by Lucy Clark
It was much the same as Rajene had reported the day before, but this was the type of good news Melissa didn’t mind hearing again and again. ‘Good to hear. Thank you, Rajene.’
As she put the phone down, she reflected on her first full week in Didja. It had been mostly good, with the people of the community still continuing to welcome her. She’d visited the pub a few nights, but on others had preferred simply to unwind in her apartment.
On those nights she would lie on her bed beneath the ceiling fan, trying to get cool and pretending to read a book, whilst all the time she’d listen for noises coming from Joss’s apartment next door. She’d learned that his apartment was a mirror image of her own, which meant that their bedroom walls were a shared wall. It was strange to think that when she put her hand up to the wall he was on the other side. Sleeping. In his bed. Probably wearing next to nothing.
She closed her eyes, trying to school her thoughts. She was in the middle of a clinic and she was once more thinking about her boss. This wasn’t professional behaviour at all, and she knew she needed to conquer the emotions Joss continually evoked within her.
Melissa had been as jittery as a cat on a hot tin roof until Joss had arrived safely back in Didja after their house-calls. He’d come instantly to the hospital to check on Gemma, where Melissa had taken great pleasure in announcing the results of their patient’s tests. Afterwards he’d disappeared into his apartment, and she hadn’t seen him until the next day.
Neither had mentioned the kiss, even though the attraction they were working hard at ignoring was still definitely palpable between them. But they both had things to do and concentrate on, and that was exactly what they were doing.
Even yesterday, when Joss had given Melissa her medical check-up, he’d been the consummate professional. Bub had been present as he’d checked her blood pressure, listened to her chest, checked her eyes and taken a blood sample.
‘It’s all just for insurance purposes,’ he’d explained, before beginning.
‘I completely understand. Standard procedure when starting a new job in a medical environment,’ she’d replied, very aware that Bub was watching them very closely, no doubt picking up on the undercurrents which both doctors were working overtime at ignoring.
On the Friday two weeks after she’d been out on the house-calls with Joss—two weeks since he’d held her in his arms and kissed her so passionately—Melissa finished off her clinic and headed to her apartment.
She didn’t feel like going to the pub this evening. She knew Dex was going, but during her time here he’d been merely polite and professional, treating her like just another colleague and nothing more. She knew she shouldn’t feel hurt, but she did, and she couldn’t face going to the pub and having her brother ignore her yet again.
But that’s not the real reason, she told herself as she quickly did her dinner dishes and poured herself a relaxing glass of wine. She closed her eyes and gripped the kitchen counter with both hands as she admitted the real reason she didn’t feel like company tonight—because Joss had been out all day on house-calls and he still wasn’t back yet.
Of course Dex had initially been meant to go, and when she’d learned that Joss was doing them again she wondered whether he’d volunteered this time around. Perhaps it was simply easier for him to leave the clinic for a day and therefore not have to worry about running into her.
When she’d paid a quick visit to the hospital before leaving for the day, Bub had tut-tutted about ‘poor Joss’.
‘He’s not what he used to be. There’s something wrong with him. I can feel it.’
‘Do you think he’s sick?’ Melissa asked.
‘Not sick, but—oh, I don’t know. Out of sorts, I guess is the best way to describe him. He snapped at Areva last Monday, and he’s only been going to the pub on occasional nights. Incidentally,’ she said, eyeing Melissa closely, ‘he’s been going on the nights that you don’t. What is this? Tag team socialising? Only one of you can go at a time?’
‘I think you’ll find that Dex is usually there, so if Carto and Bluey decide to have another scrap there’s at least one doctor on hand.’
‘That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.’ Bub sighed and lowered her tone. ‘There’s something going on between you and Joss.’
‘No, there isn’t.’
