‘So we’re still playing guessing games,’ he said dryly. ‘I’ll skip the coffee if you don’t mind, Ruby. Thanks for the meal, it was most welcome. Enjoy what’s left of the weekend and I’ll see you Monday.’
Before she could cave in to the temptation to forget everything except how much she wanted him, he had gone and she was left to imagine what life would be like without Hugo living just a few yards away.
On the Monday morning they were both in for a surprise. Libby and Nathan were arranging a small dinner party at the house on the island for the coming weekend with John Gallagher and themselves as guests.
When Nathan mentioned it to Hugo before the surgery got under way on the Monday morning his spirits lifted. If Ruby accepted the invitation it would give them a little more precious time together in beautiful surroundings, he thought, with his good friends the Gallaghers to make it complete.
It was Libby who passed on the invitation to Ruby, who had just arrived at the practice looking downcast, and as she watched her hesitate the thought came that the young doctor who had been with them for so short a time was going to refuse and the whole idea of the friendly little get-together would be wasted, as she and Nathan had thought of it as a last opportunity for two people they liked and respected to get their lives sorted in tranquil surroundings.
But Ruby was smiling, the colour was coming back into her cheeks.
‘I’d love to come, Libby,’ she said. ‘My last two days here by the lake will be more bearable with that to look forward to.’
CHAPTER TEN
‘HAVE you accepted Libby and Nathan’s invitation to their dinner party on your last weekend here?’ Hugo asked when he and Ruby came face to face at the end of morning surgery.
‘Yes,’ she replied, with the memory of his abrupt exit from the apartment the night before still clear in her mind. ‘Have you?’
‘Of course,’ he replied. ‘An overnight stay on the island with friends is something I wouldn’t want to miss. John has suggested that the three of us sail over together on Saturday afternoon, if that’s all right with you.’
‘Er, yes, I suppose so,’ she told him absently, her glance riveted on the dark attractiveness of him that had taken her breath away and made her heart beat faster when they’d first met, and now had her crying inside all the time at the thought of shutting him out of her life.
If he was aware of the effect he was having on her, Hugo showed no sign of it. When Nathan had mentioned the dinner party he had guessed that the two doctors had arranged it to make the parting of the ways for Ruby and himself less painful and abrupt, and been grateful, even though he felt that their efforts would be futile.
The two of them would be taking the antenatal clinic later, as was usual on Mondays, and it would be the last time they did anything together, he thought as they separated without any further conversation.
As they dealt with the mothers-to-be in their different stages of pregnancy, some of them blooming and enjoying every moment of the amazing thing that was happening to them, and others with problems such as high blood pressure that had to be watched carefully, varicose veins, diabetes that had surfaced during the gestation period, to name a few, he saw how calm and reassuring Ruby was with the women who were nervous of the body changes they were experiencing.
And how while she was examining those who were sailing through the experience she listened patiently to their hopes and dreams for the future, when her own was so uncertain.
She was a gem and with the thought of the jewel she was named after he wondered what she’d done with the ring, and surmised that it would be stuffed at the back of a drawer somewhere out of sight.
It hurt him to think that when he’d asked her to marry him she hadn’t given him the chance to choose between having her as a wife with no children from the marriage or taking the way out she was offering and ending the relationship. It had been a matter of her accepting that he would want a family first and foremost and with regard to that she’d proved to be unmovable.
When the clinic was over he said, ‘You have just the right approach with our pregnant patients, don’t miss a thing with regard to their general health and wellbeing, yet…’ He paused and she knew what was coming next, ‘You don’t ever want to be in that position yourself?’
Not much! she thought grimly, but it was only to be expected that Hugo would see her recent behaviour in that light, and with a shrug of the shoulders she told him, ‘Maybe it’s because I always seemed to be on the maternity wards when we were sent out to do hospital-based training, and now I’m in the clinic here so…’
The nurse came in to clear away at that moment and with the second surgery of the day looming they separated and went to greet those in the waiting room with their various complaints.
The evenings of that last week in Swallowbrook passed as they had done for the last three, with Ruby down by the lake, drinking in every inch of its beauty to remember it by, and Hugo watching her set off with increasing impatience.
It was as if she was playing some sort of game with him, he thought. Was there no sorrow in her because she was leaving Swallowbrook and him, who it would seem was of less importance as she never came near him in the evenings.
On the Friday lunchtime she provided sandwiches and cakes and assorted savouries for the staff and everyone tucked in except Hugo who felt they would choke him. Afterwards he watched grim-faced, trying to ignore the tears on her lashes, as Libby presented her with a bouquet of flowers from them all, and then it was back to work on her last day at the Swallowbrook Medical Practice.
That evening he decided he’d had enough. He’d watched Ruby set off for the lake once again and began to follow her at a distance, determined to get at the truth of whether she loved him or not. If she admitted that she did he would want some answers regarding where her aversion to family life had come from.
