by Willow Rose
"If you'd let me go running, I'd be outside," she said.
"You're not going running; you're not supposed to do any exercise. The doctors at the clinic said that when they released you, remember? Not until you get your weight above ninety pounds. That was the deal. And you haven't kept that deal, have you?"
"Why would I?" she said with another shrug.
I felt like crying, just from looking at her small frame, her tiny, fragile body that seemed like it would break if I even touched her. I missed my happy sweet little Emily. I missed seeing her eating, seeing her playing and laughing happily. Where did that girl go?
Two years ago, she had fainted during Shannon's and my wedding, and we had taken her to a clinic for eating disorders in Orlando, but Emily hadn't wanted to work with them. They had kept her for three months before they finally had to give up. Now and then, I would threaten to send her back, but now that she was nineteen, I was no longer her guardian. She could make her own decisions, and so she did. I was just happy that she hadn't talked about moving away from home yet since that would be the end of her. She wouldn't be able to handle being all alone. She would just start exercising wildly again while not eating and then she would end up in the hospital shortly after. If she didn't die first.
The thought made my stomach churn. I loved that kid so much, and it tore me apart to know that she didn't want my love anymore, that I couldn't help her out of this strange state she was in. I kept waiting for it to stop, to phase out, but nothing happened. It was like life continued for everyone else, but Emily had stopped living. She simply refused to live her life.
"Did you look at the brochures I gave you?" I asked and looked at the pile of college brochures I had put on her dresser. It was obvious they hadn't been touched.
"Why would I?" she asked.
My eyes met hers, and I saw nothing but apathy. The doctors at the clinic had explained to us that her brain was sort of going in circles because of the lack of nourishment. Because she was so skinny, it was like she couldn't see any hope; she couldn't even think of the future. All she saw was her own reflection, and she didn't like it. All she saw was the fat that her mind told her she had on her body. All she could think about was wanting to lose more weight. With the weight she was maintaining right now, she was barely keeping it alive.
"Because you need to get on with your life, Emily. I told you we can pay for any college, as long as you stay close enough to live at home. I want to be able to keep an eye on you until you get better."
"So, that doesn’t really mean any college, does it? That means a local community college," she said.
"Or UCF. And only as a start, Emily. Once you get better, we don't mind sending you to a more prestigious college, but we need to know that you will be eating once you get there, that you won't just continue to starve yourself because that will end up killing you eventually."
I spoke with a tone as soft as I could muster. In reality, I just wanted to shake her. I wanted to yell at her and get some sense into that tiny head of hers. I wanted to get her to answer my questions about why she was doing this to herself because I didn't understand. I thought I had been a great dad. I had cared greatly for her. I had loved her.
Why was she doing this to me?
"You done? I want to get back to my show," she said.
I rubbed my forehead. "I'll leave if you promise to eat breakfast."
"Sure," she said. "I'll grab something later."
I stared at her, knowing she was just placating me. We both knew she was lying. She hadn't eaten much for months, and she was heading for another hospitalization if things didn't change soon.
Chapter 11
I was bigger than the father, which naturally counted to my advantage. But he was strong and didn't give up without a fight. He threw himself at me, and I couldn’t really get the knife in the right position. I managed to poke it against his jeans, but it didn't really go through the fabric. It was a terrible knife, one that I had bought at a thrift store thinking it would be able to do the trick. Thinking back on it, it makes me shake my head. I was so young and inexperienced.
But even without the use of the knife, I managed to fight myself up on top of the father and pin him to the floor. Holding both his arms down with my one hand and using all my weight to press him to the tiles, I punched him with my free hand. I had to punch him a lot of times and blood spurted out of his nose, but still, he was fighting me. I grabbed the knife and stabbed him in the shoulder while his wife screamed behind me. Blood gushed out of the wound, and I was overwhelmed to see it run out like that. Then I knocked him out. One last punch was all it took. I pulled out his belt from his pants and wrapped it around his neck, then tightened it as hard as I could. The wife screamed, and the man soon woke up again, only to gasp for air, his face red and bloated, the veins in his head and on his throat popping out. I remember the rush of adrenaline running through my body as he opened his eyes and stared into mine, squirming underneath me, fighting for his life. Having never killed before, this was extraordinary. It was just as I had imagined it while lying in my bed on endless nights, but even better. It was the feeling of absolute power.
Seeing her husband fight for his life made the wife stop screaming. Her screaming soon turned into an almost groaning whimper as the shock and realization of what was going on settled in her fragile body and mind. The father was still squirming beneath me, and I remember being surprised at how much strength it took to strangle a human and at how long it actually took before he died. That was when I began to contemplate what to do next. Because I wanted to stay on top of him, I wanted to see him die, look at his face and see what happened to it in the seconds when his body gave up—that was, after all, what I had fantasized about doing—but at the same time, I needed to get on with what I had started. The wife wouldn't stay where she was; she wouldn't remain in shock for long. She would go for the phone or a weapon to fight with.
