By the time I got to my motel room that night, my phone had died. I plugged it into the charger before hopping into the shower. I had been to seven different places that day and some of them were not the most sanitary. In fact, only two actually ended up being somewhere I would feel comfortable calling home.
The first was this little three bedroom apartment building with two other girls already. They didn’t actually need a roommate since one of the girls had more money than she knew what to do with, but they agreed to consider the possibility. I’ll be honest, I liked the place, but it made me a little uncomfortable. Despite all the years that I had known and cared for the Blake’s, and their surplus of funds, I still never really felt all that welcome being around that amount of wealth. They seemed like sweet girls though, and I needed a place to live.
The second home, I adored. It was a four bedroom, already home to three girls that I could see myself easily becoming friends with. They had similar personalities to Katie and I knew it would make me feel right at home. So, needless to say, I was definitely hoping they agreed to let me move in. They said they had a few other girls interested, but I should hear something before too long.
Once out of the shower and in my comfy pajamas, I crawled under the covers and turned off all the lights. I wasn’t sleepy in the slightest, but I had a good hour and a half drive ahead of me in the morning if I wanted to make it to West’s before he left for the day. I was excited to be seeing him again.
I’d been missing him like crazy and in just a few more hours, I would be seeing him. It was enough to keep me awake well into the night.
The next morning, I put on a pretty white sundress and a pair of black flats before I headed out. I made about a half dozen wrong turns thanks to the fact that I had apparently written down the wrong street name when I’d googled how to get there. I’d misread Mrs. Blake’s handwriting I’d seen on a scratch pad the last time I’d been in their house.
I turned another street and I saw the familiar black Chevy parked against the curb. I pulled my blue car in right behind it and looked at the house. It was a lot smaller than I had expected, but still much nicer than most of the houses I had seen the day before. At least from the outside.
I took a few calming breaths and went over one more time what I planned to actually say when I saw him. When I figured I’d put it off long enough, I shut off the engine and climbed out. I could hear music being played loudly as I made my way up the porch steps. I knocked, but barely any sound could be heard over the loud rock song. I knocked harder before hearing someone call out that they would be there in a minute. I let out a shaky breath just as the door opened.
A tall shirtless guy with messy black hair and a neatly shaved goatee stared back at me expectantly. He raised a brow up at me, and I realized that I hadn’t said a word.
“Uh, I’m Lennon. I was wondering if West was here.” The guy leaned back slightly and called over his shoulder for West. He turned back to me and let his eyes scan over me just before West’s smiling face came into view.
“Yeah?” He asked, but then he glanced toward me. His mouth dropped open in what I was sure was surprise. Then he pushed past the shirtless guy and came straight toward me. He immediately picked me up in his arms and held me close to his chest as he spun me around. Then he slowly sat me back down on my feet, but his arms didn’t release me.
“What are you doing here?” He asked with a shocked, but happy expression etched on his face.
“I wanted to see you. I was hoping to surprise you.”
“You succeeded.” He looked me over like he still wasn’t sure if I was really there or not. “Come in.” He let me in front of him and I stepped into the house. It smelled kind of nice, but there was also no doubt in my mind that it was a home full of boys. There were half eaten pizza boxes lying around various surfaces and in the living room, a shirtless guy and another guy were both staring at a large flat screen TV with game controllers in their hands.
“My room is down the hall,” West directed. The two guys never looked away as I made my way toward the room he indicated. When I stepped inside, I discovered it was just as tidy as his truck always had been. I could also smell the citrus scent that so often seemed to surround him. I took a seat on the edge of the bed while West pulled out a chair and turned it backwards before sitting down.
“Wow, I can’t believe you’re actually here right now,” he said, the surprise still evident in his tone. I smiled wide. It was just the reaction I’d been hoping for. He seemed genuinely happy that I was sitting across from him at that particular moment.
“Yeah, I took a trip to College Station and figured since I was so close, I should surprise you.”
“What were you doing in College Station?”
“Looking for a place to live,” I said honestly. His brows widened.
“You’re moving there?”
“I’ll be attending A&M in the fall.”
“Really?” I nodded my head. “That’s great Len. That’s close.”
“It is.” A silence settled between us, but neither of us was bothered by it. We were both just happy being near one another again. After a few minutes, my stomach growled loudly. West grinned.
“Hungry?”
“Starving.”
“I know the perfect place.” We went to breakfast at this cute little diner in the middle of downtown. West made sure to treat me like the tourist I was by pointing out all the neat historical places people came to see. He even drove by NASA so I could get a picture.
“When do you have to head back?” He asked.
“I’m planning on leaving in the morning.”
“Do you have somewhere to stay?”
“I have a room at the little motel on Riverside.” He cringed, and I couldn’t exactly blame him. It wasn’t the best place, but it was what I could afford. Besides it was only for one more night.
“You can stay with us tonight.”
“No, that’s okay.”
“Len, that place is like a safe haven for the seediest kinds of people. It’s not safe. We have a spare room right now, you can sleep there.”
