by T. K. Chapin
Finally looking up from the printouts, he folded his hands in front of him and took off his reading glasses.
“Sales are steady and it appears you haven’t had much turnover the last quarter. That’s good. But your labor is high. Why aren’t you cutting people when it’s slow?”
“Well, I try to take care of my people. That’s why the turnover is low. I make sure to give people the hours they need. They have people at home they’re caring for.”
He nodded. “That’s true, but we’re trying to run a business here, not a charity program. If it’s slow, send people home.”
I kept quiet. He didn’t understand these people like I did.
“Look, Mark, It’s not personal . . . it’s business. According to the data I see here, you’re a bit overstaffed too. We need to let go of Robin and Drew.”
“I can’t let those two go! They’ve been here the longest!”
“I know. That’s why their salaries are too high. Look, just let them go by the end of next week.” He stood up and started for the door. “I’m going to go do counts in the warehouse. Go enjoy your day off. Thanks for coming in.”
As he passed by me, he patted my shoulder. “Your job is safe for now. That’s good news for you. Try not to take this too hard.”
My stomach whooshed with nausea as I thought of firing Robin and Drew. Drew just had his third kid and Robin was paying for her kid to go to a private Christian school. They’d be wrecked by this kind of news. How could I sit down and fire them? My jaw clenched.
Walking out of the office, I walked over to Robin who was so kind to watch my kiddos while I met with Joe. She loved my kids, and I loved her son too. We were like a big family at Sportsman’s and it wasn’t going to be easy to fire anybody.
As I approached, she smiled. “How’d it go with the big guy?”
I shrugged and made sure to keep my tone level. “It was just a meeting. How’d they do?”
“Good. Good. Ester worked on her ballerina moves and Easton colored quietly.”
Smiling, I smoothed my hand over Ester’s head of hair. “Good. You’re going to be marvelous at that recital.”
She beamed. “Thank you, Daddy.”
Scooping Easton up into my arms, I grabbed Ester by the hand. “We’d better get going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. We’ll see you later, Robin.”
“See you. Take care, Mark.”
Walking away from her, I felt the weight of not only her future on my shoulders but that of her boy. These weren’t just a bunch of numbers in a budget to me like they were to Joe. They were real people with real families. How could I fire the people whom I had grown to love?
Chapter 16-Mark
PULLING INTO THE DRIVEWAY AT the in-laws’, I spotted Ed’s barn door open and the light on inside. He was always tinkering with something out in that barn for as long as I had known him and Melanie. I got out of the car and sent the kids inside to find Grandma. I ventured out to the barn. As I approached him inside, I must’ve been silent as his back was still to me. He was standing at the workbench and wrenching on what looked to be a small engine. I loved the smells inside the barn. His old wood work bench was covered in oil stains and brought a musky manly smell to the atmosphere.
“Hey, Ed.”
“Mark.” He sounded startled. Setting his wrench down, he wiped his hands off on an old rag nearby and turned around. Shaking my hand, he kept looking me in the eye.
“What’s wrong?” There was something off. He didn’t usually hold eye contact for so long. Maybe he was only startled, or maybe it was something more. I wasn’t sure.
“Nothing. You ready to drive her?”
The left corner of my lips curled up as I thought about getting behind the wheel. “After the morning I had, I’m more than ready.”
“Everything all right?”
“Yeah, just stress at work. Don’t worry about it.”
He clapped his hands and then walked over and grabbed the keys off a nail in the wall. A pink rabbit’s foot was on the key chain. He brought it over to me, holding it up slightly elevated as he spoke. “Now be careful with Zeda. She’s special. You treat her right and she’ll give you a ride you’ll never forget.”
“You’re an odd guy. Anyone ever tell you that?” I laughed, taking the keys from him.
He nodded. “Plenty. Take your time and enjoy her. Remember to not worry about the kids. Mel and I have the whole day planned. Enjoy it, Sonny.”
“Thanks again.”
Walking out of the barn, I went around the corner of the left side of the barn. Eyes set on Zeda, I walked past the old oak tree and up to the American classic. A silver 1971 Chevrolet Chevelle Super Sport Coupe with two gorgeous midnight black racing stripes down the middle. I felt as nervous as I did on prom night when I was standing on Jolleen Burker’s front porch.
“She’s what made America great back in the day,” Ed’s voice rang from behind me as I came up to the driver side door.
Nodding, I smiled back at him. “And you brought her back to her former glory. You did a great job on the interior, Ed.”
“Thanks.”
He left me and went back to his work in the barn.
I got in and fired it up. Revving the engine, I let the roar of the engine rumble my seat. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, igniting a long-forgotten freedom I once felt when I was younger. Putting it into drive, I slowly inched away from its place of resting and into the driveway. As I inched by my sedan, I couldn’t help but smile. Today, I wasn’t just a dad in a car running errands and working.
Today, I was free.
Chapter 17-Bethany
ESTER’S CRY MY FATHER HAD spoken of haunted me throughout that night and still plagued me into the next day. It was a little after eleven o’clock and I knew Ester, along with Easton, were currently out at my parents’ house while Mark went to visit the pastor. Though I was still unable to come up with a solid plan in my mind for Ester and me, I knew I needed to go to her regardless.
