I am completely astounded by his words. Even after they’ve circled my mind several times, I’m still speechless.
Walk through the gardens? Swimming? I wasn’t even aware he owned a pool.
“However, if you don’t open that mouth of yours, we’ll do neither and you will remain in bed. Do you understand me, Heather?” His dark and eerily calm voice cuts through the room.
“Y-y-yes, thank you.” I whisper.
“Good. I’ve taken off this week and next in order to care for you. During these next two weeks I plan on reorienting you to how things work between us, as well as orienting you to a few new allowances I’ve decided you earned. You and I will also be going over wedding plans. We won’t be going out of the house, but instead I will arrange the planner to have the wedding people come to us. The baker, florist, wedding dress designer, etcetera. Once I am able to settle on which OBGYN specialist is the best to take care of you and the… you and the—“
“Baby. Our daughter. Either would suffice in referring to her. I refuse for you to use the term ‘fetus’ in order to detach the reality of who she is and how important she is to me.” I quietly, yet sternly inform him.
He coughs before saying, “Very well, you and the baby. Once I decide on a doctor who is good enough to care for you and the baby I will have them come here monthly until you’re closer to delivering.”
While we sit in total silence the ramifications of what he is allowing, the immensity of the changes he is willing make resonates through me and alights a brand of hope I never dreamed possible.
After a knock on the door sounds, Roman speaks, “Come in.”
I feel his hands slide beneath my arms before he pulls me up in bed and settles me with my back against my pillows. When I crack my right eye, I watch as he settles the tray Dolores brought into the room across my lap before he grabs his own plate from the cart and places it on the table he at some point moved from the sitting area to in front of his chair beside my bed.
Dolores quietly leaves us. Roman looks up smiling at me as he picks up his knife and fork. As he cuts into his eggs over toast he says, “Bon appetite.” before taking a bite of his breakfast.
I collect my wits to the best of my ability and parrot his words, “Bon appetite.” Then dig into my food like a starving woman barely pausing between bites.
After Roman and I finish eating we talk about different topics, most are ones we’ve never discussed before. The medicine’s side effects begin making my eye and extremities heavy and it isn’t long before drowsiness lulls my consciousness away.
Yesterday Roman brought me a lunch tray with a Japanese feast adorning it. Teppanyaki steak, fried rice, Miso soup and side sushi roll. Having never been a fan of sushi, it was left untouched, while everything else was devoured. Roman sat watching me eat, smiling lovingly at me from his chair.
Just as he promised, we dined in my room. I can assume during my afternoon nap he had my sitting area transformed into a dining area with a small formal dining table with two high back dining chairs, complete with a candelabra holding dozens of silver and light blue candle sticks.
We ate in total silence. I’m uncertain what kept him from initiating conversation, as for me, I kept quiet for one reason and one reason alone, I have no idea where I stand with this new and seemingly improved Roman. I don’t know what, if anything will set him off one of his tirades, so instead I say nothing.
I awoke this morning similarly to yesterday, with Roman sitting on my bed, gently brushing his fingers through my hair and smiling down at me. “You’re beautiful, little mouse. I regret not having told you so before, but you are indeed, extremely beautiful.”
I know the following words fall from my lips only because I’m unable to properly filter myself after just having been wakened and as soon as I realize I’ve said the words…I know I’ve fucked up. “Tell me, is it the idea of you possessing such beauty, possessing, then shattering it for your own amusement that I can thank for this new about face you’ve been displaying?”
Without warning and with the grace of the perfect predator his elbows are straddling my shoulders with his knees sinking into the mattress on either side of mine. Leaning his face down before his forehead nudges up my neck, behind my ear, and settles it against mine, his huge hands follow, sliding from my upper arms, over my shoulders to cup my face.
In an effort to prepare myself from his impending strikes, I flinch, closing my eye as quickly as possible.