‘OK. Let me rephrase that. There should be something going on between you and Joss. Even a blind man can see that you’re both—’
‘Don’t say it.’ Melissa held up her hand. ‘He’s a colleague. Nothing more. Dex is my brother. Nothing more.’ She tried not to choke on the words as she said them. ‘I’m learning to deal with those two facts, and right now I don’t particularly want to talk about it, if you don’t mind.’
Bub could see the strain on Melissa’s face and smiled in acquiescence. ‘Of course, darl. Go. Rest. Things will settle down eventually. You’ll see.’
‘I hope so, Bub.’ And so she’d left, and decided that for tonight relaxing in her apartment was a definite must. There was a nice cool breeze, and Melissa decided to sit outside to try and unwind. At the rear of their apartments was a communal courtyard, and she carried her wine glass out through the back door towards the outdoor setting. It was quiet and peaceful, and she placed her glass on the table and sat, sighing heavily as she looked up at the stars.
‘They’re much brighter in the Outback, don’t you think?’ Joss spoke from just behind her, and Melissa jumped at the sound of his voice. ‘Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.’ He walked over and sat in the chair opposite her.
‘You’re back!’
‘No. Actually, this is a holographic image I had made up weeks ago, designed to keep people away from my relaxing courtyard.’
‘Your relaxing courtyard?’
‘Dex rarely comes out here.’
‘So you’ve had it all to yourself for quite some time, then?’
‘I have, but…’ he pondered for a moment ‘…I guess I can share.’
‘Does that mean the holographic projection is about to end?’
Joss grinned at her, loving that they were on the same wavelength. She understood him. It was just one more thing that helped fuel the attraction he felt for her. They might not have spoken much in the past two weeks, they might have been playing a slight avoidance game with each other, but it hadn’t helped to change the way he thought about her—which was constantly.
He felt as though he was going around in circles and living in a perpetual state of confusion. Melissa was his colleague. She’d be here for quite some time. Tonight, instead of keeping his distance from her, he’d decided to seek her out and to hopefully try and come to a better arrangement than the avoidance one they were currently operating under. He had no idea what that arrangement might be, but it had to be better than where they both were at present.
‘Hopefully not,’ he replied.
‘So…how were house-calls?’
‘Good. Fine. Quite boring compared to the week we went out, actually. No emergencies. No pregnant women. No rampaging bulls.’
‘Do you mean to tell me that isn’t the usual way things run?’
He chuckled, and she allowed the sound to wash over her. He was definitely in a good mood and she wasn’t about to ignore that fact.
‘Today was lots of immunisations. Check-ups. That sort of thing.’
‘The usual?’
‘Basically, yes. How about you? Anything exciting happen in today’s clinic?’
Melissa thought for a second, mainly because she couldn’t get over how jittery she felt having him there, talking to her. She’d missed him, she realised. Missed just sitting and talking as they had out on Gemma’s verandah. But, whilst she was delighted he’d sought her out, she was still a little wary at why he had. Did he have something drastic he needed to impart? Was he simply trying to be nice? She’d just have to go along for the ride and see where it ended up.
‘Andy and James came in for their check-ups.’
‘Good to hear. Rich is a stickler for follow-up appointments. A lot of bosses don’t let their jackaroos have time off for follow-ups.’
‘Well, they were both here and are generally doing fine. James had popped a few stitches. Thankfully Mindy had come to the rescue with her expert bandaging, so there was no infection. I’ve sorted him out now.’
‘How did he pop his sutures?’
‘He was horse riding.’
Joss shook his head. ‘He would have been in trouble for that.’
‘Yes. He said that Rich tore strips off him.’
‘He’s a good boss. Firm. Has his head screwed on, does Rich.’
‘So you’ve said.’
‘Sorry. Didn’t mean to sound like a broken record.’
‘You don’t.’
‘And how have things been going with Dex?’
Melissa shrugged. ‘He’s polite and all, but that’s about it.’
‘He’s very slow. Takes a lot of time to process things.’
‘You’ve said that before as well. I’m starting to wonder whether it wasn’t a mistake, coming here.’