“I have to go take care of something.” Grabbing my purse off the small table in the hospital room, I looked over at Christopher, who set his book down in his lap. “I won’t be gone long.”
He shook his head, stood up, and set the book down behind him. “It’s fine. Take all the time you need. I’ll be here the whole time, Beth.”
I hated hearing my name on his lips. It wasn’t the fact that I was attracted to him or anything like that. It just reminded me of all the pain he had put me through in the past. Though I had healed from the wounds long ago, that didn’t mean there weren’t still scars. Though I had made a family with Mark, there were still memories that would never be erased. He had hurt Elly and me badly. I had to stop thinking about it though. I knew that. Being a follower of Christ convicted me to leave the past alone, to give him a second chance.
“Okay. I’ll see you later.”
Slinging my purse up onto my shoulder, I walked over to Elly. Grazing her cheek gently with the back of my hand, I said, “I love you, Elly. I’ll be back in a while. Mommy has to go spend some time with your sister. I know if you were awake, you’d understand.”
Leaving her bedside, I left her room. Setting my mind and my heart ahead, I knew I had a big road ahead of me with Ester. I had let my parenting slip into a place of darkness I couldn’t even fathom. I could still hear her sad cry for me, echoing and filtering down through me. How could I have been so blinded to the truth that Mark had insisted to me was happening? What was wrong with me?
Chapter 18-Bethany
AFTER PICKING UP ESTER, I decided to take her to the mall for a day of retail shopping therapy. She was only eight, but she had more shoes than I did. I figured she’d love it. As I pulled into a parking stall on the second level of the Northtown mall parking garage, I looked at her in the rearview mirror. To my surprise, she was laying her head against the window and looked as if she was miserable.
“Ester?”
“Yeah, Mom?”
“How woul
d you like a new pair of shoes?” My eyes fixed on hers, I didn’t want to miss the glimmer in her eyes once it all came together in her mind.
She shrugged. “Sounds cool, I guess.”
“You guess?” Suddenly, it dawned on me like a light coming on in a dark room. What was I thinking? I could buy her stuff to make up for the lost time? Glancing at her again in the mirror, I saw a tear run down the side of her cheek. I became fully aware of how hurt she truly was. It was my fault. With speed, I got out of the car and went back to her door. Flinging it open, I got down on a knee and grabbed both of my daughter’s hands. Smoothing my thumbs against the top of them, I caught her gaze.
“Ester.”
She blinked but didn’t say a word. A frown appeared on her face.
“You can talk to me.”
More tears came strolling down her cheek as her lips pulled into a frown.
Reaching up, I rubbed the side of her arm. “It’s okay. I’m here. Talk to me.”
Pulling her hands away from me, she wiped her eyes. “Yeah, you’re here now. But how long?”
Her words hurt, and they confirmed what my father had said up at the hospital and also what Mark had been trying to tell me. How could I have been so foolish? My eyes watered as I felt convicted. Cupping her cheeks in my hands, I looked narrowly at her. “I’m going to be around more often. I promise.”
“But what about Elly? She needs you too.”
“I know. But you all need me at home too.”
“Can you come to my recital?”
“Of course, honey. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I promise on my life I will be there. I already planned on coming to that.”
“Oh. Can you drive me?”
“Yes.”
She smiled, then a concerned look flashed across her face. “We have to tell Grandma and Grandpa.”
“Why?”
“They were going to take me. Now you can!” She smiled and leapt from her seat, wrapping her arms around my neck. “I love you, Mommy!”
Smoothing my hand over the back of her head, I lifted a prayer of thanks up to God for how easy it was to turn Ester’s attitude around. She was just a kid, which worked in my favor. Adults weren’t like that. Adults didn’t have the same ability to overlook flaws like our children do. My heart swelled with love, with thankfulness.
Chapter 19-Mark
THIS TIME, WHEN I PARKED at the church, I found Charlie outside trimming hedges. I got out of Zeda and walked across the parking lot to the shrubbery that lined the front of the church. He took off his sunglasses as he couldn’t take his eyes off the car behind me.
“Ed let you drive it, eh?”
I nodded. “He loves me.”
We both laughed.
Taking off his gardening gloves, he shook my hand.
“How’s it going?” he asked, turning back toward the shrubs. He put his gloves back on and began to cut more loose dead branches.
“It’s going okay. I’ve been getting the reading in, but things are intensifying all around me. With my marriage, with work, with literally everything.”
He nodded as he snapped a dead branch away.
“That’ll happen. God’s growing you through your experiences, Mark. You have to realize that God is always working behind the scenes to mold us and shape us into the children of God He wants us to be.”
“So he’s hurting me on purpose.”
Stopping his cuts, he turned to me. “Do you think by cutting away these dead branches, I’m hurting this shrub?”
“Of course not. They’re unsightly and need to be removed for the health of the shrub.”
He smiled and agreed with a nod. Then he went back to cutting.