After what seems like a lifetime I peek up at him and his smile remains. He brushes his lips against mine and mutters hoarsely, “No, baby. I have no explanation as to what it is you hold the other twelve did not. I’ve only recently stopped searching and decided I don’t fucking care any more…because the answer doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is you are mine, and all I wish is to keep you happy.” He smiles, “I’ve finally concurred, when you’re happy… you don’t shut me out, and when I’m not shut out...I am happy.”
His mouth slants, covering mine and I bask in his affection, handing control of the kiss to him before his hands demand it. I’m rarely gifted with tenderness from Roman. The instant I recognize this moment as one of those rarities, I revel in the strength of my love for him, basking in his every sweet, gentle and loving kisses.
This new ability to show love and kindness is a dangerous and wickedly wonderful prelude to what our potential future could hold. And right now, in this moment, I want nothing more than to seize it and hold on to it for dear life, but at the same time I want to pull the fucking pin and launch this ticking bomb as far as I can, turn around, and haul ass.
His chuckled voice pulls me from my thoughts, “I just referred to you in a term of endearment I swore I would avoid ever using, but it fell out effortlessly in regards to you.” His facial expression mirrors both confusion and amusement. “Okay. Here.” He leans back on his haunches.
Handing me two pills he holds a glass of water with a straw up to my lips. “Swallow those down, after your nap you and I will take a little walk through the gardens and if the weather permits we’ll have a little swim afterward.” I do as I’m told, swallow the pills down with a sip of water and look up at him sitting on the edge of my bed. All he does is smile before brushing his lips across my forehead and stands to leave.
I wake to him mumbling inside my closet. As soon as I remember his promised plans for the day, I bolt upright in bed.
“…never even paid attention to what she would have chose. Damn it.”
I reach, pulling the covers back to hop out of bed when I notice three outfits carefully placed on the foot of the bed. After I slip from the bed I tip toe to the closet, but before I’m able to enter I run face first into his chest. “Ouch! Shit!” Immediately both of my hands fly to my face and I feel warm blood gushing from my nose.
“Baby?! Shit, I’m…” His strong hands gently cup the top of my arms and lead me to his chair, once the back of my knees meet the soft leather cushion I slowly sit. A split second after he disappears into my bathroom he rushes toward me and places a cool wet rag on my face. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I was trying—“
Patting his busy hands until they still, I take the rag and pinch my nose before leaning my head back and peeking at him through my right eye. “I know what you were doing. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, just an accident. Can you please grab a pair of white shorts, the Noir Gladiator sandals and which ever top you like the best?”
“Sure. Sure.”
He hurries back into the closet speaking over his shoulder, “I started a bath for you. Is your bottom better from…” His words drift off and I pick up his question, answering it.
“Yes, Roman. It’s fine. And a bath sounds perfect. I’ll be right out. Thank you.”
Standing to make my way to the bathroom, I keep the rag held tightly to my face.
Once I’ve bathed and washed my hair I soak in the tub for a while. After testing my nose and I’m sure I won’t make any further mess, I step f
rom the tub and dry off before slipping on my silk robe and tying the sash.
I brush my hair out and twist it into a loose French braid then walk into my room. I notice the other outfits have been put away and lying on top of my made bed are my shoes, a pair of white Bermuda shorts and a loose pale yellow capped sleeve button up blouse.
I do attempt to apply some makeup but when I realize it only seems to make the mess of my face worse I stop trying and get dressed.
As soon as I have my sandals zipped up Roman knocks and enters my room and I swear I hear him whisper, “Beautiful.”
“I’m sorry?” I ask while standing up and looking at my reflection. Beautiful? No, try horrid.
“Nothing.” He shakes his head. “Are you ready?” Excitement zips through me and I smile at his reflection standing behind me. As sad as it is, this is as close to a first date as I’ve ever come. And I have to admit, I’m giddy. Even beaten ugly by the man who is escorting me on said quasi-first date, dammit I am giddy. And there is honestly not a thing, well, besides the appearance of my face, which I would change.
