by Vivien Vale
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry I will myself. That’s the last thing on earth that I want to do. I’m not going to give Leon the satisfaction.
“Your ideas aren’t what I’m looking for at all. They were incorrect from the start,” Leon says. “I don’t know how you’re planning on moving forward with this project when the basics are all wrong. I asked for a project manager. I was expecting someone who knew how to do the job, not some incompetent receptionist who’s more concerned with looking good for her boss than doing her job.”
Every insult hits me like a physical punch. He’s breaking me down as a person, and I don’t appreciate it. I don’t know what to do. I want to fight with him but I’m new, and he’s my superior. Clive stands on the other side of the table, not saying anything, and I wish he would stick up for me for once.
“I’m going to step outside for some air,” I say. “We can continue this in fifteen minutes.”
Leon shakes his head. “No, you can go back to your desk and find something else to do. I’ll sort out this mess and do your job. Don’t bother coming back to sort this out. I’ve got it.”
I swallow hard, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. I’m not going to cry. I won’t.
I leave the meeting room and walk toward the sliding door that opens onto the smoker’s area. I don’t smoke, but I need to get some air to breathe. I feel like the walls are closing in on me, squashing me out of existence.
When I’m outside the chilly breeze is sobering, and I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to deal with Leon. I work hard, and I put everything I have into this.
I don’t know how long I’m outside. I don’t want to go back inside if I’m honest. Maybe I wasn’t the best candidate for the job. Leon makes it so clear that I don’t know what I’m doing and I am in over my head. It’s only been two weeks since I started, but I can’t seem to find the right stride, and I’m starting to doubt myself.
It’s just because of what Leon said, I tell myself. He was rude and mean. When I have to interact with him, I feel despondent about my job. I feel like all my hard work means nothing. It’s funny, when I first got the promotion, all I could think about was how this put me one step closer to finding a way to bring RidgeCo down, to get back at the owner for ruining my family. But somewhere along the way I really started caring about the job and the projects. They mean something to me. With everything going on with Wes, part of me just wants to throw my whole plan out the window and be exactly the woman he thinks I am.
But I can’t run away from this. I must keep pushing through. I take a deep breath and hold it for three seconds. I need to get through this. I only allow myself a little bit of time to fall apart, and then I pull myself together and walk back inside.
When I walk in through the sliding doors, Wes comes from somewhere down the corridor. He glances at me. I look away. We said we would be strictly professional in public, and I’m not in a professional mood. I’m upset. I’m angry.
“Kylie,” Wes calls when I turn to walk to my desk.
I stop and turn around, waiting for him to come to me.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I nod. “Perfectly fine.”
He narrows his eyes at me.
“You’re not being honest with me,” he says.
I take a deep breath. “It’s nothing, Wes. Really.”
He shakes his head. “Tell me what’s wrong,” he says. “Is it Leon?”
I don’t know how he knows, but I nod. I’m not going to lie to his face. “I don’t know what to do anymore,” I say. “There’s just no way for me to please the guy.”
I want to cry again, and I swallow hard, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. I don’t want to look pathetic and cry in front of Wes about something like me not getting along with my boss. But it’s starting to get to me.
“Tell me what happened,” Wes says.
I shake my head. I don’t want to be the one to run around talking behind his back.
“Kylie, we have to sort this out. As your boss, I want to make sure it’s all cleared up. I can’t have my employees fighting.”
I guess he’s right.
“He’s not happy with my plans no matter what I do. I’ve redone them twice now. He seems to be sure of himself that I’m unfit for this job, and he’s not scared to tell me so, repeatedly.”
“What did you say to him?”
“I offered to redo it again, if he’ll just tell me where I went wrong, but he won’t do that. He said he’ll just do it himself so it gets done right. I was told not to go back into the meeting.”
Wes nods, and I can’t tell what he’s thinking. He’s got his poker face on, carefully expressionless. If he’s angry, it doesn’t show.
