by Mz. Lady P
“I’m your momma but your wife trumps that. Tahari do not play about her Thug. If I wasn’t your momma I think she would have killed my ass right there in that family room. You know she didn’t mean to do this to you. I’m begging you to not ruin your life making hasty decisions. I don’t want you to grow old and alone like I’m going to be. You and Tahari need to grow old together. It’s in the universe. You and her were made for each other.”
I flamed up a cigarette and just stared at him as he looked down at his phone. At the same time Malik and Ta’Jay came strolling in the back door. Ta’Jay rushed in and headed straight to Thug, hugging all over him. Malik walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead.
“I missed you Ma.”
“I missed you too baby. I’m glad somebody missed me,” I said, rolling my eyes at Ta’Jay but I was just kidding with her.
“You know I miss you too, Ma. It’s just that I been worried about my brother. You know how I am about my brothers. Plus, I’m worried about my sister too. Did you talk to her Thug?”
“I’m worried about her too baby.” We all just looked at Thug waiting for him to say something with regards to Tahari but he didn’t.
“Bro, you really need to find out where sis at. You know she probably somewhere crying and shit. You need to let her know the shit over and for her to come home. It’s too much going on out here for her to just be M.I.A,” Malik said as he fired up a blunt and knocked back a shot of Patron.
“I’m glad y’all here but I don’t want to talk about Tahari right now. However, I do want y’all to hear some real shit. Before any of the success we’ve had, it’s always been us four. We did whatever the fuck we had to do to survive. All of our life you made sure we had everything that we needed. We never had a hungry or cold day. I don’t give a fuck how you got that bread, you got it and in the process you taught us to get down how the fuck we live. By any means necessary and that’s always been my motto. I never in my life want you to ever feel like you failed as a parent.
The lifestyle you showed us made me the beast I am today. Let’s get something clear right now. You’re the epitome of a good mother. No, let me rephrase that, you’re a great mother so stop walking around and thinking that you’re not because you have flaws. All of your flaws make you special in our eyes because it makes you who you are as our mother. I don’t think I would even be who I am if I had some square ass woman for a mother. You’ve always been down to ride until the very end for us. You do the things you do because you love us. Don’t ever beat yourself up for he things we endured growing up because it made us. The Kenneth Family ain’t shit without the backbone and the foundation. You built us Ford tough and don’t you ever forget it.”
“Thanks Ka’Jaire. I needed to hear that.” Tears welled up in my eyes and I reached over and hugged him. Malik and Ta’Jay joined in on the hug as well. He kissed me on the jaw and hurriedly walked away.
“Where you going, Bro? Ole soft ass nigga,” Malik yelled and Ta’Jay popped him upside the head to make him shut up.
“Shut up Malik and leave my baby alone.”
“Y’all know that nigga about to cry right?” Malik said, as he knocked back another shot.
“Is he okay Ma? I’m about to go check on him. I don’t like how he acting.” She tried to walk off but I grabbed her back.
“Your brother is just fine. That ain’t nothing but growing pains. This thing with Tahari has him all in his feelings. So, let’s just give him his space to get it together. Speaking of Tahari, I wonder where in the hell she could be?”
“Ain’t no telling with her but I want to find her. I can’t take my brother holding his pillow tight at night crying and listening to Keith Sweat.”
I just shook my head and went to check on Thug. Malik’s ass could never take shit serious but I knew that was his way of coping. I’m amazed at how much he’s grown. When Malik was younger he stopped talking for like a year and that was because Snake was molesting him. Once they killed his ass it was like he started a new life. If only I could get him to stop talking now.
After having some much needed conversations with them I prepared myself to go and pick my kids up from Quanie. I hoped and prayed that bitch was gone. The Patron was kicking in. Not to mention, I had hit Malik’s blunt a couple of times so I was on good bullshit. However, I knew I had to control myself and my liquor. Quanie was just looking for a reason to call me a bad mother or a horrible wife. I’m neither of those things so it was imperative I act accordingly. Even though I want to be on good bullshit.
