by Vivien Vale
And I’m desperate to have one.
Maybe chapter one starts with how to survive turning eighteen. Yes, that would be a good starting point.
It could be given to you on your eighteenth birthday. Would it matter that you’d already committed a whole lot of mistakes by then?
The second chapter would be about dating etiquette. And if everyone read the book, they would know what to do.
Of course, I’m not really dating Daniel. It’s not like we met on an online dating service or at a club and wanted to get to know each other.
Quite the opposite. I don’t think he’s really looking for a relationship, and deep down, I’m not either.
But as we both are acutely aware, the biological clock is ticking—more for me than for Daniel. I mean, men can have babies at any old age.
I’m pretty sure I read about a guy who was something like eighty and had fathered triplets. Crazy, I know.
My eyes go back to the text.
What did you have in mind?
I re-read the message and then delete it. No, it’s too…I don’t know, too something.
Where will you take me to this time?
I squint. It reads a little better.
I sigh.
Should I Google my response? Would I find the answer?
Without further thought or hesitation, I decide to press send. I’ve agonized over this little text for long enough. And it’s not like I’m trying to come off any certain way because we’re going to be together in any real sense of the word, right?
This is just a getting-to-know-you experiment to make sure we want to take this baby bargain all the way.
Instantly, his reply comes back.
It’s a surprise xx
There are multiple emoji faces accompanying his words.
I chuckle. He’s speaking my language now.
In that case, I’ll check my schedule.
Of course, I don’t actually have to check my schedule. I mean, I’ve got nothing planned. It’s not like I’ve got admirers beating down my door or engagements for the next six months.
On the contrary, my calendar looks rather sad and sorry with no special plans marked on it.
As I’m about to let Daniel know I’ve checked and I’m free, another message comes in.
What? So soon already?
When I open it, I realize it’s from Jenna.
Hey, babe, don’t forget Jayden’s big birthday party this weekend xox.
Damn. I nearly had forgotten. Well, truth be told, if she hadn’t just sent me a reminder, I would have agreed to go away with Daniel.
So much for those plans. I’ve got to go the family event.
Back to Daniel’s message thread.
I would really love to see you this weekend, but sorry—no can do. I’ve got something planned already.
No sooner have I pressed send than the little device rings.
I look around. No one’s looking in my direction.
“Hello?” I keep my voice down so as not draw any attention to myself.
“I can’t believe you’re not free this weekend.” Daniel’s voice is not his usual bright one. In fact, it’s a little flat.
I feel flattered and about as disappointed as Daniel sounds. But there’s nothing I’m able to do about it. Family comes first.
What’s more, my life wouldn’t be worth living if I don’t go to Jayden’s birthday. Not only would my parents give me a really hard time, I don’t think Jenna would ever speak to me again. The rest of my family would be no better.
Best to just accept my fate for this weekend. Hopefully, there will be other ones to spend with Daniel.
“What’s so important you can’t come away with me?” Daniel asks. “You’re not going out with someone else, are you?”
I shake my head until I remember I’m on the phone.
“No,” I quickly reassure Daniel. I can’t believe he would even think that of me. Does he think I’m fucking shopping around for baby juice or something? “Of course not.”
“What is it, then? You going to the hairdresser? Girls’ night out? What?”
Wow, I can’t believe he’s so upset. It makes me smile, in spite of myself.
“It’s my cousin Jenna. It’s her son, Jayden’s, birthday party. The whole family will be there. I’m expected to go. I’m really sorry.”
And I mean it. I am sorry I won’t get to see him this weekend. Whatever his surprise is, I’m sure I would have loved it.
Now he’s silent.
“You still there?” I ask, wondering if he just hung up on me.
“You know,” I hear him say slowly, and I stop daydreaming. I was wrong. He hasn’t hung up on me. “It’s such a shame we won’t see each other. I was really looking forward to spending more time with you. I totally respect that family comes first, though.” He pauses. “But you know I’m free this weekend…”
Is that some bait he’s throwing out? Should I take it?
Is he seriously suggesting I ask him to come to a family gathering, like meet my mom and dad?
Oh, my god. Now things are moving really fast. His statement can mean only one thing, right?
But if I bring him, then what? My thoughts tumble over each other. In my mind, I can already see my cousins drooling over him, my mother planning the wedding, and Dad kidnapping him to check him out properly.
I mean, the minute anyone other than Jenna gets wind of me allegedly dating, there’ll be cartwheels, champagne corks popping, and talk of the dreaded W and B words.
Is Daniel really ready to meet my family? I mean, we’ve not even agreed if this is going to work and how it’s going to work.
What if, after meeting my family, he decides not to go ahead?
It’s a silly thought, but I can’t shake it. I mean, of course I love my family, I really do. But that doesn’t mean others will feel the same way.
The way Dad can sometimes go on and on about a game.
And Mom, well, she’s just Mom, and she’ll offer him all kinds of food. And if he says no, she’ll try something else because, you know if you’re not eating, there must be something wrong. The choices as far as she’s concerned are either you’re sick or you don’t like her food.
