by Lucy Clark
She nodded, and together they headed out and down the corridor. Once there, she expected Joss to go in a different direction, to leave her to her own devices, but instead he held the front door open and waited for her to go out before him.
‘Best to make ourselves scarce for a few minutes. Ron and Gemma will want to talk to the kids.’
She nodded, surprised at his forethought. ‘They’re a very open and loving family.’
‘They are.’
‘You were brilliant with those children. All of them were so enraptured by what you were reading.’ Melissa stood at the verandah railing, looking out at the never-ceasing rain. Joss perched himself against the far railing, ensuring there was quite a bit of distance between them. ‘And you’re completely natural with the older children as well,’ she praised.
He shrugged. ‘I have siblings. Five of them, to be precise.’
‘Really? I didn’t know that. But then, there’s a lot about you I don’t know.’ It explained why he was being so chatty all of a sudden. Being here with the Etheringtons reminded him of being with his own family, and that had to inspire a certain sort of comfort in him.
He shrugged those broad, firm shoulders of his and crossed his arms over his chest. ‘I guess I’m used to dealing with children, family situations and the like. You know—taking responsibility, helping out, reading stories, giving orders. Coming here to the Etheringtons’ is like walking into my own home. In fact, the last time I was here I offered to help Peter do the dishes and we sort of ended up having a soapsud fight in the kitchen. Gemma got cross with both of us.’
Melissa couldn’t help but laugh. ‘I can imagine.’ It appeared Joss was having one of his ‘hot’ phases, and she liked it. Of course as he was now running hot it would mean that a cold snap would no doubt come later, but she decided that for now she’d go with it. What could it hurt? He obviously had good reasons for being the way he was. Maybe, just maybe, there was something she could do to help him.
‘But we cleaned the place up. Even mopped the floor.’
‘I should think so—I’m sure you made your mother proud.’
His grin was wide, his face relaxed as he spoke again. It made him look more handsome than usual. ‘I used to have soapsud fights with my brothers all the time. In fact on one occasion the kitchen floor was so wet that when my brother Tony lunged for me, I slipped, fell and cracked my head on the corner of the kitchen cupboards as I came crashing down.’ He pointed to the side of his head. ‘Four stitches.’
Melissa laughed. ‘I’ll bet your mother was impressed! How old were you?’
‘About Peter’s age.’
‘So, you’re the oldest?’
‘I am.’
‘Must have been fun?’
He shrugged. ‘I guess. I don’t know any different, so I can’t really comment. We had noisy dinners, talked over each other.’
‘Sounds amazing.’
‘But there was always some job or other that needed doing. Always.’
‘Especially as you were the oldest, eh?’
‘Exactly.’
‘Well, if it helps any, there were always jobs that needed doing at my house, and I was the only one there to do them.’
‘I guess it doesn’t matter whether you’re in a brood or an only child—there will always be jobs to do.’
She smiled. ‘And when you become an adult those jobs are endless.’ Melissa sighed and looked out into the rain, rather than looking at him. He was so very nice when he was like this, all relaxed and talkative. She liked this Joss much better than the broody one—the only problem being that this one was harder to resist. However, resist she would. She didn’t want to risk misreading the signals again. ‘Do you have any idea just how lucky you are to have such a big family?’
‘I do. I didn’t for quite a while, but when I decided to move to Didja they were one hundred percent behind me. All of them.’
‘You’re close?’
‘Yes. We usually try and get together once or twice a year.’
‘That’s nice. Family’s important.’
It was darker now, the sun having been pushed out by the clouds, yet still she could see the outline of his silhouette as he half-leaned, half-sat against the railing, his arms still crossed firmly over his chest. They were both silent for a while, just absorbing and listening to the sounds of the Outback, but for the first time their silence wasn’t the uncomfortable kind.
‘I guess it must be hard for you. Being alone, I mean.’
‘That’s why I like to surround myself with interesting people.’
