“I couldn’t have what I wanted, Paige. I wanted to play hockey, but that was ripped away from me. And, when you come from a family like mine, there are...” he paused.
“Certain obligations.” We both said in unison, before lightly chuckling.
“Unfortunately, there are.” He added.
“I just can’t picture you in that office with your father.”
He had looked so out of place when we went to see his father. Maybe it was his outfit. But I still couldn’t imagine the tall, dark, mysterious man in front of me wearing a suit and tie every day for eight years. I bet he looked good though...
“Well, here, picture this: Tripp Knox, a hedge-fund manager and I, his glorified trader. My father may be lacking skill in the parenting department, but when it comes to finances, the man is one of the best in the world. And wouldn’t you know, it turns out I got more than just his last name…”
“You got his looks, too. You two favor each other. You have the same nose.” I interrupted.
“Just what I want to hear.” Trent laughed.
“Oh, come on, Trent. He may be an ass, but he’s a very handsome one.” I smiled.
“I’ll keep that one in my back pocket. Maybe use it at his retirement party. He was an ass, but at least he’s a handsome ass.” He inched closer to me on the couch. “I guess I should be grateful that I got his intuition as well. I ended up being damned good at my job, which got me promoted to Jr. Manager by the time I was 27. Made 150k a year with a bonus that was double that, and since I’m excellent with calculating risks, I took some money, invested it, and got some big returns.”
Huh... So that’s how he can afford to not work... I nodded my head slowly, shocked by the information I just received. Trent is set financially. While I... well, my place was paid after I finished university, thanks to my parents. And, I don’t have a car payment, thanks to my parents. But I do pay for all my utilities, insurance and regular expenses, so I’m... Yeah, okay, I’m in a good place financially.
“You okay over there?” Trent smirked at me.
I nodded my head a little faster. “Ummm... yeah. Just a little surprised is all. So, why’d you quit? Because you didn’t need to work anymore?”
Trent turned and leaned back against the couch. He reached over and unfolded my legs from beneath me and placed them across his lap. “No. Honestly, I had grown to love my job, but I just couldn’t work for my father anymore. He’s always been a very driven man; work has always been his number one priority. I mean, growing up, he never made it to any of my games due to “scheduling conflicts”.” Trent lifted his fingers and did air quotes. “But when my mom died... The distance between us stretched further and he just became... cold.” He shrugged.
“Just like Fort Knox.” I said quietly. I quickly squeezed my eyes closed and clamped my jaw shut. I can’t believe I just said that out loud... Damn you, J.J., and your Fort Knox references. Oh, Lord, just shoot me now. I slowly opened my eyes to see Trent’s reaction.
To my surprise, he was nodding his agreement. “Yeah, Charlie said he took all the pictures down of Mom at the house after she passed, which you probably noticed. I think it was just too unbearable for him to walk past her smiling face and know that it was all for show. Which I get, I mean, I can barely step foot in that house now, even with all the pictures gone.” He frowned momentarily, and then began to softly draw his fingers up and down my shin.
“I’m sure it wasn’t all for show, Trent.” I scooted closer to him, bending my knees. As I leaned my head toward Trent’s arm, he moved and wrapped it around me, pulling me into him.
“I guess we’ll never know.” He mumbled. “What do you want to know next?” He squeezed my arm lightly.
Obviously, he wanted to change the subject and I wasn’t quite ready to discuss Rebecca, so I skipped to my next thought. “What are the meanings behind your tattoos?”
Trent lifted his left arm a couple of inches and slightly flexed his bicep under is shirt. “Well, the one on my arm is Mom’s birthday in Roman numerals.” He lowered his arm back down and rested his hand on my ankle. “And the one on my side... My mother’s name was Margaret Rose, but everyone called her Maggie. Roses were her favorite flower and she used to joke that they were named after her, since they both were undeniably beautiful.” He smiled sadly and took a couple of breaths. “The skull represents death and the clock represents all the lost moments we will never have together; all the time we will miss out on.”
