by Grey, Helen
I couldn't reach much of him with my hands as his head dipped lower, his kisses caressing my lower abdomen now, and then along one hip bone and down along my right thigh. I was on fire, the flames erupting from embers deep inside me, catapulting my body into an intense sensation of incredible desire and yearning. By the time he parted my legs and situated himself between them, I could only reach his head and shoulders with my hands. The instant his tongue caressed my slit, I clenched my fingers in his hair and uttered a sound that issued from deep within my throat. Oh my God, the feelings, the sensations, the absolute ecstasy of his tongue swirling around my clitoris just about had me writhing beneath him.
His tongue left a trail of flame everywhere it touched. He teased and suckled, and then his lips kissed my lower ones, the lips protecting the very core of my being. His hands clutched my hips and lifted my buttocks off the bed of the truck. I wrapped my ankles around his waist, doing my best to encourage even closer contact. Soft, mewling sounds escaped my throat as I threaded my fingers through his hair, then stroked the side of his face until I began to feel the waves of pleasure overcome me. My hips surged upward with every long, sensuous stroke of his tongue. Then, his mouth focused on my clitoris, gently suckling, then releasing, suckling, releasing, his tongue soft, warm, and swirling around and around, he propelled me toward the cliff of the most exquisite climax I had ever experienced in my life.
White, blinding flashes of ecstasy pulsed through me along with intense contractions inside my pussy. His lips continue to caress the softest parts of me, his tongue gently licking, gradually slowing as my internal contractions finally ebbed. Then, lying completely satiated and feeling as if I didn't have an ounce of energy left, he shifted position and then laid alongside me, once again cushioning my head from the floor of the truck with his arm.
I knew he had to be as hard as a rock and ready for his own release, but when I tried to move, he murmured in my ear, his hand once again cupping my breasts.
“No, Jesse, tonight is just for you.”
I was going to protest, but felt so lethargic that I didn't even have the energy. We lay there, unmoving, for I don't know how long, just staring up at the stars. To say that I was utterly content would be an understatement. I didn't feel uncomfortable with the silence though, quite the opposite.
***
By the time we got back to the hospital, the parking lot was just about empty. The staff parking lot, located across the street, was also about half full. Visiting hours were over, patients sleeping, or trying to, and I knew that the hospital nurses on shift, if they were fortunate, would be able to take advantage of some of the downtime to work on their charting, on their MDS datasheets, update care plans, and medication charts.
I had worked the graveyard shift on numerous occasions but didn't really like it. Depending on the night of the week, the emergency room wasn't too busy after midnight, although we did get an occasional drug overdose, a car accident, or police dragging in injured and drunk brawlers.
My mind wasn’t focused on the activities of those working inside however, but on Matt. He pulled his truck up next to mine and then turned off the engine. Once again we were wreathed in darkness.
“You okay, Jesse?”
Was I okay? I pondered the question. Physically I felt wonderful, filled with a calm sense of satisfaction, the aftermath of sex, the physical closeness and support as well as strength that his attentions had given me this evening.
Emotionally, I wasn't quite as sure. Talking to him about my past had brought it rushing right up in my face again, more powerful than ever. Pandora's Box had opened, and along with it all my doubts, guilt, and more than one ‘what if?’
I'm glad that Matt and I had talked. I felt as if something had changed between us. I was no longer his mentor, he no longer the new guy on the block. We were equals, peers, perhaps even friends, or at least I wanted to think so. I still didn't know anything about Matt, or his history. I didn’t know if what Jeremy had said was true. It didn’t matter. At least not right now.
He knew some of my secrets and I wondered, and not for the first time since we had started the drive back to the hospital, whether I should have been so susceptible to his urgings. Not the sex part, that was as much my doing as his, but the sharing of my innermost secrets and emotions with him without any mental reciprocation on his part.
