Jezi strides past me and pulls Cassie around the corner to work a healing spell on her arm.
“Yeah. I’ll write it down when I get a chance.” He bends over, still trying to catch his breath.
“Do we know him?” I ask, shame hanging from every word.
He snorts bitterly and pushes off his legs to stand straight. His blue eyes go dark, anger and hate and a little bit of sadness swirling within them. “Yeah,” he says lowly. “He’s the leader of the Underground.”
The hot dog in my stomach turns into a hundred pound weight. My emotions flick back on. The same Demon my parents hunted the night my father died; the same Demon who’s done nothing but spread terror throughout the world by recruiting every paranormal to attack as many humans as possible. It’s because of him that this world has gone to shit, and I’m stuck with a partner. He gave the Divine Mourdyn the backing to start his civil war against Hunters.
Bael.
“AS LOVELY AS IT IS to look at you both, we can’t stand here all night,” Cassie says, pushing her red hair back over her shoulder. Jezi’s hands drop, concluding the healing spell she worked on Cassie’s arm. “I can’t believe that bastard managed to hit me with a spell. That never happens.” She looks at Gavin, crossing her arms, and sticks out her bottom lip.
He rubs the back of her head. “He was quick and working with dark magic. He got past all of us.” The defeat in his voice makes my stomach roll. We’ve never lost a hunt before. We’ve never had to process these shitty emotions. My hands are shaking by my side. I can’t be weak. I have to keep it together now more than ever.
I shut my emotions off.
I look to Jezi, dead set on finishing this. “We need to re-do the locater spell. We have to pick back up on his whereabouts,” I suggest, crossing my arms over my chest.
“I thought you wanted out,” Gavin says with a raised eyebrow and a cocky grin.
“I want to complete the hunt.” This is no longer about using the Witch for our own use, but to take the threat of a loose cannon off the streets of my sector; to finish what was started.
“He just doesn’t like losing,” Jezi says, pointing out the obvious.
Gavin snorts a laugh and turns to walk back toward his Hummer. He’s parked a few cars up from me. “Meet at Weldon’s,” he says. “He’s closest to work the spell.”
I nod and get in my truck. Jezi hops in the passenger seat. We don’t speak to each other. I don’t think either one of us can form our scattered thoughts into words. This has turned out exactly like I thought it would- dangerous.
By the time I pull up to the theater, I’m ready for a fight. I need something to help release the ache of emotions pushing against me, trying to get me to acknowledge them.
“I just don’t get it. Why buy all of those ingredients in one place, in an Elder’s shop no less, knowing it would raise suspicion?” Gavin asks me when he gets out of his Hummer.
I scratch my head as the dots dance in front of me, waiting for me to connect them. “He clearly has no sense.”
“Or he’s trying to send a message,” Jezi offers. I look over at her as she walks around the front of my truck. “I mean, he’s a Watchman. He knew this would raise suspicion. He came to an Elder’s shop, a shop that is consistently watched by the Priesthood, so maybe that’s what he wanted. Maybe he’s trying to tell someone something.”
“I’m not following you,” Gavin says, scratching his head.
“Don’t you remember studying the Great Battle of the Covens?” Jezi asks.
I level my gaze on her.
“Right. Well, back then, Darkyns had to lay low. One of the ways they attempted to gain Mourdyn’s attention, when he was still a Divine, was through openly buying ingredients for spells that were against our laws. Like an initiation thing. They knew it would be reported. It was the first step in deserting our Coven and becoming a Darkyn,” Jezi explains.
“Okay, but Mourdyn is locked in the Underground in an eternal sleep,” I say, “so how would that work?”
“I don’t know. I know it’s a stretch, but it’s all I’ve got.”
“I’m calling the Middletons,” Gavin says. He pulls his phone out and dials their number. My fingers find my mouth. I start to chew. “Hey, Russell. How’s it going? He pauses. “Yeah, we lost him. We’re at Weldon’s now to do the locater spell.” Another pause. “No shit.” His grip tightens around the phone and his eyes find mine. My stomach does a complete somersault. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll tell them,” he says slowly, quietly. Another pause. “Look, just…be careful, okay? This guy called the leader of the Underground to him to get away. He clearly has a plan.” A second later he says bye and hangs up.
