by Dani Hoots
I pulled out my sword. “Who are you and what do you want with me?”
Jonathan grabbed my arm. “Whoa, Robin, slow down. This is just a beautiful lady, not some nasty enemy. Don’t be so hasty.”
“She is the devil, look at her! Look at this place! She can get into your mind and spin false lies. Don’t listen to her!”
The woman pouted. “Is that how you treat your host? I invited you to my home, a place not many get to visit, only a handful through the centuries get this rare chance.”
“Centuries?” Jonathan began to realize my fear. “What do you mean?”
“Why, I am over five thousand years old. I’m cursed to haunt these lands, my castle overgrown with thorns, the creatures of the night taking refuge here.”
Jonathan pulled out his sword. “Then you are the devil.”
She let out a sweet laugh. “So naive. Not all things in the darkness are evil, and not all things in the light are pure. It would be best if you understood that early on in life.”
“What are you?!” I exclaimed.
“My name is Lilith, first wife of Adam, first woman ever created. Some even call me the demon of the night, although I promise you that I am hardly a demon.”
First woman created? This couldn’t be possible. How could she still be alive after all these years? Not only that, but I didn’t recall the name of Adam’s wife being Lilith. I was confused but I dared not ask any questions in which only lies would be given in return.
“What do you want with me? Why did you bring me here?” I asked.
“I found you to be interesting. Your heart seems so true. You are so loyal to those around you, especially to your King,” she stepped closer but I didn’t budge as her eyes had a bewitching element to them, leaving me in a trance. “I want to know how much it would take for you to give that loyalty up. How much you are willing to sacrifice?”
“I would die for him!” I said with great honor.
She shrugged. “That can be a lot for someone to sacrifice, but not you. To you, life is a worse punishment than death. You believe that when you die, you will go to Heaven. How is that sacrifice, going to paradise? No, death for you is not sacrifice. It is a gift.”
What she was saying was true, I wanted to die, I wanted to end my suffering on Earth, but how she knew that, I did not know. “What are you trying to say?”
She laughed and walked over to the elegant couch in the far corner. It wasn’t until now that I noticed that Matthew was laying there, his leg still bleeding profusely.
“Matthew! How is this possible?” I exclaimed. I glanced to Jonathan, his face was white with horror. We were dealing with a demon, and it was only the three of us against her.
“My servants brought him here for me. I couldn’t help it, he just looked so... Delicious,” her eyes turned black as the sea at night. She exposed her teeth, sharper than any creature I had ever seen. Without thought, I launched at her, my sword slicing through her stomach. She gasped, as if it were a simple shove, and looked down at my sword that was sticking out of her torso.
“You think that after living for thousands of years, a simple sword could kill me?” she pulled it out like it was just a small splinter. I didn’t know what to do, but simply stood there, horror-stricken by what my disbelieving eyes were seeing. “Robin, I can promise you eternal life, just like what I have. I can promise you a perfect world where you no longer have to fear for the repercussions of the sins you commit. You can do whatever you want, give into every temptation and never have to pay the price. Just say the word and all of this can be yours.”
I shook my head. “No, I will never give in to you!”
Jonathan didn’t say a word and I couldn’t believe he didn’t agree with me. Matthew, on the other hand, nodded.
“Please, make the suffering go away. I want to live,” he whispered.
A malicious grin appeared on Lilith’s perfect rosy lips as she bent down and bit the neck of our friend.
“No!” I called out. “Matthew, don’t do it!”
But it was too late. The demon’s teeth had bitten into his flesh and Matthew let out a scream that was more agonizing than anything I had ever heard before in my life. I had watched so many people die over the years, but it had never sounded that terrifying.
Lilith pulled up, blood dripping down her chin and onto the ground. She licked her lips, as if the blood had tasted sweet to her, like honey. “Now,” she said. “Who is next?”
“I will,” Jonathan said, kneeling down to her. Before I could do anything to stop her, she grabbed Jonathan as well and bit into his neck.
“Now, that leaves you, my dear Robin.”
I grabbed my sword once more and swung it at her, but this time she caught the sword with her hand which then sliced into her palm, leaving blood dripping down the edge of my sword.
“I’m tired of these games, Robin. Surrender to me, just as your friend did and I will not harm the King.”
My eyes widened. “What did you say?”
“If you do not succumb to me, I will kill the King. Murder him in his sleep. If you want to save him from me, surrender. Both of you.”
“Why would you do this?”
She shrugged. “If he defeats those who are there, then I have no war to watch any longer. It has kept me entertained over the years. He has such passion, he would be the only one that I have seen who could win.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She wanted to kill the king just because she was bored? For entertainment? And if I didn’t give into this demon, the King would die. If I gave in, I would become one of her servants, living for eternity, my soul destroyed from what I gathered. I would live forever, never reaching paradise. I would be stuck here. Forever. Was this what I was willing to sacrifice for my king? My soul?
I knelt down in front of her. “Do it. For my King. You must promise never to hurt him.”
