“I’ll bet he didn’t like that one little bit,” said Kidd.
“Four thousand little bits, actually.” Captain Clockheart strode over to the main mast, which had the latest “Wanted” poster nailed to it. He tore it off and handed it to Kidd.
Kidd whistled, clearly impressed. “A four-thousand pound reward. That’s a lot of money.”
Captain Clockheart smiled proudly. “Aye, and we’re worth every penny. Now, if you’re going for a swim, you’d better get on with it. That old rascal Inkybeard will be back soon and then it’ll be time to chase this monster.”
“Aye aye, Captain.” Kidd jumped up on to the barrier and stood on his tiptoes. As he dived he performed a fancy mid-air somersault for the amusement of the crew, who applauded, cheered and sang along to Blower’s tune:
Pendle hadn’t spotted a single friendly face among Inkybeard’s crew since she had boarded. They were an ugly bunch of charmless thugs who mostly spoke in low, grunting voices. When she tried to listen in on what they were talking about, they fell silent and stared at her until she walked away.
Since the pirates didn’t introduce themselves, Pendle invented her own names for them, such as Scar Face, Broken Nose and Stinky Breath. When the pirate in the crow’s nest spotted a merchant ship, it was Stinky Breath who led the attack.
The battle was brief and brutal and, by the time they were finished, the merchant ship was in a terrible state, with its sails torn, masts snapped and half of its crew splashing about in the water. As soon as the looted goods were secured in the hold, the navigator plotted a course for Rotten Apple Harbour, just as they had planned.
Pendle spent most of her time tucked away in the corner of the sleeping quarters, fiddling with her latest clockwork invention, which looked like a small silver egg.
She used a pair of tweezers to make a couple of adjustments, then split the egg in two, listening to every tick and click, as a doctor might listen to a patient’s heartbeat.3 She placed one half of the egg on her hammock and walked to the far end of the dorm with the other. As she moved further away, the ticking slowed down and an arrow on top twizzled around.
“It works,” she whispered. “It actually works.”
Hearing approaching voices, Pendle grabbed the other half of the egg and took cover under a nearby hammock. Two pairs of feet entered – one with huge purple bunions, the other with extremely hairy toes.
“What’s that ticking sound?” said Bunions.
Pendle connected the two halves of the egg and the ticking stopped.
“I can’t hear no ticking,” replied Hairy Toes. “So are we going to take control of the ship yet?”
“Soon enough,” said Bunions. “Soon enough.”
Hairy Toes sat on the hammock above Pendle. “Let’s do it now.”
“No, not yet! We’re supposed to wait until we reach Rotten Apple Harbour.”
“Why?” Hairy Toes reached down and scratched his right foot, sending flaky bits of skin fluttering to the floor.
“Because it’s part of the plan,” said Bunions.
“Whose plan? It’s not my plan.” Hairy Toes scratched his left foot. Several small insects scuttled out and disappeared into the cracks in the floorboards.
“It’s Master Kidd’s plan. He said Inkybeard will set fire to the ship as soon as he hears the word mutiny. That’s why we’ll be feeding him to the monster before he gets the chance.”
“Oh yeah, right.” Hairy Toes chuckled. “Good one.” He picked out a lump of dried meat from between his toes.
“You know that’s disgusting, don’t you?” said Bunions.
“It’s only a bit of breakfast from this morning,” said Hairy Toes. “Whoops.”
The piece of meat slipped through his fat fingers and landed on the ground.
“You’re not still going to eat that, are you?” Bunions asked.
“Waste not, want not.” Hairy Toes reached to pick it up but his fingers connected with Pendle. He closed his hand around Pendle’s wrist. “What have we here then?” He dragged her out from under the hammock.
“Been spying, have you, lad?” said Bunions. “About to run off and tell Inkybeard what you heard, were you?”
“Er, I… No…”
“Let’s see how much spying you can do from the inside of a barrel!”
Pendle struggled, punched and kicked, but the men were much stronger than her. She didn’t stand a chance.
