by Sawyer Caine
I passed my hand over my eyes to shield them of the alluring native standing only a few feet away, his attention fixed on Frederick for the moment. I lay back against the pillow and concentrated on catching my breath. It must have been the liquor and the smoke. What other reason could I have had for such a vision, such a sensation as that? I’d been behaving as a man crazed or in a drunken stupor.
Frederick finally noticed my state of distress and left Nekai for the moment to take stock of the situation. “Alfred, are you ill?” he asked.
“It must have been the spirits we drank. I’m sure it will pass. Allow me to rest here for a moment, love,” I begged.
“I’ll fetch you some cool water and a cloth for your head,” Frederick promised, but I reached out and caught his hand in spite of Nekai’s presence.
“I’ll be fine, love. There’s no need. Play with the boy for a bit and entertain him. He’s quite taken with our toys, isn’t he?” I asked.
“He certainly seems so. Isn’t it refreshing how innocent he is? I wish all boys his age could still retain some of that childish charm. He’s quite the looker, isn’t he, love?” Frederick asked, raising his eyebrows.
I looked past him at Nekai who was batting at the paper lantern and trying to figure it out. “Yes, Frederick, he certainly is,” I replied. “He certainly is.”
*
Nekai stayed in our tent until nearly dusk. He was hesitant to leave, but Nekana finally forced him to do so. She apologized for his intrusion on our privacy, but we assured her that it had been our pleasure to host him for the evening. As she led him out of the tent, he pointed to the Victrola and jabbered to her about it in their language. Frederick rose and closed the tent flap, securing the ties to give us privacy. We turned down the lanterns and undressed for bed. I sat watching Frederick as he pushed his suspenders off of his shoulders and kicked off his boots. He walked over to me and sat down on the side of the bed. I smiled up at him as he leaned over to press a kiss to my lips.
“It’s going to be difficult to find the time to be alone together, isn’t it, Alfred?” he teased as he ran his hand down the front of my open shirt, pressing it against the crotch of my breeches.
“I imagine we’ll become very creative, won’t we?” I asked as I pushed my hips up against his hand.
“Let me put out the light, love. Our shadows are visible from outside, and we wouldn’t want to give the natives the wrong impression,” Frederick warned as he leaned across me to blow out the hurricane lamp.
We were cast into darkness within the tent, and he stripped away his breeches too and lay down upon me on my narrow cot. We fell to kissing and soft caresses as he liked. I was feverish with a molten desire that evening. I refused to admit the true reason behind my carnal state and instead concentrated on the warm, willing body that lay atop me.
We ended up together on the tiger skin rug. I pushed him down on his stomach and ground against him with complete abandon. I knew he didn’t like such rough love, but I needed it that night. I had to have it so. I didn’t want to admit it, but I wasn’t myself. I desperately hoped I wouldn’t do something rash and stupid and end up destroying what I’d worked so long and hard to cultivate with Frederick. His heart was gentle and faithful. I’d always known I had a wild streak in my blood, a need to conquest and devour. Frederick was not that kind of man.
We made love together. I moved over him so carefully, so gently. I gave and he took. It was always so with us. I needed it, and so did he.
“Frederick,” I sighed against the top of his head.
“Yes, my love,” he whispered back against my neck.
“Would you love me even if I was a bad man?” I asked.
“You are a very bad man, and I love you still,” he jested.
“I mean what I say, love. Would there be a sin I could commit that you would be unwilling to forgive?”
“None, whatsoever,” he gasped as I moved to the side and took him into my arms. “Why do you ask?”
“I want Nekai,” I sighed.
“Pay it no mind, love. I want him too,” Frederick admitted.
“You do?” I gasped in surprise.
“Very much so. He’s a fleshy snare, isn’t he? But you and I must both remember, he is only a boy. It isn’t their way. We must look but not touch, my love. If he arouses you like that again, just come to me. I know you love me, and you know I love you. We’ll use it to fuel our fires for each other. Nothing more will ever come of it, and you and I both know this. You do love me, don’t you, Frederick?” he asked, looking up at me with his deep, soulful eyes.
