by Anna Bloom
With sleep evaporated for the night, I stared at the ceiling, then I turned onto my side and watched for the sky to lighten around the edge of the drapes. It came slowly, gradually turning from ink to grey to silver.
Sighing, I pushed back the covers and grabbed my stuff from the dresser. I might as well get up and get on, early bird and all that. One of Gram’s favorite phrases.
The warm water helped to push away the remnants of the dream, and I spent time waiting for the conditioner to work its magic while contemplating the chipped nail polish on my toes.
Just how disappointed would Professor Greene be when he realized his new star student could only play with the mechanical depth of C3PO in need of oil?
Only one way to find out, I guessed.
Out the shower, I used my towel to wipe the condensation off the mirror and combed through my hair, pulling it up into a ponytail and leaving the ends to curl naturally. I didn’t bother with makeup, just a swipe of Vaseline over my eyelashes and lips.
Pulling my clothes over my still slightly damp skin, I stared long and hard at myself in the mirror.
Then with no words or pep talk coming to mind, I just turned my back and crept back out. Eva sat up on her bed, her right hand clutching her forehead. “Uuuuughh.”
“Headache?” I smiled, but it stretched awkward across my face. “I’m so sorry about waking you up earlier.” My cheeks flushed, but I brazened it out with a chuckle. “I really thought I wouldn’t have nightmares here.”
She waved her hand. “You should have stayed last night, we had so much fun.”
I pressed the screen of my phone checking the time. “Believe me, judging by the state of you, I’m glad I didn’t. I’ve got to be in Emmerson Hall at nine.”
“I’m so glad you’re the Collins kid and not me.” She groaned loudly and fell back on her pillow.
“What are you doing today?” I perched on the end of my bed to pull on my Doc Martens.
“Meeting some of the girls from last night. I think we’re going to head into the city and check it out.”
I glanced out the window at the blue sky. “Nice.”
“Wanna come?” She sounded hesitant, and I didn’t blame her. I’d bailed on the first party of term like a dork.
“If I’m free from Greene, sure. I need to go and look for a job anyway.”
She cracked an eye open. “Why? You’re fully funded, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, but it’s only accommodation, meals, and tuition. I need to be able to send money home.” I didn’t mind being honest about this. What was the point in pretending to be something that I wasn’t?
“Ugh. Rather you than me. It’s going to be hard enough getting up for lectures, let alone work as well.”
I smiled and shook my head until my phone rang, Luca’s annoyingly perfect face flashing on the screen. “It’s Luca. I’ll take it as I walk out. See you later?”
She waved her hand at me. “I’ll find you.”
“Sure, sure.”
I grabbed my backpack and swiped my key off the dresser, answering the call with my free hand.
“Oh, Lyra?” Eva called me back as I got to the door.
“What?”
“Tell Luca I say hi.”
She pulled the comforter back up over her head, probably not hearing my groan as I walked out into the hallway.
“It’s early,” I grumbled into my phone, tucking it under my ear as I pulled on my backpack and quietly closed the door behind me.
“Just checking you’re awake for your meeting.”
I groaned so loudly I probably woke up the whole floor. “You don’t have to baby me anymore, Luca. I’m a big girl, at college. I can set my own alarms.”
He chuckled softly. “Okay, so maybe I miss you.”
I knew he didn’t. Luca had hardly been over to see me recently. The distance between us growing further than the miles now separating us.
“Have you checked on Grams?”
“Yes, boss.”
“Has she had her drops?”
“Yes.”
The constrictive band around my chest eased a little. “I’m going to go and look for a job later. Hopefully I’ll get something quick.”
“Lyra, it’s not your responsibility. All she wants is for you to play that fiddle and be happy.”
“It’s a violin, not a fiddle.”
“Don’t forget to sign up for the choir, otherwise you know she’s going to kick your ass.”
“Yes, yes.” I had no intention of signing up for any choir or group of any kind. I’d negotiated the stairs and pushed through the heavy glass doors. “Are we finished now?”
“Not quite. Did you have a message for me?”
I scowled. “No. What are you talking about?”
“Your little friend. Didn’t she say to tell me hi?”
“Don’t even. If you come back here before it’s the end of term, I’ll never forgive you.”
“Okay, okay, calm down.” All humor dropped from his voice and my stomach tightened.
“What is it?”
He sighed, but he knew better than to keep things from me. “Mom’s back.”
My blood chilled.
“Probably because she knows I’m not there.”
He didn’t answer.
“Keep an eye on Grams bank account.”
“I will.”
Luca had officially ruined my day. There was no clawing it back now.
“I’ve gotta go. I need something to eat before my meeting.”
“Good luck, little sis.”
“Bye.” I hung up, not even wanting to make jokes.
The air smarted fresher than I’d expected and by the time I’d walked along the outside edge of the buildings, the steamy recess of the cafeteria seemed all too welcoming despite its monochrome and sterile decor. Clusters of students already gathered around the long tables, but with my head down I pushed through and assaulted the coffee machine, pressing all the buttons until it started to gurgle hot water into a cardboard cup.