“I see. So he’s not hurting me. He is simply using what is happening to shape me.”
“Exactly. The three days were just a way to help you get started. This is a lifelong journey. I’m sure you haven’t seen a huge difference, but you’ve noticed a big change on the inside.”
“I have. I feel more at peace about things and I’m able to see situations a bit more clearly. Without being so selfish, if that makes sense.”
“Yes, it makes perfect sense. One of the most beautiful aspects in growing closer to the Lord is not about what you get out if it but what you lose. Sin’s power is lost in the presence of God. The more we fill ourselves with the Lord, the less room there is for the devil.”
We continued to talk for another twenty minutes, but primarily about shrubs and about a pair of maple trees he is looking to plant at the church.
After our meeting, I took the drive I promised Ed I would take. I didn’t want to just drive anywhere. I wanted to head into the mountains of Idaho right across the state line. I had been up there as a kid with my grandparents to pick huckleberries, and I remember looking down over the valley with awe.
As I came up the lonely and slightly scary dirt road on the backside of the mountain range, I found a place to pull over. I got out of the Chevelle and leaned against her and peered out into the wilderness. Trees covered every square inch of my vision.
God spoke this into existence with little effort, I thought to myself as my eyes bounced from place to place across the forestry landscape. God was becoming larger in my life. Not only from my Bible reading, but by my prayer life and thinking life. It wasn’t until I made a change that I realized how poor my thinking life was. All those thoughts a person never utters but thinks has an impact on their life, whether they acknowledge them or not. That wasn’t a concept someone could tell me. It was a concept I had to experience and I was experiencing now.
Checking my phone, I saw I had no reception and it was going on three hours since I left the in-laws. Taking one last look across God’s creation, my soul smiled and I thanked God for loving me.
Chapter 20-Mark
ALMOST BACK TO MY IN-LAWS’ house, I noticed Owen’s truck parked out front of his lake house. His house was on the same road as Ed and Melanie, just further down. Bethany had mentioned they were working on restoring the house for their upcoming wedding. Not having seen him in a while, I decided to stop in and say ‘hi.’ We had become pretty good friends once he started dating Grace.
Pulling into the driveway, I parked beside his truck and revved the engine.
Soon enough, he came barreling out the front door to suddenly stop when he saw it was me.
I laughed then quickly turned the engine off and got out.
“How are you, man?” I asked as we met in the yard out front.
Letting out a chuckle, he stuck out a hand to shake mine. “I’d be doing great if I could get this floor level in the living room.”
“Really? I thought it was just some fire damage. What’s wrong with the floor?”
“It was only fire damage until I let the house go for so long without repair. Water got in all over and rotted a lot of the wood.”
“That’s a bummer, man.”
“It’s fine. It’ll just take some time. Anyway, why you driving Ed’s car around?”
Smiling, I glanced over my shoulder, then turned my gaze back to Owen. “He let me take it for a spin.”
“Man, I sure hope he ends up liking me that much!”
“He will come around once you’re part of the family. You know how he is. He’s always worried about his girls. Once, when Bethany and I were first married, she was over at their house until the wee hours of the morning for a party in honor of her aunt who was moving out of state. I asked her to come home because it was late and he got on the phone.”
His eyes grew wide. “What happened?”
“He told me to leave her alone and that she’s with family. You just have to give him time and show him who you are by your actions.”
Owen nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind. Speaking of Beth, I heard her ex-husband is in town?”
“Yeah.”
“Hmm.”
“What?”
Shaking his head, he raised his hands. “Sorry, didn’t mean to meddle. Just seems str
ange that your wife is hanging out with her ex-husband. I wouldn’t be a fan of that.”
“I hadn’t thought of it like that.” The hairs on my neck stood tall as I recalled all the time she had been spending up there and the fact that it was now with him. She had even spent the night with him in the same room. Suddenly, worry welled within me and my pulse raced.
“I gotta go.”
As I started back for the car, Owen caught up to me and grabbed my arm.
“Hey. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
I shook my head and looked at him. “No. It was a good call on your part. Thanks for being a friend, Owen.”
Patting his shoulder, I picked up my pace back to the Chevelle and got in. Peeling out backward, I dialed Beth.
Chapter 21-Bethany
AFTER THE MALL, ESTER ASKED if we could go see her sister up at the hospital. I was more than happy to take her up there. She and Easton hadn’t visited more than a couple of times over the course of the month she had been hospitalized. I had thought, after the last time Ester had visited, that she wouldn’t want to visit Elly again. She had begun crying at the sight of the breathing apparatus that was jammed down Sissy’s throat. Mark and I weren’t sure how she missed it the first visit, but she definitely saw it that second time.
As we walked up the sidewalk toward the revolving doors of the hospital, I stopped and turned to her.
“Remember Elly’s biological dad, Christopher?”
She shook her head.
“He’s the one on the tablet that calls on Christmas.”
“Oh, yeah! I thought that was Santa’s elf-helper.” He had mentioned he worked for Santa at the North Pole and that was the reason he couldn’t ever make it over to visit.