“Alright,” he says. “Let’s go back in there and sort this out.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to look for trouble.”
Wes looks at me. “You’re not looking for trouble. You’re doing as I ask. I’m going in there to help sort this out because I’m higher up than he is, and he has to listen to me.
“Alright,” I say. “But I don’t want it to look like I came running to you with this.”
Wes nods. “I know what to do. Come with me.”
My stomach turns when I follow Wes back to the meeting room. I don’t want him to fight my battles for me – I’ve never been that kind of woman – and I don’t want Leon to think I’ve been tattling behind his back like a child. But I can’t very well tell Wes no, not if we’re going to be strictly business with each other and he’s my boss. I just don’t want to do this.
Wes allows me to walk into the meeting room, first. Leon looks up and scowls when he sees me.
“I thought I asked you to stay away,” he says.
“And I asked her to come back,” Wes says, coming in after me. Clive steps away from the wall he was leaning against, and Leon looks pissed.
“So, what, she ran to you?” Leon asks. “This is the grown-up world, Jordan.”
“That’s enough, Leon,” Wes says. His voice is firm but calm. “I caught her outside, and I asked her why she’s not in a compulsory meeting, only to learn that you asked her to leave.”
Leon nods, glaring at me. I’m grateful Wes made it sound like he was reprimanding me for not doing my job instead of making it look like I leaned on him for help.
“I’m not going to work with people who don’t know what they’re talking about, no matter who hired them,” Leon says. “If we’re going to produce something – anything – by this time next year, it will be a miracle at the rate we’re going, now.”
Wes shakes his head. “What’s the problem?” he asks.
Leon waves his hand at my files. “Her work is useless.”
Wes walks toward the table. I’m rooted to the spot, unsure. I want to run away if I’m honest.
“Let’s see this,” Wes says, and he picks up my files, looking through what I’ve come up with to see for himself. He frowns and we’re all waiting in quiet anticipation while Wes reads through everything. After what feels like forever, he looks up at me with a frown.
Oh, God. I’ve blown it, haven’t I?
“This is good, Kylie,” Wes says. I blink at him. Say what now? “I like this.” Wes turns to Leon. “What was your problem with it?”
Leon is getting angry. His face is turning red, his eyes are narrowed, and his jaw is tightening as he grinds his teeth.
“Most of it is rubbish. I can’t work like this.”
Wes frowns at the file before he looks at Clive.
“What do you think?” he asks.
Clive didn’t say much once Leon started going on negatively about my work. Now, finally able to speak, he nods. “I think it’s excellent,” he says. “I like it, too.”
Leon snorts. “Are you going to kiss ass just because the CEO is here?” he sneers at Clive.
“Leon,” Wes says in a reprimanding voice.
“Wha
t?” Leon asks as if he doesn’t know what he’s doing. “Are you going to stick up for her? It’s sad how much you’ll overlook for her. What, is it because she’s so good, as you said? Or is it because of her uncanny ability to spread her legs?”
Blood drains from my face, and the room sways for a moment. I feel like I’m going to faint. Leon can’t know. We have done nothing after that night at Wes’s place, and we’ve seen so little of each other at the office it can’t be possible.
I glance at Wes. He doesn’t seem faint the way I feel. He looks pissed off.
“Don’t be a dick, Leon,” he says, which is not a not very professional response, but his anger reverberates in the room. “That’s completely unacceptable.”
“Come on! Why can no one see that she’s an imposter! She’s just a slut trying to sleep her way to the top,” he sneers. “Runs in the family, I guess.”
Oh my God. I feel like I’ve just been punched in the gut. How could Leon possibly know that history? Was he around when my mother worked for the company? Is that why he’s so vindictive toward me? But it doesn’t make sense. Why would he care? Why would he be angry with me?
Wes shakes his head, his body visibly radiating with anger. He’s so upset he looks like he’s on the verge of exploding at Leon, but he manages to practice extraordinary self-control.
