by Dani Hoots
Eventually, I moved in with my aunt and uncle, who became my step-parents and took pity on me, but they were brutally murdered by some thieves in the middle of the night. It was one tragedy after another for me, as other friends and loved ones around me died as well. Even my fiancé had been killed in a carriage accident. No one was safe. Each of their deaths haunted my dreams, as did the extreme bloodshed I witnessed during battle. But tomorrow would be different, tomorrow I would be fighting for God and repenting for whatever I had done to make my life cursed since the day I was born.
Three other men had taken our spot for watch duty for the remainder of the night and the three of us went back to our designated tents to get rest before the big day tomorrow. Personally, I couldn’t sleep before a whole day of battle. All I wanted to do was sleep but my heart would keep racing, making it nearly impossible for me to settle down enough to surrender to sleep. I should just tell someone that and have watch duty all night, but I was afraid they wouldn’t want me fighting without rest, so I would just lie in my tent and stare up at the fabric. At least when I ran into battle, my energy would rise and my anxiety would vanish entirely.
Flashes of all the other gory battles flashed in front of my eyes. I wasn’t one who hadn’t experienced loss, as I had it plague my life from the start, but it was still hard knowing that tomorrow could end poorly for us. I prayed to the Lord that it wouldn’t, that we would be victorious. We would slay the evil that had gained control of this land and bring it back to those who rightfully should possess it: the Kingdom of England.
Although there were many countries battling with us against the Sunni, including the Kingdom of France, the Holy Roman Empire, the Kingdom of Hungary, and a few others, I truly believed that this land was for us. King Richard had fought so hard, in so many battles. This fight was important to him and he needed to win not only for his country, but for the Lord Himself. I was proud to call him my King, and I would fight for him until the day I died, which, I realized, could be much sooner than later.
During cold nights like this, I missed the warmth of my fiancé. Sometimes, when I am almost asleep, I can feel her arms wrap around me. I believed that it was her reaching down from Heaven, making sure I was alright. It had been years since I had her next to me, but sometimes it felt like it was just yesterday, and the hard realization would kick in. She is gone.
All the friends I had lost would also visit my mind the night before a battle. I could remember each and every face that I had lost through those countless reams of bloody battles. Who would be next? I dreaded contemplating that thought any further. Would it be me? Only time would tell, as that woman had cryptically whispered before to me. That time was getting shorter and shorter, especially as the sun began to peak its face above the horizon.
It was time for battle.
Morning came and all of the camp was awake and getting ready for the battle. It seemed silent as we each grabbed our things, packed our horses and camels, and readied our weapons. Not only did I have a sword, I was also pretty handy with a bow and arrow. I had been making arrows for the past few days, making sure I would have enough to take down our enemy. There would never be enough for every single one I sought to take down, though.
King Richard was talking with his second-in-command, a map sprawled out on the ground before them, as they discussed the remainder of the tactics we would be using in the coming battle. I watched him, his shaggy brown hair a mess, very un-king-like if he were back in England, but for now he was at battle and appearance didn’t matter, so much as the need to be strong for all his soldiers. His beard was also scruffy, but he wore his red armor with the gold rampant lion on it. His sword and armor were some of the finest ever made and as he rode into battle, he seemed like an angel sent down from Heaven itself.
I listened carefully to the details of the battle plan, as he talked intently about it to his second-in-command. Line up and conquer is what always seemed to be the drill of choice, but they needed to know from which angle we would need to attack. Jerusalem was surrounded by a wall and the enemy would have men stationed high on that wall, which was to their advantage. Along with a few others, I would have to try and take those men on the walls out with arrows first. The men situated in front of us would then stand with shields outstretched in front of them, holding off any incoming arrows from the enemy archers.
“Men,” King Richard stood tall, since he was over six foot it wasn’t hard for him, and called out to each and every one of us. “We must attack from the southwest of the city. There, I believe, will be the weakest point they have. It will be to our advantage. Follow the man in front of you and listen for orders carefully! Let us bring back the city of God!”
The men cheered. Although many citizens in England didn’t like the King due to his lack of presence in the country, they didn’t see him when he was a magnetic, proud military leader like he was at this exact moment. This is where he truly belonged, where he could really make a difference. I would follow him through everything, I knew, because he made you believe in him. He made you ponder the purpose of your life for a moment and realize that there was more to life than just working to vanquish the evil in this world. There was something worth fighting for and we had to bring the goodness back into the world, even if it was only one little bit at a time.
After the cheering died down, Jonathan and Matthew strode over to where I was packing up.
“Are you ready for this?” Matthew asked.
I nodded. “As ready as I will ever be. You two have your arrows ready as well?”
Jonathan held up the arrows he fletched. “Of course. What do you think we were going to do, ride into battle unprepared? Typical, having no faith in me whatsoever.”
Matthew rolled his eyes. “Enough with the sarcastic drama. This is a day of war, we can’t be joking around. We must keep a clear mind and listen to our orders.”
Jonathan pushed him. “Such a worrier. Relax, can’t you see that God is smiling on us today? Everything will go smoothly.”