“I am.” When I turn still smiling, he takes both of my hands in his and peppers kisses atop my knuckles. Clasping our hands together, he leads me from the room, down the massive staircase and out to the garden,
When the sun hits my face a smile as big as you please dances onto it and never leaves. As a sigh leaves me I open my eye and immediately clench it closed because of the suns brightness.
“Silly mouse. Here.” Roman slides sunglasses onto my face. “I know it’s been a while, but it’s still the sun, you can’t look at it without it hurting. Come along, let’s go walk through these beloved gardens of yours you’ve been anxiously awaiting to stroll through.” He chuckles pulling me forward and when my eye opens to see his beautiful smile and his raven black hair reflecting in the sunlight I hesitate slightly before his arm slides around my shoulder and he leads me through the landscape.
The devil he may be, but God almighty there is no denying he is a beautiful one…
Chapter 22
I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never had to be nice to someone a day in my life. I do know on some level I feel satisfaction whenever I win a true smile from her or hear her sweet laugh.
“Can I ask you a question without getting my head taken off?” Her arm loops around the crook of my elbow as we walk underneath the wisteria canopy.
“Do I do that often? Bite your head off over a simple question?” Her laughter resembles one of my favorite eighty songs, and that thought alone leaves me even more confused.
“Umm… question, observation, opinion, or comment. God forbid I attempt to initiate an actual debate with you. Yes on all accounts, Hell yes on the later.”
I have to bite my tongue to prevent myself from making a snide remark. Instead I grit out, “I will not take your head off, question away, mouse.”
“Really?” I nod trying to keep my face as neutral as possible. “Okay, did Dolores tell you about my wanting to go outside by speaking or writing it down?”
My steps falter and I look down at her in question. “She spoke, why do you ask?”
“She’d rather I think she was mute than speak to me, I presume.” Heather continues her slow pace.
“Ahh…” I chuckle before explaining. “Dolores only speaks to me. She tried to play the mute game with me when I was young, but it only lasted a short while. So, yes. She voiced her suggestions. If you would like, I will gladly inform her she must speak and stop her silly quiet game. Just say the words, mouse and it will be done.”
Heather looks down for a moment as if in thought. When she looks up at me and I see tears pool in the corner of her eyes and the same tightening feeling associated with her sadness constricts painfully around my heart. “No, Roman. I’ll not have Dolores forced to speak to me, when she speaks to me I want it to be because she wants to. Do you like having control over so many?”
Damn confusion shrouds my happiness once again. “Control over so many?”
She quickly masks her sad smile before explaining, “Andrew, Sebastian, Dolores, Me, hell, Roman even your own parents. You’re the puppeteer and we are all mere puppets. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m asking.”
The anger from her question swells and batters against the peaceful calm blanketing my usual chaotic mind. It causes me to spin on my heels and bark over my shoulder as I stalk away of her, “If we’re going to swim today it’s either now or never. I’m not sure how long this fickle Seattle weather will allow it.”
Once I exit the wisteria canopy I stop on the pathway, when she steps from the shade I nod towards the pool house. “I wasn’t sure what type of bathing suit you prefer. I had Miquel purchase a dozen or so, hopefully something will be to your liking. I’m headed inside, I’ll meet you outside the pool house in fifteen minutes, mouse.”
After I’ve changed into my swim trunks and gathered some pool towels, I slide my Ray Ban aviators onto my face and make my way through the house and out the back doors towards the pool house. I damn near trip over my own feet when I see my little mouse in a bathing suit that should be illegal in all fifty states. It could possibly be called a black halter one piece, except the plunging neckline resembles a severe V and meets at the front of the bottoms four inches below her navel. Tiny. Bottoms. Which are presently covering the ass she has in the air as she digs through a bag before standing with her back to me, sending the mass of blond curls tumbling down her back. She slides the sunglasses I gave her earlier onto her face, scoops up her bag and turns around, instantly yelping and leaping almost foot off the stone pathway. “Jesus. Christ! Roman, you almost gave me a heart attack! Stop being so damn stealthy, it makes me nervous.”