“Of course I do,” I whispered hoarsely as I bent to take his mouth and force my tongue into it.
“Then that is all I need to know. Now, we must get some rest. Nekana will wake us early in the morning,” he said as he rolled off me and slipped back into his cot.
I groaned as I climbed up off the rug and into my own miserable little cot. I wondered what the morning would bring, and if we would be successful. I wondered about my heart and its wayward ways. I wondered if Frederick had told the truth about forgiving me any sin. I knew, without a doubt, that I loved him with all my heart. I knew with just as much certainty, however, that the man in me wanted Nekai very badly.
And so it was that I drifted off to sleep with the sounds of the Orinoco River and the crackling of the fire lulling me to dreams of a certain native boy with dark, deep-set eyes and skin the color of mocha.
Chapter Six
And so it was morning again, and I was ready. Frederick and I had washed up in the stream that ran near our tent and down the hill to join the mighty river. Nekana had come to wake us at dawn, and we’d eaten with the shaman and his family in his hut. We broke down the tent and packed it up. Our gear and luggage was being loaded onto two pack mules that would be accompanying us on the journey. Nekana had informed us that her brother intended to cover a lot of ground that day, and he hoped to reach a certain spot along the nearly non-existent trail to the pyramid. About a third of the way through was a large waterfall. He hoped we could camp there, and he would be able to hunt game that had come to drink at the falls.
I’d not seen Nekai yet. He’d been absent from our meal that morning. I’d wanted to ask about him, but it seemed inappropriate to do so. The shaman and villagers stood watching as Nekana instructed the men loading our mules where to put the gear. I hoped the sturdy little animals would be able to hold up under so much weight, but they didn’t seem to mind. In fact, they appeared happy to be going on the journey with us. I was making this observation when our handsome guide decided to join us.
He didn’t really come from any particular direction. I simply looked up, and he was standing in front of me. He was dressed in his loin cloth as always, and his long hair was restrained in a leather thong at the base of his neck. The shaman embraced first his son, then his daughter and spoke quietly with them, giving them words of encouragement in their tongue.
I noticed another man who had joined the party. He was quite tall with a muscular build equaling that of our young guide. Nekana noticed me watching him with interest and came to tell me that his name was Paulo, and he would be leading the mules and helping Nekai if we had any trouble. He’d expressed an interest in joining us, and the animals were his so he had a vested reason for coming along.
I was pleased to have another strong man accompanying us. The more the merrier, I thought. Frederick and I hoisted our packs and took our place behind Nekana and Nekai. Paulo would follow in the rear with the mules. The women of the tribe sang and played their instruments as we walked along a well-trodden trail leaving the village and following the river. Nekai nodded and smiled to everyone we passed. He was obviously enjoying himself and seemed to be in good spirits. That made me hopeful.
As we made our way down the trail, a few straggling children and onlookers followed us for some distance but eventually, we were alone in the wilderness that was the Amazon. Frederick looked all around him, stopping every once
in a while to make notes. Nekana was vigilant as well, but she turned her pretty head from side to side to look for threats and dangers. Frederick was oblivious to everything but the plants and flowers we passed. From time to time, he’d pause to sketch like a wild man.
Due to the lush undergrowth, we were only able to maintain a snail’s pace. Nekai had all he could manage to blaze a trail for us with his machete as he hacked at the foliage on the overgrown path. I’d have lost us for certain, but he was able to keep us on that little winding trail though I could see that he was beginning to tire with the efforts. He didn’t give up, though. Nekana would spell Paulo with the mules when Nekai got too tired, and he would take over so the boy could rest and follow behind.
In this manner, we made our way forward. The heat and the biting insects were murder, but they didn’t seem to be bothering our native companions. When we stopped for lunch at noon, Nekana gave Frederick and me a little clay jar of noxious-smelling oil and instructed us to rub it on our skin and clothes. Though it smelled rancid, it did keep the bugs away from us, and that alone was a blessed relief.