‘What were your parents like?’ Joss asked, liking the fact that they seemed to be having a normal and casual conversation. She was a colleague. This was business. He was finding out a bit more about his employee.
She instantly smiled, and his gut clenched as she looked his way. She had the most amazing smile. He firmed his jaw, fighting back the attraction.
‘They were sweet. Loving. Kind. Caring. The things parents usually are. They were both only children, and though they wanted a large brood of their own it simply never happened. They were in their late forties when they adopted me, and even then they only got me because I was so much older than the babies who were being put up for adoption. They didn’t care, though. They just wanted someone of their own to love.’
‘And your biological mother? No family on her side?’
‘Eva? Not that she knew of. Her parents had both died, as had her older brother.’
‘I guess I can understand why getting to know Dex is so important to you. He’s a good guy.’
‘Who does rain dances.’
Joss chuckled and swept a hand out at the rain surrounding them. ‘And they work.’ He slowly shook his head. ‘Typical Dex.’
‘I did read that people in the Outback can go quite insane when a drought breaks. Perhaps Dex goes insane before that?’
He shook his head. ‘But the drought isn’t broken yet. This is just good drenching rain.’
‘Oh. So we can only blame Dex for good drenching rain?’
His eyes lit with laughter. ‘Afraid so.’
‘Dex sounds like fun.’ Her words were quiet, intense.
‘He’s a good mate,’ Joss agreed. ‘A little insane at times, but good fun nevertheless.’
‘Insane. I like that. The insanity plea always works well in court—not that I’m suggesting we take him to court for being a little insane. I’m just…well…I’m babbling.’ Melissa looked at Joss a little closer. ‘Are you all right? You’re looking a little pale.’ Was she about to get the return of the Ice Man?
The humour had drained from his face, because he knew all about court cases—especially on a personal level—and he knew just how ‘insane’ they could get. ‘I’m fine.’
‘Sorry, Joss. I was only joking about Dex. I don’t really think he’s insane.’
‘Sure.’ He tipped his head back and closed his eyes.
‘Want to talk about it?’ she ventured, unsure of what sort of response she’d get. Would it be hot or cold?
‘What?’
He looked at her, a scowl on his face. Melissa swallowed, and then took a deep breath before plunging ahead. ‘Do you want to talk about whatever it is that’s bothering you?’
‘Nothing’s bothering me.’
She held up her hands in surrender. ‘Good. Fine. Sorry. I must have grasped the wrong end of the stick.’ The Ice Man had returned. Well, it had been nice while it lasted, and she’d certainly discovered a bit more about the man she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about. ‘I guess I’ll head in. I can hibernate in the spare room if Gemma and Ron are still talking to their children.’
She took a few steps towards the door, the automatic sensor light coming on, blinding her for a moment. Joss called her name and she turned to look at him. He was so gorgeous, leaning against the railing, arms still crossed, the rain behind him framing him to perfection.
‘Don’t go on my account. You stay he
re. I’ll go.’
‘What? You’re going to storm out into the rain again just to get away from me?’
Joss raked a hand through his hair at her words, deciding that he probably deserved them. ‘You know, Lis, you’re not at all what I expected.’
‘What did you expect?’
‘I don’t know, but not this.’
‘Do you often find being around women difficult?’
‘Yes. Er…no. That’s not what I meant.’
‘Then what did you mean, Joss?’ She wasn’t angry with him, but she was becoming increasingly frustrated. ‘I’ve been trying for days to figure you out, and all I keep doing is going around in circles.’
‘Why do you need to figure me out?’
‘So I can cope working alongside you. So I can work harder at ignoring this pull I feel towards you. So I can get on with my life, which isn’t supposed to be this complicated.’