3 Impatient readers keen to know what this device does can turn to page 90. But be warned, if you do so, you will miss some very exciting stuff on pages 81–86.
Pendle’s cries for help went unheard or ignored and finally she gave up trying and sat in the barrel waiting for something to happen. Eventually she heard the rattle of the anchor being lowered, the shouts of the angry crew and the protests of Inkybeard as he was thrown into the cabin with her.
“Argh, now this ain’t right, is it, my love?” Inkybeard pounded on the door with his fists. “My own crew turning mutinous, after all we’ve done for them. Oh well, time to warm ourselves up with a nice little fire, wouldn’t you say, Nell?”
“Inkybeard!” Pendle banged on the barrel.
“Who’s that?” said Inkybeard. “Who’s in here?”
“It’s me … Pendle. I’m in the barrel!”
“Ah, taking a kip in a barrel, eh? Lovely. Old Inkybeard has spent many a pleasant afternoon snoozing in a barrel.”
“I didn’t climb in here on purpose.”
“Oh, in that case you’ll need a hand.” Inkybeard prised off the lid and Pendle climbed out. In the centre of the cabin she saw a large wooden chest.
“Thank you,” she said.
“Our pleasure. Now, where did old Inkybeard put that match?” He patted down his pockets.
“Inkybeard, look where we are! That’s the treasure we stole for bait. They’re going to feed us to the monster.”
“Nonsense. This crew may be a vile bunch of villainous vipers but… Hold on, what was that noise?”
The octopus tightened its grip on his head, as they heard what sounded like wood being cut.
“Easy now, Nell,” said Inkybeard.
They looked over to where the noise was coming from and saw a circular hole appearing. A small spinning blade was cutting the wood.
“It be the slippery sea monster come to take its treasure.” Inkybeard ran to the door and rattled the handle. “Come on, lads! Fair’s fair,” he yelled desperately. “Let us out now.”
But the crew was noisily celebrating a successful mutiny and couldn’t hear him.
Pendle was unable to tear her eyes away from the hole being cut in the side of the ship. As she watched, a circle of wood the size of a tabletop dropped out. Through the hole in the ship, she could see that the spinning blade was attached to a long silvery tentacle that glinted in the sunlight.
A second tentacle entered the cabin. This one didn’t have a spinning blade, but was feeling its way around the side of the room – almost as though it was trying to find something.
While Inkybeard continued to pound his fists on the door, Pendle walked calmly over to the hole and looked down at the ocean. Bubbles rose up, but the rest of the monster was hidden beneath the waves.
“This creature will devour us all,” exclaimed Inkybeard.
“Inkybeard, stop panicking. There’s more to this than meets the eye,” Pendle said, noticing her own reflection in one of the monster’s scales. She quickly grabbed a candlestick from the stolen treasure and used it to tap the tentacle.
TINK! TINK! TINK!
“How interesting,” she said. “I think it’s made of metal.”
Pendle turned round and looked on in horror as the second tentacle grabbed Inkybeard’s boot.
“Get off me, you beast,” he protested, as the tentacle wrapped itself around his leg. Inkybeard whacked it with his cutlass but the creature tugged and dragged him off his feet. “Nell, if this is your mother again…”
Inkybeard clawed at the flo
orboards as the tentacle dragged him along the cabin floor and out through the hole, suspending him upside down over the ocean. Below him, the water swirled and foamed.
“Nell, save yourself! It looks like this be the end of the road for old Inkybeard. We only hope we’re remembered – perhaps in a song, a poem … or as a beloved character in an exciting children’s book.”
Whether or not the octopus understood, Nell didn’t do as she was told. She clung on to Inkybeard’s head.
“The sea monster’s creating a whirpool!” said Pendle. “Inkybeard, don’t panic. It’s going to drag you straight down. I think you’ll be all right.”
“Being sucked into a monster’s mouth don’t sound all right to old Inkybeard.”
“Here, catch this.” Pendle pulled out the clockwork egg device, snapped it in two and threw one half to Inkybeard.
He grabbed hold of it. “What is it?”
“It will help us locate you.”
“We fail to see what use that’ll be if we’ve been eaten by a sea monster.”
