by Hiro Arikawa
With the tip of her finger she touched my head, scratched behind my ears, softly stroked my throat.
For someone who wasn’t good with cats, she had come on quite well.
‘Satoru said to take good care of you. Since you’re his darling cat.’
I know. That I’m precious to him – that much I know.
‘I put out some food for you. I crumbled some chicken breast on top, too. Satoru said to pamper you today.’
If he thinks that’ll make up for leaving me behind, then he’s got another thing coming.
‘Satoru’s room is kind of small, but it’s a private room and very comfortable, not hospital-like at all. The nurses are all really kind, too. Satoru said he wants to spend his final days quietly.’
Noriko’s voice was trembling as she stroked me.
‘So Satoru said to tell Nana not to worry at all.’
Maybe I didn’t need to worry, but without me there with him it must have been just awful.
‘As soon as he got in the room he put up the photo of the two of you. Right next to his bed, just like at home. So he said everything’s fine.’
Nonsense. Which is better – a photo of me, or the real flesh-and-blood cat? The answer’s obvious.
Of course having the real me there – warm and velvety-soft me – is better.
I licked Noriko’s hand. At first, she hadn’t liked it when I licked her; she said my tongue was rough.
Since you’re crying, I’ll eat later, when I feel so inclined. I mean, you went to all the trouble of topping it with chicken breast and all.
Other than eating and using the litter tray, I pretty much stayed holed up in Satoru’s room.
Whenever I was alone in the house and the door opened, I leapt out, hoping it was him, but it was always Noriko.
I would let my tail droop and head back to Satoru’s room. I wasn’t at all embarrassed about letting it droop when I couldn’t see him. Because it was only natural to feel sad.
It seemed that Satoru had asked Noriko to take me for a walk every now and then, but if I couldn’t go out with Satoru I didn’t see the point of treading with the soft pads of my paws on streets covered with freezing white snow.
Satoru didn’t seem to get it. How important he was to me.
Every day, I stared out of the window.
Hey, Satoru, how are things where you are?
There was an awful snowstorm today. A total white-out outside the window. I couldn’t even see the lights of the city. Was it the same where you are?
Now it’s sunny. Not a cloud in the sky. But the clear, blue sky looks really cold.
Today, the puffed-up sparrows on the power lines set a new record for rotundity. There are some thin clouds and it isn’t snowing, but I’ll bet it’s freezing outside.
I saw a bright-red car driving down the road. The colour of the berries on the mountain ash, the colour you taught me. But I get the feeling the mountain-ash berry is a deeper colour, the kind that takes your breath away. Humans are good at making colours, but they can’t seem to reproduce the power of natural ones.
One day, Noriko walked into Satoru’s room.
‘Nana, let’s go and visit Satoru.’
Come again?
‘Satoru seems really lonely without you, so I went ahead and asked if I could bring you. The doctor said you can’t come inside, but when Satoru is going for his walk in the garden we can see him.’
Bravo, Noriko!
Noriko held out the basket and I scurried inside. We drove there in the silver van. Noriko had been using it the whole time Satoru had been in hospital, apparently, and this was the first time I’d been in it since the last journey Satoru and I had taken together.
By car, it took all of twenty minutes.
Satoru was this close by.
If it were just me and Satoru in the van, I would have opened the basket instantly and slipped out, but since it was Noriko I stayed quietly inside. Unused to thinking about things from a cat’s perspective, she put the basket on the floor in the back, so my only view was the van’s dark interior.
‘You stay here like a good boy, and I’ll fetch Satoru.’
As instructed, I waited like a good boy.
Of course I did. I’m a wise cat. I know what to do in any and all situations.
Finally, Noriko returned and lifted the basket out of the van.
The hospital was a tranquil place in a quiet neighbourhood. Beyond the parking lot was a soft, snowy field. The trees and benches were decorated with a thick layer of snow. I imagined the grass and flowerbeds asleep underneath.
There were chairs and tables on a roofed-in terrace projecting out from the building, and this place seemed to be used as a rest area on days when the weather wasn’t good. And then—
On the terrace, in a wheelchair, was Satoru.
I was impatient to leap out of the basket, but because Noriko was holding on to it, I refrained from unlocking the door myself.
‘Nana!’
Satoru had a down jacket on and was all puffy, but he was even thinner and paler than the last time I’d seen him.
But then, a bit of colour came to those ghostly cheeks. I don’t think I’m being conceited if I say that I was the one who brought that warm red glow to his face, but what do you all think?
‘I’m so glad you came!’
Satoru half rose from his wheelchair. Like me, he couldn’t stand the distance still separating us. I wanted to open up the basket and leap straight out. But Noriko still didn’t know I could unlock it myself.
I sprang into Satoru’s lap as soon as I could.
He pressed me close in his thin arms, unable to speak. I purred till my throat hurt, rubbing the top of my head over and over against his body.
The two of us were so very, very well matched, so don’t you think it was strange we were kept apart from each other?
I wanted to lie in his arms for ever, but pretty soon the piercing cold became too much for Satoru, in his condition.