‘Look—’ he ground out, taking a few angry steps forward but stopping before he got too close to her. Being close to Melissa wasn’t a good thing, especially when she had the appearance of an angel, framed beneath the artificial light. ‘I don’t do dating. I don’t do relationships. It’s just the way it is. I was betrayed four years ago by the woman I was going to marry and I vowed then never to trust another. Something happened—something which wasn’t my fault. The press had a field day with it. Dex, my closest friends, and of course my family stood by—me but Christina…’ He shook his head, bitterness in his tone. ‘She not only believed the lie, she helped to fuel it. Right when I needed her most.’
Melissa could feel the pain and betrayal radiating from him and her heart empathised, but she was sure he didn’t want it. ‘I understand about not being able to trust. I understand about feeling betrayed. For years I wondered why my mother had given me up for adoption. Why didn’t she want me? I guess it’s the sort of question all adopted children ask themselves. And then, when I finally got my answer, I was actually grateful that she’d given me up. You see, she hadn’t trusted herself with Dex or myself, fearing she might actually harm us. It was a brave decision to make, given she was so manically depressed.’
‘So you forgave her?’
‘Of course. If I hadn’t, I might still be walking around bitter and empty, trying to fill that void with numerous relationships, not being able to come out on house-calls for fear of seeing happy families living in harmony together. I think that’s why Dex probably hates doing house-calls.’
Joss pondered her words for a moment, his anger dissipating a little. ‘That’s quite an insight. Quite spot-on, too. I actually hadn’t thought of it like that before—why he is the way he is.’ He was quiet for a moment, then asked, ‘Do you still have a void?’
‘I’m here, aren’t I? I’ve tried to fill it—oh, in so many different ways. I’ve looked for love and acceptance in many places, but after my engagement ended—after yet another setback and someone else not wanting me—I realised I was looking in all the wrong places.’
‘Hence why you’re here?’
‘Well, yes—but also no. You see, I needed to find that acceptance within myself first. I needed to accept that Renulf didn’t want to marry me because I simply wasn’t what he needed—not any more. It was different when we first met—it always is different in the beginning—and then, as time went on…’ She shrugged as she trailed off. ‘The point is, I’m still trying to like me. I’m a work in progress.’
‘So you don’t have time for relationships and things like that either?’
‘No.’
‘Hmm.’
They were silent again, and whilst she willed him to say more, he didn’t, and she started to feel completely stupid standing in the middle of the verandah beneath the light. Without another word, she turned on her heel and left—and this time he didn’t try to stop her.
CHAPTER EIGHT
AFTER dinner, things settled down quickly. The younger ones were bathed by Yolanda, and Peter checked their teeth. Ron, their father, read them bedtime stories before tucking them in. The older children stayed up talking quietly for a while, before heading off to their rooms. Melissa and Joss kept their distance from each other the entire time, neither quite sure what to do or say next.
‘Do you know where you’re sleeping?’ Joss asked.
Melissa shook her head. ‘Where are you sleeping?’
‘Out here on the sofabed.’
‘Oh.’
‘Here. I’ll show you where to go. I think Peter’s already put your overnight bag into the guest room.’
‘I was wondering where it was.’
Melissa noticed both she and Joss were being extra polite with each other, careful and particular, and trying desperately not to say anything personal.
They bumped into Peter in the hallway.
‘How are you holding up with the news about your mum? Everything all right?’ Joss asked the boy.
Peter shrugged in the nonchalant way teenagers did when they tried to pretend nothing was really bothering them. ‘Mum has to go to hospital. It happens. It means more chores for everyone, which none of us like—especially me, as most of them will become my responsibility.’
Joss chuckled. ‘Spoken like a true eldest child.’ He clapped the boy on the back. ‘You’ll do fine. I was just showing Melissa to her room.’
He nodded. ‘Bathroom’s directly opposite your room—the girls’ bathroom. Toby, Lee and I share the lower bathroom. Yolanda, Selena and Bridget share that one.’ He pointed up the hallway. ‘Mum and Dad get their own en suite.’ He sounded as though that wasn’t fair at all.
‘Hey. When I was at home, all eight of us had to share one bathroom. At least you have three in this house.’