He’d thought sometimes that it might have arisen from when her baby brother had been born with so many years between them. That maybe he’d been the centre of her parents’ attention and she’d been pushed to one side, which had given her a jaundiced view of family life. Yet he could tell that Ruby loved her family from the way she spoke about them, so he couldn’t see it being anything like that.
On the other hand, if she said that she didn’t love him, at least he would know where he stood, as nothing could be worse than not knowing.
She was out of sight by the time he was ready to follow her and on his way Hugo had to pass the park, which was empty except for Sarah Bellingham seated on a bench, feeding the birds.
He made to hurry past but she’d seen him and called across ‘Dr Lawrence, can you spare a moment?’
Groaning inwardly, he went across to her and concealing his impatience asked pleasantly, ’What can I do for you, Mrs Bellingham?’
‘You remember that day when you and Dr Hollister came to my house? It was when the nurse was there and she’d been bossing me about…’
‘Er, yes, I remember,’ he told her hastily.
‘And do you recall me asking Dr Hollister about her young brother who’d been poorly at the time they left Swallowbrook?’
‘I remember something like that, but didn’t take much notice as it all happened long before I came to live here, and if you’ll excuse me I am in rather a hurry.’
He was turning, ready to leave, but she hadn’t finished and was not going to let him go until she had.
Ignoring what he’d said, she went on to say, ‘I remembered afterwards what was wrong with him. The child had that bleeding illness. He cut himself badly on some broken glass and it wouldn’t stop bleeding. Like a slaughterhouse it was, but Dr John was onto it, knew what it was, had the ambulance there straight away, and the tests they took showed that he was right.’
‘I see,’ Hugo said slowly, a glimmer of li
ght appearing in the midst of his confusion, and it was coming from a most unexpected source, but he had to put Sarah off the track to protect Ruby if there should be any truth in what she was saying, so he said casually, ‘Yes, but I remember that Dr Hollister said that her brother is fine now, so maybe it was a false alarm of long ago as, like she said, everything seems to be all right now, so I would put it out of your mind.’
And contrite that he hadn’t enquired about how her new hip was working he chatted for a few moments more then, desperate to be by himself as his mind grappled with what the old lady had told him in all innocence, he left her still feeding the birds and went back to Lakes Rise to think about what he was going to say to John Gallagher.
Incredible thoughts were crowding his mind, yet they were strangely believable, and before he saw Ruby again he needed some answers.
The lake had no appeal tonight, thought Ruby as she walked back to the apartment with dragging steps. She’d gone there each night to find solace and to stop herself from weakening in her resolve to stay away from Hugo until she was on her way home, but tonight she just wanted to be near him, to see him, and instead of going straight into the apartment she went across to the house.
She knew she would see him tomorrow at the dinner party, but they wouldn’t be alone there. Libby and Nathan’s invitation had been something she couldn’t refuse. She’d known she ought to, that it would be a painful pleasure to take her leave of Hugo in such beautiful surroundings, but it was one more chance to be near him before she left the village on Sunday evening, and now that the time for her departure had come, every moment near him was not to be missed.
Lakes Rise was in darkness, no car on the drive, and disappointment was like a bitter taste in her mouth. Yet why should she expect him to be there just because she was suddenly desperate to be near him? She’d stayed well away from him every other evening and he’d kept out of her comings and goings, but now on a last desperate whim she wanted him and he wasn’t there.
John was seated in his garden, watching the sun go down at the end of a beautiful day, and when Hugo pulled up outside the lodge on the riverbank he got to his feet and observed him in surprise.
The two men were on good terms. The elderly GP liked and respected Hugo, but he wasn’t a regular visitor and neither did he usually look so grim.
‘Want can I get you, Hugo?’ he asked. ‘Tea, coffee or a glass of wine maybe?’
Hugo shook his head. ‘Nothing, John, thanks just the same. I’m here seeking information.’
‘What about?’ he asked, and pointed to a garden chair nearby. ‘Make yourself comfortable.’
‘I’m too tense to relax,’ he said sombrely. ‘You, John, are the first person to know that I’ve asked Ruby to marry me and received a very definite refusal, which I would have had to accept gracefully if she’d said it was because she wasn’t in love with me. But the reason she gave was connected with the fact that she doesn’t want children and knowing that I would want a family she felt that it wouldn’t be fair to me if she married me.
‘I felt at the time that if she loved me as much as I love her it would be for me to decide if I wanted to accept her views on family life. I still do feel like that, but she is adamant that she won’t marry me and I need some answers.’
‘And you’ve come to me?’ his listener said heavily.
‘Yes, because I think you might have the answer that I’m looking for. Ruby has been going down to the lake each evening to get away from me, I presume, and tonight, with only forty-eight hours before she leaves Swallowbrook, I set off to follow her, determined to find out once and for all what is going on that I don’t know about.
