Damian nodded. "That's good. I'll get by to see him this week."
"He'd like that."
"And the merger?" he whispered the private words so no one else could overhear.
She shook her head. "Slow as you'd expect with Spence and Uncle Yank pulling from opposite ends. They'll run up hefty lawyer bills but it'll get done."
He chuckled, the low rumble of laughter in his chest reverberating against her. "And his eyesight?"
"He doesn't complain. He never did. I think he's too busy hiding how he really feels."
Damian raised his hand, still in a brace. "I can definitely relate to his situation," he muttered.
"Any improvement?" she asked, gently touching his hand.
"Not considering how long it's been immobilized. I've had some physical therapy, too. It's August and the play-offs are in sight for September. I just don't know if I'll be playing in them."
He sounded resigned but more accepting than she'd heard him before. She wondered what, if anything, had changed in his mind but decided not to ask. She couldn't keep her distance if she let herself get wrapped up in his emotions.
They continued to move together in rhythm. He intertwined his fingers with hers and pulled her hand tighter against his chest. The gesture felt intimate somehow and, despite herself, Micki trembled.
"We took the paternity tests," Damian said, breaking the silence.
She nodded. "Carter told me."
"I'd have told you myself if you'd returned my calls. Carole is not happy. For some reason I can't fathom, she wants this kid to be mine."
"Good genes?" She strove for a lighthearted laugh.
"All I care about is whether you like what's in my jeans." He treated her to the sexy wink she adored.
"Maybe that's the problem," she murmured. "I like it too much."
His heartbeat slow and steady, both soothing and arousing, reminded her of all she couldn't have. Suddenly she jerked away from his warm body and solid hold, not caring if she drew attention, just needing to escape from all that she could never really have.
"We had our one last time," she said. Then Micki ran for the door before she changed her mind and indulged in another.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THE MINUTES OF THE CLOCK on the doctor's office wall ticked slowly by. Damian had met Carter and Carole at the office for the paternity results and they all sat in the cramped Manhattan space, none saying a word.
Damian hadn't seen Carole since their last discussion in Florida. Since Carter had taken it on himself to make her travel plans and pick her up at the airport, Damian had stepped aside. The other man deserved a shot at proving himself to the woman he obviously loved. Carole shot him daggers with her not-so-subtle glares and Damian figured she was royally pissed because he'd allowed Carter to take over.
Well, hell. The two of them had a strange relationship but damned if he'd stand in the way. Once Carole got over her obsession with Damian, she'd see Carter had potential. Damian glanced at the clock and wondered if the results would let him walk away and leave these two to figure out their relationship or if he'd forever be the obstacle between them.
He rubbed his hands together-the brace was now for bedtime only-and realized his palms were sweating. A sure sign of nerves. How could he not be stressed when his mind was juggling thoughts of his career and possible fatherhood. And then there was Micki…
All of which added up to Damian's mental and physical exhaustion. He hadn't been sleeping well at night. Nighttime was the worst because then not only was he concerned about his injured hand and the daily workout routines-which hadn't been as productive as he'd have liked-but thoughts of Micki surfaced and wouldn't leave him alone.
She haunted his nights in ways no woman ever had. With two major problems in his life, he found himself wanting to discuss his options with Micki. He wanted to hear her tell him that he would make a good father because when she said it, he believed. When he gave himself a pep talk, it was Micki's voice he heard, reassuring him and convincing him he could be a better man.
No woman had ever made him want to be a better man before.
"Are you all ready?" Dr. Kernan joined them, walking into his private office and interrupting Damian's thoughts.
Carole rose to her feet. In her high heels and skirt, she was the woman he remembered, dressed to impress. But he noticed that her suit jacket was buttoned over her skirt, leading him to believe she no longer had the flat abdomen he remembered.
At the thought, his stomach cramped badly.
"Frankly, Doctor, I think we wasted your time. I already know that Damian is the father and I'm so sorry time was taken away from your other patients to inform us of something we already knew." She shot the other man a pleading glance.
For a brief second, Damian almost felt sorry for her but then he remembered the hell he'd been living with ever since her announcement and her deliberate omission of Carter's part in her life.
Rick placed an arm around her shoulder and, though she stiffened, she didn't pull away. "Babe, you need to face the truth. It's a crapshoot.Fifty-fifty. Doc?" he asked, turning to the older man.
Dr. Kernan glanced at the folder in his hand. "As I explained the day we did the test, I extracted the fetal cells from the mother's blood sample and compared blood types to both possible fathers."
"As I said-" Carole began, but Carter cut her off.
"What do the results show?" he asked.
Damian held his breath.
The doctor met Damian's gaze, "I can guarantee you one hundred percent, you are not nor can you possibly be the baby's father."
Damian blinked, certain he'd heard incorrectly.
"That's not possible," Carole said, her voice trembling with pure fear.
Her reaction assured Damian he hadn't misunderstood. "Not mine?" he asked.
The doctor who'd delivered all of his sisters' children walked over and put a hand on Damian's shoulder. "Not yours" he said, loud and clear.