“Did you have any clue...?” I trailed off worried that Trent would get mad at J.J. for telling me about his mom’s suicide or for getting back on the subject of his mother when it was obvious he had wanted to avoid it.
Trent shook his head softly. “No. Tripp worked all the time, but Mom kept herself busy with various charities and foundations, as well as spending time with Charlie and Brooks. She seemed happy. Unfortunately, I’ve learned the hard way that the surface of the water may appear calm, but underneath a strong current may be churning.”
I thought back to the night I met Trent. I recalled the graveness in his eyes when he hadn’t shared what, or rather who, he was looking for during all these paranormal investigations.
“She’s the reason you started investigating, isn’t she? You wanted to know why she did it. You needed answers, and nobody but her could give them to you.”
Trent nodded sadly. “After she passed, I started having these dreams about her. Sometimes they would be good memories like her sipping hot chocolate and sitting in the stands, watching me play pee-wee hockey or us skating at Rockefeller during Christmas. Other times I would dream she’d be going on a trip or going out to an event and I would watch her leave and just know she wouldn’t be coming back. But this one dream...” He took a breath. “I kept having it over and over and over again. I would be at the front of the church in my navy-blue suit, because that’s the one my mom always liked me in best. And I would stand face to face with her upright, open casket. And she would be in it, with a rope around her neck and her head at this grotesque angle. And my heart would start to race, but I wouldn’t dare cause a scene. Members of the Knox family would never cause a scene like that. So, I would reach into my pockets to try and dry my sweaty palms only to find a note written on her pale pink initialed stationary. It reads the same thing in every dream. ‘That pain in your chest is a sign of a stubborn heart’.”
“That pain in your chest is a sign of a stubborn heart.” I repeated slowly. “Do you know what that is supposed to mean? Is that something she ever said to you when she was still alive?” I asked.
Trent shook his head. “No. I have absolutely no idea what it means. After I dreamt it the first few times, I started saying it to myself throughout the day to see if I could place it somewhere. Then, I started writing it out on paper. I tried my hardest to decipher the meaning, but I haven’t been able to come up with anything. The pain in my chest… is she talking about the pain I felt from losing her? Is it the pain she felt when she was still alive? But the stubborn heart… what is that supposed to mean? Does it mean I’m supposed to let go? Does that mean she held on for longer than she would’ve? I honestly don’t know.”
“You do realize though that you may never get an answer, right? You may never know why she did what she did. You may never know what that saying means.” I paused and looked at him. “Some questions aren’t meant to be answered, Trent.”
“I know. I just have to try. She didn’t leave a note, and I feel like Charlie and I deserve to know why. Hell, even my asshole of a father deserves closure.”
“But didn’t you say that you don’t believe in ghosts? In the true sense of the word, I mean.”
“I spent my entire childhood in the Catholic church. We were taught that you go straight to Heaven or Hell or if you weren’t quite set for either, Purgatory. So, in my eyes, ghosts were real. Because what is Purgatory? It’s a place where your soul expiates its sins. It’s this middle ground, a holding place if you will. But once I s
tarted investigating, things didn’t quite add up. I’ve never had a good experience with the paranormal. There’s so much that I would have to explain, but believe me, I have plenty of evidence to support my theory that you go to one place or the other. And any paranormal experiences you have are either with angels or demons. There is no such thing as Casper the Friendly Ghost, and there are no layovers in the afterlife.”
“You already made me question my own beliefs the moment we had this conversation at Echo. And I really wouldn’t mind learning more about this. Especially since it’s pretty much your life.”
“It has been my life. Until the day I met you. You kind of pulled my focus away from my obsession over trying to figure out why my mom did what she did.”
“Are you mad at J.J. for telling me?” I could tell that Trent’s emotions were running high, so I decided to try and steer our conversation another direction.
“Nah, I knew he’d tell you.”
“He was just trying... to get us back together, I guess.” I gently placed my hand on Trent’s chest and snuggled closer to him.
Trent huffed. “Yeah, right.”
