The tension in Jesse’s neck eased. “If you’ll go back to Sundae, I promise I won’t bother you again.” That would be better for both of them. “Like I said, I’ve got paperwork to catch up on. Just stop by and let me know you’re leaving.”
“Yes, boss.” Walking quickly, she headed back to the horse barn with a swing to her hips Jesse enjoyed watching until the closing door blocked his view.
JANIE DIDN’T BREATHE UNTIL she reached Sundae’s stall again. Once she was sure she wasn’t being followed, she leaned limply against the wall and worked to recover from the roller coaster ride of meeting up with Jesse.
She should have called out when she’d heard him coming down the aisle toward the stall, so she could forgive his burst of temper at being surprised. But the spouse comment had fired her temper.
Of course, he’d also proved her point. They would never get past what had happened between his father and her mother. Any relationship between them was doomed before either of them was even born, a fact they both needed to remember.
But Jesse had come after her, had actually touched her—grabbed her arm—to keep her from leaving. She’d felt the pressure of each of his fingers separately, and a circle of warmth where his palm had rested. That was the point at which her good sense blew away with the wind and her breathing got all shaky. Instead of saving herself, she’d agreed to stay.
That didn’t mean she had to sit around sighing, like the lovesick schoolgirl she used to be. No, she’d decided to move on in her life, to investigate new opportunities and wider horizons. That’s why, with her genetics final out of the way, she’d entered a charity rodeo this weekend, up in Montana. She doubted she’d win, because she and her horse, Chica, hadn’t practiced much since Thanks giving.
But the feed store was only open until noon on Saturdays in December, so Ruth Pearsoll had approved her Saturday off. Mark and Nicki would be watching her mother and Elly had promised to give Sundae his twice-a-day walks. Janie looked forward to getting away from Cody, and the Codys, especially Jesse. The rodeo raised funds to provide Christmas for underprivileged kids, yet another good reason to make the effort.
Settling on her knees beside Sundae, she squirted alcohol into her hands and began rubbing his right hind leg with gentle downward strokes. She usually found rubbing legs as soothing as the horse did. Tonight, however, she couldn’t release the tension in her chest and shoulders and neck. Jesse’s presence complicated her thoughts and stirred up emotions she tried to keep under control.
When she finished with Sundae’s legs, she spent time stroking the gelding’s neck and shoulders while murmuring some of the Lakota songs she had learned from her grandmother. She prayed for balance to be restored in Sundae’s world…and in Jesse’s. She thought he probably needed that even more than his favorite horse did.
Outside the stall once again, she pulled on her jacket and picked up her supply satchel to walk through the nearly silent stallion barn. The size and scope of the Cody facilities amazed everyone who visited. In addition to the ten-stall stallion barn and a thirty-stall building designed to house mares in the Cody quarter horse breeding program—Anne Cody’s pet project—Jesse worked on the beef cattle operation in the equally huge cow barn, where J. W. Cody also pursued the development of prize-winning rodeo bulls.
Janie frowned as she pushed open the door into the cow barn. From what Mark had said when they’d had a chance to talk in Vegas, his goal was to have a place of his own and to make a name for himself breeding bulls, just like J. W. Cody. Was the similarity coincidence? He redity? Or had Mark made the choice because he knew he could get Cody assistance?
She hadn’t asked her brother that question. Chances were good if she did, he’d just scowl and walk out on her. He was a happy man, now that he’d found love with Nicki. But he’d never confided much in Janie, and he wasn’t about to start. Maybe he’d always felt he was different. Maybe he’d known somewhere deep inside that he was a Cody even before her mother told him the truth.
As she turned the corner into the aisle leading to the parking lot, Janie saw a triangle of light emerging from a doorway about halfway down on the left. Jesse had said he’d be working—surely he wasn’t still here at 10:00 p.m.?
In fact, he was still in his office, though not working. He was leaning back into the dark green leather of his big desk chair, head resting against the side and eyes closed. Soft, rumbly snores came through his open mouth.