‘Satoru,’ Noriko said hesitantly. Satoru knew what she meant, but found it hard to let me go.
‘I keep the photo of the two of us next to my bed.’
Um. Noriko told me.
‘So I’m not lonely.’
That’s not true. In fact, it’s such an obvious lie that Enma, the Lord of Hell, who pulls out the tongues of liars, would be laughing too hard to do any tongue-pulling.
‘You stay well, Nana.’
One more firm squeeze around my middle that nearly brought the stuffing out of me, and Satoru finally let me go. At Noriko’s urging, I stepped straight back into my basket, ever the good boy.
‘Just a second. I’ll put Nana in the car.’
Noriko left me on the back seat of the van before hurrying back to Satoru.
That was my moment. With my right paw, I flipped the basket door open. I sat down low in the driver’s seat and waited for Noriko to return.
It was almost an hour later when she did. There was a light dusting of snow swirling in the air, and Noriko was hunching up her shoulders against the cold as she walked.
The door on the driver’s side snapped open.
‘Nana!?’
She chased after me, but when it comes to playing tag, humans are no match for four-legged animals. I avoided her easily and raced out into the parking lot.
‘Come back here!’
Noriko’s voice was nearly a scream. Sorry, but I’m not going to listen to you.
Because I’m a wise cat, who knows what to do in any and all situations.
When I had reached a safe distance, I stopped and turned to look, focusing my vision hard on her flailing, distant figure.
Then I put up my tail cheerily.
See you! Bye!
I scampered off into the snowy landscape and never looked back.
NOW THEN. NO matter how proud a stray cat I might be, winter in Hokkaido is pretty formidable.
The snow in Tokyo should never be called by the same name as the s
now that falls here, so heavy sometimes you can’t see your nose in front of your face.
Here’s where all those walks I’d taken with Satoru came in useful.
The town cats I ran across were great at slipping into sheltered spaces to avoid the cold. And, of course, there were some heroic cats in the neighbourhood around the hospital as well.
That being the case, since I was always prepared to go back to being a stray, why wouldn’t I survive?
Using the hospital as my base, I located several spots where I could keep out of the cold. As might be expected with large buildings, there were many cracks and gaps – in garage and warehouse walls, for instance – that a cat could slip through. The areas below the flooring in people’s houses and underneath their boilers were both comfortable places. Sometimes, another cat had beaten me to it, but perhaps the severe winter cold helped foster a spirit of cooperation, and more often than not we would end up sharing the spot rather than disputing it.
I’d heard that the citizens of Hokkaido were particularly kind. Noriko had told Satoru that it was quite common for people to pick up drunks and travellers and let them stay in their home. Sure enough, I experienced how that principle operated in the cat world, too.
The local cats showed me where to scavenge for food, for example. Houses and shops where they’d give you tasty leftovers, and a park where a cat lover might feed you. There was a small supermarket near the hospital as well, and I often charmed my way into cadging treats there.
And, of course, there was always hunting. The cold made the puffed-up birds and mice move nice and slowly, so they were easy prey.
The cats around me thought I was a little odd for having intentionally given up the easy life for one as a stray. Why do that? they often asked. It’s such a waste. They concluded I must be a little mad.
But, for me, there was something more important at stake.
The snow began to let up, and night was yet to fall. I crept around to the side of the warehouse from which the hospital was visible and – yes! Just as I thought.
Satoru, wheeling himself in his wheelchair, was coming out of the front door.
Tail straight up, I scampered over to him. His face broke into a tearful smile. Then he said, ‘You need to go home now.’
You know what’ll happen if you try to catch me, don’t you? I’ll scratch you – up and down and all over – until you look like they could play checkers on your face.
Satoru could see I was wary, and said, ‘I give up.’ Turns out, when I escaped from Noriko, they had totally freaked out. Satoru was apparently so shocked when he heard I’d run away he broke out in a fever.
Noriko looked for me every day on the streets but, naturally, I was too stealthy for the likes of her to find me.
A few days passed, and when I turned up again in front of Satoru, despondently sitting on the terrace, boy was he surprised! His jaw dropped so far he looked like Donald Duck.
See? Didn’t I tell you I’d stay with you to the end?
Satoru reached out from his wheelchair to grab me. I flailed around like a freshly caught salmon and slipped out of his grasp.
When I looked up at him from a safe spot on the floor a few yards away, Satoru’s face looked like that of a child on the verge of tears.
‘Nana, you’re being foolish,’ he said. ‘You came to say hello, didn’t you?’
I am Satoru’s one and only cat. And Satoru is my one and only pal.
And a proud cat like me wasn’t about to abandon his pal. If living as a stray was what it took to be Satoru’s cat to the very end, then bring it on.
When Noriko heard the news from Satoru, she huffed and puffed and jumped in her car. I’m not sure where she found it, but she brought over a huge cage used to trap animals, left it in the garage and went back home. As if I would be stupid enough to get caught in a contraption like that!
For a while, I couldn’t trust the hospital staff either. Apparently acting on instructions from Noriko and Satoru, they tried to coax me over, with the sole intention of capturing me.