*****
“I’m sorry I’m so late picking them up. I was dealing with this Thug situation. Plus, I was able to sit down with him, Malik, and Ta’Jay. We were in need of some one on one family therapy.” I was standing on his porch and he was talking to me through the door.
“That’s what up. I’m glad you were able to spend some time with them. Wait right here. I’ll bring them out to you.” He slammed the door in my face and it made me jump. I couldn’t believe he wouldn’t even let me inside. I counted to ten trying to calm down but I just couldn’t. I politely twisted the door knob and walked in. He and this bitch were getting my kids dressed. I didn’t know this girl from a can of paint so why in the fuck was she even touching my kids.
“I don’t know who you are but could you excuse us for a minute.” She looked at me and then at him. “This shit ain’t even up for debate Li’l Momma. Get the fuck out so I can talk to my husband!” I walked over and I snatched Quanye away from her. She put her hands up in defeat and walked to the back of the house.
“Really Peaches?”
“What the fuck you mean really?”
“You know what, shut the fuck up talking to me and get the fuck out. You’re too damn old to be on this bullshit.” Just him calling me old was too much for me to take. Now all of sudden I was old because he had a younger bitch. I just turned my back to him and started grabbing my kid’s things that I saw, placing it in their book bags. I hurried up and wiped the tears from my face that had fallen. The last thing I wanted was for him to see, or his new bitch, to see me crying.
“Don’t cry Mommy,” Quanie said as he reached up and wiped my face. That only made the tears flow like a river.
“Come on now man, you crying for nothing.” Quanie grabbed me and pulled me into his embrace.
“What you mean I’m crying for nothing?”
“Quantez, I’m about to go. I’ll leave so I can give you guys some privacy. It’s obvious that you guys need to sit and have a much needed conversation.”
“You don’t have to leave sweetie. It’s obvious we don’t have shit to talk about.” I started grabbing my kids and we headed towards the door. I needed to get the fuck out of there with the quickness because I felt myself about to shoot these bitches. I hated when I cried, especially when it was over a man. That shit is so weak to me but even the strongest of women get weak over a man and wear their emotions on their sleeves. It’s just that I don’t want to be one of those women.
“Quantez, would you please tell your wife that I’m your sister. This is getting out of hand.”
“I don’t have to tell her shit. She’s just assuming some shit without asking. Last time I checked, we weren’t even together so it wouldn’t be any of her concern anyway. This isn’t nothing but another one of her childish ass antics and I’m tired of the shit.” Quanie kicked over the flat screen and that made the kids start crying.
“See what the fuck you did Quantez!” I hollered as I tried to calm the kids down.
“I’m Quanisha, his older sister. You’ve never met me because I live in Dubai. I’ll calm them down. Please go back there and talk to him. He’s been walking around here like a sad ass puppy dog and I can’t take it.”
“I’m sorry about the way I acted towards you.”
“It’s cool. I probably would have acted the same way with my husband.” I walked away and found Quanie sitting on the patio smoking a blunt. I just stood behind him a minute be
cause I didn’t know what to say to him. I just shook my head at myself. This little nigga had my head gone but I would be lying if I said I didn’t love him.
“I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions but how did you expect me to react? I come over here and there’s some random ass chick in your house and I don’t know who she is.
“I expected for you to act your age and not your shoe size. This is the reason why we’re separated now. If I wanted a young random ass bitch I could easily get me one and have several of them bitches on speed dial to do this dick and swallow it too, but I’m not on that with these hoes. I wifed you because you have everything I want and need in my life. You’re the mother of my children and we have to set an example for them Peaches. “
“Damn Quanie! I said I was sorry.” Quanie jumped up and got in my face like he was going to hit me.