Smiling, Janie watched him for a long minute. He had to be uncomfortable, yet he was sound asleep. Poor guy, he’d been telling the truth when he said he worked from dawn until late at night. He seemed so vulnerable, so harmless, dozing like this.
All at once, his hand jerked into the air and he shuddered, from his shoulders to his knees. Then he sat up, with his spine as stiff and straight as a lodgepole pine tree.
Whether she deserved it or not, Janie had a feeling she was in for the dressing-down of her life.
Chapter Eight
But Jesse’s eyes never opened. In the next moment, he sank back into the chair, flopped his head to the left and resumed snoring.
Janie gradually released the breath she was holding and allowed her body to relax. What would she have said if he’d woken up and seen her gawking at him?
She didn’t know, and she wasn’t going to risk having to find out. Bracing herself, she took a step forward, put a hand forward and gave Jesse’s shoulder a firm shake.
He didn’t wake up, didn’t even stir. Now she was stuck touching him, feeling the cord of muscle running along the back of his shoulder up into his neck, the arch of his collarbone and the hollow behind it. Her palm could almost sense the texture of the fair skin underneath his chambray shirt. Her eyes could happily spend forever studying his face, his silver-blond hair and thick eyelashes, his full, sensual lower lip.
But her mind could imagine how much worse she’d feel if he woke up and found her groping him in his sleep. So she shook him again, and again. “Jesse. Jesse, wake up.” How tired he must be, to sleep so soundly!
Finally, she used both hands. “Come on, Jesse. You can’t sleep here all night.”
A grimace of pain contracted his face. “I’m plenty comfortable. Let me be.”
Janie stepped back. In another minute, Jesse frowned even more violently, groaned and lifted heavy eyelids. “Janie? Is there a problem?”
“N-no.” Except that he looked so damn sexy she could hardly speak. “I thought you should go to bed, that’s all, instead of spending the night in your chair.”
“Oh.” His eyes closed again. “I do that a lot.” Would he go back to sleep? At least he was still talking.
She’d done what she could. And she’d better get out of here before she did what she shouldn’t. “Then I’ll leave you to your rest.” As she reached the door, though, she heard the chair squeak.
“No, you’re right.” When she turned around, he’d gotten to his feet and was shrugging into his heavy coat. “A bed would be better.” He turned off the lamp and, with a few unsteady steps, joined her at the door.
They walked side by side, but without talking, toward the door to the parking lot. The exit sign was once again their only source of light and Janie’s unruly mind headed straight down the wrong path—Jesse’s arms going around her, Jesse’s mouth capturing hers…
But he pushed the heavy door open without touching her and she stepped outside into the cold, black night.
Jesse waved a hand as he headed toward his truck. “Thanks for saving me a stiff neck.”
“No problem.” She couldn’t help asking, “Did you get dinner?”
He rubbed his hand over his hair. “Uh…no. I’ll grab something before I go to bed.”
Janie would have offered to make him some food, but she stopped herself just in time. She couldn’t be Jesse’s caretaker, no matter how much she wanted the job.
“See you around,” she said instead.
She drove her cold truck home, said good-night to the woma
n who had stayed extra hours with her mom and ate her own cold dinner alone in front of the TV. Maybe Jesse wasn’t the only one who needed to be taken care of?
Then maybe they were both just plain out of luck.
TO HER RELIEF AS WELL as disappointment, Janie didn’t see Jesse at the barn on Thursday morning—the team had left for their roundup two hours before she arrived at seven-thirty. She gave Sundae his leg rub, plus a short walk outside the stall, then dashed back to Markton to hold down the register at the store. On her lunch break, she hurried home to check on her mom.
As she turned down the unpaved road leading to the five hardscrabble acres the Hansens called home, Janie observed her background unsentimentally. This wasn’t the Codys’ Cottonwood Ranch, with grassy rolling hills, pine trees and cottonwoods standing against a backdrop of the Rocky Mountains and the flashing waters of the Shoshone River.
The prefab home she’d always lived in sat on the same flat plain as the rest of Markton, exposed to the wind, sun and, most of all, dust. No manicured lawn, no fancy gate, no driveway—just a metal box set down in front of four acres of fenced rangeland where she kept her barrel racing horse. Chica’s shed looked to be in better condition than the house itself.