The plain truth of the matter was that as far as I was concerned, Matt was a mystery. He was my mystery man. Oh, while I knew a little bit about him and his past, at least in regard to his career, and of course, the fact that he was a Hotshot firefighter like me, I didn’t know anything about Matt, the man when he wasn’t a nurse or fighting fires. Not once had I ever heard him talk about his parents, any siblings, or even if he'd been married, or was. I doubted it. For one I had never seen a wedding ring, and for two I had never heard the inkling of a rumor about a wife. Then again, how would I know?
I turned to him and nodded. “Yes, Matt, I'm okay. Thank you for…” Here I went again. What was I thanking him for? Sex? We hadn’t even had dinner, which had been the original plan. I smiled and shook my head in the darkness. The best laid plans of mice and men…
“Are we going on another ride-along tomorrow?”
“Yes, but not until the afternoon shift. Diane told you about changing your schedule, didn't she?”
“No, but that's okay, it's not like I had anything planned.”
“Me either.” Another moment of silence, and then I reached for the door handle. “Well, thanks, Matt, for listening.” How awkward was that? I opened the door and slid down off of the seat until my feet landed on the asphalt. The interior lights glowed, casting his face in a light blue tinge, almost ghostly in nature. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said, shutting the door.
I had just turned to open the door to my Jeep when I heard my name called. I glanced back over my shoulder at Matt's truck, but it was still dark and silent. Besides, that hadn’t sounded like his voice. I glanced back toward the hospital and saw a figure with a white lab coat walking toward me. I frowned, stiffened a little, not sure who it was.
Moments later the figure stepped into the outside edge of the glow of one of the parking lamps. Doctor Linder. I wasn't exactly surprised to see him, because he worked different shifts, and he might've been running late due to a patient in the emergency room. Still, I didn't know why he was approaching me.
“Good evening, Doctor Linder,” I said after unlocking the door with my remote. The flashing of my tail lights cast an eerie glow against his jacket.
“Wait a minute, Jessica,” he said.
I wondered why Matt hadn't started his truck to drive off. I saw his shadow behind the steering wheel. He appeared to be looking my way and probably didn't see Doctor Linder approaching. I was just about to gesture to Matt, a wave goodbye, when Linder stopped in front of me.
“I heard about the incident this morning.”
His gaze passed up and down my soot-smudged scrubs, not that he could see that much in the warm light cast by the lamppost. I stood pretty much in shadow between my Jeep and Matt’s truck. “Everything’s okay.” I just wanted him to go away. I wanted to go home, take a shower, to climb between my sheets and enjoy nothing but a deep and dreamless sleep for the remainder of the night.
“It must have been terribly frightening for you—”
I turned to him and spoke rather impatiently. “Doctor Linder—”
“Frank,” he corrected.
I ignored the suggestion and turned back to my door with every intention of reaching for my door handle, opening the door and jumping inside and getting the hell out of there. To my surprise, his hands suddenly covered mine. I shot him a glance, frowning.
“Here, let me help you with that,” he said, pulling a small penlight out of his breast pocket and shining it on the door handle.
His other hand remained on mine. I tried to pull my hand away but instead of lightening his grip, it only tightened.
�
��After an incident like that, I can imagine you were quite frightened,” he continued. “Would you like to go out and have a drink, talk about it?”
My eyes widened. “No, I wouldn't,” I said. “All I want to do is go home, take a shower and go to bed—”
“I can help you with that,” he suggested.
I took a step back, pulling my hand from his grasp. “Doctor Linder, I've told you that I'm not interested—”
He glanced around. “What are you doing here so late anyway?”
“With all due respect, Doctor Linder, that's none of your business.” Once again, I tried to open my door. “If you'll excuse me, I'd like to go home now.” Imagine my incredible surprise when instead of moving away, Doctor Linder actually stepped closer to me, draping one arm around my shoulder and pulling me close against his body. I reacted. Nobody touched me if I didn't want them to, and I certainly didn't want him to.
I shrugged his arm from my shoulder and took two steps back, my hands balled into fists. I knew Taekwondo, and I would use it if I had to. The doctor grinned and took another step toward me.
