by J. M. Witt
But the payoff in both arenas is well worth it.
I was so close so many times tonight...thank you for that...
Thinking about velvet lined cuffs...
TO: [email protected]
9:24 PM
Subject: Re: Safe travels
Maybe you should stop tomorrow and get some.
TO: [email protected]
9:27 PM
Subject: Re: Safe travels
I’m gonna go broke buying us gear...
I ended up emailing him before I heard if he’d arrived. I was tired and knew I needed sleep.
TO: [email protected]
11:03 PM
Subject: Until tomorrow...
I’ve debated staying up in preparation for the late night tomorrow or go to sleep.
I’m opting for sleep.
Hope you get some rest and that tomorrow is a good day for you. I’ll be riddled with anxiety all day.
Sweet dreams...my ass is super sore...
As I crawled into bed a few minutes later, his response awaited me.
TO: [email protected]
11:14 PM
Subject: Re: Until tomorrow...
Just pulled into the hotel. Have to check in.
I dozed off before I could respond. When I woke, I was deliriously happy. Today was the day. I just had to make it through till this afternoon when Tami and I could hit the road.
TO: [email protected]
7:34 AM
Subject: Re: Until tomorrow...
I crashed as soon as I hit the bed. Didn’t even plug the phone in. Looking forward to tonight.
TO: [email protected]
8:39 AM
Subject: Supplies
I was wondering if that’s what happened to you. I’m glad you got some rest. I know we both needed it! :)
You mentioned condoms and drinks. Anything special?
Brain was a lil muddled last night when you mentioned it. :)
TO: [email protected]
8:34 AM
Subject: Re: Supplies
I will try to stop earlier but if you are getting something – a small bottle of bourbon and coke would be nice.
Make sure your pussy and ass are both very well prepared to be tongue fucked.
Constant firmness in my pants this morning...
“Mom!” I slammed my laptop shut. “We have to go!”
“Yes, sorry.” I jumped up from my desk. “Let’s go!”
When I got home, I sent my reply just as I saw Tami pull in the drive.
TO: [email protected]
9:24 AM
Subject: Re: Supplies
I’ll get some bourbon.
Planning to shower and prep at my hotel before heading to yours. I’ll be very prepared...
Constant throbbing and wetness in mine...
Do I get to play music tonight? Music is one of my drugs...you’d be another... :)
I heard Tami come in as I hit send. She sat down across from me and glared at me.
“You whore!”
We both started cracking up. I nodded and accepted the title she’d bestowed upon me. We spent the morning cleaning, packing, bullshitting, and checking the porch for deliveries. Todd was supposed to be home around the same time the kids got off the bus and then Tami and I would make the two hour drive south.
Around one in the afternoon, my doorbell rang. I jumped off the couch and ran to the door. My delivery guy was walking away and a box sat in front of my door. Snatching it off the porch, I ran to the bedroom where Tami followed. Opening it up, it was encased in plastic, and heavier than I’d imagined it would be.
The smell was evident through the plastic and we couldn’t resist opening it. Tami took a big sniff, “Ahhh. That smells so good.”
I swiped it back and inhaled several times, until I was slightly dizzy. “I have to tell him it came!”
TO: [email protected]
1:34 PM
Subject: Special delivery
Something just arrived on my doorstep...
I may have squealed...
:)
TO: [email protected]
1:41 PM
Subject: Re: Special delivery
Take a pic
Tami took a couple pictures of me holding the flogger and we sent them on to Gregor.
TO: [email protected]
1:58 PM
Subject: Re: Special delivery
It smells delicious...
The rest of the day had moments of crawling and flying by. Finally, we were on the road around dinner time.
TO: [email protected]
5:52 PM
Subject: Leaving
Just hit the road. Tami and I are making a few stops, then I’ll be preparing!
He simply responded with a smiley emoticon.
“So, you know I hate you right?” I caught the sarcastic tone in her voice.
Looking to her and then back to the road, I tried to contain my excitement. “I’m sorry.”
“No you’re not. It’s ok. I get it.”
“Thank you. Really. I think I would’ve already gone insane if I didn’t have you.”
Chuckling, “They can put us in the same padded cell.”
“Yes, yes they can.”
“Are things any better with Todd?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Maybe because I’m not constantly begging him for attention, since I’m getting it elsewhere.”
“He hasn’t noticed or asked questions?”
I just shook my head. “Oblivious as usual.”
After a few minutes of silence, she asked, “You hungry?”
I thought about it and giggled. “Yes, but I need to be careful about what I eat.” She eyed me, knowing what I meant, but I explained further. “Nervous stomach and I don’t want to get all gassy.”
“Yeah. Might kill the mood.” She pulled something out of her purse. “Here. This should help.” She handed me a packet of gas relief. “Now pick somewhere. I’m starving.”
“You’re always prepared.”
Scoffing, “I can’t believe he asked you to pick up the condoms.”
