Torwen was calling us all into the dining room for dinner. It was just after 6:00 p.m. and she had to get ready for work soon. We all sat in silence and I was holding back the tears. Torwen could see there was something wrong with me, but I just said I was very tired and needed to sleep.
I lay in bed wide awake that night, watching the door handle; I was afraid he might try to come into my room, but thankfully he didn’t. I weighed my options and there was none. The only option left was going back to my mother’s and that was a place I did not want to revisit. I had no money and only earned £55.00 per week at my new job as an office junior, and £20.00 per week went to Torwen for housekeeping. I was left with the grand total of £35.00 per week for travel expenses, toiletries, as I had to buy my own, and anything else a young woman might need. My options were limited to nothing. My fate for the time being was sealed.
This was supposed to have been my new beginning, my new life, I was so happy. Torwen was the most wonderful woman. I could never tell her anyway, as it would only break her heart and her marriage, and there was no way I wanted that on my conscience. I decided the best thing for me to do was keep out of Jason’s way, and not to give him any opportunity to assault me again. I avoided him at all costs. I would not watch TV if he was in the living room, and I spent all my time studying in my room for my exams.
The following Saturday I met Damien and I had the whole day to spend with him. We walked around the shopping center, and then made our way to a café for a cup of coffee. I never told him what happened; I was afraid it would put him off me and he would no longer want to see me, as by now, I was officially his girlfriend. We were both seventeen in just a few months. Damian had told me he was being scouted by Ipswich Town Football Club for their reserves team, and if they liked what they saw then he would be moving to Ipswich. My heart just sank. I could not bear the thought of losing him. I started crying and he assured me that I was the only girl for him and that he would write often and visit when he wasn’t playing or training.
That night Damian came back to the Prices’ house with me as they were away for the night on a business trip. Damian and I lay together on the floor kissing and cuddling, and that very night we took our relationship to another level. For both of us this was a special moment and a meaningful one. Eventually he had to leave and we agreed to meet the following Saturday. Damian never judged me, never made me feel worthless because I had nothing, he never reminded me of where I came from, and he always said you can be any one you want to be, Amelia, just follow your dreams. I loved him so much; he saw me, he understood me, and he still wanted me even though I was carrying enough emotional baggage to be stopped at customs!
One day I decided to try and contact Jake, as I was now free to do so and no one could stop me. I called the children’s home where Jake was still residing, but I was met by a barrage of excuses. It would unsettle him at this time, they told me. Still we were being kept apart. I would have to wait until he was released from the care system and then we were both free to be a brother and sister once more. After work one Tuesday I decided to take a long hot bath while Jason was working late. I lay there swamped in bubbles thinking about Damian and his possible transfer to Ipswich Football Club, when I heard the back door slam hard down stairs. I heard someone stumbling up the stairs, and that’s when it dawned on me that it was Jason and he was drunk again.
I hurried out of the bath, put my shoes against the door, and wrapped myself in a towel as quickly as I could. Before I knew what was happening Jason had barged into the bathroom and made a beeline for me. He grabbed my head tightly in his hands, slobbering all over my face. I could smell the strong stench of beer on his breath, and it was disgusting. I tried to struggle free, but he was far too strong for me. Then he ripped my towel off, threw it to the floor, and he pushed me against the wall. I was screaming at him, begging him to get out and not to do this, but my cries went unheard. He kept saying, “It’s just you and me now, Amelia, and I always get what I want.”
The tears streamed down my face, and I felt revulsion and disgust as his hands slithered over my body. I felt like a trapped animal once more. He pushed me to the floor and started to unzip his trousers, and then Torwen came in through the front door calling my name. Her voice sounded like the voice of an angel to me that night, saving me from a fate that did not bear thinking about. Jason jumped off me and ran from the bathroom into his bedroom; I sat on the floor curled up into a ball crying uncontrollably.
After what felt like an eternity but was only a few minutes, I pulled myself together, got dressed, and went downstairs to see Torwen, who was supposed to have been working. She said that she had not been feeling too good so she came home early. She made us both a hot drink and we sat talking at the kitchen table. She was telling me how happy she was, that I was like the daughter she never had, and she said Jason felt the same way too. I thought if only she knew, this would totally crush her world. She went on to talk to me about love and how one day I would find the love of my life like she had found hers in Jason. I knew there and then I could never tell her.