I watched Nekai eating. He sat on a fallen tree near his sister and Paulo. It was strange how we’d segregated ourselves, naturally. The Europeans sitting on a rock and across the path, the natives, as though we all wished to stay separated from one another. It didn’t matter all that much to me. I was actually enjoying myself despite the heat and the insects. Frederick was as well. He showed me his sketches and explained that he planned to put them together in a book of sorts detailing our trip and showcasing all the interesting sights he saw along the way. I said it was a capital idea.
Nekai was anxious to be starting again. He was concerned over our slow progress and seemed to be worried that we would not be able to reach the falls before dark. Nekana interpreted his worries to us and informed us that we would all have to move considerably faster that afternoon. Paulo was supposed to spell Nekai after lunch, but our guide insisted on doing it himself and was driven with a kind of burning energy as we went forward.
*
The sun was directly overhead and in the thankfully few open places we encountered, it was simply unbearable. By mid-afternoon, however, it had begun to rain. Frederick and I were drenched, and Paulo was hard pressed to keep the mules up with us in the thick, sloshing mud. Our gear was covered with a tarp, but I was certain it should be waterlogged just the same. Paulo could not spell Nekai in this downpour for Nekana would not have been strong enough to keep the mules moving. Luckily for us, the rain was blessedly brief.
As meal time neared, Nekana fell back to speak with Frederick and me. “Nekai wants to keep going. He feels that we can still make the falls, though we may have to go a little way in the dark. If we don’t stop for supper now, we might be able to reach it at dusk. Would you both be willing to put off the evening meal for a bit longer? I’ll cook for us tonight when we stop to make camp if you will both agree to wait until then,” she offered.
“Will we be able to see to make camp in the dark?” Frederick asked.
“Paulo and Nekai will build a large fire to keep us warm and keep the animals away. I can make food while you men set up the tents. I think we should keep moving as long as his strength holds,” she answered, glancing up toward Nekai.
I followed her gaze and noticed our young guide seemed to be tiring out. His dark skin was covered in sweat and dirt. His strong limbs were trembling with the effort to clear the path, and his long hair was coming loose from the thong that held it back. Nekana left us and went to him, putting her hand on his shoulder to stop him for a moment. She lifted her canteen to give him a drink, and she pulled his hair back, securing it for him. She dampened her handkerchief with water from her canteen and used it to wipe the sweat and grime from his forehead. When she was done, she reached up and put her hand on the back of his neck and pulled his head down, pressing her forehead against his.
I’d noticed the natives at the village doing this, and I assumed it was a form of endearment. I found it quite touching and so did Frederick as he reached out and brushed my hand with his. I smiled at him and leaned toward him, stopping myself just in time as I remembered Paulo was behind us. When I looked back at him, I noticed he was regarding us in a most curious manner. I wondered if he’d seen that little interaction and realized it for what it truly was.
Nekai rested for a few minutes, then moved on once more. I was exhausted, and I could see that Frederick was beginning to tire as well. He stumbled more than once, and I had to reach out to steady him. He ought to have been sturdier than he was due to his rough and tumble American upbringing, but life in London had made him somewhat soft and spoiled. I supposed that was my doing. I’d pampered him lavishly.
*
Dusk came upon us quickly, and Nekana and Paulo lit some torches to help guide us. Poor Nekai had to rely on the weak light falling behind him and the full moon overhead. Before long, however, he turned to the group, his young face bright with a huge smile, and he called to Nekana in their tongue. She held up her hand and asked us to be silent. We stood still and that was when I felt it. The ground was shaking perceptively, and I could hear a thundering sound. We’d made it to the falls. Though we were still a considerable distance away according to Nekana, it gave me hope to know that food, shelter, and rest were within reach at last.