Shrugging my shoulders, “I don’t mind. If he had a slew of them already on hand I’d be more concerned.”
“True. And it’s not just a man’s world anymore.”
“Exactly. And we need to find a sex toy shop. I want cuffs!”
“Oh, Jesus. Ok!”
We stopped for fast food and got back on the road. Music blaring, Under the Influence by Elle King playing, we both sang along. Tami dramatically pointed at me during several parts of the song. We listened to it a few times before we let the next song in my playlist come on.
We were over half way there when Tami asked, “So, still no emotions?”
My eyes got big as I responded, “What do you mean?”
“You both agreed to no emotions. How’s that working out?”
I decided to tell her about the things he’d said the last couple days. “He told me he missed me when I saw him and that he loved my eyes the other day. Over and over. He said no falling, his rules.”
“He’s falling.”
I just shook my head because if he was, it wasn’t how she thought it was—or how I was, though I still denied it. “I can’t even process that right now, Tami.”
“Damn.” She huffed, “But, Dude, NO! You can have some emotions but no, no, no, no deep shit. Intense and fun, nothing else!”
“We clearly have a connection. Right now I’m fine with it being strictly sexual. I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. I have an outlet.”
“But?”
“But if he falls, I’m done for.”
“I know you are. That’s why I’m worried. Y’all are already teetering. He needs to reel it back in.”
“I'm just saying, the odds of me finding this kind of thing again, someone who makes me feel the way I do when I'm around him...I mean, my own husband has ne
ver made me feel like this. Even if it is just carnal...I can't expect to find it again. Can I?” She didn’t speak as I glanced out the window at the scenery passing by. I whispered not even sure she could hear me, “And that's what scares me most.”
I was quiet for a few minutes, the silence uneasy. I wasn’t sure who needed to reel it back in, we probably both needed to.
I replied without looking at her, “He’s killing me...slowly.”
“And not with his song either.”
Laughing, I confessed, “I’m not really sure what to expect tonight.” She narrowed her eyes at me. Clarifying, “I mean, I know what to expect. I just, it’s all night.”
“And the problem...?”
I laughed. “I don’t know.” I shifted in my seat and grimaced, “Shit.”
She knew why I grimaced, I’d shown her my ass. “I don’t want to hear it. Stupid whore.”
I snickered. She meant it in the nicest way. She, too, was a submissive, but hadn’t been in a fulfilling relationship in a long time. “You should put yourself back out there.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I’m content right now. I’ll just live vicariously through you.”
“I love you, Tami.”
“I know. Love you, too.” She was playing on her phone and said, “Next exit has a toy shop.”
“Perfect!”
Chapter Twenty
I FEEL A SIN COMIN’ ON
WE WALKED INTO THE shop, both making inappropriate remarks and laughing.
“Can I help you?” The kid behind the counter didn’t look old enough to drink, let alone be able to help two grown ass women pick out sex toys.
“Restraints, cuffs?” He pointed to the other end of the store. As Tami headed that way I said, while pointing to Tami, “Bitch is getting tied up tonight. Whether she likes it or not!”
The clerk blushed and turned to the door as a couple walked in.
Tami was beet red and chided me, “I’m going to choke you.”
“Well, just promise you’ll stop when I start turning blue.”
“Goddammit, Meredith!” I was nearly bent over with laughter.
We found the wall and the selection was pathetic. There was only one kit that caught my eye. They were white silk lined wrist and ankle cuffs. White wasn’t my first choice, but they’d do the job. Pulling them off the wall, I examined them more closely.
“Yup. These should do.”
“Anything else Madame?” Smiling at Tami, I shook my head.
We checked out and got back in my car. Hitting a liquor store, we picked up a few more items. I got myself some wine coolers, a bottle of bourbon and coke for Gregor, and Tami got a couple bottles of wine.
Standing in line at the hotel, several couples wandered around and I couldn’t help but wonder about their individual situations. The deeper into the lifestyle I dove, the more I wondered about the secret desires of those around me and the more I understood. How many of my friends, family, coworkers, acquaintances had secret affairs and longings that no one knew about? The man smiling at his phone in line at the grocery store; was he smiling at a text from a secret lover or from his wife? The possibilities were endless, just like my imagination. The problem was that everyone had an opinion and believed theirs was the only opinion that mattered.
“Meredith!”
Tami elbowed me and I realized the hotel clerk was waiting for me. “Sorry.” I pulled out my ID and credit card and handed it over.
Once we had our keys, we headed to the elevator.
“What were you thinking about back there?”
Alone in the elevator, I told her. “Just wondering how many of the couples that we saw downstairs are really having affairs.”
Her mouth almost fell open as she thought about it. “You’re one twisted bitch.”
Shrugging my shoulders, “Well, I mean. Come on. You know I’m right.”
“No, you are. I just. Yeah.”
“I’m not saying it’s my business, I just. This whole thing has really opened my eyes to so many possibilities. People deserve to be happy without the judgement from everyone else.”