“Easy for such a young man to say. You haven’t been in as many battles as I have. It is serious and we could lose our lives.”
“But I am the best, so there is nothing to worry about,” Jonathan beamed.
I laughed as I watched them bicker some more. I thought I had agreed with them thinking that God was smiling on us that day, but then I looked up. Dark clouds were coming in mighty fast, a chilling wind soaring in like an angel with an urgent message from heaven. Thunder roared, echoing through the land. Everyone in the camp went silent.
“Well,” Matthew whispered. “That was sudden. Almost feel like I’m back home now. That wind is awfully cold. What happened to that sun that had been shining? The clouds are so dark that it feels like it’s night now.”
Jonathan shook his head. “I don’t know what happened... How is this even possible?”
I watched as many of the other men about me began to ask themselves the same question. How could such a storm have arisen from nowhere? Then it hit me. Could it have been that woman? Could that she-devil have something to do with all of this?
“We must not worry,” I said as I put my sword on my side and grabbed my bow. “It is just another test to make sure we are worthy. And we are, are we not?”
Jonathan and Matthew thought about the question for a moment, then smiled and nodded in agreement.
“Then let us follow our King into battle and we will come out victorious. We have no time to waste.”
The army rode towards the city. None of the Sunni came to greet us with swords. They all had hidden inside the city. The storm had picked up more, and I prayed that the weather would let up, but we had no such luck. The wind became stronger and colder, feeling as if a sheet of ice was hitting my body with every step I took. My fingers and toes felt as if they were slowly going numb, and I feared that I wouldn’t be able to use my bow as accurate as I needed because my hands were stiff and I could hardly feel them anymore.
This storm w
as not to our advantage at all.
We thought maybe it would hide the attack that the enemy would not see us coming, but this was too much. Even if they couldn’t see us that well, we couldn’t see them very well either. It would make taking out their archers all the more difficult. I doubted even an arrow could make it up to the wall as the rain would block it and the wind would carry it off in some other direction. I was a good archer, but I wasn’t that good. Although, this could help us as well, as the enemies’ archers would be facing the same problem. I prayed that I was right and that they could not shoot. Then all we would have to worry about was the gate.
Rain began to pour on the battlefield, thick drops hammering down on us. The drops bounced off the ground even, proving how fierce the storm raged. They felt like acorns being thrown off of a tree by a vicious squirrel in retaliation, who was trying to protect its home. It was too much to bear for the time being. I prayed that it would stop, that God would take pity on us, but it wasn’t the case. I swore that when the thought crossed my mind, the rain got even thicker and the wind even colder.
As I glanced around, I could see the worry on men’s faces grow greater and greater with every second that went by. I knew we should turn back at this point, that this mission wouldn’t be successful, but this decisive battle was our only chance for conquering the holy land, otherwise we would have to turn back and who knows when we would be able to attack again. No, I had a feeling our King would not turn back, not yet anyway.
I was still with Jonathan and Matthew as we journeyed towards the city. Matthew didn’t seem to mind as much as everyone else, but that was probably because of how thick he was. Jonathan, on the other hand, was rubbing his arms viciously in irritation.
“Damn this weather! Damn this rain! It should not be like this, not today,” he said as he shivered to himself. I couldn’t tell if he was crying as the rain had covered his face, but I had a feeling he was. I wanted to cry as well and it was taking everything I possessed, to not. “We will die out here, is there no justice?”
“Have faith, my young friend,” Matthew said as he put his hand on Jonathan’s back. He appeared almost like a father at that moment, although I knew they were more like best friends. “It will be over soon enough. We must fight, for it is His will.”
“Not when we are going to die before we get there. How do we know this is going to work, how do we know this isn’t a sign that we should turn back now. To me, this is a grim sign, but no one will heed it.”
Jonathan was right; this could be a sign that we weren’t supposed to battle, not today. But even so, it wasn’t our choice and we would have to follow orders from the king himself. Thunder crackled in the sky, making all three of us jump. It sounded like it was on top of us, giants in the sky.
“You would go this willingly to your own death? I thought you had more sense than this, Robin.”
There it was again, that woman’s voice. I looked around, but there was no one who could sound like her around me. Again, I glanced at Jonathan and Matthew for a reaction. They hadn’t appeared to notice the voice. They were more interested with battle strategy. I didn’t like hearing her voice, not in a time like this. I needed all my attention on the battle that lay ahead, but my mind couldn’t help but drift off to think about who could be talking to me, and whether or not the same witchcraft was used to conjure this storm. It was a devil’s storm, after all.
“I could give you so much more in life than this, it’s a pity really. You are going to die if you keep going.”
She was still speaking to me. I didn’t reply to this either, not only because I didn’t have anything to say back, but also because Jonathan and Matthew would think me crazy if I began to talk aloud to someone who wasn’t there. I also didn’t want to give in to the temptation she was speaking about, so I tried to keep my mind clear of everything, to see if that would help make her go away. I kept my mouth shut and kept moving towards the city with the rest of my legion.
