B. E. V.

by Arthur Butt

  "Cool!" I beat back the urge to leap into one of those seats and start flipping switches.

  Kat couldn't resist. She threw herself down in the left-hand seat, and let eyes rove over the dials.

  The doctor's chair rose and entered the cargo bay. "Galley and head are all operational and ready to use," said Krumboton, hooking his thumb at the living area. "All the comforts of home. Here –" He withdrew a small disk from his breast pocket and slipped it into a slot on the control board. Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" blasted the cabin.

  "Ah, yeah. Can you switch it off, sir?" I said, wincing. "It isn't that we don't enjoy it," I hastened to add as he scowled at me, "but we can't hear you."

  "Oh, okay." He touched a button and the volume lowered but didn't disappear. "Better?"

  "Quite." I scanned the length of the interior and still couldn't locate a power source. "Does this thing have a motor? What makes it move?"

  "She is the motor, the computer, everything." He spread his hands wide to encompass the whole interior. "I have discovered the secret to negate gravity, and she draws her energy from the Earth's magnetic field," he boasted. He read the disbelief on our faces and exclaimed, "Here, take her out for a ride, you will see for yourselves."

  "Sure!"

  "Oh, no," Kat exclaimed. She shook her head and glanced from me to Doctor Krumboton. "I don't think it's a good idea. We might break something."

  "Ah, come on, Kat." I said to the doc, "We won't bust anything, I promise."

  Kat continued to press her point. "You think you can operate this thing?" she said, pointing to the control board. "You barely know how to drive your scooter without killing yourself."

  "Ah, Kat, don't be a troll," I protested.

  "Well –" she said to Krumboton, "how do we reach the surface anyway?"

  "No problem." Doctor Krumboton stretched across the seat and pressed another button on the panel. The machine slid forward until the nose touched a wall. Double doors slid back, revealing another room, a humongous service elevator. I began to realize the lab complex was larger than anyone ever imagined.

  "Freight lift," muttered the doctor as the B.E.V. came to a stop inside the compartment. He covered a light and a pad popped out. "Place your palms here, and repeat your full names," he said. "This will let the machine identify you as the rightful operators. I will set it on automatic; tell her what you want and she'll obey until you can drive her on manual." He covered another light.

  I put my hand on the pad; it felt warm and soft. "Hunter Robert Greene," I said.

  Kat set her palm next to mine. "Kathleen Edwinna Brennan."

  "Edwinna?" I asked in surprise.

  "Shut up," she whispered back to me, "it was my grandmother's name."

  Doctor Krumboton watched the tell-tales until they flashed from red to green. "Good, you are both imprinted now. B.E.V. will do whatever you tell her to." His chair moved toward the hatchway. "I will lift you up to the surface. Take her out and see how she operates. The sensors up top will inform me when you return, and I will bring you down. If for some reason I decide to take a nap," he yawned, "B.E.V. has the codes to do it by remote control. Ask her. Okay?"

  I gulped and glanced at Kat. She nodded back and crossed her fingers. "All right, Doc," I said. "Let's do this."

  The door of the B.E.V. closed and I felt a jerk. A few seconds later, another one told me we had reached the surface. Kat and I huddled in our seats motionless waiting for something to happen.

  "How are we supposed to see anything?" Kat complained. She pounded on the hull above the control pane. "There's no way to see out."

  "You're doing it all wrong," I said. "Let me try." I shouted into the air, "Hey, we want to see!"

  The hull in front of us dutifully became transparent with a view of the parking lot. It felt as if we were sitting outside on my front porch.

  Kat tapped the screen with her knuckle. "This is neat!" she exclaimed as she studied the scene outside. She said to me, "Where do you want to go?"

  "I dunno." I gazed around myself. We were in a garage. I think one of the outbuildings behind the lab. The overhead door stood open and I could see the evening sky with the stars shining. "Where do you want to go?"

  "Whatever we decide, let's do it fast," replied Kat. She checked her watch. "It's late and I've got a message from Dad – probably wants to know when I'll be coming home tonight."

  "Well then, maybe we should drive around the parking lot and –"

  "If you two bozos are finished," a female voice interrupted, "let's get this show on the road. Where am I taking you?"

