In the mind of most, what she was doing was most assuredly wrong, and she made no efforts to justify it to herself, let alone anyone else, but at the same time she didn’t feel a need to justify anything to anyone at the moment. And this was Sergio, she told herself again, turning around to face him now. She followed his eyes as they worked their way over her body, the body that had once been his for the taking, and was again if only for tonight. She honestly couldn’t begin to know where her mind would be once the sun rose again, but tonight it was right here, right now.
She couldn’t be certain just how tightly he held onto the grudge he held against her, or even the darkness at its deepest point, but she was sure she was safe with him no matter how much she had changed him or how much he had changed since. She would walk out of here alive in the morning; there was no doubt about that, but just how uncomfortable that particular walk might be remained to be seen. She was however certain he had every intention of doing what she had asked him to do so long ago, to do anything he pleased. She had seen that in his eyes when he had led her into the apartment. If payback was truly a bitch like everyone said, Lana was pretty sure that bitch was about to fuck her mercilessly, and God how she hoped it was so!
“Before we begin, do you wish to establish a safe word?”
“I don’t need one with you, Sergio,” she said, her head lowered in respect.
“Call me Ser,” he said.
“No Ser, I do not need a safe word; I trust you completely.”
She could see herself standing on the edge of the abyss she had once feared, once longed for. During the time they had been apart, she had come to find the strength in her submission, an absolute joy in her master’s approval. The Sergio she had known back then had been unwilling to let her get too close to that edge, afraid he wouldn’t be able to catch her, but the Sergio in front of her now seemed like he just might be capable of pushing her over that edge.
“Good,” he said, the confidence in his voice telling her that she was probably right in her observation of him, “I would like you to get on your hands and knees then.”
Uncertain exactly which direction he wanted her to face, either toward him or away for him presenting herself as an offering of flesh, Lana simply knelt in place. In her mind, if he had wanted her to turn around, he would have instructed her to do so. And just as he settled into the position, he did instruct her, only not as she had expected.
“I would like you to turn sideways, and ease a bit more in this direction,” he said.
Lana wasn’t sure which way to turn, so she went in the easiest direction, and as she glanced toward him to get some idea of just how much closer he wanted her to get, she saw him raise his feet off of the floor beside her. This was different, but she had no problem understanding what he intended. She eased herself to her right, positioning her lower back just under his hovering feet. Sergio crossed them in the air above her and then let gently lowered them onto her skin, the soft cotton of his socks cushioning her against the slight weight his feet presented.
“That’s nice,” he said, bringing his hands together behind his head.
3
The more she tried to convince herself that this was just another test, the more she knew it wasn’t. The episode in the hallway had been the only required test he had needed and Lana had passed it with flying colors. Though she knew it hadn’t been, it still seemed like hours that he had sat there in his recliner, resting his feet on the small of her back, seemingly unaware that she was completely naked.
Had she hoped for too much, too soon from Sergio? She was beginning to wonder. That definitive push over the proverbial cliff into debauchery she had expected had turned into a simple walk in the park. But just as she was beginning to lose hope, considering the idea of getting up and walking the fuck out of there, she again found herself looking over the edge of that cliff, and not only was Sergio not holding her hand, keeping her safe, he had both of his hands on her back. And then he pushed.
“I’m certain you know what to do with this,” he said calmly.
Just as she began to look up to see what he was talking about, it landed on the carpet right in front of her face. It wasn’t hers – hers was still sitting on the top of the trash van in Tink’s kitchen – but it was just as easily recognizable. The stitching around the eyelets at its base gave away their hand stitched origins. She didn’t have to turn it over to know that there was only one hole in the material.
“Yes, I know what to do with it Ser.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
Nothing, she wasn’t waiting for a Goddamn thing. Lana balanced herself on one hand while retrieving the black mask with the other and slipping it over her head. Just as she had known, there had only been one hole in the mask and when it was completely over her head, that hole was positioned perfectly in front of her mouth. Rocking back on her knees slightly, she was able to balance herself without using her hands. She tightened to cable behind her neck and found the small lock hanging from one end. She had no trouble locking herself into the hood. Once that was done, she returned her hands to the floor and waited.
Again the time passed around her, only this time there was no desire to get up and leave. Forever, that was how long she was willing to stay here in this position now. If he had no intention but to sit there and torture her by not doing anything else at all, her only response would be to thank him. He had no idea of the absolute bliss he had evoked inside her simply by tossing that piece of material on the floor in front of her.