Mark did his best to help with maintenance, but most of his winnings and his time went straight back into his rodeo career. Her feed store earnings paid the house bills—there weren’t too many—and she and Mark managed to cover medical expenses together. Of course, the prize money from placing second at NFR would help, but he and Nicki would want to buy their own place and start their life together soon. So they didn’t have cash left over for cosmetic details on a thirty-year-old trailer.
Inside the house wasn’t quite so grim. Bright, wool blankets hid the worn upholstery in the living room, and flowered curtains softened the windows. Abby Hansen had always kept a clean house, and Janie did her best to follow her mother’s example. As she walked by the sofa, she straightened the magazines on the coffee table and noted the dust on the TV cabinet for wiping off later. In the kitchen, she ran hot water and squirted dish soap into one side of the double sink to deal with the bowls and cups from breakfast.
“Mom?” Drying her hands on a towel, she walked down the narrow hall. “Hey, Mom? Want some lunch?”
At the door to her mother’s room, she sagged a little against the frame as she saw Abby still lying in bed, just as she had been when Janie left at seven. Not asleep, now or then—Abby’s wide, frightened eyes had been easy to see even in the predawn dark.
Janie sat down on the edge of the mattress and smoothed back her mother’s graying hair. “Hey, Mom. How about getting up for a little bit? Maybe a shower? Fresh clothes?”
Shaking her head, Abby rolled farther toward the wall. Since the flight home from Las Vegas, her condition had taken a rapid turn for the worse. Their week together seemed more and more like a wistful dream.
Janie put a hand on the thin shoulder she could reach. “Now, Mom, you can’t stay here all afternoon. I’ve got to go back to work. Let me help you get cleaned up. You’ll feel better about everything. I know you will.”
Coaxing, reassuring, pleading, Janie at last convinced her mother to leave the bed and take a shower. After helping with the process, Janie combed Abby’s waist-length hair then wove it into a smooth braid. Just as she helped her mom into a clean dress, the front door of the house opened and closed.
“Anybody home?” Mark’s quiet voice somehow penetrated the whole house.
Abby stood up straighter, and she smiled. “I’m coming.” She turned to Janie and put a hand to her cheek. “Thank you, so much. What would I do without you?”
“That’s not something we have to worry about.” Janie blinked away tears as she led her mother back toward the kitchen.
Mark stood peering into the refrigerator. “What do we have to eat? I’m starved.”
“Get out of the way, cowboy.” Janie pushed him playfully backward and took his place. “Go sit down with Mom a few minutes and I’ll warm up some food.”
“Thanks.” Reaching past her, he grabbed a can of soda off the shelf, then went to join Abby on the sofa. In answer to her questions, he told her—for maybe the hundredth time—that he had married a really wonderful girl and he’d come in second at the National Finals Rodeo. For the hundredth time, Abby was surprised and delighted to hear she had a daughter-in-law.
“Are you going to live here?” she asked as they sat down at the table with leftover meatloaf and mashed potatoes. “I can move into the small room and you and—and—”
“Nicki,” Mark inserted gently.
“You and Nicki could have my big room.” She smashed her fork through the food without actually eating any of it.
“Thanks, Mom.” He patted her hand. “Right now, we’re staying with Nicki’s dad. He’s got plenty of room.”
Janie put her fingers on Abby’s wrist. “Take a bite, Mom. You should eat.”
Her mother dropped the fork onto the plate. “I’m not hungry.” She looked at Mark again. “What can I do for you? What kind of plans do you have?”
Mark managed to deflect the question, assuring Abby he and Nicki would let her know what they needed. He took a turn urging her to eat and, for her son, Abby managed to swallow a few bites.
Then she yawned. “I’m so tired. I think I need to lie down on my bed a little while.”
Once her mother had crawled back into bed and fallen asleep, Janie returned to the kitchen where Mark had brewed a pot of coffee and was pouring himself a cup. “Want one?”