Peter rolled his eyes. ‘I don’t even want to go there. Eight people? One bathroom?’ He shuddered. ‘Total torture. Anyway—night.’ He shuffled off down the hallway, and within the next instant they were left alone…again. Awkwardness filled the space between them as they both tried not to be so aware of each other.
Melissa jerked a thumb at the door behind her. ‘This is where I’m sleeping?’
‘Yes. Yes. That’s the spare room.’ Joss shoved his hands into his pockets, hoping at least this way he’d keep from hauling her into his arms and kissing her goodnight—which was exactly what he wanted to do.
‘And you’ll be on the sofabed?’ She edged back and reached for the door handle.
‘Yes. I’ve slept on it before. It’s quite comfortable.’
‘Good. Good.’
Silence.
Melissa racked her brain for something to say, but the more she searched the less she found. It was his nearness combined with his spicy scent which was turning her mind to mush. They were close, but not too close. Far, but not too far.
Indecision. Confusion. Stress. They were all making an appearance. Heat. Need. Desire. Combine everything together and it was no wonder the tension between them could have been sliced with a scalpel.
‘Well…’ Joss eased back, taking a step down the hallway—because it would be all too easy to simply step forward and press his lips to hers. ‘I guess I’ll go check on Gemma before I turn in.’
‘Oh, that’s OK. I can do it,’ Melissa offered quickly, eager for him to be down at the other end of the house before she tried to make sense of the emotions she was experiencing. ‘I’m closer—geographically speaking.’ She pointed to Gemma and Ron’s room, just up from her own. ‘You go get your bed set up.’
Joss shrugged. It was an out and he’d take it. ‘OK, then.’ Another step away. ‘I guess I’ll see you in the morning, then.’
‘I guess you will.’ Her eyes held his. Neither of them looked away. Both of them seemed to be speaking volumes, but nothing was actually said. It wouldn’t take much to step forward and press her lips to his once more, and when his gaze momentarily dipped to look at her own mouth she almost faltered. Leaning back, she flattened herself against the door, wanting him to go before she really lost control.
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‘All right. Sleep well.’
‘You too.’
Sighing, she watched him turn and walk down the hallway, back towards the living room. He had such a nice back, such a nice walk…such a nice butt. After another soulful sigh, she went into the spare room.
Her medical kit was on the bed beside her overnight bag, but she ignored it for a moment. She sat down, her whole body shaking slightly. The man was going to drive her to distraction if she wasn’t careful, so careful she must be. Focusing on work would most definitely help, and after she’d taken a few deep breaths, relaxing her tense muscles, Melissa gathered the items she would need for Gemma’s check-up and made her way back out to the hallway.
She knocked on the master bedroom door and heard Gemma call, ‘Come in.’
Melissa went in and was pleased to find Gemma in bed, lying on her side, surrounded by pillows.
‘It’s already taking me ages to find a comfortable position and I’m only in the middle of the pregnancy!’ Gemma complained, but not in a bad way.
Melissa smiled and knelt down beside her patient. ‘I just need to check you over once more, and then I’ll leave you in peace to get some sleep.’ Melissa wound the blood pressure cuff around Gemma’s arm and was pleased with the result. ‘It’s lower than before, so the rest is definitely doing the two of you good.’
Ron came into the bedroom from the en suite bathroom. ‘How’s my girl doing?’
‘Better than before.’ She listened to both Gemma’s heart and then the baby’s. Ron and Gemma shared a special moment as they too listened to the baby’s heartbeat.
‘It sounds so healthy.’
‘It’s good, but it’s still a little fast.’ Melissa knelt on the floor and started packing up her equipment as she spoke. ‘After we’ve run some tests it may turn out that what you need to do is rest for the remainder of your pregnancy. Now, I know that will be difficult—but it’s a must. It would be ideal for you to remain here, rather than being hospitalised—which is what we want to avoid. Separating you from your family for any extended period of time won’t be good for you, but if that’s what has to happen in the end, then—’