She grinned, her teeth still stained from Jonathan and Matthew’s blood. I didn’t know if the last feeling I had was regret in the pit of my stomach, or if it was sorrow for my friends. I didn’t want them to have this fate.
“I promise I will never touch him.”
With that, I felt her teeth dig into the flesh at my neck. I let out an agonizing scream and blacked out.
When I woke, I didn’t feel that much different. For a second, I thought maybe it had all been a dream but the harsh reality hit me like a sword. As I stood up, I felt my energy escape me, and I almost fell down to the ground. I felt as if I couldn’t move, as if all of me had left and all that was left behind was a shell of my former self. I needed both food and water, at least that is what I thought I needed.
“How is my special servant doing?” Lilith asked as looked up. She was standing there, with Jonathan and Matthew. They seemed different now, which I figured I did as well. They both seemed to stand taller, as if stronger and more proud.
“I feel... weak,” I said, coughing. It felt like my heart was pushing its way out my throat. I coughed up blood.
Lilith came up next to me and bit her wrist. “Here, you need this for energy and to complete the transformation.”
I stared at her arm, wondering if I should give in or if I should let myself die. The hunger was too great though, and I grabbed her wrist and drank the blood.
And you know what? I liked it.
The taste of her blood was sweeter than honey, more satisfying than meat, and more filling than bread. All I wanted was her and her alone. I felt whole for once in my life and it gave me such energy, such passion.
She pulled back her wrist. “That is enough. So selfish, not what I expected,” she turned around and faced Jonathan and Matthew. “Now I have a special task for the two of you. Kill the King.”
My eyes widened. “What? You promised!”
“I promised that I would not kill the King. I never said anything about these two,” she smiled.
“I can’t let them do this, I will not allow it! These are my friends!”
“An order is an order, they can’t defy me. If you want to stop them, you are going to have to kill them yourself. You better hurry,” she said as Jonathan and Matthew left the room. “They are already on their way.”
Not only did she leave me to choose between life and death, now she left me to choose whether or not to pick my friends over my King. I had grown close to these two men for the past number of months; I couldn’t bare it if I had to kill them myself. Not after everything I had been through, the bad luck that I had caused everyone else.
I shook my head. “Please, anything but that. I will do anything you ask, take back the order. Don’t make me do this.”
“It’s too late. You have to choose. What is worth the life of your King? Your friends? Make your choice soon, they are almost there.”
This couldn’t be happening, I couldn’t be making this choice. But I knew what I had to do, even though I would be left hating myself for an eternity. At least I knew I would be doing the right thing to bring peace to this world. I hurried off after the two of them, hoping that somehow this was all a dream that I would wake up any moment and it all would be fine. It wasn’t the case though, this was what was going to happen. I would have to kill them. I would have to kill my best two friends.
They were almost to the camp, I could see them in the distance. I ran towards them, my sword at the ready. I didn’t know how I was going to kill them, when stabbing Lilith had done nothing. It would be gruesome, I predicted that I would need to take off their heads.
As I finally reached them, I called out. “Jonathan, Matthew, please don’t do this! Please turn back so I don’t have to protect our King!”
Jonathan shook his head. “Don’t you see? None of it matters! Even if we kill him, another king will take his spot. We are going to live forever, there will be king after king and nation after nation. None of it matters any more. Life doesn’t matter!”
“You don’t mean that, the Jonathan I knew would never say that.”
“Robin,” Matthew began. “Just help us. Help us satisfy our Queen. Our Empress. She is the only one who matters now.”
I held up my sword. “Over my dead body.”
Both Jonathan and Matthew attacked me. I had no choice. I had to fight back. My first instinct was to fight them with my own claws and teeth, as the creature inside of me was trying to take over. I couldn’t let that happen. I had to fight them like the man I was. I swung my sword high, with all my strength and chopped off their heads.
Blood spilled onto the ground, but I knew it was only a fraction of the blood I would see over the years. Over the centuries. Over the millennia. But for some reason, I knew I would never forget this blood.
The blood of my friends. The blood that I had shed.
Someone in the camp must have seen me because I heard screams and torches were lit as they started for me. I ran away, knowing I could never properly explain to them what happened. Not only that, but now I was a creature of the darkness, a servant of a demon. A servant to Lilith.
I went back to the castle of thorns, not saying a word as I collapsed there on the ground. Lilith simply laughed and left me there. I must have been there for days, in agony, in pain as the reality struck me again and again. I would never die. I would never be clean of the blood I had shed.
Almost a millennia has passed and I will never forget their faces as I attacked them, stopping them from killing the King. Unfortunately, King Richard never took the Holy Land. His quest has been long forgotten, but the fighting never ceased to exist. It has been one battle after another and I stand here, from the castle of thorns, watching it all unwind in a ruthless, never-ending cycle. Why can’t they just stop? Don’t they see human lives are short and there is more to life than just fighting? It needs to be enjoyed, it needs to be savored. Or maybe one day, you will find yourself in a situation like mine. Never having been able to see the end of it all.