“But I already paid for one more night.”
“I’ll pay you back. I don’t want you staying there Len.” He looked over me and the expression on his face wiped clear any argument I might have tried.
“Okay.” He gave a little nod before he made the way to my hotel. He grabbed my things and even checked out for me so I wouldn’t have to get out of the truck in such a sketchy place. I thought it was kind of amusing how careful he was being considering I had already stayed one night here.
“Alright, now that’s settled, dinner,” West said as he climbed back into the truck.
“Ugh, I don’t think I could eat anything right now. I’m still full from lunch.”
“Well the place I have in mind is drive thru anyway. We can grab something and take it back to the house.” He didn’t wait for my answer before going to the next stop on our list.
Once he had enough food to feed a small army, we went back to his house. His roommates, whom I had still yet to officially meet dove into one bag while West grabbed the other and my hand and we made our way back into the privacy of his bedroom.
“I’m gonna change real quick,” West said as he handed me the remote. “Do you need something?” The only pajamas I had brought was a small pair of shorts and a tiny tank top. It didn’t seem like the best choice.
“A shirt if you have one.” He nodded before making his way to his dresser. He pulled a couple of drawers open before looking back and tossing me a blue and gold blur. When I opened the soft shirt up, I noticed it was a replica shirt of one of West’s jerseys.
“You can change first,” he offered. I grabbed my shorts out of my bag before going into the bathroom. The second I pulled West’s shirt over my head, I was enveloped by his scent. I stood there for a second just relishing in it. Then I figured I had wasted enough time, so I changed into my shorts and headed back to West
’s room.
He was lounging back on the bed in nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants and a black tank top that showcased his nicely toned arms. He looked over at me and the way his eyes slowly scanned down the length of me then back up again, sent a tingle straight down to my toes. I hesitated for a moment before I slowly walked across the carpet and took a seat beside him on the bed. He was close enough that the smallest movement would cause us to be touching, but neither of us made that move.
Finally, West cleared his throat and handed me the remote. “I couldn’t find anything.” I wasn’t really interested in watching TV, but I needed something to distract my mind from the fact that I was sitting next to West in hardly any clothes. I barely registered the names of the shows, but then I saw one that I couldn’t resist. I clicked on it before dropping the remote between us. West turned his head away from me to look at the screen.
“What is this?” He asked.
“The Princess Bride,” I said with a wide smile. “It’s actually…”
“A book. Your favorite if I remember correctly.” He glanced over at me with that perfect dimple in place. I had never wanted to kiss someone more than I did him in that moment. So, I did.
I leaned in and closed my eyes. His lips were soft against mine, and I enjoyed just feeling his mouth move against mine for the first few seconds. It didn’t take long though before the air around us shifted. His hand found my hip and squeezed while I swiped my tongue against his bottom lip.
He shifted on the bed to try and find a more comfortable position and I helped by lying completely flat on my back. West leaned over me as he continued to kiss me deeply and sweetly. His hand slipped under the jersey just enough that I could feel the tip of his fingers against my skin. Whether by accident or intent, I’m not entirely sure, but I didn’t care either.
I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck to hold his lips to mine. Our tongues collided hungrily with one another and his hand edged up a little higher until I could feel the pad of his thumb on my belly button.
My heart was hammering wildly in my chest, and I knew he had to have felt it. He moved his mouth away from mine, but before I could protest, he started trailing little baby kisses down my neck. It felt so nice and I didn’t want it to ever stop. It wasn’t enough though. I wanted to feel his skin. I wanted to feel it pressed against my own.
I reached for the edge of his tank top and he didn’t need me to tell him what I wanted. He stopped his kisses and reached behind his neck to pull the tank up and over his head. Then he tossed it haphazardly across the room. There was still a lamp on that cast an orange glow over his muscled torso.
He stared down at me, and with nervous hands, I reached for him. I started at his shoulders and slowly moved my hands down his broad chest. When my fingers glided over his nipples, his body shook slightly. I looked into his eyes to make sure that I hadn’t done something wrong and he was just staring at me intensely. His stormy eyes looked heated, almost dangerous, only I wasn’t afraid of him. If anything, I just wanted him more.
I let my hands continue to move down until I felt the edge of his sweatpants. A part of me wanted to continue my exploration of him, but another part was scared. I wanted West to be my first. I knew that with every fiber of my being, but I still wasn’t sure if I was ready. Katie’s words echoed in my head though. What exactly was I waiting for? This was West.
My West.
He would never hurt me. He would take care of me. Plus, I loved him. I had since I was thirteen. There couldn’t be a more perfect moment. So, with that thought in mind, I began to reach under the band of his pants.
I barely had my fingertips inside when West reached between us and grabbed my wrist, keeping me from moving forward. I raised a brow up in question. “Len, we need to stop,” he whispered.
“Why?”
“Because we can’t do this. Not right now.” I pulled my hand away from him and he released me. Then he moved back and sat on the heels of his feet. I scooted up to a sitting position as I stared back at him.