“Yeah.” Once more seated in her chair at the table, she mostly played with her own food. “What brings you over for lunch?”
He leaned the chair back on two legs and took a swig from his coffee. “Just felt like I should be here.”
Janie nodded. “I know what you mean. I could tell even in the dark this morning that this wasn’t a good day.”
Mark cocked an eyebrow. “Since when does the feed store open in the dark?”
She swore to herself as she realized what she’d said. “I—I had a horse to work with first. An injured horse.”
Mark’s chair legs thudded against the vinyl floor. “Whose horse?”
“Jesse’s.” She didn’t bother to lie. He’d find out eventually.
“Dammit, Janie. Why the hell would you do a thing like that?”
“Like what? Help an injured horse?”
“Work for Jesse Cody.”
“You’re a member of the family. What’s the problem with me working for your brother?”
Mark glared at her for a long moment. “I know you’re not that dumb,” he said. “First of all, Jesse hates my guts, now more than ever, after I beat him in the National Finals. My guess is he’ll take that hate out on you if he gets a chance.”
“Jesse’s not like that.”
He muttered a rude word. “Second, I’m a long way from being a part of the family. Things might have looked good in Vegas, but Anne is still an iceberg where I’m concerned. Those four brothers aren’t too happy about what’s happened, either, especially Jesse. I’m not sure you’re safe anywhere on that spread.”
“You’re ridiculous. I’ve been friends with all of them for years, which is more than you can say. Nobody’s going to hurt me.”
In a swift move, he left his chair and moved next to her, at the same time capturing her hands in his. Then her brother looked her straight in the eye, his own dark gaze tender and concerned.
“Most of all,” he said, “I’m afraid your feelings are gonna get you into trouble.”
Janie turned her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do.” He gave her hands a little shake. “I worried about you in Vegas, but then you got smart and stayed away from him. Now you’ll see him every day—”
“I won’t.” She got up and took her cup to the sink. “I didn’t seen him this morning at all.”
With her back turned, she heard him sigh. Then h
is hands closed over her shoulders.
“The Codys aren’t like us, Janie. You know they want only the best of everything for their family. We’re not in the same league.”
“You’re a Cody,” she whispered, although her heart rejoiced to know he still thought of himself as a Hansen.
“I’m J.W.’s mistake,” he said almost as quietly. His hands tightened, then he let her go and went into the living room. “Mom said she’d been by herself all morning. Did Mrs. Hillier not come?”
“I left early, so I didn’t see her, but surely she would let us know if she couldn’t be here. I’ll call and find out.” Alma Hillier usually stayed with Abby while Janie worked. She wasn’t completely reliable, but she was the only resource Markton offered.
Mark stood by the door, fidgeting with the handle. “Mom’s getting worse, isn’t she?”
“Since we got back? Yeah.”
He left without saying anything else. Janie hoped Nicki would be able to give him the comfort he need ed.
If only somebody, somewhere, could do the same for her.
FRIDAY AFTERNOON, JESSE THREW his duffel bag and bull rigging into the backseat of his truck and headed for the High Country Christmas Rodeo in Gardiner, Montana. All the proceeds from this show went to brighten the holidays for needy children, so he’d made a point of being there every year since he’d joined the professional rodeo circuit. If he won—and he’d won more of these shows than he’d lost—he contributed his own winnings to the charity.
He bought gas in Cody, then headed north, bypassing the mountains and Yellowstone Park. The three-hour drive through the park was a nice one, but the road closed in November due to snow at the higher elevations. Hard as it was to believe, Christmas Eve was just a week away.
Thoughts of snow reminded him of the night Janie had insisted on driving him home, not to mention their time together in Vegas. Of course, there were the nine nights of the Finals when she’d avoided him, and the one night she’d made it clear she wanted him to leave her alone.
He’d tried. Honestly. But his plan to keep away from her in the barn had failed totally—since Wednesday, he’d seen her at least once and sometimes twice a day. While he could take some of the blame, she certainly didn’t make staying away any easier.
Jesse: Merry Christmas, Cowboy Page 10