As I turned my head to look at her, she backed up, whimpering, grasping for a kitchen knife. But I was faster than her. I jumped up and ran for her, then grabbed her by the wrist before she got to the knives. The look in her eyes as she looked up at me, while I held onto her arm, I will never forget. Such terror and fear, it made my heart pound.
I was amazed that she didn't scream louder than she actually did, and after thinking it over and over in my mind later, I have come to the conclusion that maybe she was in such deep shock and horror that she simply couldn't scream or even fathom what was going to happen to her. Her screams were a lot more like crying and whimpering, which suited me well in terms of the neighbors hearing us and calling for help.
I pulled her through the kitchen by the arm, then pulled out a cord from the wall, detached it from the lamp it belonged to, and used it to tie up her wrists and ankles. I grabbed a plastic bag and put it over her head and used cords to bind it with. I sat with her for a few seconds, watching her fight to breathe behind the plastic until she took her last breath, then dragged the two bodies up the stairs and placed them in the bedroom. I walked to the room next to it, where I found the two crying kids. I told them their mom and dad were sleeping and not to be afraid. They didn't believe me, naturally. Right before I put bags over their heads as well, I told them they'd be with their parents in Heaven soon. I sat with them till they stopped breathing. I held the girl's hand and stroked it gently till it was all over since she was the one who was most afraid.
I know that while reading this, you might think I am a monster, and I guess I am. But as I said, I am not the only one. If you take a closer look, you will find monsters just like me in places you would never have imagined. Most people walk around life wearing blindfolds. I dare you to take yours off and see the world for what it really is. See the evil surrounding you even in your well-trimmed suburban neighborhood.
Chapter 12
August 2018
I went surfing. Frustrated over Emily, I threw myself into the waves as if I expected the saltwater to wash away my sadness
and the overwhelming feeling of helplessness.
It didn't help.
I stayed out there for about an hour, catching one super glassy bomb after another, but having no fun at all.
So, I went to work instead.
I finished up the report on the kidnapping case and sent it off to the prosecutor, letting a sense of relief rush over me as I let go of the case. Now, I could focus solely on our new case, finding out who killed Mrs. Reynolds and her daughter and scared her son enough to run into the street. It was always with mixed emotions that I closed a case, since I worried that I hadn't been thorough enough, and it would absolutely kill me if a murderer was let go just because of a technicality.
My new case was going slowly, as I was still waiting for the two autopsy reports and the findings at the house. The boy was still alive but fighting for his life. He wasn't going to be able to help me anytime soon, even though I had a feeling he had been face to face with the killer himself. Only fifteen years old and already faced with the darkest evil in life. It was hard to think about. Almost unbearable.
On my way back from work, I stopped at my parents’ motel. As usual, the kids would be dropped off by the bus right outside their motel, and they'd stay there till I was off work. Usually, we would end up eating together, and tonight, my parents had even promised to throw a couple of fish on the grill. A little back-to-school celebration. My dad loved to go fishing in the mornings, and I hoped he had caught some good ones. It was grouper season, and those were my favorite.
I parked the Jeep outside in the parking lot and noticed that it was almost empty. I liked when the place grew quiet once summer was over. It was selfish because, of course, I wanted my parents to have a lot of business and make a living, but I absolutely loved when the motel was almost empty, and I could have my parents to myself. Just the kids and us. Just our family.
"Hi there, son," my dad yelled. He was coming out of the door to one of the rooms, holding his toolbox in his hand.
"Hi, Dad. Another clogged drain?" I asked.
"Nah, just fixed a chair. A leg had fallen off, but it hadn't broken. How about you? Had a good day?" He nodded toward the ocean where the waves were still crashing. "Did you get some this morning?"
"Sure did," I said. "Before work."
My dad laughed and patted my shoulder. "I’m guessing someone is happy to have the kids back in school, huh?"
I breathed in the fresh salty air, then exhaled. "I would be lying if I said no," I said with a chuckle.
"It's understandable you'd feel that way," my dad said. "You deserve a break. All those kids. Phew. I don't know how you do it."
"I'll let you in on a little secret there, Dad. Neither do I."
He laughed again and patted my shoulder. "I'll just put these tools away. Your mom is inside with Tyler. She picked him up a little early to spend some time with him on the beach before the older kids got back. I hope you don't mind."
"Are you kidding me? No, that's wonderful," I said, relieved. I had felt guilty leaving Tyler at the day care all day since he wasn't really used to being away that much yet.
"Good, good. Now, I have to go wash up before dinner. Caught a couple of gorgeous groupers this morning. Can't wait to show you."
"And I can't wait to eat them," I said, hearing my stomach rumble. As I watched my dad walk up the stairs to the private quarters above the motel, I couldn't help feeling so grateful for having my parents here to help me while Shannon was away. They truly were a blessing in my life.
Chapter 13
August 2018
I found my mom inside the motel's kitchen, standing at the stove, tasting something.
"Hi, Mom," I said.
"Jack! Come here and taste this sauce; tell me what’s missing."
I approached her and tasted it. "A little more thyme," I said. "Then it's perfect."
My mom grinned, then winked at me. "I knew I could count on my son to help me out."
