“Well, then we’ll call it my way of thanking you for the firecracker pancakes the other morning,” he compromised. “Then we can just spend all morning eating waffles and being naked.”
They kissed, and Kate’s heart soared. She had forgotten how good being happy felt. She had missed it, even if this particular happiness was tainted slightly by the looming sense of somehow betraying Aiden. “You’re on,” she grinned.
Chris stood and pulled off his shirt. As always, Kate found herself marveling at his perfectly sculpted abs. For all the junk he scarfed down, Chris was built like a male model. Occasionally Kate felt a little self-conscious when she was naked around Chris. Not that she wasn’t an attractive woman, and generally quite confident in herself, but Chris’s body was, as Holly would say, next level.
No matter how shy Kate felt, though, she couldn’t deny that Chris looked at her as though she were a goddess of femininity. It turned her on to know that he so clearly desired her, and she couldn’t help but give a little shimmy as she pulled her own shirt over her head, knowing he was watching her.
They both stood, staring at each other in their underwear. Kate laughed. “You first? Or me?”
Chris shook his head. “Kate, you know so little about hygienic kitchen practices,” he sighed. “You can’t cook in the full buff.”
“But topless is okay?”
“It isn’t great for splatter, but if I skip the bacon it should be fine,” he answered. He kept his tone airy, but a heavy doubt was anchored in his chest. He shouldn’t have told Kate about Jackson. What was the point of that? Far beyond sleeping with the woman he was being paid to protect, baring his torrid secrets to her was a new level of unprofessionalism.
Having sex was one thing; a fun way to kill the time while they were stuck in her apartment together, until he was relieved of his assignment. But Kate was still a woman in mourning, and she didn’t need the hired help weeping on her shoulder. She certainly didn’t need anyone falling in love with her before she was ready to move on. And despite what she said out loud, Chris knew she hadn’t.
He pushed the thought from his mind headed to the kitchen, pulling out the necessities for waffles: a whisk, a bowl, the waffle iron itself. Kate sat on a stool and watched him with great interest.
“You’re making me feel like a piece of meat, lady,” Chris flexed and posed. “Enjoying the view?”
“Don’t get a big head, buddy. It’s not because you’re half-naked. I would look at any man who was cooking for me with lust in my eyes.” She was enjoying the view, though. Besides the aesthetic pleasure of the muscles rippling on his back and chest, Chris glided around the kitchen like a nearly naked figure skater, cracking eggs with one hand while he whisked with the other.
When they had been at the café, Kate had thought that Chris was a natural protector. He reacted quickly, almost without thinking, to cover her when they had heard the gunshots. But now, seeing him in the kitchen—in just those sexy briefs, no less, she thought—she realized Chris was most at home in the kitchen. It was like watching a fish swim, and Kate wondered why Chris wouldn’t continue working in as a chef in a different restaurant after his friend died.
Soon, the smell of freshly cooked waffles was drifting through the apartment, and Kate’s mouth was watering. When Chris set a heaping platter down on the counter in front of her, she could hardly contain herself.
“Patience,” Chris said sternly, playfully smacking her hand away. He produced a bowl of strawberries and a bowl of whipped cream, setting them in a neat row next to the waffles. “Ta-da! Breakfast is served.”
Kate cocked an eyebrow. “Don’t we need plates, Bobby Flay?”
“Bobby Flay?” Chris clutched his chest. “You wound me.”
“It’s the only famous chef I could think of. Emeril?”
“Just…stop. And no, we don’t need plates.” Chris grinned wickedly. “If we’re going to be filthy heathens, we might as well go big or go home.”
Kate stood, and they faced each other, each with their thumbs in the bands of the only remaining clothing they had.
“On three?” Kate asked.
“Okay,” Chris agreed. “Three!” In a flash, his briefs were gone, and he stood proudly in front of Kate, hands on his hips. “Hey. Eyes up here, lady.”