Damian forced air into his lungs. It wasn't easy and he realized he was dizzy. He rubbed his forehead.
"What are you saying?" Carole asked.
Damian glanced at Carter whose face was flushed red. The other man hadn't asked if he was the father. Carole might claim that she'd only been with both men, but Damian couldn't help questioning that. Carter wanted this baby and a life with Carole, for better or for worse, Damian thought wryly. Would the rookie be disappointed in life yet again? At least he couldn't blame Damian this time.
He drew a deep breath and rose before the doctor could announce the next set of results. "I think this is where I take my leave." Damian turned to his teammate. "Good luck," he said and, avoiding Carole's gaze, he headed for the door.
He didn't want to be around to witness either Carter's triumph or his humiliation.
It wasn't his business. Not anymore.
Carole's hands shook as Damian walked out the door without sparing her a glance. He disappeared along with her hopes and dreams for a solid future for herself and her baby. It wasn’t that she couldn't support herself. She could. She always had. And it wasn't that she was in love with the man. If love were the sole criterion for security, she'd lasso Carter and marry him today.
The doctor stood before them, that damning folder in his hand.
"So it's a done deal?" Carter asked. "It's mine?”
A wave of dizziness swept over her and she lowered herself into the nearest chair. The doctor came up behind her and eased her head down slowly until it rested between her legs.
"Easy" Dr. Kernan said. "Just stay in this position for a bit."
"Are you okay?" Rick leaned down beside her. "I already told you we'll get through this together and that was before Damian was out of the picture. We're gonna be fine, babe " he said in a reassuring voice.
A lump rose in her throat. Carter's words only made her feel that much worse. The poor man had too much faith in her, Carole thought. She didn't deserve for him to love her. She didn't deserve for him
to care.
It didn't matter that she'd learned her lesson about chasing fantasy instead of reality. It didn't matter that she'd learned the hard, way she should have valued herself and her body enough to hold out for a man who truly cared instead of settling for scraps from the big stars.
She'd sacrificed her self-respect long ago. After watching Damian walk out of the room, she now promised herself to start fresh. She'd make a life for herself and her baby and it'd be a better one than her mother had been able to give her. There'd be no men wandering through at all hours and there'd be nourishing meals on the table. She'd see to it.
Though her heart pounded in her chest, she was starting to regain her composure. Carole slowly lifted her head. "Let's do this," she said, wanting the official announcement over with.
Dr. Kernan flipped his folder closed. "Congratulations " he said, his gaze meeting Carter's. "You're the proud father-to-be."
"Woo hoo!" Carter pumped his fist in the air and the doctor laughed. "So is it a boy or girl?" Carter asked.
Dr. Kernan slapped Carter on the back. "I know you're excited but why don't we ask the mother whether she wants to know the sex?”
Carole was still focusing on taking deep breaths and trying mentally to get herself and her life in order. She was going to be the mother of Carter's child, and she was going to be a mother who set a fine example for her…
"What is it?" she asked the doctor.
"You're having a girl. Congratulations."
A broad grin spread across Carter's face as De. Kernan shook first his hand, then Carole's.
"You folks have been through a lot. I'd urge you to get some old-fashioned family counseling for the baby's sake if not your own. I can recommend some names if you'd like. Think about it and get back to me." He placed his pen into the pocket of his white coat. "In the meantime, good luck. I suggest you contact an OB of your choice and begin regular appointments if you haven't already," he said, his gaze focused on hers.
"Thank you," she murmured, embarrassed at how she'd been behaving, mortified at insisting Damian was the father when she knew he might not be.
The doctor nodded and walked toward the door. "Feel free to use my office for a bit if you need to," he said and strode out, leaving Carole and Carter alone.
"I always thought I'd have a boy," Carter said, still in shock at all of Dr. Kernan's revelations. His kid. His baby girl.
"Are you disappointed?"
For the first time, Carter heard uncertainty in Carole's voice and fear underlying her words. "Not disappointed. Surprised. Excited. Anxious, too," he admitted.
"Yeah. Well I think we both are." She paused and glanced down. "It wasn't that I didn't want you to be the father."
"Yeah it was." But to his surprise, he wasn't bitter. "In an odd way I get it. Fuller has money and prestige and with him you wouldn't have to worry about anything:'
She swallowed hard. "I was stupid. Up until the last second, I was an idiot. First of all, you should know that my job is a good one with decent benefits. We'll be okay."
"Babe, I have enough faith in myself for both of us. I'll go through arbitration and make good money. My stats this year have been phenomenal. My agent's sure things'll go well. By the time I'm up for free agency-"
She rose to her feet. "I can't count on you to support us. Baseball's uncertain. Look at Damian. He hasn't played in weeks. You can't know what's going to happen."
Carter knew her past and fear of living on welfare were behind her words, not a deliberate desire to hurt him. "I've learned that life doesn't come with guarantees. But I can promise to try and do my best by you both. And I will."
A tear dripped down her cheek. "You've become a really good guy. You deserve so much better than me."
"I'm the same guy who called the press about your pregnancy, remember? Don't go painting me with some angelic brush, okay? We're alike. We'll be fine."