"Where is Tyler?" I asked and looked around.
My mom turned around and pointed. Through the door came a woman, holding Tyler by the hand.
"Daddy-y-y-y-y!" Tyler yelled and ran to me. I picked him up and kissed him gently on the forehead.
"Hi there, buddy. How was your day?"
"'Nita."
"'Nita? What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, puzzled.
"He keeps saying that. We think it's a girl," my mom said and threw the thyme in the sauce as I had suggested. "Her name could be Anita or something close to that. We think he met her at the day care center, but we're not completely sure about that yet. Further investigation is needed."
My mom turned her head and winked at Tyler. I stared at the woman by the door. She smiled and, as her eyes met mine, I knew right away that they were familiar but, at first, I couldn't place them. Then it hit me.
"Diane?"
"Yes," my mom said. "Is it wonderful? Diane moved here just recently."
"I…I can't believe it," I said. "Is it really you? I haven't seen you since…well, how long has it been?"
"Since senior year," she said.
"Almost twenty years," my mom said.
"No. It can't be," I argued. "I’m not that old, am I? Twenty years since we graduated?"
"I am afraid she's right," Diane said.
"So…what brings you here?" I asked. "You moved here?"
She nodded. "About a week ago."
"She bought a house up on Suwannee Lane," my mom said and added salt to her sauce as well.
"Really?" I asked.
Diane nodded. "Close to the ocean and everything. It's small and needs a lot of fixing up, but I think I can make a home of it…eventually."
"Wow," I said. "That's…that's wonderful."
"Isn't it?" My mom said and grabbed the pot with the sauce between her hands. She smiled from ear to ear as she looked at Diane. I knew she had always been fond of her back in the day. I guess I was quite excited to see her too.
"She came here to ask for a job, so I invited her to stay for dinner," my mom said.
"A job?" I said. "Here at the motel?"
I felt a pinch of worry in the pit of my stomach. I knew my parents were struggling a little financially to make ends meet, but I also knew they could never say no to someone like Diane if she came asking for a job. But could they afford to have one more on the payroll?
"I know what you're thinking," my mom said, giving me one of her looks that usually meant I should stay out of it. "But I’m not getting any younger, and I could use an extra hand or two around here. We'll make it work, won't we, Diane?"
Diane smiled and nodded. "I sure hope so."
"Then that's a deal," my mom said. "You start tomorrow. Now, let's gather the kids; it's time to eat."
As I walked out the door, my mom stopped me. She leaned over and said in a low voice:
"Emily's not coming tonight either?"
I sighed and shook my head. "I’m afraid not."
Chapter 14
August 2018
She called him during intermission. It wasn't something she usually did, calling Jack in the middle of her concert since she was usually so preoccupied with her show and focused on doing it perfectly, but tonight, she needed to hear his voice. The pain in her hand was too unbearable, and she needed to talk to the man she loved.
Shannon rushed to her dressing room, found her phone, then cursed because her hand pained her so deeply before she found his number.
"Hi, babe," Jack said.
His voice sounded cheerful. In the background, she could hear the voices of all the children. The sound filled her with such deep longing it was almost unbearable.
"Shannon? What's up? I thought you had a concert."
"I do," she said pressing back tears. "I…I just missed you so much and wanted to say hi to you."
"We’ve just finished eating the most amazing grouper that my dad caught this morning," he said.
Shannon could hear the twins arguing in the background and realized she even
missed that.
What am I doing so far away from home?
"Did the concert go all right?" Jack asked. "Did something happen? Are you okay?"
She sniffled and swallowed. "Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just…really missed you that's all."
"I miss you too. You have no idea. And the kids too. Here, you can say hello to them real quick."
Shannon heard the phone moving and Jack yelled in the distance.
"Everyone! Hey, kids. Angela, Austin, Abigail, Betsy Sue, everyone, say hello to Shannon."
She could hear all of their little voices as they yelled hello Shannon and hello mommy to her and then she heard Tyler almost scream her name out. It made her heart drop.
"There you go," Jack said as he returned on the phone. "They all miss you."
"I miss them too. Terribly."
"Oh, and guess what? Someone else is here," he said.
"Who's that?" she said, wiping a tear off her cheek that refused to be held back.
"Diane."
"Who is Diane?" Shannon asked, a little confused.
"I told you about Diane, didn't I?" Jack said.
"I don't know, Jack…I don't remember…oh…you mean as in your high school sweetheart, Diane?" Shannon said, suddenly sitting up straight on her couch. The smell from the fresh flowers in front of her was a little too overwhelming and gave her nausea. Maybe it wasn't the flowers.
"Yes, that's her. You won't believe it. She just moved to Cocoa Beach. Isn't that funny?"
"I’m laughing already," she said. "And she's with you…right now? At your parents’ motel, eating with…our kids?"
Sitting in my chair?
"Yes," he said. "She came here looking for work, and my mom hired her. Then, she invited her to stay for dinner. They used to be close, back in the day. She had a troubled childhood and my parents’ home was a safe haven for her."
"You don't say."