It was comforting to know, as well, that Nekai would be able to rest too. The closer we got to the falls, the louder it became and the more the ground shook beneath us. At last, we came into a clearing and Nekai stopped, bending forward and resting his hands on his knees. He reached up and pointed with his machete toward the right. Frederick and I stared into the darkness but saw nothing.
“The falls are just down that way,” Nekana said. “Let’s set up the tents while Nekai rests. Paulo can start the fire, and I’ll go for water. Would one of you come with me?” she asked.
“I’ll go,” Frederick volunteered. I wanted to go so I could look on the mighty falls that we’d been feeling and hearing for so many miles, but I knew I was needed in camp.
Paulo gathered wood and shooed Nekai away when he tried to help him. Nekai shrugged and sat down on a large stone to rest. His chest was still heaving with the effort of his labor from the day and he was filthy. I felt sorry for him and wondered if he would have to work as hard the next day. Paulo had tied the mules off to a small tree, gesturing to them and to the baggage on them. I presumed he wanted me to unload them, so I set to work. By the time Frederick and Nekana had returned, I’d unloaded the mules and begun to set up the tents. Paulo had a fire going and was building it up with all the dead wood he could find. Nekana watered the mules, and Paulo fed them some grain.
Frederick came to help me set up our tent, then he went to help Nekana set up the second tent. She, Nekai, and Paulo would all be sleeping in it, but they hadn’t brought as much as Frederick and I had. I arranged our tent in much the same way it had been the night before in the village. I put my cot against one wall, Frederick’s against the other with our folding tables beside the cots. I placed the hurricane lamp on Frederick’s table, then drug his steamer trunk to the foot of his cot. I did the same with mine. Then I spread the tiger skin rug on the floor between the two cots and placed the extra folding table near the door and sat the Victrola on it. Now the place looked much more homelike.
Frederick lifted the tent flap and came inside, pausing to wipe his forehead with his handkerchief. I found that sight so enduring that I leapt up and grabbed my love, wrapping him in my arms and swinging him about. I pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead, my heart overflowing with pleasure at having these precious, private moments with him. He gently pushed me away and gave me a sweet smile.
“Careful, we mustn’t carry on so when they might hear or see us,” he warned.
“I don’t care about it!” I laughed.
“Well you should, you scalawag,” he teased.
“Why should they care? These natives aren’t going to interfere with our
romantic pursuits.”
“Oh, Alfred,” Frederick sighed. “You’re incorrigible. Come, Nekana is making supper. She wants us all to go down and clean up at the waterfall and Paulo is going now.”
“You go ahead with him, love. I want to rest for a moment. Besides, if I go down there with you right now, I’m afraid that I will be moved to do something quite rash.”
“Something rash. Whatever do you mean?” Frederick asked with mock innocence.
“Something like this!” I exclaimed as I grabbed him again and pressed my lips passionately against his.
“Patience, my love. When they sleep tonight, I’ll come to your cot and you can release some of this pent up tension you seem to have an excess of,” he said as he nipped at the tip of my nose and slipped out of the tent to follow Paulo. I watched them heading down a barely discernible path that snaked off from the main one. Paulo carried a torch, and Frederick followed after him.
Nekana was kneeling in front of the fire, spitting some kind of dried meat that looked like large pieces of burnt leather. I could have cared less what it was at that moment, and Nekai apparently didn’t care if it was warm or not. He kept reaching into the bag and stealing pieces of the dried meat, cramming it into his mouth before she could scold him and swat at him with the wooden fork she held. He laughed and ducked out of her way. When he turned and saw me watching him, he smiled at me. I felt my heart stirring with the desire to walk over and wrap him protectively in my arms. Unfortunately, another darker, more dangerous desire also stirred within me. I ignored it and walked over to kneel down beside the fire and watch Nekana working.
After some time had passed, Nekai stood up and took a torch of his own, then headed down the path toward the falls. I fought the push to follow him. I couldn’t leave Nekana alone here. She noticed me watching him, however, and glanced up at the path.