Not to be outdone, Kate shook herself out of her bikini cut panties and lifted her chin in defiance. “Same goes to you, mister.”
Chris drank in her form with his eyes. Underneath her professional daily attire, she was hiding a sexy little figure. That’s what I like about her, Chris realized, the thought dawning on him as his eyes traveled from Kate’s toes to her navel before slowly returning to her blushing face. She hides the best parts of herself. She’s a haughty, brusque, kinda cold woman on the outside, but once you get to know her… Chris finished his thought aloud. “You’re fun to be around, you know that?”
Kate shrugged, and sat primly on the stool. “I always suspected. Now, are we going to partake in this delicious mess? Breakfast is supposed to be the most important meal of the day, you know.”
Chris pulled out the stool next to her, but didn’t sit. “Oh! I almost forgot!” He hurried to the apartment door, and Kate watched his exit with unmasked interest, appreciating the way his well-built butt flexed as he moved. “The cherry on top,” Chris called from the doorway. “Not literally, of course, because you don’t have any cherries in the house.” Reappearing in the kitchen, he dropped his sexy ass onto the stool and tossed the daily newspaper onto the counter.
“Ah, yes, the newspaper. An essential element of a balanced breakfast,” Kate noted. “Or do I get to roll it up and spank you?”
Chris pulled the paper back. “Okay, so I’ll just be in charge of handling the paper,” he feigned a grimace. “It’s for doing the crossword together, so just calm down.”
Kate was genuinely touched. “Naked waffles and the crossword puzzle?” she clapped a hand to her chest. “You definitely know the way to a girl’s heart.”
“See?” Chris said, picking up a strawberry and swirling it in whipped cream. “You are capable of giving out kind reviews!” He popped the fruit into Kate’s mouth and followed it with a kiss.
They spent a sweet, sticky morning together, and neither could remember a day starting off as beautifully as that one did. Kate admired how Chris filled in the crossword puzzle confidently with pen, and Chris found himself smiling at the way Kate curled her toes when she bit into a strawberry. When he picked her up to carry her to the bedroom, she wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him so deeply, he thought his heart might stop.
“Yes,” she murmured, on her back, nearly delirious with ecstasy. “Yes, yes, yes.”
She had never been so vocal during lovemaking, but her heart in that moment was so full of joy that she couldn’t remain silent. Chris was yes, her with Chris was yes, her new life was yes. Kate wasn’t going to run from happiness any longer.
18
“Those waffles were amazing.”
Chris smiled crookedly and opened one eye, peering at Kate. “The waffles, really? That’s what you’re going to compliment me on right now?”
“Everything was wonderful,” Kate allowed with a smile. “But I don’t think you could do that other thing for a living.”
Chris turned on his side, facing her. “What do you mean?” He ran a finger along her arm, tracing the curves of her body.
“I mean you’re a phenomenal cook, Chris. I really think you could have a successful career as a chef. I know the guy who does restaurant reviews at the paper, I’m sure he could set up some meetings with the right people-”
Chris drew his hand back abruptly. “I have a job. A successful career, actually,” he reminded her. “I’m kinda doing it right now, remember?”
Kate shrugged. “Well, yes, but you can’t be a bodyguard forever, right? It’s so dangerous, and unpredictable.”
“Yup. I like dangerous unpredictability.”
“Oh.”
Kate thought for a moment. “But…this job could take you anywhere, couldn’t it? To L.A. or out of the country, even. What would that mean for us?”
Chris avoided her gaze. “You think it wouldn’t work if we weren’t in the same zip code? That’s not very reassuring. What, you’d forget about me if I wasn’t around to take you out every night?”
“That’s not what I’m saying at all. But you can’t really think it would work if we were in different zip codes.” Kate stiffened. “I would be worrying about you all the time. You get paid to take bullets that are meant for other people, for God’s sake. How do you see that going for us?”