“You think ignoring me will help?” her voice seemed to rise, as if she was angered by my rejection. This she-demon must not be used to people rejecting her, but I wasn’t going to give in, not when so much was at stake. Not when my friends were right next to me. They would keep my head up; they would keep me going until the end. Besides, her voice was in my head. She couldn’t do anything to me.
“You think I am just a figment of your imagination? Hmm, well, I guess I will have to show you the truth here pretty soon. Then your decision will have to be made.”
I almost stopped dead in my tracks. Decision? What decision? I wanted to ask this, but I didn’t want to seem crazy to those around me. She had said that she wasn’t a figment of my imagination, that she would reveal herself eventually. When would she do this? When would I finally find out the truth? And if she was real, what exactly would she do to me?
The voice finally stopped and I tried to clear my head of her. With the storm surrounding me, my friends at my side, and the enemy just up ahead, it wasn’t that hard. I needed to focus, I had to focus on what was ahead or my error could cause the death of a friend or fellow warrior. I wouldn’t let that happen. I kept marching forward.
The ground became slick with mud as the rain poured harder and harder down on us. As I walked, I lost my footing and fell into the sticky dirt, my white templar clothes were now caked in it. The red cross was now barely visible. Jonathan and Matthew grabbed my arms and helped me back up. I felt ashamed that I could do such a clumsy thing like falling in the mud right before a large, pivotal battle. But with how hard the rain was pouring and how much it had clouded my eyes, it really wasn’t my fault. I just hoped that the king himself didn’t see how one of his men made such a clumsy error, although I doubted anyone saw anything as the rain clouded our eyes.
I was soaked to the bone, as were many other men around me. All we wanted to do was to get to the City of Jerusalem and bring the rule of God back to these people. They were lost without it, I knew. This place was for the chosen and we wouldn’t let anyone else take control of it. It could mark the end times and I would not allow it. God wanted His people here for a reason and we would not rest until that command was fulfilled. But if it was His will, why would He bring such a storm?
Or was this the devil’s doing?
There had been cases in history where the devil would try and turn away those weak in faith so he could win, in a sense. Like in the Book of Job, even while Job lost everything, he still remained steadfast in keeping his faith. It was the one story in the Bible that I felt connected with, as I had faced many hardships in my life as well. I had lost many people just as he had, all because of the devil wanting to test his faith. I would succeed just as Job did. This was a test, I knew. I had to come out victorious. We all did.
As we kept walking, we could see a large structure in the distance. There it was. Jerusalem. I couldn’t believe it when I saw it. The walls stood tall and if the storm wasn’t destroying my entire view and putting me in a crappy mood, seeing it up close would have been one of the most beautiful moments in my entire life. The light material the city was made of would have shown brightly in the sun, if it wasn’t pouring down rain. It was grand, to say the least. I wished that I could have stood there and admired it, but that wasn’t what we were here for. We were here to conquer this city and give it back to those who rightfully needed it.
I pulled out my bow and readied an arrow. It was time for battle. I watched as men appeared in the defense walls while some other men came out from behind us. It was a set up. They now surrounded us.
And what was to come would be even worse than I had ever anticipated. Just like everything else in my life, bloodshed was about to begin.
Men in the back fought with those who had surrounded us. They had been ready for the attack, simply waiting until we showed up. That was why we hadn’t seen anyone before, because it was an ambush.
Our crusaders fought a brave battle against those who surrounded us. I hurried to the wall, knowing I
needed to take down those on top of the wall so we could get inside. Even though I could hear the screams of the men who were taken down by the surprise attack, I knew in the end that others would fight for their justice and take down the enemy behind us. I would help by doing my job.
As we came up to the walls, I got ready to shoot my arrows towards the enemy archers on the walls, along with my fellow soldiers. The rain had let up just a tiny bit and I thought this could be our chance, that our arrows would be able to penetrate through this storm and defeat those who were readying their arrows to rain down upon us. I was completely wrong. Just as I was about to shoot my first arrow, hail began to come falling down from the sky on us. Giant ice pellets, the size of pebbles, pelted us, making us all temporarily miss our focus on shooting the archers situated on the wall, if they were even still here in all this inclement weather. There was nowhere to take cover, we couldn’t do anything. Those who had surrounded us ran off towards the gate, taking cover, knowing it was more harmful for them to stay fighting us. But we had no cover. We were standing out in the desert, and I hoped that the voice didn’t intrude on my thoughts just now.
The King called orders to retreat, as there was no way I, nor any man among us, could shoot arrows in this type of brutal weather.
But that didn’t mean the enemy themselves couldn’t shoot down from the walls.
I watched as arrows flew down from the enemy’s defense, raining down along with the hail that seemed to get bigger and bigger with every moment that passed. Men around me collapsed onto the ground as rogue arrows stabbed them in the chest, leaving them bleeding out onto the ground. I didn’t stop or turn back to stare at the chaos occurring all around me; I knew if I wanted to get out of this alive, I had to run for my life. We were not going to win this battle, we would have to go back and start all over, but we had to leave before we lost too many men.