Only, that wasn’t true because he had to have known. Otherwise, why would he go through the trouble of making the mask himself, just a she had done? He could just as easily have bought one at Christina’s Toy Box; they had them there and they weren’t that expensive. But he had made it himself and she was sure it had taken quite a while to do it. Lana tried to picture him her head, sitting here in this same recliner, piecing the mask together. She had no trouble imagining him thinking of her as he sewed the seams, trying to make one just like the one she had made when they had been together, just like the one she had kept hidden for so long, hidden from him…and then Tink. As the gravity of that gesture sank in, the searing revelation that she wouldn’t have to hide her mask any longer, or her passion to walk in the darkest shadow of the darkest worlds, she felt her heart release the weight that had bound it.
“Thank you, Ser,” she managed, barely able to keep her voice from cracking.
“You’re welcome.”
She felt his feet lift from her back and heard the recliner squeak slightly as he positioned himself and leaned forward. There was no sound but that of her own heart beating in her chest, and even with her hearing a bit obscured by the material against her face she could hear his breathing as he leaned over her. The soft, rhythmic flow of air moving in and out of his chest was idyllic, only adding to the clarity of the moment for Lana, a moment that had somehow managed to transcend contentment or mere pleasure. And for a moment, though he was two or maybe three feet away from her, she could feel his heartbeat as well. It was beating in time with her own, whispering softly to the soul she thought she had long ago lost. It spoke in a language that rendered meager words obsolete, a language of flawless tranquility. Lana knew she was finally free.
“What was it you wanted to talk about, Lana?”
The question stirred her from her thoughts and brought her back from the reflective peace, saddening her to some degree. It didn’t matter anymore. She had wanted a shoulder to cry on, a friendly ear to bend, but in the wake of her new realizations, her newly found perspective on herself and what that meant to everything else, she no longer felt like crying. Any feelings of being lost or confused had disappeared from her mind.
“It wasn’t as important as I thought it was, Ser,” she finally said.
“Good,” he said, “are you comfortable?”
“I’m happy,” she said.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
1
Lana t
ook her time as she carefully looked around the room. After taking out the trash and washing the dishes, she had gathered most of her clothes. Tink’s clothes would be waiting for him in the dryer whenever he got home, but she wouldn’t. Moving was always one of those events that offered a perfect opportunity to thin out a wardrobe and this was no exception. Two bags of clothes found their way to the dumpster along with the regular trash. Everything she planned to take with her had fit into the three duffel bags and they were already in the car. She put the key to the front door on the kitchen table and left, locking the door behind her as she pulled it closed.
Just as she got into her car and was about to back out of Tink’s driveway, a gray sedan pulled in behind her, blocking her path. She watched as Mel Massey got out from behind the wheel, waving as he walked toward her window. Lana turned the ignition off and opened her door, swinging her legs out of the car but remaining seated.
“Hello again,” she said.
He smiled and waved again, but Lana could clearly see the look on his face held no warmth within it. She instinctively grabbed for her cigarettes and lit one as he walked up the car. Mel motioned at the butt and she handed it to him before lighting another for herself. He took a second, long haul on his before speaking.
“It looks like you’re moving out,’ he said, nodding toward the bags in the backseat.
“It’s just time,” she said, “but if you don’t mind, I’d like to tell him myself.”
“Of course, that would probably be easier for him to take right now.”
“So how’s he doing anyway?”
“I take it you haven’t been by there today,” he said, but it wasn’t a question; he already knew the answer to that.
“No, why is something going on?”
“Yeah, but physically he’s doing real a lot better. In fact, they may let him come home today or tomorrow.”
Lana was glad to hear that. The last thing she wanted to do was be the cause of something going sideways with his recovery, and making things even worse than they were going to be anyway. The deception about his son, and all that mess before aside, she couldn’t deny what she felt for him. It was just that she was having a hard time justifying those feeling now, not knowing if the motivation behind them had all been a lie as well.
“What’s up?”
Mel looked uneasy, as if what he was about to tell her was going to hurt to say. A part of her wanted to believe it didn’t have anything to do with her, but she was quite certain it did, and that was unfortunate. She had to face the distinct possibility that she had misread Tink’s partner, and he was going to make a big stink about hers and Tink’s living together after all.
“Apparently the state department got wind of the fact that you were living here,” Mel started, staring at the ground as he spoke, “and with the added little twist that his son was the one who had abducted you, they are starting to think they might have missed a few things during the original investigation.”
Shit, it was about her, every bit about her but then again she had already known it would almost have to be. She had been intending on confronting Tink about this herself at some point, though she had planned to wait until he got better, but if the cops were wondering some of the same things she was wondering, then maybe she wouldn’t even have to ask him hell, for all she knew it might end up on the front page of the damn newspaper again.
“What are they thinking?”
She knew damn well what they were thinking, the same think she was thinking, but she wanted to hear it as if in some way it might help her to convince herself she wasn’t just imagining the bullshit that had been screaming in her head.