  Chapter Three

  I bolted upright and stared wildly around the cabin. Kat's hand crept into mine. I checked behind us and said in a low voice to Kat, "Did you hear something?"

  "There's no one here," she whispered back. Standing, she crept into the cargo bay, opening lockers and peering inside, she scurried back and sat in her seat. "Nope, no one."

  "Show yourself," I shouted, "Who's there?"

  "Me handsome, do you see anyone else?" The voice was all around me, filling the cabin. "Your ride for the night – Bev."

  Kat snapped out of her seat again and stalked the whole length of the hold, searching for a person or hidden speakers. When she was finished she said, puzzled, "Bev? You talk? I don't see –"

  "Of course I can talk, girlfriend. You're hearing me, aren't you?" The voice sounded annoyed. "Now, tell me where we're supposed to go, or I'll do it myself. I've been itching to go for a stroll since Doctor Krumboton constructed me."

  "Uh –"

  "Oh, never mind." Bev zipped out of the doorway and hit the open parking lot. "Wee, this is the life! I'm Bad Bev, hot and pretty and ready for fun!"

  "Hey, where are you taking us?" Kat staggered back to her couch and strapped herself in. Demolished surface vehicles and trees flashed in and out of view before us.

  "Bev – Bev," I shouted, "SLOW DOWN." The machine dutifully powered to a crawl. "Aw – I was having fun," she complained. "Spoilsport, this was the first time I've ever got to go for a joy ride."

  "Well, let us know next time," Kat huffed, trying to push her hair out of her face. "I almost wet my panties."

  I heard a giggle. "Yes, ma'am."

  Bev's burst of speed took us halfway down the hill. I said, "We'd better be starting back – it's late."

  "Hey, we just began."

  "Bev," Kat said. "Anyway, we should have done this during the day. It's impossible to see a thing outside, it's too dark. Can you make everything lighter? You have night-sight or something?"

  "Sure, hang on," Bev replied. The scene around us brightened. "How's this?"

  "More – more, please," I said, squinting. "I still can't see – everything's fuzzy."

  The view grew clearer and clearer until our surroundings appeared as if it were a rainy day.

  "Enough," Kat said. "This is fine. At least we'll know if we are going to crash into a tree."

  Bev was heading back toward the lab, the long way, meandering around the main building, the garages, storage facilities, and through the parking lots. Off to my right we passed the side door Kat and I entered hours ago, and I saw my scooter. A flash of motion ducking down on the passenger's side caught my attention.

  "What the he –?" I exclaimed, pointing. "Kat, did you see someone move? There's someone there."

  She cupped her hands and pressed her face against the screen. "I don't – wait. I think it's the skel we saw this evening, and he has a friend. I knew he ran with a pack. Someone else peeked over the door too."

  I leaned over and stuck my face next to hers. "You're right – and they've been messing with my stuff in the backseat." I did a double take. "What the heck – I think they've taken out my cushions, too. Those lousy – let's get 'em!"

  Bev did a hard swerve and headed for my ride – the skels took off running down the hill.

  A beam of laser fire shot from Bev, striking the fender of my scooter.

  "Bev – NO! It's my ri
de you're aiming for. Don't –"

  "It has shifty eyes," she accused. "Oh, well –"

  Another flash of light stabbed ahead of us and hit one skel in mid-leap as he jumped over a rock. The man stiffened, spread-eagled, and disappeared in a greasy puff of smoke.

  "Bev – what did you do?"

  The other skel froze as if a deer caught in headlights, shock on his face. He tried darting behind a tree, and he too, vanished in a bust of brilliance.

  "Got 'em!" Bev replied in triumph. "You said to get them, right? I vaporized those rascals, shot 'em good."

  "I didn't mean to kill those men." I sputtered, shocked. "I meant – ah, I wanted to stop both guys, capture them, not smear 'em."

  "Oh," she replied in a little girl voice. "I'm bad."

  "Yes, you are," scolded Kat. I cringed. I'd heard her use the same tone of voice when I'd done a boneheaded stunt. "You're a bad, bad girl. It's okay to kill scavengers, they harm people, but skels aren't out to hurt anyone. You'd better check with us before you start shooting people, understand me?" She crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the deck.

  "Yes, ma'am," came the meek reply.