They saw me appear whenever Satoru happened to be on the terrace, only to leave as soon as he went inside, so I think they finally understood.
After that, I became Satoru’s commuting cat.
On days when it wasn’t snowing, Satoru would come outside for a short while, and we’d spend some precious moments together. I chewed on the crunchies and chicken breast he brought me and curled up tightly in his lap.
Satoru would tickle me behind my ears and under my chin, and I’d purr for him.
Just like when we first met.
‘Mr Miyawaki?’
The nurse was calling him back inside. She was about the same age as Noriko, but quite a bit rounder.
‘Okay. I’ll be in soon.’
Satoru held me tightly to his body. Whenever we parted, he would always give me a huge hug. I could tell from the way his thin arms clung around me that this might be the last time.
I licked Satoru’s hands, each and every knuckle, and leapt down from his lap.
By the way, when I became a commuting cat, some of the other cats I got to know received extra perks as well.
The hospital staff and visitors started to leave little snacks around the yard for me. Each one thought they were the only one stealthily leaving me food, but actually there must have been a whole lot of them.
I couldn’t eat it all myself, but took some to all the cats who’d been kind to me, to repay them.
It snowed for several days in a row.
When it finally let up, I sidled over to the side of the warehouse where I had a clear view of the hospital’s front entrance.
It was the first sunny day in a while, yet Satoru didn’t appear on the terrace.
When the sun began to set, Noriko pulled up in the silver van. Her face looked pale, her hair dishevelled.
I pattered up to her, but she said simply, ‘Sorry, Nana. You’ll have to wait,’ and walked swiftly inside.
IN THE HOSPITAL room, all Noriko could do was watch.
The waves on the ECG machine were getting steadily weaker.
She could just see the figure of Satoru lying on the bed, between the members of staff clustered around him.
As Noriko tried to slide between them, a nurse brushed against the bedside cabinet and two framed photos – a family photo with Noriko, and one of Nana – fell crashing to the floor. They were hurriedly retrieved and put back in place.
Just then, a cat’s mewling from outside resounded around the ward. Mewling and mewling.
‘Can I—’
Noriko spoke before thinking.
‘Can I bring in the cat? Satoru’s cat?’
She’d never made such an absurd request in her life.
‘Please – let me bring in the cat.’
‘Please don’t ask!’ the matron scolded. ‘If you ask, then we’ll have to say no!’
As if propelled by a cannon, Noriko raced out of the ward. Ignoring the No Running in the Corridor sign, she clattered down the stairs, two at a time.
Then she burst through the front entrance.
‘Nana! Naaana!’
Nana leapt out of the darkness like a silver bullet. He jumped into Noriko’s arms and snuggled into her body. Then Noriko raced back up to the ward.
‘Satoru!’
The staff were reaching the final stages of the procedure. Noriko elbowed her way through them to Satoru’s side.
‘Satoru, it’s Nana!’
Satoru’s closed eyelids quivered. As if fighting against gravity, they slowly lifted.
Unable to move his head, his eyes searched from side to side.
Noriko clasped Satoru’s hand and placed it gently on the top of Nana’s small head.
Satoru’s lips moved faintly. She thought she heard him say, ‘Thank you.’
The ECG screen flat-lined.
Nana nuzzled the top of his head up and down against Satoru’s lifeless hand.
‘I’m afraid he’s pass
ed away,’ the attending doctor said, and the matron added, ‘We can’t have you bringing a cat in here. You’ll have to take him out now.’
Suddenly, the atmosphere seemed to lighten. Some of the nurses even gave a small smile.
And then, as though something loose had finally been wrenched open, the floodgates broke.
Not since she was a little girl had Noriko wept with such abandon.
The staff members finished unplugging the monitors and took them away.
‘Make sure you take the cat outside immediately,’ the matron reminded her, before swiftly leaving the room.
Noriko’s throat throbbed, until she couldn’t weep any more.
Suddenly, she felt a rough tongue licking the tops of her fingers. Gently, ever so gently.
‘Let’s take Satoru back, Nana.’
As if in response, Nana licked her hand again.
‘Nana, is it okay for me to believe that Satoru was happy?’
Nana nuzzled his forehead against Noriko’s palm, and then once more began to lick, ever so delicately.
EPILOGUE
NOT THE END OF THE ROAD
PURPLE AND YELLOW flowers in bloom as far as the eye can see.
The earthy, warm colours of Hokkaido in autumn.
There I am, chasing a honeybee.
Stop it, Nana.
A voice sounding flustered. He grabs hold of me and carries me tightly in his two hands.
What if you get stung?
Satoru, smiling as he reprimands me.
Hey, it’s been a while. You look good.
I rub my small cheeks against Satoru’s arms.
All thanks to you. How about you, Nana?
I’m good – all thanks to you.
Ever since the day he departed on his journey, every time Satoru visits me it’s always in this field. This open expanse, with its riot of flowers.
But I wonder how many more of these winters I can put up with.
You’re getting on.
Don’t say that. Just because you left this world when you were younger than me, don’t get carried away.
A mellow sun shines but there is a dusting of snow fluttering in the air. Another winter is just around the corner.