by Melinda Metz
“But there’s still the ventilation system.”
“It’s really getting to you, huh? You look like hell. You better watch out. Lose your looks and Briony will kick you to the curb,” she teased.
“She’s only here for two more weeks,” he answered. He’d be glad when she was back in Wisconsin. Doesn’t matter if she’s here, he thought. He wasn’t going to see her again.
“You could always go visit her. You haven’t been on a vacation in, let’s see, ever. You may not think so, but we’ll get along without you. Amelia is great, and you have a great staff.” She reached around and patted herself on the back, then began loading the cake pans into the oven.
“It’s pointless.”
“I get that you haven’t known each other very long, but it might be worth it to see where things lead. You seem pretty interested in her to me,” LeeAnne commented.
“Look, I found out she was getting married before she came out here. Left the guy at the altar. Nice, right? Then she starts up something with me. Doesn’t bother to tell me anything.”
LeeAnne raised her eyebrows. “Well, it’s not like it’s something you say as soon as you meet someone,” she finally said.
“What about before you drag them into bed?”
“Drag?”
“Okay, we dragged each other. But don’t you think that she should have said something when it looked like that was going to happen?” Not that there’d been a lot of time. It had been like a forest fire between them. A spark, then whoosh, an inferno.
“It’s not like she was getting back together with him when she got home.”
“That’s not the point. What kind of person can get so close to marrying someone, then start something up practically right away? It’s like she doesn’t even have emotions.”
LeeAnne studied him a moment, then picked up one of the mixing bowls. “Want to lick the spoons? Personally, I always go for chocolate when I get my heart broken.”
“I didn’t get my heart broken,” Nate snapped.
In response, LeeAnne held out a spoon dripping with chocolate.
CHAPTER 14
Mac sat on the dresser, studying the man who lay in the bed where Briony had been sleeping. He smelled about the same as he had last night. He didn’t seem to need any kind of help. But he was a human, so that meant he probably did. Mac just needed a little more time to figure out what kind of help. The man, Caleb, was in his house. That meant he was Mac’s responsibility.
It was Diogee’s house, too, but the bonehead wouldn’t take any responsibility for Caleb. Even if he would, the bonehead was too much of a bonehead to be any help. And Mac preferred to work solo.
He felt something inside him go click. Breakfast time. Mac gave his wake-up meow, long and loud. He hoped this human was smart enough to operate a can opener.
* * *
Briony leaned toward the bathroom mirror, bracing both hands on the sink. She stared herself in the eye. “You can do this,” she whispered. “You’ve got to do this.”
There was a tap on the door. “You okay?” Ruby called.
“Yes.” She gave herself a nod, then pushed herself away from the sink. “Yes.” She opened the door. “Do I look okay?” she asked. Not that it mattered. What she found to say to Caleb was the important thing, not how she looked.
“You look great. I got every wrinkle out of your dress,” Ruby answered. “Now, what shape do you want your pancakes in?” She rubbed her hands in exaggerated enthusiasm. “Anything. I love a challenge.”
“I can’t.” Briony pressed her hands against her stomach. “All the space is filled with butterflies. Actually, more like giant mosquitos.”
“You’re going to be fine. And you’re going to feel so much better once you’ve put the conversation behind you,” Ruby promised.
“Which one?” Briony asked.
“Both.” Ruby walked her to the door. “Let me know what happens. I’m around today. I just have a conference call with the director and the costumer in about an hour.”
“I’ll let you know for sure. Okay, here I go. . . .”
“You know you didn’t move.”
“I know.” Briony pulled in a deep breath—at least she wasn’t panting, at least not yet—and stepped outside. It was a gorgeous day, the sky a bright, clear blue. Someone was mowing, and the air had that wonderful freshly cut grass smell. But it could have been gray and raining as far as Briony was concerned. She wouldn’t be able to enjoy anything until she did what she had to do.
She straightened her shoulders and raised her chin. She’d heard somewhere giving the impression of confidence could make you start to feel confidence. She strode toward home, as those mosquitos she’d been feeling dug their needle mouths into her stomach lining.
When she reached the front door, she wondered if she should knock. It was her place, well, her cousin’s place, but it seemed rude to walk in without giving Caleb any notice. She settled for knocking, then letting herself in. “Caleb? It’s me.” Her voice came out with a tiny quaver, but not too bad.
“In the kitchen.”
The smell of cat food hit her as soon as she entered the room. At a glance, it looked like there were at least five open cans on the counter. Mac was at his bowl, purring as he ate.
“You didn’t give him all that, did you?” she exclaimed, startled out of starting the speech she’d prepared.
“He wouldn’t eat the first two I tried,” Caleb said, exasperated. “But then I found one he liked. It took a few cans to fill up the bowl.”
“He’s only supposed to get one.”
“That’s not what he told me.” He shook his head at the cat, then turned to Briony. “How much is the dog supposed to get?”