“What is it?” I ask hesitantly.
“There’s more to this than Mack lead on.” His eyes find Jezi’s. “You were right. There are more hands in this pot. We’re talking High Priesthood shadiness here. Russell found maps and plans and books, all leading to the place where the Great Battle of the Covens took place. He thinks Joe’s looking for something. I heard Mary in the background. She said it’s a dagger he’s looking for.”
A dagger? “Shit,” I say.
“And he found a name. He didn’t tell me who. He said he wanted to speak with Mack first, but it’s the name of someone in the Priesthood. It was pinned in the middle of all the plans. Maybe that’s who he was reaching out to, or worse, working for.”
I rake a hand through my hair and blow out a heavy huff. “There’s no way we can continue with this. This is Elite shit.”
“It’s our assignment,” Cassie points out dryly.
I offer a sidelong glare. “No shit, Cass, but like I said, if someone in the High Priesthood is involved with this, then we’re screwed.”
“We already are screwed,” Gavin says as he pulls on his hair. His face has paled since the call, with small beads of sweat lining his forehead. “Joe spotted us, which means he’ll tell whoever he’s working for. They already know we’re on this case.”
An avalanche of heat rushes down my body as every cell inside of me livens with realization. Even if we back out now, we’ll still be a target just for knowing what we currently know. My stomach tightens with sickness. “The Middletons…they know more than we do. We have to stop them. We have to prevent them from going any further.”
“They’re grownups, Jax. They can handle it,” Cassie says, picking at her nails as if she’s bored by the topic.
“They have a daughter, Cassie! This isn’t a game. They can get in real trouble here, and for what? Because you all wanted a chance at a stupid spell that may not even work?”
“We have everything but the Witch,” Jezi says with notes of irritation burning in her voice. “We’re close to the end of this.”
I grab her shoulder. “So you’re willing to risk the Middleton’s lives too?”
She shrugs dismissively.
I glare at all of them, shaking my head. “You people are ridiculous.” I’m ready to pound someone’s face in, and I’d hate for it to be my brother. I can’t let this happen. This has to stop. I grab my phone out of my pocket and scroll through my contacts until I find Russell’s number. He answers on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Russell, this is Jaxen Gramm.” I don’t even recognize my own voice. It’s filled with fear and horror and dread.
“What are you doing?” Jezi asks mentally. The panic in her voice pisses me off. I shove her out. I’m desperate now, and it doesn’t matter what they think. It doesn’t matter if my reputation lessens. All that matters is stopping two good people from doing something that could potentially get them killed.
“Why, hello there, Jaxen.” He sounds a little surprised to hear from me. “I just talked to your brother. Tough go with the Witch. How are you?”
I run my hand around the back of my neck. “Well, to be honest, not so good. I don’t think you should go any further with this mission.”
“We’re actually tailing the Witch right now.
He just showed up here at his apartment. We should have him in custody soon.”
“Stop following him.”
“What?”
“You’re risking too much here. Knowing who the contact in the Priesthood is will not only jeopardize your reputation, but your life, Russell. I’m asking you to stop.”
“Son, we know what we’re risking here. This is our job. If someone in the Priesthood is dealing dirty, it’s our job to expose it. We were fully aware of the repercussions when we took this assignment from Maddock.”
“But-”
“I appreciate your concern, but don’t worry. We’ve informed Maddock of what’s happening and have been given the go ahead. He’ll send Elites when we say the word. Not to cut you short, but the Witch is parking now. I have to go. Have faith and trust your gut. The difference between doing the right thing and doing what’s best is fear. Don’t be afraid to fight for the truth, Jaxen Gramm. Don’t be afraid to be the light inside the darkness.”