The elevator opened up to our floor and we walked the hall to our room. Upon approval, we started getting settled into the room when my email pinged.
“Whore!” Tami then laughed as I sat down and eagerly opened my email on my phone.
TO: [email protected]
8:23 PM
Subject: Re: Leaving
Make it to the hotel...?
“He’s seeing if we made it yet.”
She rolled her eyes. “Aww, how sweet.” I smiled at her and she spit out, “Fuck you and your no emotions.”
“He’s just checking on me.”
“Yup. Clearly displaying he doesn’t care.”
“Stop over-analyzing everything, Tami. That’s my job!”
“No shit!”
TO: [email protected]
8:26 PM
Subject: Re: Leaving
Yes. Just got in. Made a few stops.
Condoms: check
Restraints: check
Bourbon: check
Hopping in the shower soon. You ready?!
I set my phone down and started organizing my things. Dumping my shower stuff in the bath, I picked out my clothes and Tami was digging in the cooler. My phone chimed.
TO: [email protected]
8:35 PM
Subject: Re: Leaving
I have well over two hours to go. Keep that pussy well lubricated...
“Jesus Christ...”
Tami glared at me, “Shut your whore mouth. I don’t want to know what that filthy man had to say.” I started belly laughing. “Wait, yes I do. Tell me!” I told her and she fell back on the bed. “Lucky bitch!”
TO: [email protected]
8:39 PM
Subject: Re: Leaving
Throbbing and wet all day...
Just thinking about last night makes me tremble...
Getting in shower.
I put my phone down and Tami put a song on from her phone.
As the words hit me, I shook my head at her. “Bitch.”
“Well, if the shoe, collar, restraint fits...”
I started laughing as we danced around the room to I Feel A Sin Comin’ On by Pistol Annies. We decided to take a picture of all my goodies. Laying out my bra and panties, the flogger, and the restraints, I took the picture and sent it to him. I didn’t type any message, just sent the pic.
“Ok. I have to get ready.” Grabbing my clothes, I scurried to the bathroom and turned on the shower.
Climbing in the water, I let the warmth run over me. My heart was already racing. A few calming breaths and I was a bit more relaxed. I washed my hair and then took my time shaving, making sure to leave no unwanted hair. After, I applied my shower scrub which left my skin extra silky. Washing my face was the last thing I did before stepping out. Drying off, I double checked my shave job and then applied lotion all over my body.
Stepping into the nude and black satin panties, I then clasped the matching bra on to my body. Looking at myself in the mirror, I was more confident than I had been in a long time. The scar here and a sag there no longer bothered me. At least not when I was with Gregor. I wondered why I responded to him the way I did.
His touch could do what no one else’s ever had. It sent me hurtling over the edge into a euphoric state that even my dreams couldn’t match. When I looked in the mirror I saw someone new, someone coming to bloom in her own. There was a renewed excitement in my eyes that had been gone a long time. The hardest part was finding the balance between home and work life and my stolen moments of submissiveness with my Sir.
Tracing my hands over where his had been and would soon be again, I was trying to seek the same sensations he’d created. It was impossible. I couldn’t get over how potent his touch was. He made me feel again; every nerve came alive under his gaze, under his touch. It had all started with the mental conne
ction we formed and getting to know one another intellectually before we physically discovered each other. Because I had let Gregor walk around inside my head, he knew my mind, therefore he knew what my body needed. At least that’s how I explained it all to myself.
Slipping on my maxi skirt, I stepped out of the bathroom. Tami was reading in bed and whistled at me walking about the room in just my bra and skirt. Ignoring her, I grabbed my phone. No email or text from him yet. I pulled on a thin sweater and did a spin for Tami.
“You should slut it up more.”
Smiling, “Well, I thought about it, but I didn’t want to leave one hotel and walk into another looking like a call girl.”
“True.”
“I’ll slut it up when I get to him.” Ducking, the pillow she threw bounced off the wall and landed at my feet. I threw it back and rushed into the bathroom to do my hair and makeup.
“Whore!”
Calling back, “I know, I know!”
I began the tedious process of drying and then straightening my hair before tending to my makeup. I didn’t wear a lot, just playing up my eyes. The deep eyes he loved to admire. When I was happy with the result, I looked at the time. I had at least thirty minutes to go. I repacked my shower stuff and got the rest of my things together.
Sitting on the bed, Tami and I stared at one another.
“Why am I so nervous?”
“Because you like him.”
“Shut the hell up.”
“You shut up. You’re hot. You’ve already done this with him. No need to be nervous.”
Sighing, I knew she was right. “I know. Agh! I hate waiting.”
“Impatient much?”
“Yes!”
We sat there a bit longer. I was constantly refreshing my email when a new one finally popped up. He was responding to the email with the picture.
TO: [email protected]
10:12 PM
Subject: Re: Mmmm
I’m 15 minutes from hotel.
TO: [email protected]
10:14 PM