“I don’t understand.” He ran a hand through his short hair before he looked back at me with such a sad expression on his face. I was confused though. I thought he had been enjoying it. “Did I do something wrong?”
He seemed surprised by my question and he quickly shook his head. “No, not at all.”
“Then why did you stop me?” I could feel my eyes watering. I didn’t want to think that West didn’t want to be with me that way, but why else would he have stopped things. From what Katie told me about the few times her and Matt had been together, guys didn’t stop unless you were doing something they didn’t like.
“Len, please don’t cry,” West said softly. I hadn’t even realized he could see. I wiped at my eyes. “I just…this isn’t right.”
“Is it because I’m still seventeen? I turn eighteen next week.”
“No, I just…” he hesitated and I looked over at him. He seemed torn. “I want this, but not like this. Your first time should be something you won’t ever forget. Something you cherish. I want that for you more than anything.”
“I would cherish this,” I said honestly, but he shook his head.
“No, you wouldn’t. Your first time should be with someone that you know inside and out. Someone that you love without question. It should be romantic and meaningful. Not like this.”
I wanted to argue with him that he was that someone, that this moment could be all that, but I didn’t. In the back of my mind, I knew I wasn’t ready. I wanted everything he just said, and I knew someday I would have it all…with him.
So, I moved toward him and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. It didn’t go further than that though. Instead, we turned off the TV and snuggled against each other before eventually, sleep washed over us both.
Seventeen
The next morning, it was time to say goodbye even though that was the absolute last thing I wanted to do. West held me against him and kissed the top of my head. He promised that we would talk as much as possible over the summer. He had a small trip planned at the beginning of summer, and then football would start up again, so chances were we wouldn’t get to see each other again. Once again, I would have to settle with just hearing his voice through a phone or reading his sweet words. It wasn’t ideal, but I wasn’t going to complain. At least I still had him.
“I’ll call you every day,” he whispered. I looked up at him and he flashed me that grin of his. He leaned forward and gave me one last kiss that didn’t last nearly long enough for my liking.
Then, regretfully, I pulled away from him and climbed into my little blue car. It was going to be a long six hour drive back home, that was for sure.
“Text me as soon as you make it.”
“I will.”
He was still watching me when I turned the corner and couldn’t see him anymore. I fought the urge to turn around and go back to him. I needed to get home, and I still had a long drive ahead of me.
I was exhausted by the time I pulled into my driveway. So much so that I went straight into my bedroom and fell onto my mattress then passed completely out. I finally woke up sometime later when I heard my name being called over and over again. When my eyes fluttered open, I saw Katie hovering over me.
“Hey Katie,” I said groggily as I sat up. I stretched my arms out and let out a low yawn before rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. “When did you get here?”
“Matt and I broke up,” she replied. It took a second for her words to register. My eyes widened in surprise and that’s when I noticed that she had been crying.
“When?”
“This morning. We went out for breakfast like we always do on Sunday mornings. We were just sitting there when he started talking about graduation coming up pretty soon. I didn’t think too much of it at first because we’ve had a few talks about it, and we’d already decided that we were going to try staying together.”
I remembered her telling me that a while back. I nodded my head and she
paused to take a breath. I could tell her eyes were watering, and I wished there was something I could do to make her feel better.
“Then he just came right out and said it. Like it wasn’t this huge deal at all. One second he’s talking about what his major will be, and in the next breath he said that he didn’t think it was a good idea for him to have a girlfriend while he was in Washington. I just don’t get it.”
“Did he give you a reason at all?” I had been around her and Matt on more occasions than I had ever cared to, and I was having a hard time picturing the Matt that I had watched fawn over her like she was the greatest thing to happen to him, saying what she said he had.”
“Yeah, he said that Washington and Texas were too far apart so chances are we wouldn’t last past the first year anyway, and he thought it was better to just end things now. Or actually, he said he still wanted to date for the rest of the summer, but before we left in August we would break up.”
I could tell by her tone, she wasn’t on the verge of crying anymore. At least not sad tears. I half expected her to get up and go attack him. “What did you say?” I asked.
“I told him that if he couldn’t be with me long distance then he damn sure didn’t deserve me up close.” I smiled because I could easily picture that coming out of her mouth.
“Good job, you’re right, he doesn’t deserve you.” I pulled her into a hug and I heard a slight sniffle. I looked over and ‘Sad Katie’ was back.
“I just don’t get how this could have happened. I thought he was the one, Len.” I hesitated because I wasn’t sure if she actually expected a response from me or if she was just venting.
“He wasn’t,” I finally said. She kept her head down just staring at her lap, so I went on. “One of these days Katie, you’re gonna meet an amazing guy that makes all the other boys seem like nothing, but small blips in your memory. He’s going to show you the way you deserve to be treated, and he’s going to make sure you know everyday how perfect the two of you really are for each other.” As I spoke, I couldn’t help but think of West. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he would be that exact thing for me. Maybe not right now because we were still young, but one day. He was my forever. I smiled as I spoke.
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