“Whatever is about to eat you, it’s no monster.”
“No monster? Then what is it?”
Before Pendle could answer, the tentacle released Inkybeard, dropping him into the whirlpool. Inkybeard vanished from sight in an instant, followed by the tentacles.
Pendle stared down at the bubbles coming up from the submerged monster.
“Time for a spot of monster hunting then?” said a gruff voice as a shadow fell over Pendle. She looked up through the hole in the side of Inkybeard’s ship to see Captain Clockheart standing on the deck of the Leaky Battery.
Gadge fired a grappling hook at the hole in the side of Inkybeard’s ship so that Pendle could climb across. Inkybeard’s mutinous crew threw sponges, buckets and mop handles, trying to knock her off the rope, but she moved quickly and was soon safely back on the Leaky Battery.
“They’ve taken our cabin boy,” yelled Scar Face.
“Who cares?” said Broken Nose. “We’ve still got our treasure.”
“I say we capture the Steampunk Pirates and collect that reward,” shouted Stinky Breath.
“You’ll have to catch us first!” replied Gadge. “And that might be a problem with a hole in your hull.” Gadge steered the Leaky Battery away, leaving the other ship stranded until the repairs were done.
“Welcome back, Pendle,” said Captain Clockheart. “Poor old Inkybeard, eh? Eaten by a sea monster.”
“That was no monster,” said Pendle.
“Not a monster?” said Gadge. “But it’s got tentacles! And didn’t you see the bubbles it was making. What more proof do you want?”
“The tentacle that grabbed Inkybeard was made of metal, and the bubbles are more likely produced by an underwater ship – probably using some kind of steam-powered propeller system.”
“An underwater ship?” Lexi’s word-wheel turned and clicked. “I can find no record of anything of the sort.”
“Maybe young Master Kidd has heard of one,” said Gadge.
“Yes, where is he?” asked Pendle. “I’ve got a feeling he’s more involved in this than he’s letting on. He told the crew to feed Inkybeard to the monster.”
“I’ve not seen him since he went for that swim,” said Lexi.
“Yo ho, down below!” cried Blower. “We’ve lost the monster’s trail. It’s too fast for us.”
“Oh well,” said Lexi. “That’s that then.”
“Steampunk Pirates don’t give up so easily,” said Captain Clockheart.
“Exactly,” said Pendle. She pulled out the other half of the silver egg.
“Eggs for breakfast!” said Twitter. “Eggs for breakfast!”
“It’s not a real egg,” said Pendle.
“Then what is it, lad?” asked Captain Clockheart.
“This is a long-range magnetic tracking device that will help us catch whatever – or whoever – took Inkybeard.”4
Captain Clockheart inspected it and held it up to his ear. “It’s ticking.” “Yes. Inkybeard has the other half. The closer it gets, the faster this ticks. And that compass there shows us the direction we need to travel.”
Captain Clockheart nodded thoughtfully. “I see,” he said. “Yes. So how does it work?”
“Er … I just told you.”
“Don’t worry, I understand,” said Lexi. “Now the monster has Inkybeard, we can use this device to follow them, even when they’re out of sight.”
“Exactly,” said Pendle. “Except it’s not a monster.”
“Hold on.” Captain Clockheart scratched his head. “You’re saying that the monster is not a monster and this egg is not an egg.”
“That’s right,” said Pendle. “And I strongly suspect that Kidd the cabin boy is not a cabin boy.”
“So am I still me?” asked Captain Clockheart.
“Of course.”
“That’s a relief.”
“What about the lair?” said Gadge. “Is that real?”
“All the treasure must be stashed somewhere,” said Pendle.
“So you mean we can still get our loot back?” said Captain Clockheart. “Ah, then I say let us use this egg that’s not an egg to follow this monster that’s not a monster to find the cabin boy who’s not a cabin boy and get the gold … which had better be gold or it’ll have me to answer to!”
4 Impatient readers who just turned to this page are advised to go back and continue reading the story from where you left off.