Do the ends justify the means? It’s a question that I have been pondering for hundreds of years, ever since this all started. Although, I have to admit, it didn’t feel as if that much time had passed. But when I look down upon the many civilizations in Chile that have progressed through time, the rapid passing of time seems very apparent. Cities have changed again and again while I remained tucked away in the mountains, waiting for the day that I might once again go back to my old life, although I knew that would never be possible.
It was far too late for anyone to accept me now; anyone who found out what I was would kill me. I’ve seen them do it before. No, I would stay up here and simply observe things from a far-removed location, knowing deep down that the places I could live seemed to decrease in number each day. The other creatures of the surrounding land I resided in wanted to stop them, to rip them to pieces for even thinking about coming onto our land. But I stopped them from seeking recompense, and told them placidly that all things must change with time, as I had learned the hard way—which brings me back to my question. Do the ends justify the means? And the more time that goes by, the harder it seems to answer.
So much had changed since the year 1541 that I can hardly even remember what life was like back then. Or maybe, I just wanted to forget that life entirely, along with the long-repressed pain and betrayal that filled my heart, mind, and soul, if I had a soul that is. All those memories of my past life seemed foreign, like the same strangers who came barging into our land and destroyed everything we knew and loved. Those ‘explorers’ who thought that this land was for the taking, that none of the tribes that lived here owned it. They demolished it all and took it for themselves, treating us like we were inferior to them. The strangers didn’t understand how the world worked, how we as a people were connected to the land through our connection with the spirits. Those spirits couldn’t be ignored or there would be outright chaos. It was why I wanted to stand up and fight, using any means necessary, to stand against them and the threat they posed to our way of life.
Which is exactly what got me into trouble.
I was once a powerful woman, a powerful machi, who took care of my tribe, declaring war or peace against whomever we met. I could communicate with the spirit world, ask for their guidance. I knew everything there was about the methods of healing those around me, and for a while, I thought my tribe would survive forever. The machi before me trained me and died before my seventeenth birthday, just before the first outsiders marched onto our lands.
Right away, I had to make a big decision for our tribe, and that was to fight them if they came near. We watched their every move closely. They didn’t seem to stay for very long, only exploring the beach around them, and then they left. But even then, we were afraid that they would come back from the unknown place across the water. And we fretted over the possibility they would come closer to our tribe next time around, signifying that we would need to fight them. When they finally came back, though, I had to rely on more desperate measures to ensure our survival—such as calling upon a peuchen for help.
Or really, I was tricked. It was years ago and I can’t believe that I could have been so naive to think they would even prove helpful to our cause. Although, in the end, it made me see who really stood at my side, who truly had faith in me.
And the answer was no one.
I learned that I could trust no one but myself. I didn’t understand how a whole tribe of people, people with whom I identified with as my family and friends could turn their backs on me so easily. I helped them through everything, giving them advice, leadership, but they threw it all away in that last moment I took desperate measures to protect all of them. They should have understood, they should have praised me for making such a monumental sacrifice. If they didn’t betray me, we could have survived—we could have easily defeated those outsiders. They wouldn’t have stood a chance against us. But my people did turn their backs on me, and for that, they paid the ultimate price.
It wasn’t an easy decision, either. I had to choose between the mortal life that I had cherished or the l
ife spent eternally in the darkness. It was practically a decision between life and death, but no one saw it like that. I died that day, my powers no longer within my grasp, yet I somehow had become much stronger in contrast. I could no longer communicate with the spirits, but I could gather tons of strength at one time, along with so many allies at my beck and call that also lived in the darkness. That incredible formidability was worth it alone. After all, I did survive.
It had been twenty years since the first outsider stepped foot on our land, now called Chile. As I mentioned before, the machi before me had just passed away and the tribe looked to me for guidance as to how we should treat the outsiders from the far off land. It was I who had the sole authority to advise the tribe on important diplomatic discussions, pertaining to peace and warfare. It was I who was the machi, in essence. I was their influential leader.
The first outsiders didn’t stay long, as if they were just getting a look at the land that we possessed, and as fast as he came, they were gone. This was a blessing, as I had given the orders for war if they ventured any closer to our tribe. I had heard rumors from other tribes that some strange foreigners were showing up, taking what they wanted, and leaving. They were disruptive and had harmed many. I wouldn’t allow that same sorry fate to befall my tribe,I wouldn’t allow harm to come to anyone.
For years, we wondered if we would ever see more outsiders travel to our land by sailing over the ocean on their large crafts from their distant lands. All of these foreign men were decorated in strange metal and garments and they spoke in such a strange tongue that none of us were able to understand them completely as we spied on them. I wondered if they came from another world, and they were here to impart some important lesson from the spirit world. It wasn’t until later that I came to understand the only lesson they would teach us was the lesson to never trust anyone ever again.
And that my people could easily turn their backs on me.
It all started on the day they came back. I was up in the hills, a mile or so away from my village, thanking the spirits for such a lovely day while picking herbs that would serve as medicine for my people. Most of the time I would have a helper from the other village but that day I decided to go alone to give thanks to all the spirits that had blessed our village. I didn’t know then that they too would betray us with a fate as cruel as death.