‘On my way down there Sarah Bellingham accosted me. She was in the park, feeding the birds, and out of the blue told me that when Ruby’s young brother was rushed into hospital all that time ago it was because he had what Sarah described as the bleeding illness, and light began to dawn.
‘Is it right what she says, John? You were his doctor at that time, weren’t you?’
He sighed. ‘I’d rather you asked your questions of Ruby herself, Hugo. I can understand your desperation, but it is something that you have to clarify between the two of you, face to face, as it puts her in a very difficult position having to answer questions about something that she obviously hasn’t wanted to discuss. I suggest you go and find her and treat her gently, whatever the outcome of your meeting.’
‘You’re right,’ he said heavily. ‘It was wrong of me to want to involve you in our affairs. I’ll try down by the lake and if Ruby isn’t there will wait for her back at Lakes Rise until she appears, no matter how long it takes.’
He was poised to leave and the other man said, ‘It isn’t that I wouldn’t want to help you both find some happiness, Hugo, but I feel that it is a very private thing that you want some answers for, and that as I only knew a small part of it am better not interfering. So good luck to you both, and let us hope that Sarah Bellingham’s chatter tonight might result in bringing some clarity to Ruby’s feelings for you. If it does, will you still want to marry her?’
‘Yes, more than ever, knowing that the woman I love is willing to put my happiness before her own at such sacrifice, but she’s got it wrong, John, without her I will never be happy.’
He was halfway down the path with his hand on the gate latch as he said, ‘Thanks for your time. When we meet at the ferry tomorrow to sail across for the dinner party I hope to have Ruby’s answer.’
‘And that it’s the one you want, eh?’ was the reply. ‘May the gods be good to you, Hugo.’
When he arrived back at the house it was his turn to find the person he was desperate to see not available. There were no lights on in the apartment and when he rang the bell there was no Ruby opening the door to him, so she had either gone to bed or hadn’t come back from the lake, and as daylight had now turned to dusk if she didn’t appear within seconds he would be off down there to seek her out.
He rang the bell again several times and as he was turning away the door opened and she was there with a robe over a short satin nightdress, obviously either having got out of bed to answer the urgent ringing down below or having been on her way upstairs.
Ruby had just reached the top when he’d rung the first time and had stood motionless on the landing, hoping he would go away. Her previous desperation to be with Hugo had gone. In his absence she’d had the chance to face up to the futility of any further contact between them, and now just wanted sleep to come and take her into the last hours of her life in Swallowbrook without any more hurt, but it was not to be, she thought as she stood back to let him into the darkened apartment.
The first thing Hugo did was switch on the lights. He wanted to see Ruby’s expression when he asked her the question that was filling his mind.
Taking her hand, he led her into the lounge without either of them having yet spoken and when she was seated he stood looking down at her gravely, and in that moment she knew she couldn’t leave the village without everything being straight and truthful between them, no matter what he said, or what he did afterwards, as nothing could be worse than denying Hugo what he was entitled to know.
‘Hugo, I can’t go without telling you the truth,’ she told him. ‘I’ve kept it from you long enough because I couldn’t face the telling of it, but I need things to be honest and straightforward between us before I leave this place.’ She took a deep breath and rising to stand before him said, ‘The reason I don’t want children and can’t marry you is because…’
‘You’ve got the haemophilia gene,’ he said gently, and saw the colour drain from her face and her eyes grow huge in the whiteness of it.
‘Who has told you that?’ she whispered.
‘No one. A chance remark made in all innocence set me thinking and the more I thought about it, the more it seemed believable, so is it tru
e, Ruby? I have to know.’
‘Yes, it’s true,’ she said wearily. ‘That is why I can’t marry you, Hugo. I can’t deny you what should be rightfully yours because you feel sorry for me, or at this moment might think that my problem doesn’t matter, because one day it will matter a lot.’
‘And you were prepared to walk out of my life, throw away what we’ve got, without my opinion being asked?’ he said gently. ‘How could you do that to me, Ruby?’
‘I once told a guy that I was dating about the faulty gene. He was a medical student like I was and he dropped me like a hot potato. When I met you I couldn’t face the hurt of it happening again because I’d met the love of my life.’
‘And so you feel that what you are doing is the least hurtful thing?’
‘It has to be, hasn’t it?’
Apart from holding her hand as he led her into the sitting room, he hadn’t touched her so far, but it wasn’t for the want of doing so. He ached to hold her close and bring Ruby the comfort and reassurance of his love for her, but first he had to say his piece, make sure that she wasn’t going to feel anything other than cherished beyond her wildest dreams.
‘You are beautiful and generous,’ he told her, ‘ready to give up on love for my sake and the children that you won’t put at risk, but if we don’t have any of our own, what is to stop us from caring for the children of others? There are children everywhere who desperately need loving parents, either through adoption or fostering. We have an example of the joy that can bring to both the child and those who have chosen to care for them in Toby, happy and contented with Libby and Nathan.’
Spring Proposal in Swallowbrook Page 14