The inside of the monster was not as Inkybeard had imagined. There were dials, buttons and levers. There were leather seats and portholes around a dome-like cockpit.
Kidd was sitting back with his feet up on the control panel. Gas lamps hung in front of two round windows with tinted red glass.
“The Dread Captain Inkybeard. How kind of you to drop in,” Kidd said with a smile.
“Easy now, Nell.” Inkybeard patted his octopus. “It’s not the end of our story yet.”
“Your end will come soon enough,” said Kidd.
“But what are you doing here, Master Kidd? What is the meaning of this? Where are we?”
Kidd chuckled. “We are presently four leagues down and travelling deeper, at a rate of five knots. This is a steam-powered, pressurized underwater vessel with the appearance of a sea monster on the outside but all the comforts of a ship on the inside. It’s quite a prank, wouldn’t you agree? To think, all those pirate ships robbed by me, the ever-so-humble Captain Kidd.”
“We’re having trouble following you, ain’t we, girl?” Inkybeard looked up at Nell. She moved her tentacles in what looked like a shrug.
“I can see that you would like a lengthy explanation and, indeed, mine is a story filled with much drama and many twists. Please, have a seat.”
Inkybeard sat down in front of a porthole and noticed a huge shark swimming alongside the craft.
“Worry not,” said Kidd. “The glass makes everything outside seem bigger. It’s an illusion, just like the slippery sea monster itself. I’m good at stories, you see. Shall I tell you mine? It begins like this. My name is Charles Kidd. I was born into wealth and sent to the finest school in England, where I proved to be a first-rate student. I would probably have become a great Prime Minister, a renowned scientist or an esteemed author. Tragically, though, tragedy struck. My father was travelling from America to England, carrying with him his entire fortune, when his ship was attacked by pirates. They robbed me of my father and my family fortune.”
“Pirates,” sighed Inkybeard. “What can you do?”
“I was forced to leave school and take a job on a merchant ship, but that too was attacked.”
“Pirates again?” said Inkybeard with a knowing nod.
“Yes. It was then that I realized the only way to recover my father’s fortune and to succeed in this world would be to become a pirate myself. Except I would do things differently. I wouldn’t steal from the innocent and the honest. I would take only from pirates.”
“A pir
ate who steals from pirates. We knew we liked your style, didn’t we, Nell?”
The octopus on Inkybeard’s head blinked.
“I won’t bore you with the details of how I made such an impressive underwater craft,” continued Kidd.
“But why did you become a cabin boy if you have such a ship?” Inkybeard asked.
“All this time that I’ve been robbing ships, I have been scouring the oceans for the villain who sunk my father’s ship and took my fortune.”
Inkybeard adjusted one of Nell’s tentacles nervously. “How you getting on with that then?”
“It took me many months to piece together the facts, but I eventually learned that the raid on my father’s ship was the first appearance of a pirate with an inky black beard and a sea creature on his head. Now, tell me, do you know anyone who fits that description?”
“Ah, I see,” said Inkybeard. “And may I ask why you’ve been hunting this pirate?”
“Revenge, of course,” replied Kidd, with a winning smile. “Revenge.”
The Steampunk Pirates were in pursuit of the sea monster, but First Mate Mainspring had finally achieved his personal ambition of becoming captain of something. Unfortunately for him, he was captain of a small island with nothing more than a tree, a rock, some sand and a number of fallen coconuts. None of these inhabitants was able to help Mainspring wind up his key. He was hot and his clockwork was running extremely slowly. As a consequence, his mind was playing tricks on him.
“Cuh-cuh-cuh-click, now, Mr Tree, this is not going to work out.
Tuh-tuh-tuh-tick, if I’m the … only one putting any effort in. Tuh-tuh-tuh-tock, you’re too lazy. That’s your problem.”
“What do you expect? He is a tree,” said a fallen coconut.
“Cuh-cuh-cuh-click, you keep out of it, Mr Coconut.”
“How dare you? Mr, indeed. I’m Mrs Coconut. Mr Coconut is my husband. He’s over there talking to Father Rock.”
Rise of the Slippery Sea Monster Page 3