The next day I did not go to work and rang in sick. I was too emotionally distressed to go in. I needed someone to talk to, but I had no one. I did not want to worry Damian, the only good thing in my life, with problems; he had far more important things to be worrying about. I once again felt totally alone in the world. I was almost seventeen years old and as much alone as I ever was. So much for my new beginning, this felt like an extension of my past. I started to blame myself; it must be me, it must be my fault. I was at a loss as to where to turn. I decided the only thing I could do was save as much money as possible from my weekly wage, pass my O-Level exams, which were coming up, and then move out. At least then I would hopefully have enough money for my first couple of months rent to get myself started.
As the months running up to Christmas passed by I had saved a few hundred pounds, taken my exams, and managed to keep out of Jason’s way. By now Torwen had noticed the atmosphere between Jason and I and had started questioning it. She kept asking me if there was anything wrong, wondering if Jason and I had a falling out over something. I reassured her that all was well, and that there was nothing to worry herself about.
Christmas day was upon us and a traditional Christmas ensued. I was given a faux fur jacket, which I loved, and we had a traditional Christmas dinner with all the trimmings followed by an afternoon of the Wizard of Oz. I could not get into the spirit of Christmas at all. Jason kept staring at me through the corner of his eyes every so often, and he would look me up and down as if undressing me whenever I walked into a room. I hated him. I hated what he had done to both Torwen and I—he had broken my trust and reduced my faith in humanity once again.
Over Christmas I saw Damian and discovered that he had been given a place on the Ipswich Premier League reserves team. I was so pleased for him, but I also felt very sad. I felt like I was losing him forever. He was making it; his dream was actually coming true. What would he want with me now? He would have all the girls throwing themselves at him, and I feared once he left I would never hear from him again. We had known each other for eighteen months, and he was my first love. I could not imagine loving anyone else ever.
Surely, as if it was written, Damian was transferred to Ipswich Football Club, and it would be a long while before I heard from him. When he did come to visit, we spent our time together but it was soon time for him to leave again. We said our goodbyes at the bus stop, kissing passionately for a long time. We made promises to each other and the one promise I held on to was his promise to write often, once he had settled in at Ipswich Football Club. I watched the bus carrying the love of my life away and stood there crying for a very long time.
I made my way back up to the house and walked in through the back door as quietly as I could. I knew Torwen was at work and Jason was the only one in the house as the boys were always at ice hockey practice or out with their friends. I started walking up the stairs when Jason app
eared out of nowhere at the top of the landing. I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to go back down. He started walking after me, calling my name. I could tell he had been drinking again, and I made my way into the kitchen and shut the door behind me. Jason burst through the door like a madman. He grabbed me and pulled me into the hallway out of sight of the kitchen window. He pushed me on to the floor and started kissing my neck and groping my breasts. I felt sick once more as all I could smell was that putrid stench of beer coming from his breath. He pulled my leggings down, and I could feel his hands sliding up the inside of my legs. I pushed him onto his side and tried to run, but he grabbed my ankle, pulling me back toward him. I started kicking with all the strength I could muster and finally I caught him between the legs.
I ran upstairs as fast as I could, not even thinking about my leggings lying on the floor in the hallway. I put on a pair of jeans and my coat. I packed all my things into my sports bag and sat down to think about my next move. I was heaving and ran into the bathroom to be sick.
It was Friday night, and I knew Torwen would be back home by 10:30 p.m. I decided to wait for her and do the only decent thing I could think of, for her sake, and that was tell her the truth. She deserved so much better than him; she was so classy and gracious, a true lady. How she ended up married to this overweight, pot-bellied pervert I had no idea.
I waited and waited for what seemed like hours for Torwen to return. Earlier I had heard Jason slamming the back door and driving off in his old BMW. Eventually I heard Torwen coming in through the front door. I took a deep breath and walked down the stairs with all my belongings in my bag ready to leave once and for all. Torwen just stared at me. “Amelia, where are you going?” she asked.