Once she seems somewhat settled I crack a smile. “Sorry. When I watch you I tend to prefer to do so when you’re unaware. Makes it easier to see the real you.”
Confusion flits across her face and she furrows her brows. “The real me? Why would you ever want to see the real me? All you’ve ever demanded from me is the complete opposite. I’m not sure I’ll ever understand you, Roman.”
“I don’t think I will either, baby—mouse. I hate that term. I hate even more that it keeps falling out.” She slides her hand into mine before pulling me towards the opposite direction of the pool and I stop her. “The pool isn’t that way.” I jerk my head over my shoulder and smile, “It’s this way.”
She smiles and I witness my little Heather go shy. Yes, shy. Of all things. Then I lead her towards the pool. As soon as it’s in sight her steps falter and I have to keep pulling her forward. “Oh, no you don’t.“ I walk down the pool steps into the warmed water and pluck her shoes off her feet when she’s knee deep four steps above me into the pool, tossing them as well as the bag hanging from her shoulder to the side before pushing up out of the water and scooping her up. Her legs instinctively wrap around my waist and her arms slide around my neck as I leap backwards off the stairs into the water then kick my feet to keep our faces above the waterline.
“Oh!” She yelps before releasing an uninhibited giggle, which turns into pure beautiful laughter. Then she snorts. Easily the most unattractive sound I’ve ever had accost my eardrums. And I’ll be fucking damned if it doesn’t make me truly laugh out loud.
“What? You act like you’ve never been in a pool before, mouse.”
I feel her wet lips smile in the crook of my neck before she kisses and nips her teeth into my flesh. Her tongue sweeps out licking the bite before settling her lips against my neck and murmuring, “I like when you call me baby. Makes me feel cherished, loved… plus it sounds much better than ‘mouse’, I always think of Fievel when you call me that.” She chuckles.
“Is that so?” I smirk, looking down at her beautiful face and emotions flare both daring and hoping she will be strong enough to hold her own against the sterile and cold person I am.
I’ve never wanted something to work as much as I want this to, at this moment.
Ou
r silly banter bounces back and forth while we play and swim around. Even though her face is still bruised and swollen because of my hands, it does nothing to draw away from the radiance shining from her.
I’ve always known I’d never be able to fall in love, that it was an impossibility… however right now, in this moment, that impossibility is quickly becoming a possibility.
And it scares the fuck out of me.
Heather tires out pretty quickly but it doesn’t prevent her beautiful smile from remaining on her face. After I have her wrapped in a towel, I scoop her up with one arm behind her back and the other under her knees and carry her up the stairs to her bedroom. She’s out before I can lay her in the bed and tuck the covers around her.
I lightly kiss her forehead, turn off the lamp and pull the room darkening curtains shut before quietly closing the door behind me and making my way to my own room. Once I’m dressed in denim jeans and a dark gray v neck t-shirt I walk to my office and sit behind my desk. My thoughts and plan of action scatter in my mind.
Before I realize I’ve grabbed my phone I’ve dialed Sebastian’s number and listen as it rings.
I teamed Sebastian with Andrew after Heather fell into my keeping for several reasons, the most important reason being Andrew can be a little too, legal sometimes, and he also asks too many questions. Sebastian, well he doesn’t give a damn about the law, or the lives, he only cares about the bottom line—Money.
It’s his lack of morals that makes him an important of my future. Mine, Heather’s, and our… upcoming family.
“This’s Seb, What’s up?”
“Sebastian, did you find us a maxillofacial surgeon yet?”
“I did. Dr. Tessler, very renowned specialist, his clinic is in Portland, Oregon. He said he can be in Seattle tomorrow morning. Also, I looked into the OBGYN specialist per your request, you should have an email. I just sent it.”
“Perfect. And Ms. Mackenzie’s brothers?”
Roman: Book 1 Page 11