“Go home, Leon,” he says softly. His quiet anger is scary.
“You’re making me leave?” Leon asks, incredulous.
“You’re lucky I don’t fire you,” Wes says, and judging by how his voice sounds, he means it. I don’t doubt that Wes has what it takes to get rid of someone.
Leon is angry. His fists are clenched, mouth is clamped tight, neck muscles are bulging, and his eyes are narrow slits. He’s so furious he looks like he’s going to erupt in violence. His eyes flit across the room.
“Don’t even think about it,” Wes says. I don’t know what he’s talking about, but Leon seems to understand. He storms out of the meeting room. Wes sighs and turns to me.
“Here,” he says, handing me my files. “Keep up the good work.”
He leaves the meeting room. Clive looks at me with eyebrows raised.
“Well, that was intense,” he says. I nod, more than a little shaken up. “I’m going to get back to work,” Clive says. “Just pretend none of this happened.”
I swallow and nod. I watch Clive leave. When he’s gone, I’m alone in the meeting room with my files. I stare down at them. How the hell am I supposed to concentrate, now?
Wes
When get back into my office, I’m fuming. I can’t believe Leon went that far. I know the guy is in a bad place in his life. I get that he doesn’t like Kylie. Hell, we all have our bad days. But saying she spreads her legs is completely unacceptable. And what was that dig about her family? We haven’t talked about her family any more than that one time, but the comment makes me wonder.
It doesn’t only grate on me because his words were true. She is sleeping with me, yeah, but it’s not for favors and she sure as shit isn’t banging anyone else in the office. But it’s more than that. It’s the disrespect that went with it. Whatever Kylie chooses to do in her spare time, she’s a lady. She deserves to be treated as such, and I won’t tolerate sexist comments like that.
I’m so angry. I need to calm down. I want to talk to Leon about it, but not now. If I talk to him about it now, I might say something I’m going to regret.
I don’t have a lot of time to recover and find my calm again before Leon barges into my office.
When he slams the door behind him, I squeeze my eyes shut and count to ten in my head.
I open my eyes again and force myself to be calm. “Firstly, Leon, you can knock. And don’t slam the door, I will take damages directly out of your salary.”
He scowls and marches across the office toward the chairs opposite me. He comes at me like a force of nature, pure rage. I’m not scared of him but I’m glad there’s a desk between us, and I’m in a position of power over him.
“How can you undermine me like that?” he asks. His voice is loud already. He’s not shouting, but he’s damn close.
“Excuse me? Do you want to tell me how I was wrong in that scenario? I come into a meeting where you’re being completely unreasonable, and I’m the one undermining you?”
Leon shakes his head. His hands are on his hips. “I’m tired of everyone sticking up for that Jordan woman like she’s worth her salt in this company. She’s been here two weeks. I’ve been here for fifteen years. Fifteen years, Wes. You were barely in high school when I started out here. I know what I’m doing.”
I nod. “And so does she. She’s not your superior. Your skills are noticed and appreciated, Leon. If I thought you weren’t an asset anymore, I sure as hell wouldn’t have let as much of your bullshit slide as I’m doing.”
Leon frowns at me. “Bullshit? My bullshit?”
I nod. “You made a sexist remark in front of witnesses today, Leon. That’s sexual harassment. She can report you to the board, and they can put you up for review. You can lose everything. Sexual harassment in this company is a serious crime.”
“Is it more serious than fraternizing?” Leon asks. His question is carefully constructed to have an effect, and he succeeds. My blood runs cold. But it’s Leon. He knows which buttons to push. He can’t know.
“What the hell are you talking about?” I ask. “Is there something someone is doing that I should know about? Is someone doing something you can prove to me?”
Leon was about to answer the first question but the second one pulls him up short because, of course, there is no proof of anything.
“I think you’re being unfair. You may not like Kylie, but that doesn’t mean you get to make her life hell.”