"This baby could have been Damian's " she reminded him and turned away, obviously not wanting to face him.
He grabbed her arm gently and turned her around. "That was the past. We're looking to the future now. And I love you."
She shook her head. "You're the dad, Carter. Let's not push our luck and try to make ourselves into some big love story, okay? Neither one of us has done anything to deserve a happily-ever-after."
Rick cupped her cheek in his hand. "That's where you're wrong. We created this baby. That's the beginning of a new life. Hers…and ours."
But even as he spoke, Carter knew Carole was far from believing in him, in them or in their future.
NOT HIS KID. What had been the sole focus of Damian's life for weeks now suddenly had nothing to do with him. Damian wasn't sure how long he spent on the streets of Manhattan, dazed and confused by the news. Considering how fortunate he'd been in life up until now, he sure as hell hadn't expected to be sitting under a horseshoe when the test results had come in. He'd gotten lucky.
So why didn't he one hundred percent feel that way? Instead of the pure elation he should have been experiencing, Damian felt empty, almost as if a void existed where fear had once lived and breathed. Damned if he understood his reaction and he walked miles to sort through his emotions.
He glanced up at the familiar face of the building he stood in front of. Somehow during his walking and reflecting, he found himself outside the Hot Zone offices. Micki had been ducking his calls since before the charity event and he'd deliberately given her space after. He hoped with the baby mess behind him, they could go back to being…what? Friends? Lovers? Damian shook his head. Like everything else right now, he figured the answers would come.
A glance at his watch told him Micki would be at work and he headed inside to share the news. He bypassed the receptionist and headed to her office, stopping at her secretary's desk.
"How's it going?" he asked the woman who'd come to know him pretty well from his visits.
"See for yourself." She gestured toward the partially open door.
He glanced inside but didn't let Micki know he was watching.
"Come." Micki pulled on the dog's leash but the pooch remained stubbornly committed to her current position.
The dog lay on her back, spread-eagle on the floor.
"You spoiled, pampered mutt!" Micki growled in frustration. "I will not rub your belly every time I want you to listen to me. It took me fifteen minutes of massaging just to get you out of the apartment to poop this morning and another twenty to get you to leave with me to go to work!"
Damian chuckled. "Isn't that just like a lady? Give a hand and next time she'll take the whole arm."
Micki glanced up, startled. Once the shock evaporated, a warm glow of appreciation spread across her face.
It was definitely a look that said it's nice to see you, Damian thought. The feeling was definitely mutual.
"Apparently Noodle's from the upper, spoiled class."
He chuckled. "Either that or she's just missing your uncle."
Micki raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "He's crotchety and cranky and that's on a good day. Oh and did I mention he lied? The dog is not trained to help people. She flunked doggy school."
"But she loves your uncle for who he is."
Micki laughed, a light, appealing and definitely arousing sound. He hadn't realized how much he needed to see her-see her happy and enjoying life-until right now.
"You've got a good point. And I'm going to ignore her until she starts doing things my way. Either that or I’ll have to say-to hell with the rules and deposit the dog at the rehab facility because I can't take much more of this." She walked back toward her desk, motioning for Damian to come inside. "So what are you doing in my neck of the woods?" she asked lightly.
Too lightly, Damian thought In fact, for a woman who'd ducked out on him two weeks ago, she was acting awfully pleased to see him now. And that was the key word, Damian thought. Acting. The distance she'd been deliberately placing between them was more real than the smile on her face at the moment.
Micki took in Damian's conflicted expression. "What's going on?" she asked, suddenly on guard.
Micki had been counting the days even if she wouldn't admit it aloud and she knew it was time. There'd only be one piece of news Damian could possibly want to share.
"The test results are in and…"
Micki leaned over her desk, her heart racing, her throat dry. "And?"
"It's not mine," he said, obviously still in shock. "All this time and energy, all this fear and anticipation and the baby isn't mine "
"That's fantastic!" she said, rising and coming around the desk before she could stop herself. "Damian, this is the best news!" She wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tight because not only did she think he needed the support and physical contact, but because she knew she needed it even more.
"Yeah, it is." His hugged her back, his face buried in her neck, his scruffy half beard rubbing her skin.
God, he turned her on, she thought, wishing they could act on the feelings instead of having the all important discussion that was necessary. The one they'd been destined to have once he finally received the test results.
She stepped back and leaned against her desk. "You know I had no doubt you'd have made a great father if it came to that."
His lips turned up in a grim smile. "That was probably the one thing that got me through. Your faith in me when I had none in myself."
She shrugged, embarrassed her feelings about him were so obvious. "I'm glad to have helped. I'm also glad it turned out the way you wanted it to."
"Yeah. Funny thing about that," he began.
"Wait, okay? There's something more I have to say."
He shifted in his seat, getting more comfortable. "Okay. Shoot."
Micki drew a deep breath. "First I just want to make sure you realize we need to schedule a press conference of sorts or release a statement and get your words out there first. We want this story to end with your spin on it, nobody else's."
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