  "Let's go back to my scooter and see what they did," I said. "I hope they didn't break anything. I would hate to have to walk home tonight."

  Bev rolled back to my scooter and parked.

  Not only had the skels taken out my cushions, I found a bag loaded with all my tools sitting on the asphalt next to my shotgun. They set the rear wheel up on a rock, and attempted to jack the tire off, too.

  I tossed everything back into my backseat, ripped a gash in my hand in the process, and held my nose. Those skels reeked of some smell I couldn't put my finger on.

  "I think we've all had enough fun for the night," I announced. I took a deep breath. "Time to head back, Bev, awesome trip, though. Thanks."

  We rode the rest of the way in silence and crept into the freight elevator. I was beginning to realize what a dangerous thing Bev could be in the wrong hands. After we stopped, the doors closed behind us and we descended into the bowels of the lab.

  "I had fun, too," Bev said as we settled into her garage and scrambled out. "Are we going to hang again? I've been alone for so long."

  "It's up to Doctor Krumboton," Kat replied with a pat on Bev's hull. "We'd want to, wouldn't we, Hunter?"

  "Ah, yeah. Sure. We'll have to ask."

  "Fantastic," Bev said. A wiggle ran through her frame. "I'm young, I'm a free spirit! I want to explore the world and leave my mark on it, maybe take a cruise! I want –"

  "Okay, Bev," I said. "We get the point. I said we'll see. Don't tell the doc you shot anyone, though, otherwise I don't think he'll let us take you out again."

  "Oh, all right," she whispered back. "It will be our secret."

  Doctor Krumboton was waiting for us at the entrance of his lab when we arrived, a swarm of mechanical rats and squirrels scampering around the base of his chair.

  "Good trip? Have fun?" he asked, wringing his hands.

  "Uh, interesting," I said, "Yes, it was interesting." Kat said nothing. Bev was mute.

  "Good. I knew you three would have fun," Doc said. "It was a matter of getting to know each other." He nodded to himself as if he'd introduced us to a new friend.

  "Hey, Doc, why'd you build her to talk – for fun?" I could understand her responding to voice commands, but why have her talk back? It seemed – weird.

  "Oh no," Krumboton denied. "The government asked me to, part of my contract, you know. The response is a redundant system to verify she understood commands."

  "Oh." I think the doc had more work to do on this score. "Well, we gotta shove off," I added. "It's late, our parents will be worried."

  Doctor Krumboton appeared disappointed. "So soon?" His chair began floating back to his lab.

  We strolled behind him. As the door to the garage closed, Kat waved to Bev. "See ya."

  "Later, girlfriend," Bev piped back. "Remember to ask –" The door swished shut.

  Kat dug her elbow into my side. "Hunter, you heard her, ask."

  "Ouch, stop it. Uh, Doc," I said, rubbing my side, "can we come back again and see you sometime?" We rushed to catch up to his chair. "I'd really enjoy checking out some of these other things you've built and see Bev again." Kat nudged me and pointed to herself. "Uh, we both would."

  The doc beamed and nodded. He got a faraway expression in his eyes and his face went blank. "Salad."

  "What?"

  "Salad," he repeated. "Return tomorrow and bring me lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumbers," he ticked each off on his fingers, "I want to construct a salad." He asked with an awkward pause, "The Greys did not destroy all the vegetables, I assume?"

  "Why in the world do you want a salad?" Kat said, a flicker of amusement crossing her lips. She winked at me out of the corner of her eye.

  "I cannot remember the last time I ate fresh food," Doc confessed, a wishful tone creeping into his voice. "Why, it has to be, let me see," he tapped his chin as he thought, "why yes, eleven years ago. An apple, I remember it distinctly now – a Macintosh – a juicy red Macintosh apple. I have been eating frozen peas, potted meats, and instant potatoes since. Come back tomorrow and bring me vegetables to construct a salad with."

  "Yeah, sure." I had a sudden thought. "I don't know if it'll be tomorrow, though," I said. "I had'da swipe my Pop's key to get in. I don't know the next time I can snitch it again."

  "All the doors are locked?" Krumboton focused on his own doors, confounded. "Oh, I see what you mean," he said at last with comprehension when Kat pointed upward. "Well, I guess so, if there is no one about, safest thing to do I suppose."