“Jessica, I'm only offering you a drink, some time to unwind, and if you need any extra attention, I just want you to know—”
“The lady said no."
Chapter 3
I knew that voice. I glanced past Doctor Linder’s shoulder and saw Matt’s shadow looming over the doctor. Matt had somehow gotten out of his truck without making a sound and moved around the truck bed, up behind the annoying Linder.
Doctor Linder spun around in surprise, his mouth open, and his eyes wide. “What—who are you—?”
Matt took a step closer. “It's Matt Drake, Doctor Linder,” he said. He glanced pointedly at me. “And she said she wasn't interested. I suggest you leave her alone. Now. You're frightening her.”
Doctor Linder glanced from me to Matt and then back at me. Then he turned on Matt.
“Who do you think you're talking to, young man?” the doctor demanded. He puffed out his chest, hands on his hips, trying to appear threatening. “I am the head of the emergency department, and nobody talks to me like that!”
Matt didn't seem at all intimidated. I watched him offer a slight shrug.
“I think I just did,” he said quietly.
“You'd better back away right now, Drake, or you're going to find yourself in trouble. I can write you up for—”
Matt shook his head. “You can’t write me up for anything, Doctor Linder. I'm off-duty.”
Doctor Linder sputtered and then turned toward me, his expression anything but pleasant. “What's going on here?” he demanded. “Jessica, I was just coming to check on your welfare after I heard about the incident with the burning house this morning.” He gestured over his shoulder toward Matt. “I know you're his mentor for the next few days, but let me just warn you, that if I have to write him up for insubordination—”
“Doctor Linder, nothing’s happened and there's no reason for anyone to be written up for anything,” I said firmly. I tried to maintain my calm. “I appreciate your concern for my welfare, but I'm just fine. Now if you don't mind, I'm going home.”
Matt didn't move, but stood near the rear wheel well of his truck, his feet slightly spread, arms crossed over his chest as he glowered down at the doctor. This wasn't good. While Doctor Linder could be a big jerk, he did have pull with the administration. After all, good emergency room doctors could be hard to find and keep. Perhaps that's why some of the administrative staff, mainly the administrator—an old friend of Doctor Linder's from medical school, from what I heard—tended to ignore the complaints about some of his behaviors with the nurses in the hospital. He could have Matt written up, or generally make his life miserable. I didn't want to see that happen.
I glanced over the doctor’s shoulder toward Matt, gesturing slightly with my head for him to return to his truck. He remained where he stood. I sighed in frustration and turned back to Doctor Linder. “We have another ride-along with the paramedic crew tomorrow afternoon. After that, I'm cutting Matt—Drake—loose. But as far as I'm concerned, he has performed more than adequately, has done nothing that would require him to be written up—”
“And you should be careful of what you say, young lady,” he interrupted. The doctor stared at me for several moments, his gaze once again passing from top to toe and back again. His lips turned downward. He didn't like to be crossed, I knew that, but I’d be damned if I was going to kowtow to someone like him. I certainly didn't want to lose my job, but at the same time I wasn't going to let a bully like Doctor Linder intimidate me.
“I haven’t done anything wrong, and neither has Mister Drake—“
“We'll see about that,” he said. He turned and abruptly walked away, roughly brushing past Matt and bumping into him as he made his way back toward the hospital emergency room doors.
Matt watched him go and then turned to me.
“You okay?”
I nodded and sighed. “Yes,” I said, finally succeeding in opening my door. “Unfortunately, Doctor Linder fancies himself a ladies’ man, and when he sets his sights on a nurse, he doesn't seem to always understand the word no.”
To my surprise, Matt took a step closer to me. “He's been bothering you?”
I didn't want to get Matt into trouble with Doctor Linder, at least more than he already was, and I certainly didn't need any more drama in the workplace. I glanced up at him and smiled, as if I didn't have a care in the world. “Don't you worry about me, Matt. I can take care of myself, and I can certainly handle Doctor Linder.”