Stop it, Rose. I need to stop this train of thought and make a damn decision already.
“Well…” I start and stop again. Wait and think about this, my inner voice screams, but I ignore it. “If you think you’re up for it, why don’t you come?”
There, I’ve said it. I hold my breath as I wait for his response.
He’ll probably say no anyway. I mean, anyone in their right mind wouldn’t come to a family gathering when he barely knows the girl.
It’s not like we’re actually dating. And this kind of thing implies very much that we are.
What if this scares him off? What if he wasn’t implying that he wanted me to invite him?
The seconds tick by. My ear is pressed hard against my phone as I try to hear what he’s going to say.
It feels like he’s taking forever to reply. I’m beginning to wonder again if he hung up the damn phone.
I suppose I really can’t blame him. I mean, the thought of meeting anyone’s family is pretty scary, but meeting mine is particularly frightening. Everyone’s so intense, and there’ll be all this baby talk.
Never mind. Maybe the next weekend, I’ll be able to be whisked away by helicopter and be taken to a romantic deserted island. I can picture the bleached fine sand, the aqua-blue ocean, a palm tree swaying in the breeze, and the most luxurious beach house you could ever imagine.
“I’d love to,” replies Daniel, and I can feel my breath rush from my lungs as a warm glow spreads through me, starting in my belly.
Wow. Okay, wow. So yeah, maybe it’s a good thing.
I mean, if we’re planning to like, have a baby together, maybe he wants to know more about my family.
I push the thought aside. No, we haven’t decided anything. It’s too early; we’re still
in the getting-to-know-each-other phase.
But I can’t ignore the little glimmer of excitement that takes hold when I think about going to this special event with Daniel.
Maybe it’s the next step. Maybe we’re making progress. Maybe this baby bargain is going to happen after all.
Daniel
The weekend seems to be approaching at a breakneck speed. Try as I might to stop it, I can’t. I mean, one minute it’s Tuesday, and now it’s Friday, and I’m due to go to this big family gathering.
Sweat breaks out at the mere thought of what I’ve agreed to do.
When Rose said she couldn’t spend the weekend with me, it felt wrong. I wanted to know why and move heaven and earth to have her with me. I thought she was going to say she was off to the spa or the hairdresser.
I had no idea it was because of a family thing. What on earth possessed me to actually fish for an invitation is now beyond me.
I guess I thought it was a good idea at the time. Now, upon reflection, I’m realizing it was a terrible idea.
Going to the party means I’m going to meet the family. It’s not going to be a quiet family dinner with Mom and Dad, oh no. I think Rose said the entire clan was going.
I lean back in my office chair and briefly close my eyes. I remember how just a few of them were at the tea shop.
Can I renege on my promise to come? I mean, would it be really wrong to come up with an excuse why I can’t do it?
Maybe I could feign illness? A serious bout of food poisoning due to something bad I ate?
I gnaw on my bottom lip. Mom has always been very strict about lying. She was against it for any reason whatsoever, and she didn’t believe in sort-of-emergency lies either.
If I told her what I’d done, she’d tell me to just go and make the most of it.
Especially if she knew what I was really up to with Rose—working on getting an heir.
I grab my phone and shoot off a text to Rose.
Hey, gorgeous…special dress code for birthday party?
I’ve been texting Rose daily. I love the way she responds, her quirky humor, her interesting way of using emojis, and the fact that so far, she’s not taken any offense at my twisted humor.
Not really…the theme is Cars.
I read the message and raise my eyebrows.
I thought it was a kid’s party…cars? Do they start driving younger these days?
Her reply is instantaneous.
The kids’ cartoon Cars. Have you seen it? You’d love it.
I scratch the back of my head. A kids’ flick called Cars. I better Google it before this party so I appear knowledgeable on the topic of kids’ movies.
Okay…kid film called Cars…got it…anything else I need to know?
A smiley face comes back.
I guess that means no. Butterflies, or maybe fucking spiders, multiply in the pit of my stomach.
D-day is nearly here. Of course it’s not really D-day, but it fucking feels like it. And of course it should be called MP day: meet the parents. Or in this case, MF: meet the family.
I sigh and actually search info about this Cars film. I watch the shorts and decide I like the tow truck, Mater.
Later, I receive a text from Rose with directions to her parents’ house.
You sure we can’t go together? Another emoji face sent with a gentle effect.
I’ve got to help set up and stuff so I’ll be getting there a lot earlier. Don’t stress. I’ll meet you outside, comes her reply.
I don’t feel any more reassured, but I guess it is what it is. Rose has made up her mind, and I’ll have to accept it.
Finally, when the day is here, I arrive at her parents’ house with sweaty palms and a wildly beating heart. The last time I felt this way was during my school days when I’d be called to the principal’s office.
Not that this happened often. But when it did, my palms were sweaty, and my heart raced in my chest. Maybe my knees were wobbly as well.
I’ve never in my whole fucking life felt this nervous about something involving a girl. What does that even mean? It’s not like Rose and I are actually dating.
And then something fucking weird happens. The mere thought of that causes my chest to contract. What the hell is that about?