My stomach squeezed and the thought of food just made it worse, so I grabbed an apple, and a pastry, choosing one without chocolate, and then pressed my finger against the till’s reader, my breakfast automatically charging to my student account.
Okay, that’s easier.
It seemed silly, but a coffee and a pastry for free reinforced just how damn lucky I’d been landing on my feet. I pushed back my unwillingness and left the canteen determined to try my best.
The first Lennox at college… Come on, Lyra. That had to be worth at least trying.
I could start by pretending for the next meeting at least that I still played the violin, still cared.
“Hey, Lyra.” I turned at the call of my name, finding Alex jogging up behind me. His skin flushed with pink, a black tank and running shorts loving his golden curved muscles.
“I’m beginning to class you as a stalker.” I shielded my eyes from the sun directly overhead.
“I can’t help it if you standout wherever you are.”
God. Awkward.
I shrugged, not entirely sure what to say.
“I’ve been to the gym.” He filled the silence.
“Gold star for you.”
His lips quirked. “How’s Eva? She had to be escorted back last night, or should I say this morning.”
“Mm.” My smile eased. “I think she had a headache.”
“I bet.” He bounced on his toes, having far too much energy for my liking. “You should have stayed and had some fun. I’ve managed to still get up early.”
“Another gold star for you.”
He punched me lightly on the arm. “I’ll see you later? You coming to see the big lights the town has to offer?”
Ah, so Eva didn’t just have plans with the girls like she said. Hmm. I planned to make it super clear as soon as I could that I had zero interest in Alex Collins, or anyone for that matter,
“Sure.”
He started to jog
backward, heading back to the dorm. “Go and blow Greene’s mind.” He saluted me and then turned, jogging an easy pace back down the path.
Wow. He had a lot of energy for first thing in the morning. Almost made me tired just thinking about it.
Sipping my coffee, wincing at how godawful it tasted, I searched for the Emmerson building. Finding it on the furthest edge of campus, and far away from the library. Outside, I took some deep breaths.
Okay, this wouldn’t be hard.
I’d won the scholarship.
The place was mine. I deserved it.
Why was I even lying to myself?
The emptiness from my nightmare still gnawed around the edges of my nerves. I stamped it down and chucked my coffee cup in the recycle bin before I pushed through the doors. The huge white building shone with nineteen forties grandeur; an old wooden staircase dominated the entranceway along with big windows that let the light stream in. It must be one of the original buildings, possibly older than the dorm and very East Coast smart. I looked up at the impressive ceiling with its ornate plasterwork as I sought out Greene’s office.
Outside the closed door, I breathed in deep through my nose and out through my mouth.
Then I knocked, my fingers firm against the wood.
“Come in.” I twisted the brass handle, my heart flying in my chest. Greene sat behind a wide modern desk, younger than expected. I don’t know why I thought a professor should be old. He had on trendy rectangular glasses and his button-down shirt opened at the throat. His wavy hair maybe thinning more than he’d like, brushed back from his face. “Ah, Lyra. I’m glad you made it. I heard there was a party last night.” His warm smile greeted me as he got up and held out his hand to give mine a shake.
“The drive exhausted me, so I got an early night.”
“So, how do you feel?”
I shrugged, honesty is always best, so Grams said. “Right now, as awkward as hell.”
He chuckled and waved his hand at the chair opposite his desk and I perched on the edge, holding my backpack across my lap like a shield.
He lifted up a folder which had my name down the front and opened it, reading through some of the initial pages. “Spirited, if not edgy.” He arched an eyebrow higher than the frame of his glasses. “That’s the feedback from your audition.”
“Is that a good thing?” I tried not to pull a face. It didn’t sound great if I was being honest.
He nodded. “Could be either I guess. Although, the Collins Foundation normally goes for classic and disciplined.”
“Maybe they wanted a change.”
His expression didn’t reveal anything.
“You’re combining with English lit?” He looked back up and peered at me with interest.
“Yes.”
“Not often one of my students combines majors.”
“Sorry.”
He laughed and pushed back in his large leather chair. “Don’t be.”
My fingers gripped my backpack so tight I knew they would ache when I let go.
“So, you’ll have private tuition on top of your lectures. You’ll have access to your own practice space that’s been bought for the Collins recipient by the Collins family. You will be expected to lead the Christmas recital, and your main aim for this semester is to prepare for that.”
I swallowed hard. “What happens if I don’t?” I wasn’t actually saying I wouldn’t, but I wanted to know the rules here.
“Two years ago, the Collins Scholarship got revoked after three months.”
“Oh.”
He nods. “Not a problem for you, I’m sure.”
I nodded a small bob of my head in return. It was a meeting of head bobs.
“The Collins family have a long-standing relationship here. Not just the scholarship. They built the new wing of the library, and they sponsor many of the extracurricular activities. They also spend a lot of time fundraising for the college. You might be expected to go to dinners, meet other influential people in the hope they share their wealth, that kind of thing. In fact, the first gala is in just a couple of weeks. You’ll have your musical performance peers with you, but you will be expected to shine.”
Okay. Well this sounded a lot like they planned to pimp me out. I straightened my spine.