I leaned away from him and looked up at his face. His head was resting on the back of the couch and he looked mildly amused; a nice change from his solemn expression moments ago. “Why wouldn’t he?” I asked, poking him in the ribs.
Trent looked at me and chuckled. “Because he wants you for himself.” He tapped a finger on the tip of my nose.
I frowned slightly. J.J. wants me for himself? I mean, sure, he’s flirted a little, but I just figured he was like that with all members of the female sex. Is he not? Is he really interested in me? No. There’s no way.
Trent rubbed the pad of his thumb in between my eyebrows and snapped me right out of my thoughts. “You were thinking hard there, Pic Chick. Practically could hear the wheels turning.”
I shook my head, laughing lightly. “I just don’t think you’re right. If he wanted me, do you really think he would tell me I should forgive you, if you quit being a jackass and called?”
“That’s what he said?”
“Yes.”
“Well, what do you think?”
“Huh?” Now I was confused. What was Trent talking about?
Trent chuckled. “Are you going to take his advice?” He tilted his head as he captured my chin between his thumb and forefinger.
I bit my bottom lip and looked toward the ceiling, pretending to contemplate his question. “I don’t know. Are you going to quit being a jackass?” I fought back a smile.
Trent smiled and ran his tongue along his top teeth before using his body to push me onto my back. “If you’ll give me another chance.” He whispered as he hovered over me.
I placed my hands on his upper arms and gave them a light squeeze. “You can’t push me away, Trent. I don’t want to play games.”
Trent leaned down and began trailing kisses along my neck. “Move in with me.” He spoke against my skin.
I blinked. Did he really just ask me to move in with him? This soon?
“What?” I asked breathlessly.
Trent swallowed hard as he looked up and stared deep into my eyes. “You are all I have wanted since I first laid eyes on you. This is me NOT playing games, NOT pushing you away. Move in with me.” His voice was low, but his words, and intentions, were clear.
My heart sped up in my chest. A part of me wanted to say yes. The other part of me... Well, it wanted to run for the hills. I mean, did we not just break up because we really know nothing about each other? But the way his green eyes shone, imploring me to accept his offer... I didn’t have the heart to flat out tell him no.
“I still have questions.” I said as I reached up and caressed his face with my hand.
“And I will answer them, after you answer mine.” He spoke, leaning into my touch.
I smiled and shook my head. “Well, yours technically wasn’t a question, nor was that our agreement. You’re not playing by the rules, Trent.”
“House advantage.” Trent smirked before placing a gentle kiss in the corner of my mouth.
I need a moment to think. And, being in such close proximity to Trent... Well, it’s just so damn hard to think clearly whenever I’m near this man. I moved my hands to Trent’s chest and gave him a slight push, as I leaned forward to sit up. He watched, perplexed, when I stood from the couch and walked toward the kitchen. I placed my hands on the cold, beige granite countertop and rocked back on my heels, taking a deep breath.
I felt Trent’s presence behind me before I felt him touch the small of my back. I closed my eyes, relishing the weight of his fingertips on top of my jersey.
“Why’d you move to Montreal?” I asked, turning my head and looking up at him.
Trent raised his eyebrows, before lowering them quickly. He turned his back to the bar and leaned against it, crossing his arms over his chest. “I was lost in New York. I felt alone.” He chewed on the inside of his cheek. “So, like the coward I am, I ran. I quit my job, put my place up for sale, loaded up my car, and headed north. Montreal was Mom’s favorite place in the whole world, so I felt like maybe I should try here first.”
I frowned. “You’re not a coward, Trent.”
Trent just nodded absently.
“Well, I guess that dual citizenship of yours came in handy, huh?” I smiled softly.
Trent chuckled. “Yeah, who would’ve thought I’d be so happy to have had a Canuck for a mother?”
“Hey now! We are NOT Canucks! We are Habs! BIG difference! HUGE!” I swatted him on the chest with the back of my hand, playfully.
Trent captured my hand in his. “Tomato, tomotto.” He said with a wink.