I asked her to sit down and began to tell her everything. She never said a word the whole time I was speaking, as tears were running down her face as they were mine. I thought she was about to give me a big hug and tell me everything was going to be all right, but I was very wrong. Nothing could have prepared me for her reaction, not in a million years.
Torwen flew off her chair and slapped me so hard across the face, and then she just carried on hitting me. When she stopped, she looked at me very calmly and called me a whore. She told me I was a liar, that Jason was not like that, and that Jason would never assault anybody. I was made to feel dirty. Like I was at fault, she reminded me of everything that she had done for me, giving me a home, welcoming me into the family like one of their own. How could I spout such ugly lies? She shouted at me over and over again.
I was in total shock. I just wanted to die right there right then, and I could hardly breathe properly for crying so hysterically. I told her I was packed and ready to leave. I made my way toward the back door and Jason walked in, I could tell by the look on his face that he knew I had told his wife what he had done to me. He looked at Torwen and she asked him, “Is it true what Amelia claims you did to her?” He looked at me, his face bright red through anger. He consoled his wife with just the right words, telling her he would never do such a thing and that he had no idea what she was talking about. Torwen shouted at me to get out of her house, and she never wanted to see me ever again. As I was walking down the path she just kept shouting, “Liar, liar, liar!” I could not bear the thought that Torwen did not believe me. This hurt me so much, but there was nothing I could say to make her believe me.
I had a few hundred pounds in my pocket, a sports bag, which housed everything I owned, and nowhere to go. I had just one thought in my head: Your destiny is in your own hands now, Amelia. Do you go home to Mother for a while or find a hostel temporarily? Both options did not appeal to me in the slightest.
I knew there was only one place I wanted to be right now and that was the old ruin. I started on the two-mile walk to Jake and Amelia’s special place. I knew I would be safe there. I quite liked the thought of sleeping under the stars in my secret garden. I would anticipate my next move going forward the following morning.
For the first time, my destiny truly was in my own hands.
THE END
The sequel, “Amelia’s Destiny” is now available on Amazon.
Why not join me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/dgtorrens
I love to engage with my readers so please visit my website at http://dawnsdaily.com
Back to Table of Contents
About the author
Dawn G. Torrens lives in Birmingham, England, with her devoted husband and beautiful daughter. She is currently writing a collection of poetry due for release in April 2013.
Dawn is passionate about her charities the NSPCC and Barnardos, and a percentage of all her sales from Amelia’s Story and the sequel, Amelia’s Destiny, go to both of these charities.
“The child first and foremost.”
Back to Table of Contents
Acknowledgements
I would like to say a huge thank you to the following great people:
My husband: for his unwavering support throughout the creation of this book. I could not have done this without you. I love you with all my heart.
My mother-in-law Kamla: for taking care of princess at crucial points of my writing; this time was invaluable to me. Without your help I would not have completed my work for quite some time!
My brother-in-law Harj: for all his technical support. Your IT knowledge is phenomenal, not to mention you saved me a fortune—all greatly appreciated.
My dear friend Sam: for reading the first draft of my book and giving me some much-needed feedback.
My best friend Karen: for your advice and support from the beginning to end, and allowing me to use you as a sounding board.
To H F Pixel and Ares Jun: for designing my book cover which captures the very essence of what my book is about.
The Shropshire Social Services record department: for allowing me access to my care reports and case review reports.
I would like to thank FirstEditing.com for casting their professional eye over my manuscript and giving it that final polish.
And to my Twitter family: a bunch of great authors for their advice and support along the way—this was very humbling (you know who you are).
Back to Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Copyright
To my beautiful daughter,
Prologue
The B eginning
Llandewii
Colton Hall
The A rrival of Susie
Broughton Estate
Highfield House C hildren’s H ome
Breeton House (1st v isit)
Broughton Estate (back home)
Breeton House C hildren’s H ome
Maidstone C hildren’s H ome
Bryn Tyn
A D angerous E ncounter
Near D eath
A S urprise Christmas
The G reat E scape
Westbrook Hall
The Norwegians
Westbrook Hall (football event )
About the a uthor
Acknowledgements
Amelia's story Page 15