“Any other musical abilities other than the violin?” He closed my file, obviously not bothering to read it cover to cover.
“I sing,” I mumbled.
“Sing?”
“Yes. I sing with my church.”
Had sung with my church… not so much of late. Empty words in empty spaces, much to Gram’s dismay.
“Excellent. Although obviously that’s of little importance compared to your violin practice. I don’t want to come across all doom and gloom and the giver of lots of rules, but you must focus on the violin.”
I gave him another nod, ready to tell him that I didn’t sing anymore so he needn’t worry, although of course, maybe he should worry about the fact I couldn’t play violin either, but another knock landed on the door.
“Aha, here is my coffee, and I can introduce you to your pastoral faculty leader. My teaching aide is heavily involved with the Collins work, although I don’t believe he was on the committee for your acceptance.”
I nodded, not really taking it all in.
“Come in,” Greene called. I pulled my backpack up higher. One introduction today was stressful enough, let alone two in ten minutes.
The door opened, and two takeout coffee cups came through the gap, followed by tanned arms, and white shirt sleeves rolled up.
I gasped, my heart rending itself open as I blinked, repeatedly, trying to clear my vision. Blue’s green eyes flashed to my face, widening and then narrowing.
“Ah, Jack. Here’s your new pupil.” Greene, unaware of my mid heart attack status carried on, “Let me introduce the new Collins recipient, Lyra Lennox.”
Chapter Eight
Jack
I gripped the cups tighter and forced a taut smile. “Here’s your coffee.” I placed Greene’s cup down, amazed I didn’t shake it into his lap.
She’s here.
I didn’t expect her to be sitting in this office right now though. Didn’t expect that at all.
“Jack got back late from the Hamptons last night, didn’t you?” Greene winked and my already string tight smile ratcheted another notch. Lyra just stared at me, her pale-blue gaze wide. Those plump lips of hers open in an ‘O’ shape.
I licked my own lips, unable to stop the response.
“Summer vacation, got to make them count.” I forced my shoulders to drop, instigated some movement in my stiff limbs.
She winced at my voice, cringing away from me, her fingers white on the straps of her backpack, desperately pinching the material.
“How the other half live.” Greene chortled in that smug way of his and I ground my teeth. Lyra stared between us, then her gaze dropped to take in my whole body, and I burned under the delicate press of her wide stare. “Take a seat, Jack, take a seat.” Greene motioned me to the chair next to Lyra’s.
Without looking at her, I settled back, crossing my leg and resting my ankle on my knee. My fingers drummed my coffee cup. Her audible breath filled the room, ragged and fast.
“So Jack will be your daily contact. Any problems with rehearsals, music, life in general, Jack’s your man.”
She nodded, and then turned slowly to me.
“Lyra, are you okay?” Greene leaned across his desk. She looked like she might pass out. I wanted to smile with satisfaction, wanted her to squirm. She deserved it.
Her brother deserved it.
“Yes, fine.” She cleared her throat and the small noise zipped straight to my dick. “May I ask why I need a pastoral aide?”
Greene waved his hand in a dismissive sweep. “Oh it’s all part of the scholarship. Jack here is an Alumni who has stayed on as faculty staff after earning his extra credits working with my team.”
She had nothing for this
. Nothing. Her mouth hung open.
“Staff,” she whispered.
“Lyra, are you sure you’re okay?” Greene shifted in his seat. I don’t know, maybe he planned to catch her as she fell to the floor.
“Mmm. Just a bit hot.”
And she was. Fuck, if she wasn’t the most perfect thing I’d ever seen. Still. I hated her for it, for the choices she’d made me make.
“I’m sorry I haven’t seen your application, Miss Lennox.” I inclined my head toward her. “Normally I’d be more involved.”
“Vacay?” she whispered breathily.
I smirked, tilting my lips into a smile. “Last minute flight in.”
“And right on time for the start of term,” Greene added. He was such a fucking prick.
I stretched back in my seat, reclining, ignoring the pounding in my chest and flashed her an easy grin as she greedily stared all over me. “Have you come far?” I asked. “We have students that come far and wide for the Collins Scholarship.”
She gave a small shake of her head. “Uh. No.”
“Okay, Lyra. Well you have your schedule. Jack will be around tomorrow to help you get settled. You’ll have your first practice in the morning before classes commence.”
She shook her head, firmer this time, sitting up a little straighter, her cheeks coloring with pink spots. “I don’t need babysitting,” she said to Greene.
I met her gaze, for one long moment. “That’s good. The last thing I am is a babysitter.”
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth biting down hard staring at me, like she couldn’t quite believe we were face to face. I stared right back. After an awkward pause she grabbed her backpack and got up. Her legs shook, a little quiver I didn’t think Greene saw, until he said, “Jack, you better make sure she gets back to her dorm safely. She doesn’t look well.”
I always promised I’d keep it cool if I ever saw her again.
A promise I always intended to keep.
For a long time, I’d tormented myself with ways I could make her pay for me having to leave that night.
Maybe I’d break her.
She was the only one who knew my past.
Never expected her to be the Collins kid though. That was a surprise. She must be even better than I remembered.