Rose comes out and greets me. I react on instinct and pull her toward me and kiss her with all the need I’ve been holding back since I last saw her. She responds immediately.
Yeah, this doesn’t feel like a business deal. Not at fucking all.
When I hear a clearing of the throat, I pull away from her and look at someone hovering near the front door.
Spies.
“Come on in and meet everyone.”
With lead-filled feet, I follow.
“Don’t worry,” whispers Rose next to me. “You’re not about to face a fearsome fire-breathing dragon. It’s only my family.”
I force a smile to my face and feel her hand squeeze mine.
“If you put it like that, I’ve got nothing to worry about.” I try and sound lighthearted. “I was looking forward to meeting the dragon, though. I mean, how often do you get to meet one of those creatures?”
She giggles.
At the door are two older-looking people standing side by side.
The woman looks a little like Rose. Okay, so Rose looks a little like the woman. And I think I can see her eyes in the father.
“Mom, Dad.” We stop in front of them. “This is Daniel.”
Rose’s mom takes me into her arms and gives me a hug. There are hints of cinnamon, apple, and flour on her top. Maybe she’s been baking.
“Hi,” I say, trying not to sound too stiff, but I feel awkward as fuck—something I’m not used to in the slightest.
“I’m Dorothy.” She smiles at me, and I feel my muscles relax, but only a bit.
Rose’s dad reaches out and shakes my hand.
“Nice to meet one of Rose’s fellas,” he says and then stops. “Oh, I mean―shit. That didn’t come out right. Um, I’m Arthur.”
Rose stiffens. “Dad.” I can tell she’s trying to sound calm. Now it’s my turn to squeeze her hand.
I know what she’s trying to say, but I think I also know what her father was trying to say.
Rose’s mom rescues the situation. “Come along, dears, and meet the rest of them. If we stay out here for too long, they’ll come looking.”
A young girl whizzes past in some vehicle-looking thing. She stops long enough to say hi, grab her presents from our hands, and disappear again.
“Kids,” Rose says and shrugs.
“Hello again.” Jenna comes over to greet us both. “So, has she paid you or are you coming on your own free will?”
Rose slaps her cousin on the shoulder, but I laugh.
“Maybe it’s a bit of both,” I joke, and Jenna laughs.
She turns to Rose. “He’s not bad, you know.”
I see Rose’s cheeks go red. Slowly, we inch forward. I think we’ve managed to get from the front door to main living area of house and are heading to the back garden, the place where it’s all happening.
Introductions go on and on and fucking on. The names wash over me, and I forget them as soon as I’m told who is who.
There are so many people here. Rose said she was from a big family, but this is fucking huge. It makes my own crazy blended family pale in comparison.
Rose is holding my hand as we walk from group to group, say hello here, ask how they are there, and generally try to chat to everyone at the party.
In the garden, I see giant replicas of the movie, and I pause at Mater, insisting I need to get a photo with the tow truck.
At some point in time, I start to relax, probably helped along by the alcohol.
I speak to Jayden, exchanging info on who her favorite character is. I think I’m doing okay because I picked the tow truck and not one of the new racecars.
Rose hands me another drink. We smile at each other. So far, so good.
I have to
admit, her family has been very welcoming and has embraced me wholeheartedly.
The evening sky is displaying its magnificent colors as the sun sets. Soon, the backyard will be bathed in moonlight.
I wrap my arm around Rose and pull her close to me. It feels right. Fucking perfect, actually.
Like I could be part of this woman’s life forever. Part of her family.
It’s a crazy thought. Maybe it’s the alcohol, too. Maybe I need to get out of this romantic setting in the garden.
I lean toward her. “Do you want to go inside?”
Rose nods and takes me by the hand.
As I try to follow, I trip over something. But my eyes don’t focus properly, so I can’t see what’s in my way.
The world is spinning, and I feel Rose put her hand out to steady me.
Maybe I shouldn’t have had that third or fourth glass of champagne—or was it five?—or the cocktail someone handed me in a tall thin glass.
Rose takes the glass I’m carrying and puts it on top of something.
“I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight,” she says. And as she looks at me, I think I can see a little frown.
God, she looks hot and sexy. My cock in my pants stirs, and I want to jump her bones right fucking now.
I grab her and pull her toward me.
My mouth crushes down on hers. I want to kiss her—no, I want to do a whole lot more than kiss her.
I’m horny as fuck. I need to take her—like now.
I push my hips forward so she can feel the massive and still growing bulge in my pants. Rose responds with a low moan.
Our lips lock together, and the world spins around me. Her lips are so soft as they melt into mine. My tongue pushes past her teeth and explores the sweetness of her mouth.
At the same time, my hands grope for her magnificent tits. I can feel her nipples harden even through the material.
Somewhere nearby, a door opens and closes.
Rose stiffens a little. I pull away from her. My breath is coming short and shallow.
“Where’s your room?” I whisper.
Rose
The second his lips are on mine, I feel my knees go all jelly-like. And when his hand then finds my breasts, oh god, I think my common sense takes a leave of absence.