Chris scoffed and stared at the ceiling. “How do you see it going if I stay, Kate? Because I don’t feel great about giving up my job to stay in New York with you until you get sick of me, or decide I’m a rebound. I’m not going to change my life completely for a…” Chris hesitated, and finished his sentence in the worst way possible. “For a fling.”
Kate drew the sheet closely around herself. “That’s fair,” she said stiffly. “But I’m not willing to spend an unknown amount of time worrying about someone I care for, someone who is gone all that time by their own choice.” She softened, remembering the guilt she had felt over not telling Aiden she wanted him to stay with her. She took a deep breath and chose to be honest. “I don’t want you to go.”
“I could argue that you knew what you were getting into with me.” Chris could hear the words coming out all wrong, but seemed helpless to stop himself from picking a fight. “Are you just making this an issue so you have a reason to call it off?”
“No!” Kate’s mouth dropped open. “How could you think that?” Her stomach lurched. She had done it, she had told Chris what she felt and what she wanted, and he had thrown it back in her face like it meant nothing to him. Kate’s jaw clenched, and she felt herself pulling away from Chris.
Chris wanted to stop arguing with Kate, wanted to apologize, but the words poured out of him, unchecked. She only wants you close by so you can be her stepping stone from Aiden to acceptance, a voice inside him whispered. She wants you to uproot your life to fix hers. He clenched his jaw, matching Kate’s stony disposition.
“It seems more likely than you actually believing you can control everything. You don’t get to make decisions about my life for me.”
“I wasn’t! I-I just…” Kate took a breath and tried to calm herself down, struggling not to get emotional. “Okay, we’re clearly too heated to discuss this right now. I didn’t realize thinking you would get a real job was demanding so much of you.” As soon as the words left her mouth, Kate knew she had ruined any chance of deescalating the situation. She pursed her lips against an apology, refusing to concede to a man who clearly was looking for a reason to end whatever they had together.
They laid there silently, each thinking about what the other had said. Finally, Chris spoke. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”
“Obviously it was a bad idea,” Kate muttered, wrapping the sheet around herself and standing up to get dressed. “We started sleeping together when you were being paid to protect me, and now there’s no way for us to get any space. This whole thing was doomed from the start.”
Chris nodded. “You’re right. It won’t happen again, Ms. Burt.” He stood and left, shutting the door firmly behind him.
Kate stared at her reflection in the full length mirror, unmoving. What the hell just happened? She wondered. She touched her cheek, as if to confirm she wasn’t dreaming. We were eating waffles, it was a great morning, and then…how did we end up here?
She uttered a short, humorless laugh. So this is what dating looks like these days? She thought bitterly. I’ll pass.
In the living room, Chris had collapsed on the couch, arm over his eyes. What the hell are you doing? He berated himself. You can’t deny you were looking for any excuse to start a fight once she brought up staying in New York. He sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. It was true, but why did she have to bring that up in the first place? What had been the point of that? He was just a rebound for her, after all, and why in the hell would she expect him to give up his life as it was? For someone who probably wouldn’t want anything to do with him once the exciting, dangerous aspect of their relationship was gone, nonetheless?
You’re making excuses because you’re afraid, the voice in his head whispered, taunting him. Chris very purposefully ignored it.
She could do her job from anywhere, but I don’t see her offering to give up her fancy job and travel with me, he thought. And that’s because she knows it won’t last. She wants me until I’m no fun anymore, and then she’ll move on. Like every collector foster mom I ever had; loves you until the shiny wears off, and then sends you on back.
You’re being unfair, the voice argued back. You know that’s not true.
But Chris couldn’t take that risk.
19
Kate’s bedroom was spacious by most New Yorkers’ standards, but after pacing the room for over an hour, Kate felt like she was going to go insane. She hadn’t left the room after her humiliating confrontation with Chris the previous morning, and she was bored and growing hungry.
“Damn it,” she muttered to herself, crossing and uncrossing her legs as she sat on the edge of the bed, fidgeting. “Oh, shit. Okay, fine. I’m going. I’m just gonna go. It’s my apartment.”