Joss felt as though she’d slapped him. He’d sought her out tonight in order to try and figure out a different way to deal with the attraction they felt. He’d hoped she was on the same page as him, wanting to move forward rather than to go around and around in circles, and now she was talking about leaving? He was stunned. ‘You want to leave?’
‘I don’t know.’ She shook her head and looked up at the stars. ‘I don’t know what I want any more. I’m confused.’
‘Well, you can’t leave,’ he bristled, still a little shocked to have heard her speak that way. Just as well he hadn’t come right out and confessed how she made him feel, because that would have been sacrificing himself yet again. ‘Aren’t you happy here?’
Melissa laughed without humour. ‘Joss, since I arrived my sedate, calm little life has been turned upside down and inside out.’
‘Dex will come around.’
‘I’m sure he will—but the question remains, do I need to be here when he does? I mean, I could leave, go work in Perth, write e-mails to him. When he’s finished processing, when he’s finished figuring things out, he could call me and then we could catch up. We wouldn’t be living in each other’s pockets.’
‘But you have a contract,’ he felt compelled to point out. He needed to stop all this talk of her leaving. She wasn’t leaving. She couldn’t leave. He needed her. Both for the clinic and for himself. However, there was no way he could tell her that. Not now.
‘I know, Joss. Relax. I’m just thinking out loud.’
‘So you’re not happy here? Is that what you’re saying?’
‘Remember when I told you I was trying to like myself, to figure out who I really am? Well, I’m still trying to do that—but between you and Dex the confusion side of things reigns quite high.’
He sat up a little straighter in his seat. ‘You’re confused about me?’
Melissa laughed again and shook her head. ‘What rock have you been living under?’
‘Oh.’ A dawning realisation crossed his face. ‘That type of confusion. Yeah, well, I’m right there alongside you when it comes to that type of confusion. We’ve both come from prior relationships that didn’t work out, and in my case things not only didn’t work out, I was completely betrayed. It’s difficult to recover from something like that.’ He took a deep breath. Maybe this was a good time to open up to her a little. He knew he needed to do it, and now was the perfect moment. ‘When we were with the Etheringtons I found it really easy to talk to you.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes. Some of the things you said—such as liking yourself and being able to forgive your birth mother—really hit home. So I guess it might be time for me to open up a little, to tell you more about myself. But this isn’t an easy thing for me to do.’
‘Are you sure you want to do it?’
If there was ever going to be anything real between them then Joss needed to tell Melissa about his past. About all of it. It would also be a test to see how exactly she would react to what he was about to say.
‘I am.’
‘OK. I’m all yours…er…I mean I’m ready to listen, Joss.’
‘Right.’ He took a few deep breaths before plunging in. ‘My fiancée, Christina, literally changed overnight, and I found myself facing a total stranger. I had no idea she was so deceptive, so dishonest, but apparently when things didn’t turn out the way she planned she decided jumping ship was a far easier option than trying to understand.’
‘Joss.’ She could feel how painful this was for him. ‘What on earth happened to make her not understand?’
‘I was accused of medical negligence.’
Melissa gasped in horror. ‘What?’
‘It went to trial.’
‘Oh, Joss.’ She clutched her hands together to try and quell her anxiety.
‘The patient who died was a man pretty high up in political circles so it was big news. The hospital offered me up as their sacrificial lamb.’
He had himself under control now and the matter-of-fact way he spoke made her wonder just how often he’d gone over this story in his head to make it sound so emotionless. Surely he had to be hurting, had to have some feeling towards it?
‘What a disgusting thing to do—although if it helps, I too have worked in hospitals that have corrupt administrators. They do exist.’
Joss nodded. ‘I lost all faith. I wanted to quit medicine completely.’
‘What stopped you?’
‘Dex. My family. They stood by me. Supported me.’
‘And Christina?’
He shook his head sadly. ‘She joined the slander campaign, went to the media and painted me as some sort of monster. I was called “Doctor Death”. Catchy, eh?’