  He brightened and snapped his fingers. "Wait." Doc fished around in the side pocket of his chair, pulling out stubs of pencils and wads of paper, finally withdrawing a key. "Ah, there it is," he exclaimed. He held out his hand. "Here, this is a master – it will open every lock in this place."

  "How did you manage to get this?" Kat asked. "My dad said only one was made and it was lost in the attack. It was lucky our dads made a spare for the side door because they did a lot of work after hours."

  "They gave it to me when I first came down here in case I wanted to leave and go somewhere, or was locked in." Doctor Krumboton chuckled and slapped his chair, "I guess I have been locked in. Stuck here for a while, haven't I, without even knowing it." He threw back his head and guffawed, "Shows you how many times I've gone anywhere."

  I accepted the key and shoved it into my pocket. We thanked Doc, and Kat and I rode the elevator ride back to the surface. Outside, Kat said, "Strange old man, I've never met anyone this screwy before. Are we coming back tomorrow?"

  "Sure, why not," I replied as we approached my scooter. "Don't you want to have another ride in Bev? It was cool, besides you’re the one who bugged me to ask."

  "Yeah, I guess I did, didn't I," she admitted as she plopped down into her seat. She made a face and wrinkled her nose. "What stinks? Someone cooking bacon?"

  I noticed it too, now she mentioned it, the odor I couldn't identify before, but the stench reminded me more of burnt ham. I hadn't realized what it was, maybe too busy, I guess.

  Across the fender of my scooter, a black oily mark streaked the top. "Must have been three men," I said. "Barbecued skel, and I thought Bev was aiming at my ride."

  "Uh-oh." Kat considered what I said. "Well, this is something else I'll have to scold Bev about tomorrow."

  We made it back to Kat's house, with one minor incident. A big, dark shape ran out of the shadows about a mile from her house and paced us, a jaguar by the glimpse I got, before deciding we weren't worth the effort to chase down for supper. Kat made donkey ears at the feline and laughed as the cat slowed and glared at us in the middle of the road.

  "Friend of yours?" I asked.

  "Maybe," she quipped back. "You know us Kats, we stick together."

  Mr. Brennen was still awake when I brought Kat home, and not in a happy mood. "Where have you two been?"
he demanded, pointing at an old fashion cuckoo clock on the mantel. The bird took the opportunity to pop out and chip once – it didn't appear in a good mood either. "You should have been back an hour ago." He waved a finger at my nose. "If you think you're going to keep my daughter out to all hours of the night, doing God knows –"

  "Mr. Brennen," I stammered, "I can assure you nothing –"

  "Daddy!" Kat stalked over to him. "After the movie we heard a rumor a skel or scavenger was seen on the outskirts of town. Hunter didn't want to take the chance of running into him, so we waited a while. Why else would we be so late?"

  Mr. Brennen's expression switched to concern. "Well, why didn't you call?" he complained. "I left two messages on your watch. I would have come into town and picked you both up, or followed you home. At least you should have replied and let me know what was going on. I was worried sick something happened."

  "It was no problem, Daddy," Kat replied with a flip of her hair. "We sat and talked." She raised her hand to her mouth. "I'm going to bed," she announced. I received a quick peck on the cheek, and her dad earned a warning glare, which told him he'd better not say anything more. "I'll see you in the morning."

  When I made it home, Pop was in bed, so I missed the lecture, which I was glad of, although I suspected I would receive one in the morning. I made sure I locked the door behind me and did a face slap when I realized I hadn't switched the electricity back on the fence. I ran out, reset it, and stuck Pop's key into the empty sugar bowl where he kept valuables.

  I was glad Pop was asleep. I'm a terrible liar, Kat is much better at it than I am. Whenever we're together I leave the stories up to her. I stutter and study my feet or hands. Pop always knows when I'm not telling the truth. Kat could stare you straight in the eye and convince you red is blue. I've seen her do it.

  The next morning I was first up, which was rare; Pop usually had to shake me awake and scream my name. I sprang out of bed, fed the chickens, milked the cows, and chopped some cordwood. (We didn't need it. Our power plant supplies us all the electricity we needed, my job was to feed it water every once and a while.) By the time Pop was awake and drank his first cup of coffee, I had finished my chores for the day.