“I know something’s going on between the two of you,” Leon says.
I swallow. “Why do you think that?” I ask.
Leon sighs in frustration. “It’s the way she looks at you. Often. And sometimes, the way you look back.”
I blink at Leon. “You think I’m doing something wrong because of me looking at someone?”
“You know what I mean,” Leon says, making a face.
I shake my head. “You need to stop this, now. If you don’t watch yourself, you’re going to lose your job. I’ve given you more warnings than you deserve. I know you’re having problems at home, that Martha is sick, but it’s not going to protect you from everything you’re dishing out.”
Leon is angry again. He needs to get a hold of himself soon, or things will get ugly.
“Do yourself a favor,” I say. “Go see someone. Talk about what’s bothering you. Get it out of your system, so you don’t mess up everyone else’s day.”
“Are you suggesting I need therapy?” Leon asks, incredulous and his surprise seems to trump has anger for a moment.
I shake my head. “I’m not suggesting, Leon. Sort yourself out. I would hate to see you leave us like this. A run as good as yours should end with a happy retirement, not with being fired for insubordination.”
“You won’t fire me,” Leon says.
I sigh. “I don’t want to, but if you push me hard enough, I will.”
Leon’s face is turning red as his anger flares again.
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to,” he says, and he jabs a finger at me. It pisses me off when people point at me, but I try to let it slide. Leon is unstable right now. He needs to calm down, and if I rise to his anger with my own it’s just going to spiral out of control. I’m proud of myself for holding onto my calm for so long. If Leon keeps pushing me, I’ll snap at some point. But it won’t be today.
“Leon, let’s focus on the problem at hand, okay?
“Ha!” Leon barks a laugh. “The problem at hand? If you think I’m just going to let this slide, you’re wrong. I’ve been around here long enough to know what it looks like if something’s going on. I’ve seen it firsthand. And it never ends well. Mark my words, I’ll get to the
bottom of this.”
I sigh. I can only be calm for so long. I can’t suppress the anger forever. I have to either explode or let it drain away, so I do the latter. I feel the anger slipping away until all that’s left is fatigue. I’m so tired of this shit with Leon.
“I told you to go home, Leon. Take the day. Hell, take the week if you must. Pull yourself together before you come back to the office, okay?”
“This isn’t over, Wes,” he says. The anger in his voice is wound just as tight as before. He hasn’t calmed down at all. That’s what bothers me – that he’ll keep going like this until something blows up in my face.
“Yes, Leon, it is.” I look at him, my eyes empty. “Go home. I’m not going to say it again. If you make me repeat it, I’m going to tell you not to come back.”
Leon narrows his eyes at me. I see him wanting to challenge me like a defiant child, to test the limit. But I’m not joking, and I think he can see it in my eyes because he turns around without saying another word and storms to my office door. He lets himself out and slams it shut so hard the pen holder on my desk rattles.
I sigh and turn my swivel chair toward the window, looking out over San Francisco. I don’t know how to deal with Leon. He’s right; I don’t want to fire him. But he’s pushing me further and further, and he’s threatening to find out all these things about Kylie and me. There is nothing to discover, as far as I’m concerned. We’re careful now. Yes, we’re breaking the rules, but we’re doing it in private.
And with every day that passes, I’m growing more and more certain that there’s nothing to discover about Kylie. I’m starting to doubt my sources altogether about her ulterior motives. Yeah, there have been moments when she’s acted strangely. But that could just be nerves about losing her job, exactly like she says. What if she’s not out to get me or RidgeCo?
It’s what I want to believe. Because where I started out just wanting to fuck her over for messing with my company, now all I want is just to fuck her. Every day and every night.
I don’t think Leon will find anything. I don’t think I have anything to be nervous about if neither of us says anything about it to anyone. Not in the office and not outside of it. Secrets have a way of biting you in the ass when they come out, and I don’t want that to happen.