Melissa’s heart was bleeding for him and she wanted him to stop. To stop talking. To stop remembering. To stop torturing himself.
She cared. Where Christina hadn’t, Melissa did. She’d passed his silly test with flying colours, and his heart had started to open up once more. It was just the two of them, the moon and the stars, and he could see the glistening stream made from a lone tear which had slid silently down her cheek.
‘Tears?’
‘I can’t believe what they did to you.’ Emotion choked her words.
Joss leaned over and tenderly brushed the tear away with his thumb.
‘You’re a remarkable woman, Lis,’ he whispered. ‘Thank you.’
‘For?’
‘Listening. Believing. Caring. You are so incredibly beautiful. Do you know that? Do you have any idea just how much you affect me?’ His words were soft as he came around the table to sit next to her. ‘I can’t help but watch you when you walk by. I find it difficult to concentrate when we’re in business meetings simply because the scent of your perfume is driving me wild. I’ve hardly slept because I’m too busy lying awake, thinking of you on the other side of that wall. Imagining what you look like in your bed, lying beneath the whirring of the ceiling fan.’
She gasped at his words, unable to believe how closely his thoughts of her mirrored the ones she’d been having of him. ‘Joss.’ His name was a breathless whisper on her lips.
He swallowed. ‘I like it when you wear your hair down, or just clipped back at the side as it is now. I like the way you relate to the patients. I like the way you listen so intently when someone is talking to you, focusing on them, making sure you don’t miss a single syllable of what they’re saying…just as you’re doing now.’
Her breathing was shallow, her heart was pounding wildly beneath her chest and her body was alive with heat and wonder simply because of what he was saying. His words were like an aphrodisiac, and it was definitely working on her.
‘I’ve missed you—and I’m not just talking about these past two weeks.’ He shook his head as though to clear his thoughts. ‘You’ve burst into my life. Until you came, I had no idea there
was anything missing. You won’t believe how many times I’ve wanted to just hold you, to drop a kiss to your lips, to see happiness light your eyes.’
Melissa could hardly breathe, but breathe she did as she met his gaze and urged him a little closer. ‘Kiss me, Joss.’
The words were a whispered command and one he seemed more than ready to follow as he brought his mouth to meet hers for the first time in weeks.
She sighed as the touch, the taste and the hope she’d been dreaming about flowed freely through her body. It was a strange feeling to have a sense of belonging, but that was exactly how she felt every time Joss kissed her.
She loved the way his mouth seemed to fit perfectly to her own and her heart soared. He was remarkable as a man. He’d been through so much and yet he’d continued on with his life. He’d opened himself up to her, had shared a deep and intimate part of his past and trusted her with it. That spoke volumes.
‘I feel so…alive,’ she whispered against his mouth, her breathing erratic.
At her words, the heat between them intensified. Where he’d been a little concerned that he might scare her off, she matched him—moment for moment, sensation for sensation. The sweet sunshine of her scent became absorbed by his senses, fusing itself into his soul. Her soft moan of delighted pleasure became lodged in his memory, and he had a sense of deep satisfaction knowing that he was the person who had brought forth that sound from within her. He affected her just as much as she affected him. The taste of her mouth beneath his, the feel of her lips opening to his, accepting his need, became something he knew he’d crave for the rest of eternity.
‘What do we do?’ he choked out as he put his hands on her shoulders and drew them both apart. They stared at each other as rational thought slowly began to return.
‘What do we do about…this?’ she clarified, and he nodded.
‘Yes. I mean, do we do anything about it at all? Do we go back to ignoring it?’ Now that he’d told her about Christina, now that she’d passed his test and he’d seen just how sympathetic and understanding she really was, Joss wanted to know more about her. He wanted to spend more time with her. It was as though she’d managed to unlock a part of him he’d kept locked up for too long, and it made him wonder whether he really did have the strength to take that step and move forward with his life…take a step towards Melissa.