hairline. His welcoming expression morphed into a furrowed brow. He’d probably expected a parishioner seeking guidance.
“Hi Dad. I need a place to stay just for the night.”
Her mom, dressed in a peach terry cloth robe, peered around him. “Did you lose power, too? Come in. Come in.” Her gray bob appeared to have just been trimmed and even without mascara, her lashes framed her blue eyes beautifully. “Is Drew with you?”
Beth shook her head. She stared at the Welcome mat beneath her wet feet. “I don’t want to talk about it.” A frigid wind kicked up and she stepped inside.
Her dad closed the door behind her. “That’s the problem with you, Bethany. You don’t tell us what’s going on. You don’t ask for our counsel.”
Beth’s spine stiffened. “I’m thirty-four years old, Dad. I don’t need to ask your permission any more.”
His eyes narrowed.
Her mom reached an arm around Beth’s shoulders. “It looks like a blizzard out there. Come in the kitchen and I’ll make you some hot cocoa.”
Beth’s posture softened. This was what she needed. To be taken care of.
A Weekend Getaway Page 17