“See that’s the thing. Your ass is forever sorry for your behavior. You say that shit and then you turn around and do the same motherfucking thing. I’m sick and tired of you trying to play with me like I’m some motherfucking joke. I might be younger than you are but that don’t mean shit to a gangsta ass nigga like me. I’m not that nigga Vinnie and I for damn sho’ ain’t that bitch ass nigga Snake. I’m more than some handsome ass nigga with a big dick that dropped some seeds off in you. Respect me as a man Peaches or get the fuck on with your bullshit. Don’t think you’re the only one that can make this dick do tricks. My job is to sling cock and your job is to ride it. Play your position and we’ll be just fine.”
I didn’t know if I should be mad at his choice of words or go sit in the corner because he definitely just bossed the fuck up on my ass. That shit had turned me completely on.
“I’m serious when I tell you that I’m sorry Quantez. I’m sorry about everything. I’m sorry for all of the partying and just flat out disrespecting you as a man. You didn’t deserve that because you’ve been nothing but good to me since the moment we decided to make things official. I guess I started with all the partying because somewhere inside of me I thought that you were going to leave me for someone that was younger. I don’t know, I just felt like I had to start acting a little younger just so I can keep up with you.”
“Stop right there. Have I ever made you feel like you had to be a younger woman? Your age is what made me attracted to you. I keep telling your ass I love you Peaches. Fuck these young bitches. They don’t have shit on you. Bring your ass here man.” I put my head down and slowly walked over to him. He pulled me in close and hugged me tight.
“I love you, bae and you know that. You don’t have to act out to get my attention. You got all of me for the rest of our lives. It’s always been about you and the kids but I had to distance myself to let you know to stop fucking playing with me. I need you to be a wife and a mother to our kids. I’m your man. Just fall back and let me do what the fuck I have to do. Now is this going to be the last time we have this conversation?”
“Yes, Quanie, this is the last time.”
“Now give Daddy a kiss with your old ass.”
“Don’t play with me Quanie,” I said as I playfully hit him. We both laughed and it felt so good. I couldn’t remember the last time we actually smiled. I will never take his love for me for granted. I’ve never had a man that truly loved me without an ulterior motive in my life. Quanie loves me for me and brings so much to my table that I don’t even have to add anything to it. I love how he loves me and lets my ass know when I’m fucking up. Yep, that lil nigga got my old ass in line and in check. Now that I have fixed my relationship with my husband, it’s time I get shit in order with Thug and Tahari. I’m not gone rest until I find out where the fuck my daughter-in-law is.
Chapter 14- Tragedy
Keesha
I was doing my best at holding it in where Tahari was. If Quaadir found out I was lying to him he would have a fit. Thug is his brother and Tahari is my sister. My loyalty is to her before anybody. She’s all I have in this world with regards to blood family outside of my kids. I could care less about Python. I tolerated him to a certain extent but I didn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. He came out of the blue too fucking nice for me. I learned to never get comfortable because everybody has a motive. He could stay his ass away from me and my kids.
At first I welcomed him into our life and things were cool. Up until we told him that we were retiring and we could no longer do hits for him. Quaadir was dead set against it from the jump but gave in because he knew how I wanted to be closer to my family. Once we told Python and he started bad-mouthing Thug Inc., I knew I would never fuck with him again in life. I blocked his ass from calling me. If you don’t like my husband, then you don’t like me. We are as one. No matter what the case may be I’m riding for my husband.
Although Thug Inc. had went into retirement back in Chicago, Quaadir was very much still in business here in Atlanta. Or shall I say God was still in business. That’s what he goes by and that’s how the streets address him. Being in Chicago all that time made me forget just how powerful my husband was back home. I was so mad at him when he told me he was back running things for Aunt Ruth.
At sixty-five she was still in the dope game strong with no end in sight. It’s amazing how she still hanging with the best of these niggas. Quaadir is her baby and she loves him like her own. People that know us out here would never believe just how deep his family is back home besides the ones who know that Thug is his brother. Quaadir is the boss of all bosses out here and just as lethal as they come. He’s one way when he’s with his brothers and Thug Inc. but he’s a different person when he’s out here. Either way, I love him for him and who he is. I just wish that he would give this shit up all the way. But, of course he’s not listening to me.