“Well, they are playing things pretty close to their chest at this point,” he said, “but it looks like they are wondering if he might have known you were there well before he actually rescued you.”
Christ, what would be worse, being a part of it all along or simply knowing about it and not doing anything? Lana couldn’t really see any real difference between the two, and even if there was a difference, she was certain it wasn’t big enough to make any fucking difference, not to her anyway.
“To be perfectly honest with you Mel,” she said slowly, “I have been wondering the same thing.”
She watched his face change slightly, and while she still saw no warmth, just the cold calculating face of a police detective, he did offer a slight smile that seemed to at least hint at some semblance of understanding. At least that’s what she thought she saw in the careful smile on his face anyway.
“Yeah, I guess I can see that,” he said.
“You’ve known him for a long time haven’t you?”
“Yeah, I’ve known him a little more than ten years, why?”
“I was wondering what you think, do you think he knew? Would he really just leave someone in a situation like that, I mean is he capable of something like that?”
“I don’t know,” he said flatly. “I thought I did, but if there is anything this line of work has taught me it’s that everyone, and yes that includes cops too, can and most usually will surprise you at some point.”
“Well, that’s really comforting to know,” she said, the sharp sarcasm intentionally dripping from the words.
“Yeah, but you did ask.”
“Yes, I did, but you really didn’t answer me.”
Mel stared at her for a minute, his face twisting slowly somewhere between looks of confusion and a hint of anger, but then he smiled again, and this time she did see something that might have been considered warmth, or at the very least compassion.
“I know,” he finally said, “but like I said, I really don’t know, not anymore.”
“I can relate to that I guess.”
“Lana, there’s something else about all this.”
“What’s that, Detective Massey?”
“Well, there’s some talk going around back at the station about the nature of your relationship with Tink. I mean with everything else that’s coming out, people are starting to ask more questions, more personal questions about it.”
“Personal, do you mean about our sex life?”
“Yeah, that is what I meant,” he said. “It’s just that some people are just wondering.”
“Are you wondering?”
“Yes, I guess I am.”
“Well, and you can tell the rest of them the same, it’s none of your fucking business.”
“I know, believe me I know,” he said, his hands rising up in front of him in some innocent, defensive gesture, “it’s just that if it’s anything like…well, like the other, then it makes people wonder.”
“Wonder what exactly?”
“Come on Lana, you know what I’m saying,” he said.
“No Mel, I don’t know what you’re saying, so just fucking say it already.”
“Well, if it is, and I’m not saying it is, but if it is similar in nature, then they are wondering of everything about the abduction is all above board.”
“Are you suggesting that if my sex life is not what they think it ought to be, then I made that shit up? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”
“Easy Lana, it’s not me saying that; I’m just saying people are wondering about it, that’s all.”
“Get your damn car out of the way,” she said, closing her car door and again starting the engine with a roar. He was saying something else to her, but she couldn’t hear him. When he moved closer to the car, she revved the motor louder to make sure she couldn’t hear him. At the same time, she made sure he saw her plainly as her middle finger raised above the others against the glass. Finally, he retreated to his own car and backed out of her way.
2
“No bullshit Tink, did you know?”
Lana had caught him as he was coming out of the hospital doors sitting in the required wheelchair before standing to get into Mel’s waiting car. He had smiled grandly and waved at her as she approached him, calling her name as if the very sight of her might somehow miraculous
ly heal whatever still ailed him. But her question had stopped him in mid motion as he was getting out of the chair and the smile was gone instantly. Mel, one of the hospital orderlies and even the older nurse that had talked with Lana the night Daniel had shown up, they were all standing silently watching, seemingly afraid to make a sound.
A passerby would probably equate their silence to the sort displayed when someone realized they had somehow stumbled into the path of a mother grizzly bear and her cub on some deserted trail, the idea being if they didn’t say a word, didn’t move, then perhaps they might not be noticed and therefore not be subjected to the wrath that seemed to inevitably follow such an encounter. The deafening silence even managed to swallow the sound of the street traffic behind her, as perhaps even innocent commuters might have had some idea how close they were to danger.
“Lana, I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” he tried unsuccessfully.
“Bullshit! You know damn well what I’m talking about, now tell me. Did you know?”
Mel, realizing just how volatile the situation was quickly becoming, made his way around the back of his sedan and positioned himself tactically between Lana and Tink. He tried to show the warmth she had looked for earlier in his features, but she wouldn’t have noticed even if he had managed to pull it off. As far as she was concerned, he might as well have not even been there, and none of the others either as far as that went.
Tink stood there absolutely speechless, his eyes rocking backward in a defensive state of shock before glazing over in a loud and clear indication of the guilt she had already associated with him and the events that had changed her life completely and irreversibly. When he lowered his head, unable to look at her, Lana saw red.
Freeing Lana Page 15