“Never mind. You fed them. That’s the important thing,” Briony answered. “Do you want to go out and get some breakfast?” She’d done some strategizing and thought this discussion might go more smoothly in public. Not that Caleb would yell or anything. That was so not Caleb. But maybe she’d keep it together better if there were people around.
Or maybe she’d have a full-blown panic attack.
But ordering and eating would give them something to do besides look at each other. She didn’t know if she could tell Caleb everything she needed to without a little distraction.
Like a full-blown panic attack.
Stop thinking about panic attacks, she ordered herself. Not helping.
“Actually, I made a frittata. It’s been warming in the oven. I hope it’s okay that I used things from the fridge.”
She left him at the altar and he was worried about using her groceries. He was a much better person than she was. Although right now it felt like everyone, except maybe a few people in prison, was a much better person than she was.
Mac rose up on his back legs and gave a pathetic mew. “See. He’s doing it again.”
“No way, mister,” she told the cat. “Kitchen’s closed.”
Mac lowered himself to the floor, then began grooming himself, pretending he hadn’t just been begging.
“Of course it’s fine that you used anything you found,” she told Caleb, wishing Mac would act up a little more, giving her more reason to stall. “I hope you ate something last night.”
“I had a protein bar.”
Briony nodded. Caleb always had a protein bar on him in case his blood sugar dropped. He always had one for her, too, a chocolate walnut fudge LUNA bar, her favorite.
“Should I take out the frittata?” he asked.
Suddenly, Briony didn’t want to stall anymore. She wanted to get this over with. She could feel her heart starting to rev up. She sat down at the table. “Let’s wait a little. I owe you an explanation for what happened.”
Caleb sat down across from her, and as much as she wanted to get through this, the words she’d planned evaporated from her head. “Whatever it is, you know I’ll understand,” he prompted.
His words shook something loose. “That’s the problem. You always underst
and. It’s so one-sided. You always support me in everything. You don’t care if I ask you every single day what shoes to wear or what to order when we go to the same place we always go. But you never need anything from me.” None of that had been what she’d planned to tell him, but she realized it was how she felt.
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t need you.”
That made her stop and think. He was here. He didn’t have to be. She raised one finger to her mouth and started nibbling on her cuticle.
He tugged her hand away. “Hey, I thought we stopped that with the self-hypnosis app I found.”
It was true. He’d helped her break that habit. “Maybe you do need me,” she answered, her thoughts slowly coalescing. “The thing is, I think maybe what you need is for me to need you.”
“You think I want you to be weak?” He sounded appalled.
“No!” she said quickly. “No. You’re not that kind of man. At all.” She struggled to find a way to explain it. “What you are is a knight in shining armor. But to be a knight, you need a damsel in distress. And you know me, I am in all kinds of distress most of the time.”
“You shouldn’t feel that way about yourself,” he protested.
“It’s true, though. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since I got out here, and I realized that I never make decisions by myself. I’m always looking for reassurance that I’m making the right choice. Somehow, I don’t feel like I can handle much of anything by myself.” She didn’t bring up her parents. No matter how they’d made her feel as a kid, how she behaved as an adult was her responsibility. “But I don’t want to be that way anymore,” she added.
“You’re saying that you don’t think I’d want to be with you if you were more confident?” Caleb asked.
It sounded horrible. Suddenly, she felt confused. She’d felt so sure she didn’t want to be with him. She’d felt so sure he was perfect, but not perfect for her, like Ruby’s dress. What if she’d had a panic attack because getting married was the hugest decision of her life and she couldn’t deal with it, even with Caleb? She’d been with him for a little more than three years. What was she thinking?
“Is that what you’re saying?” Caleb pressed.
“No. I don’t know.” She felt herself falling into what she always called her dithering. She made a conscious effort to stop. “I guess it’s hard for me to imagine what we’d be like if I was different.”
“Why don’t we see? Don’t you think we deserve that?” he asked.
She didn’t answer. She didn’t know what to say. It seemed reasonable, but the thought was making things go a little wobbly around her.
“How about this?” he continued. “I still have some time off.” He didn’t say “for our honeymoon,” but they both knew that was why. “Let’s have a vacation together out here.”
Something inside her pushed back against the suggestion. She wanted him to go home. She wanted to spend the time she had left here with Nate.
But that was impossible. And even if it wasn’t, Caleb was making a reasonable request. She did owe him something. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe things would be so much better for them as a couple if she didn’t expect him to make all the decisions. “Okay.”
Caleb smiled, the crinkles at the sides of his eyes deepening. She loved those crinkles. But it still felt like there was something hard inside her, resisting the idea. “I don’t want to jump right back into where we were before, though. I can’t. I need to take it slow. You can stay here, but we have separate rooms.”
“That feels like we’re moving backward.”
“It isn’t. I left you at the altar, remember?”
“I’m not going to ever forget that.”
She’d hurt him. She had to remember that. This wasn’t all about her.
“What I mean is that we’re moving forward from that. I broke it off, so spending time together is moving forward. I need time to figure things out, Caleb.”
“All right. Agreed,” he answered.