I’m irritated with him because he’s back keeping late hours and barely being at home. I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t even care anymore. For the sake of my sanity, I have to put my focus on my kids and making sure they’re straight. Quaadir is not going to give me gray hair worrying and stressing over him. I’ve been with this man since I was fifteen and I’ve been going through the same shit since then. Now don’t get me wrong when I say that because he’s much better than he used to be. It’s just that we aren’t getting any younger. It’s time to leave all the bullshit behind us and grow old together. I’m sick and tired of being worried sick about him being out in the streets at all times of night. Quaadir is getting too damn old for that shit.
*****
“Hey Aunt Ruth. What are you up to?” I walked inside of her beautiful Alpharetta home and she was sitting up in her recliner watching Law and Order: Special Victim’s Unit. I laughed as she hollered at the TV like the people could really hear her. That shit used to make me so mad when I first moved in with them. She would be up late as hell hollering at the TV. Now it’s funny as hell to me.
“Just sitting here watching my shows. Where my babies at?”
“The girls are at cheerleading practice and the boys are home with Nanny.”
“I done told you and Quaadir about leaving those kids with a nanny. Black folks don’t have no nannies. We keep our own damn kids. Bring them over here to me. Grandma take care of them real good.”
“Now Aunt Ruth you know you ain’t got no time to be keeping no kids. You be out in the streets just as much as Quaadir do.” Aunt Ruth always complaining about us leaving the kids with a nanny but she knows damn well she ain’t got no time to keep them. She loves them dearly but babysitting is not on her resume. Plus, I’d rather them be with a nanny. The last time the girls spent the weekend with her she taught them how to cook and measure coke. I was pissed because I don’t want that for them. Quaadir thought the shit was so cute.
“Well, I’ll be home more. Them doctors saying I have stage IV lung cancer.” I jumped up and grabbed the cigarette from her hand that she had flamed up. I was in shock but I had to muster up the courage to keep a straight face. I wanted to crumble because this woman had been a mother and my best friend for many year
s. Without her I don’t know where I would be.
“How long have you known?”
“About two months. I was trying to decide on what I wanted to do. I decided not to get chemotherapy or radiation. I’m too far gone so there’s no reason for me try it. I have about six months left. So I’m gone sit here in the comfort of my home and live out my last days. Now, I see you over there getting ready to start that crying but don’t cry for me. I lived a long, prosperous and luxurious lifestyle. I lived everyday like it was my last day on Earth. Aunt Ruth gone be just fine. I just want you to promise me one thing.” I hurriedly wiped my face and listened to her intently.
“Take care of my baby. I know he’s a hard man to love. He needs you to always be with him. You’re the voice of reason that he needs when life gets hectic. Please don’t ever give up on him. You know that Quaadir is my world. It don’t matter that I didn’t give birth to him and he’s built a bond with Peaches and the rest of the kids. I raised him and taught him everything. That’s my baby and it’s killing me to know that I’ll have to leave him in this world alone. As long as he has you and the kids, I know that he will be okay.
“And another thing, this is strictly between you and me. I do not want Quaadir stressing about my sickness. I also don’t want Peaches, Gail, or Sherita coming up here worrying the hell out of me. I just want a peace of mind. My last will and testament is in my top drawer in room. Please abide by my wishes. I don’t want no funeral or no memorial service. Just cremate me and keep my ashes in your house. I want to always be where Quaadir lays his head. I’m his guardian angel in life and I want to be in death. I think I’ll be able to rest easy being close to him. I know it sounds crazy but those are my wishes. Now, I’m counting on you Keesha to do that for me. Promise me that you won’t tell the rest of the family.”
I walked over and bent down over the recliner and hugged her for what seemed like an eternity.