The phone clicks off, and I’m filled with a sense of dread and confusion. My walls are crashing down around me, leaving me exposed. I want to do the right thing, but in doing so, many lives are put at risk. This has grown much bigger than my curse, much bigger than anything we ever expected, and I’m not ready for it.
For the first time in my life, I feel helpless, and I hate myself for it.
“Feel better?” Gavin says, the disappointment in his words running laps around me, dizzying me.
“Shove it,” I blurt back, plunging my hand through my hair.
“Jaxen, don’t beat yourself up over this,” Cassie says. “We’re only doing our job.”
“Can we just stop talking, please?” I ask, feeling suffocating fists of fate wrapping around my neck.
“Fine. Leave him be,” Gavin says harshly. He turns and heads for the theater. “I’m sure Weldon can talk sense into him.”
“IT’S ALL GONE TO HELL,” I say as soon as Weldon’s door opens. He moves aside, and I breeze past him, heading straight for the whiskey bottle set out on the perfectly kept dining table. In the years I’ve known him, the table has always remained set and dusted; the only part of his abode that he keeps clean, but it’s never been eaten at.
“Whoa, there,” he says when I grab the bottle and take a quick swig.
“Let him be,” Gavin says as he walks past me. “He’s experiencing repressed emotions right now and acting out like a little girl.”
My throat is on fire by the time I set the bottle back down. It takes me a second to speak. “Shut the hell up, Gavin,” I say with a snarl.
“Jaxen, whatever it is, I’m sure drowning your sorrows isn’t going to help,” Weldon says carefully, calmly. “You remember your promise.”
“Please, Jaxen. Weldon’s right. You hate drinking. Put it down,” Jezi pushes through my mind.
I fix a heated glare on her, feeling the heat turn into a comforting lightness that spreads throughout my limbs. “Yeah, well, you know what else I hate? I hate breaking rules. I hate the thought of killing someone so I can live. I hate taking the word of a Demon, and I hate being manipulated by someone I trust, by my partner, no less! How ‘bout that for a short list of things I hate!”
She shrinks away from me, her brown eyes flooding with regret. Cassie throws her arm over Jezi’s shoulder and guides her over to the fire pit, tossing me a dirty look.
I swallow more times than I can count and look over at Weldon. His head tilts to the side, and he crosses his arms, waiting for an explanation. He’s waiting for me to man up and keep to my promise.
“There’s a corrupt member in the Priesthood,” Gavin says as he plops down into a half-rotted arm chair. “The Middletons are following the Witch now, hoping to catch him. We came here to do a tracking spell, but since they’re tailing him, there’s no need for that. Jaxen’s having a meltdown because he’s worried about the Middletons. He’s worried about what they know.” He looks over at me. “I think what worries you the most is that we’re so close to working the spell. If they catch him, then you’ll have to go through with it. You’ll have to break your silly little code.”
A flurry of anger ripples from the crown of my head, all the way to my feet. “I don’t have to do anything.”
He flicks a glance over at Jezi. “Sure you don’t.” His eyes find Weldon’s. “Could you talk some sense into him, please?”
I drag my hand through my hair, and then glance down at the bottle. I’m about to bring it to my lips when Weldon says, “Step outside with me for a minute.”
I don’t know why, maybe it’s the sincerity in his tone, but I set the bottle down and follow him out the back door. “What’s really bothering you?” he asks the minute we’re alone.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, feeling a certain lightness in my head.
“Yes, you do,” he says evenly. “Be honest with yourself.”
I close my eyes and lean back against the wall. “I…I don’t want anyone risking their lives for this spell. The Middletons, the Witches, Gavin…” I open my eyes and turn to face him. “There’s a possible Priest or Priestess involved. The Witch bought ingredients for a time looping spell, which Jezi thinks was a message to someone.”
“Like the Darkyns used to do?”
“Yeah,” I say, watching his reaction. His face is flat, giving nothing away.