Strutting far too casually out the door, she kept her eyes straight ahead of her, fixed on the refrigerator. She didn’t want to look like she was looking for Chris, or wondering where he was, or even thinking about him at all. Kate fixed herself a pot of coffee, and nibbled idly at a granola bar. Eventually she couldn’t stop herself from glancing around the apartment from her corner of the kitchen, but she didn’t see Chris. Of course, her view to the living room was obstructed, but still…
As if her thoughts had summoned him, he appeared in the doorway. Kate jumped, her eagerness to look unconcerned frazzling her nerves.
“Good morning,” he greeted her, politely but distantly.
“Good morning,” she returned, in what she hoped was an equally frosty voice.
Chris got himself a glass of water and downed it before turning to leave. Kate opened her mouth before she knew she planned to speak. “I’m going to the office today.”
Chris stopped and considered this. “Are you sure?” he asked, eyebrows raised. “All I can do is tell you that it’s not advisable, but ultimately it’s up to you.”
Kate folded her arms. “Yes, I’m sure. I’m not going to sit around anymore, just waiting for something to go wrong. And I’m going a little stir crazy, you know? I mean, obviously. Because,” she gestured vaguely between them.
Chris nodded. “Yeah,” he nodded. “Listen, Kate…” he hesitated. “What time do you want to leave?”
***
Kate insisted on them taking a cab to her office, and Chris readily agreed. It was easy to revert back to his detached bodyguard persona and avoid dealing with talking about anything personal. They sat silently in the back of the cab, and the driver looked back in his rearview mirror more than once, thinking to himself that he would need to turn on the heater in the middle of summer to deal with the chill coming from his backseat. About a block from Kate’s apartment, traffic came to a standstill.
“What’s going on?” Kate demanded, straining to see out the windshield.
“Uh, looks like a jam,” the cabbie said indifferently, and shrugged.
“Well, obviously,” Kate rolled her eyes. “But why? How long is this going to take?”
“Sorry, lady. Left my crystal ball at home.”
Kate sighed and leaned back in the seat. She tapped her foot anxiously against the door. “Maybe we should just walk,” she muttered. “This is ridiculous.”
Chris didn’t look away from his window. “It happens. It’s New York, right? This is why no one drives here.”
Kate snorted. “Obviously people drive here, or this wouldn’t be an issue. It’s ridiculous logic
, saying no one drives because too many people drive. That doesn’t make any sense, it’s just something people say.”
Chris turned to look at her. “I wouldn’t drive if I lived here. You don’t drive. Holly doesn’t drive. You know anybody who drives?”
Kate flushed with anger. “That doesn’t mean nobody drives! Look out there, there’s millions of people living in this city and I can’t possibly know all of them. And using yourself as an example is asinine when you’ve made it very clear that you wouldn’t ever deign to live in New York anyway, and I doubt the reason is the traffic.”
“I think my reasons were significantly better than traffic,” Chris’s voice grew louder. “You deemed them stupid, though, so I guess they must be stupid.”
“I never said your reasons were stupid. I listened to them, acknowledged them, and then voiced my own feelings on the subject.”
Chris snorted. “Wow. You sound like a robot, you know that?”
Kate whipped around to face him, eyes flashing. “That’s not what you said yesterday, when you were eating whipped cream out of my belly button!”
The silence stretched out in the cab. Chris gaped at Kate. Finally, the cabbie spoke up in a timid voice. “So…maybe you just want to walk?”
“Absolutely,” Kate muttered, shoving open her door. Chris followed her. Geez, she can really speed in heels, he thought, impressed despite himself.
“Kate!” he hurried to catch up with her. “I know I’m not your favorite person in the world right now, but I am still supposed to be your security, so if you could try not to run away from me, that’d be great.”
“I’m not! You’re just walking too slowly.” Kate made no attempt to change her pace, and Chris groaned in frustration. Without warning, his arm shot out and he grabbed her wrist.
The Book Critic's Bodyguard Page 11