“You’re crazy.” I shook my head while I looked down at the stained concrete floor.
Trent gave my hand a squeeze. “No, I’m in love.”
My head snapped up and I blinked several times, trying to decide if he had really just said what I thought he did. Trent’s smile was small, but genuine, as he looked down at our entwined hands. “Why’d you push me away in New York then?” I asked.
His chest rose and fell with a deep breath. “You heard Charlie. My father isn’t exactly Mr. Rogers. He is not nurturing and is not one to compliment anyone. But you… you won him over. The devil himself said that you were the match for me. Charlie saw it too. They both saw it before I even had a chance to realize it.” Trent spoke pensively.
“Realize what?” I asked as I stepped closer to him, my thigh brushing against his.
“That you’ve ruined me completely for all other women.” His full lips curved upward and in turn, mine mimicked their movement.
My heart pounded in my chest as I felt tears pricking my eyes. “What about Rebecca?”
“Paige, I told you, she kissed me. I haven’t felt anything for her in years. I swear.” Trent looped an arm around my waist, while he brushed his knuckles against my cheek. “I haven’t felt anything for a woman in years, to be honest.”
My eyes widened with surprise.
“Tripp wasn’t lying. I moved up here and I did have a revolving door of women. But there was never any attachment. There was never anyone that made me feel even an ounce of what I feel for you. I love you, Paige. And I know that we’ve only been together for a couple of months, but... I knew it the moment you called me out for my shitty taste in beer.” He smirked and I threw my head back and laughed.
Leave it to “Mr. Romantic” to always know just what to say.
Trent’s hand moved to the back of my neck and my skin tingled as he slid it up into my hair. I eyed him carefully, trying to gain some insight into his real thoughts.
“You do realize that moving in together is far from casual sex, right?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
Trent scoffed. “That’s kind of the point. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but being apart from you doesn’t really suit me.”
“I noticed. You kind of look like shit, babe.” I fought back a smile.
“You
should see your helmet.” Trent made a cringe-worthy face that had me laughing again.
When I got serious again, I looked at him and my breath caught in my chest. This beautiful man is in love with me. And truth be told, my heart has been completely his ever since he made love to me in New York. I stepped forward and captured his face in my hands, crashing my lips onto his as my hands slid into his hair. With a gentle tug of his hair, I separated our mouths and looked Trent straight in the eye. “Je t’aime beaucoup.”
“I don’t know what that means, Paige. You know I don’t speak French.”
I smiled and shook my head. “It means I love you so much. So damn much, Trent.”
Trent beamed from ear to ear and kissed me again. “Oh, thank God!” He let out a sigh of relief.
“You really think that my living with you will suit you?” I bit my bottom lip as I stared up at him.
“I think you being in my bed every night will suit me just fine.” Trent said suggestively. He bent his knees and wrapped his arms around my legs, lifting me up and over his shoulder.
“Trent, put me down!” I giggled and slapped him lightly against his back. Hanging upside down, I had a spectacular view of his backside, so I didn’t complain too much. If I did, he might really put me down.
“Nope, I’m taking my woman to our bed.”
I chuckled and shook my head, as Trent climbed the iron spiral staircase that led to the second floor. “You still haven’t asked me!” I laughed even louder as we bounced up each stair.
He stopped at the top of the stairs and set me down, his expression serious again. “I’m asking now, Paige. Will you move in with me?” Trent fiddled with the hem of my jersey.
“You’re good at calculating risks, right?” I questioned, reaching up and brushing his hair out of his face. “What’s your assessment here?”
“I don’t think it’s going to be easy. But I definitely think it will be worth it, because I know that you’re the one for me... Just don’t give up on me.” His green eyes were so intense that I knew in that moment, he was speaking the truth.
I did a little happy dance on the inside, while maintaining my composure on the outside. To say I’m not terrified to move in with Trent would be a lie. I mean, I’ve never lived with another man before, aside from my brother and father. But I have to trust the man that has made millions on the stock market. It’s worth the risk, because he is the one for me.
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