“It’s possible. I’ve heard mention of Bael looking for the dagger that sent Mourdyn away- the Dagger of Retribution. He put his feelers out in the Witch crowd, trying to see if there were any takers looking to revive the Darkyn Coven. I didn’t think anything of it because it’s been so long. Who would want to revert back to those days?”
A light sweat breaks out across my forehead. My walls are caving in on me, suffocating me. I can’t catch a good breath. “I don’t feel so good.”
He examines me over. “Just take a seat and breathe. I think you’re having a panic attack.”
I slide down the wall until I’m sitting. My chest rises and falls at an awkward, jagged pace. “I don’t panic.”
“You also don’t feel, but look at you. You’re not in control of yourself, Jaxen. You’re falling apart. In all the years that I've known you, I've never seen you like this. Is it Jezi?”
“No,” I answer honestly.
He sucks in a breath. “Is it...losing the curse? Being able to feel? Is that what scares you? Being able to really let Jezi in?”
I think about his question. “No,” I say a moment later. “Even if I could love her without fear of the curse, I don’t think I could. You know how I feel about her.”
He nods. “She’s friend material. I get it.” He sighs, and then looks back at me. “Then what is it? What's stopping you from shutting off your emotions and just going through with this mission? What's so unthinkable about cleaning up the Coven scum and being able to live your life to the fullest?”
I look over at him, clench my jaw, and say, “My morals are all I have. It's what makes me who I am, Weldon. Every man has their own code, and this is mine. I don't kill others for my own benefit, whether they're scum or not. And I won't sit back and let others kill themselves over a slight chance the spell could actually work.”
He sighs. ”Then look at it this way, my friend. This doesn't solely revolve around you and your curse. Stop thinking about yourself and ruining your man code, and start thinking about the other lives at stake here. I'm talking an entire world's worth of lives.”
I draw back. “What?”
He sits next to me, eyes glowing with more knowledge and hurt than I can process. “You need to open your eyes, Jaxen Gramm. Something’s happening, and we’re on the brink of finding out. This mission you’re on is important, really important. You know that now. The skills that you and Gavin have are needed now more than ever.”
“How so?” I focus on a piece of glass on the ground and pace my breathing.
He brings his hands to rest across the top of his knees. “Because of the Priesthood. Once y
ou’ve held power in your hands, there’s no turning back from it.” His eyes flick up to mine. “I think my brother put you on this mission for more than just your curse. Like me, he trusts you. He knows you’ll do everything it takes to do the right thing, and with what you now know, doing the right thing has never been more important. Every one of those bastards in the Priesthood gave up their magic and power to become a member, just like Clara’s willing to do, and every single one of them is looking for a way around it.”
I shake my head, searching the ground for an answer that can’t be found. “Maybe you’re right. This is just happening so fast. It feels like the ground is disappearing beneath me.”
“That’s because for the first time, you’re not in complete control, and that’s okay, Jaxen. It’s okay to be unsure...to be scared.” He shifts to face me. “Look, I know why you don’t want to do go through with the spell, and I commend you for it, but I also know what it feels like to want to save your brother. A crippled bond is better than none at all. If you don’t do it for Jezi, do it for him, man. He deserves it. If something is brewing, we’re going to need Hunters like you and Gavin, and Gavin is of no use without his Witch. He's of no use without you. You know that.”
I look away from Weldon, blinking away the stinging sensation. He would fall apart, just like my mother did, if he lost Cassie and me, and I wouldn't be there to pick up the pieces.
“How screwed up can one family be?” I say, feeling a bitter bubble of laughter rushing up my throat. “Who would place a curse like this on someone?”
“A screwed-up individual,” Weldon notes.
“Every Gramm born is born with a poisonous heart. If we choose to bottle up our love, then we die by it.”
“Correction. You commit suicide,” he says with a sidelong glare.
I blink away his comment. “But if we choose to unleash our love, the one we love dies. They take the poison. We murder them by loving them. It has to end at some point.”
He places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “I think you have your answer, my friend.”
The Gramm Curse (The Night Watchmen Series) Page 8