“First I need to do something. Alone.”
He raised his eyebrows but didn’t ask what it was. This wasn’t the way to start. If they were going to do this, she couldn’t start with a lie, even an unspoken one, between them. “I need to talk to Nate, the man you saw me with last night. And you need to know that the two of us have . . . been together. Which might change how you feel.”
And now she’d hurt him again. She could see it in the way the muscles in his jaw tightened.
“People do strange things when they’re under stress,” Caleb said. “You were still planning to go back to Wisconsin when your cousin came home, weren’t you?” Briony nodded. “So, this wasn’t a serious thing. It was a, let’s call it a fling. A distraction after what happened.”
A fling. Something short. Something wild. Maybe that’s all it had been. Something that never could have held together.
Relief flooded her. She’d needed to tell him the truth. “I feel so bad about what happened at the church. And about the other night. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m so, so sorry. That’s the first thing I should have told you,” she said in a rush.
“Let’s put it behind us. Go do what you need to do,” Caleb told her. “Maybe I’ll take the dog for a walk.”
Diogee galloped into the room. He spun around, ran back out, then returned with his leash in his mouth. “Make that I’ll definitely take the dog for a walk.”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
He’d been so understanding. He really was perfect.
Except if you really loved someone, should you understand her sleeping with someone else? Without even a day or two of completely hating her?
* * *
The sound of his cell playing “Coconut” woke Nate. He sat up, his stomach slowly turning over. He grabbed the phone and checked the time. Almost one. In the afternoon. He never slept this late. He’d slept through his alarm. He never slept through his alarm. He also never drank seven—Was it seven? Or had he stopped counting at seven?—beers in one night.
“Coconut” continued to play. And Nate’s sluggish brain made the connection. “Coconut.” That ring belonged to Yesenia, one of the nurse practitioners. What now? What had happened while he’d been sleeping it off?
“Where have you been?” Yesenia demanded before he even said hello. Something had to be very wrong or she’d never use that tone. “I think we have an outbreak of food poisoning. I’ve had eight people coming to me with abdominal cramps, vomiting, and diarrhea in the last hour. All of them ate brunch in the dining room.”
Nate’s tongue felt like it had been glued to the roof of his mouth. “On it,” he managed to say. Then he hung up and jammed his fingers into his forehead, trying to force his brain to function. He needed to check on all the residents. He also needed to assess what everyone had eaten to trace what food was responsible. That meant he needed manpower. He sent out a group text to the entire staff, asking anyone who was available to come in.
He threw on his clothes from the day before, then went directly to the medicine cabinet. He took two aspirin and slurped up some water from the sink. As he straightened up, he felt like someone was taking a nail gun to his brain. He downed four more aspirin, then rolled on some deodorant and swished his mouth with Listerine, hoping that would deal with beer sweat and beer breath.
After he used his fingers to comb his hair, he hurried to the door. He reached for his keys. They weren’t on the hook. What had he done with them? He needed to get out of there. He searched his small house. Twice. Then he realized the keys were in his pocket.
He also realized dealing with an emergency in the clothes he’d thrown on the floor last night wasn’t the way to go. He wanted to get to The Gardens, but if he was going to get everyone through the latest crisis he needed to present himself as competent and in control. He changed into a suit as fast as he could.
At least he lived close to work. In twenty minutes, he was standing in the screening room with most of the staff sitting in fro
nt of him. Several who had the weekend off were already there, and he’d had texts from most of the others saying they were on their way.
“Like I said in the text, we may have an outbreak of food poisoning on our hands,” Nate told them. “In any case, an unusual number of the residents have reported symptoms. What I want is—”
LeeAnne burst in. “No one has ever gotten sick from my food. No one!”
He’d need to talk her down. He turned to Amelia. She’d been waiting for him in the parking lot to give him an update, and they’d come up with a plan. “Get everyone divided up to go door-to-door like we talked about. We’ll meet back here to exchange information.”
Yesenia stood as Nate walked toward LeeAnne. “You should all know that especially for the older residents, this could be very serious,” she told the group. “For one thing, we have to worry about dehydration.”
“There are cases of bottled water in the kitchen. I’ll bring them out here. Load up before you go,” LeeAnne barked, rallying. “I’ll get some bags, too.”
“Anything else they should bring?” Nate asked the nurse practitioner.
The door opened again, and Briony stepped inside. Just what he needed.
“Not yet. I want to see anyone with symptoms, so get me that info as soon as possible,” Yesenia answered. “If there are people who don’t think they can keep down water, give them ice chips.”
“Okay, I have The Gardens divided into quadrants. Line up and I’ll give you your assignments!” Amelia called.
Nate walked over to Briony. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk. I—”
He cut her off. “I don’t have time for you.”
CHAPTER 15
Briony spotted Hope near the end of the line of people. She joined her. “Can you tell me what’s going on? I came by to see Nate, and there was this.” She waved her hands, trying to encompass all the people. She’d been so focused on Nate when she’d walked in, she hadn’t registered what he’d been saying.