He finally nodded. “Okay then, I'll see you here tomorrow afternoon at three.”
I nodded, opened my car door and slid inside. The confrontation between Matt and the doctor could certainly have been worse, but any kind of confrontation with a doctor, let alone this one, was not good. Linder could be vindictive, and he had driven more than one nurse and more than a doctor or two out of his emergency department for the slightest infractions, most of which had to do with clashes in personality.
With a tired sigh, I started my car, offered a brief wave to Matt, and then pulled away. It had been a dramatic, trying, and surprising day. I felt exhausted, mentally and physically. My emotions continued to ride a roller coaster. All I wanted to do—all I forced myself to think about—was going home, taking a nice warm shower, and then climbing into bed. Tomorrow would bring what it would.
***
The next afternoon when I got to the hospital, before I was to meet Matt for this afternoon's ride-along, I was told by one of the ER nurses that Diane wanted to see me in her office. I didn't see Serena or Melody, which wasn't surprising, considering that Melody had pulled a double shift last night and Serena was off today. I nodded at the nurse, not thinking anything about the request to see Diane. As the DON of the emergency room department, we frequently had discussions, and today was no different.
I approached Diane's door, knocked gently, and received her reply to enter. As I did, I smiled. “Hi, Diane, how are things going this morning?”
She put down the papers she held, leaned back in her chair and shrugged. “You know how it goes; paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork.” She shook her head. “I was stupid enough to think going to electronic medical records would cut down on our paperwork, but upper management, and of course the state, and of course the federal government, always wants more proof—on paper—that we’re doing things correctly. Do more with less. Accomplish more with fewer nurses…”
I sat down in the chair in front of Diane’s desk and commiserated with her. Her job wasn't easy. It was hard enough running an ER department without having to deal with the politics involved in any hospital environment. Boards of directors, state regulations and inspectors, federal demands for proof that we were following regulations—it never ended. In fact, every year it just got worse. Several of the nurses upstairs increasingly complained that they spent way too much of my time dealing with documentation ad nauseum than they did with a
ctual hands-on patient care. I believed it. I said nothing, because we’d had this discussion before and there was nothing more that I could add that would be productive.
“I heard about what happened yesterday morning—”
I smiled. “Apparently gossip is alive and well at Santa Fe General,” I commented. “I'm fine, Diane.”
She glanced down at her desk, shuffled some papers around and pulled out two sheets of paper. “I know you are Jessica, but the problem is, Matt Drake got written up last night and so did you.”
I stared at her in amazement then shook my head in disbelief. “Doctor Linder?”
She nodded. “Care to explain?”
“He has no right to write either one of us up,” I protested. “We were both off duty—”
“Are you seeing Matt Drake?” Diane interrupted, leaning forward in her chair.
I saw the concern in her face and was quick to put everything into perspective. “We just went out for dinner,” I said simply. That wasn't really a lie, as the night before last night, we had gone out for dinner. She simply stared at me, gesturing for me to continue. “We went in Matt’s truck. When he drove me back to the hospital, he parked next to my Jeep. I said goodbye and then I got out and was in the process of getting in my car when Doctor Linder approached me.”
She frowned. “Why?”
I sighed. “Doctor Linder has expressed interest in me,” I replied bluntly. “Several times, but he doesn't seem to be taking not interested for an answer very well.”
Diane leaned back in her chair, gently shaking her head as she stared out the side window of her office. I knew then that she was very well aware of Doctor Linder's reputation. I didn't need to say any more about that.
“So what happened?”
“Doctor Linder invaded my personal space. Matt… Drake saw him and suggested that he leave me alone.” I paused. “Matt didn’t touch Doctor Linder,” I insisted. “He just told him to leave me alone. It was the doctor who grew angry, who purposely bumped into Matt as he left.” I gestured to the papers Diane held. “I don’t know what he put in there, but I’d like to see it and read every word of what he claimed happened before I even think of signing it. I’ll suggest that Matt do the same as well.”