When I got back to Rosalinda, she was sitting on the ledge, staring out at the horizon.
“I’m sorry,” I said. I couldn’t remember if I’d told her that. “It’s my fault what happened to Edrard, and I’m sorry.”
“I don’t blame you.” I wasn’t expecting her to say that, and she didn’t sound angry. “The thing is, Gentry would have followed you to the ends of the earth. Edrard couldn’t even be bothered to help with the housework. What he did, that wasn’t because of you. He did it for Gentry, for brotherhood. Maybe it was stupid, but it was also incredibly brave.”
We walked back to the car without talking. I popped the trunk to get my purse and, while the trunk was open, I uprooted the FOR SALE sign and put it in. Then we got on the road to Wichita.
“Would it help if you had your own phone?” I said, after we’d been driving for a while. Now that I’d thought about the FOR SALE sign for thirty miles, I was ready to think about something else. “I could get a phone for you on my plan for like fifty bucks a month.”
“Why would you get a phone for me?” She looked at me like I’d invited her to join a coven of lesbians.
“Why wouldn’t I? I’m just saying, would it help you? With your Etsy store? Not having to count on your brother for so much. Because it’s not that expensive. I can afford that.”
“Seven,” she said. We were up to seven hawks on the drive back. She was quiet for probably ten minutes, until she said, “I could pay you back eventually.”
“You don’t have to. It’s not a loan.”
“That’s a lot of money for you to just give me.”
“Let’s say a year,” I said. “We’ll do it for a year, and either you’ll be able to afford it yourself next year, or we’ll work something else out.”
A year was only six hundred bucks. It wasn’t a lot of money, and it didn’t do a thing to make me less sad about Edrard, but at least I was doing something useful for somebody. When we got to town, we went by the Verizon store and she picked out a phone. With taxes, it was forty-eight dollars a month. The same as it had been when LaReigne and I had a phone plan together. Mine was the first number that went into Rosalinda’s phone.
“If you need anything, you can call me. Like if you need a ride to the post office. Or whatever,” I said, when I pulled up to her folks’ house to drop her off.
“Okay.”
I was relieved that she didn’t say thank you, because she didn’t owe me anything. It wasn’t charity.
“Why did you take the FOR SALE sign?” she said.
“Because it’s not for sale.” Some things weren’t for sale.
CHAPTER 57
Gentry
My cellmate was called Nate, and upon our meeting he was quick to make jest of me.
“Shit, we got Prince Valiant up in here,” he said, when first I spake to him.
I took it not amiss, for his hands weren open and he rose to greet me, not to oppose me. Sooth, Nate and I weren well matched. He minded not that I paced, and I minded not that he snored. ’Twas no worse than to share a room with Trang.
Malvern was a place of small chambers and smaller windows, but after some weeks, I began to think I needlessly borrowed the Witch’s superstition over the name. Among what was called general population, there was the yard, there was daylight, there was chapel on Sundays, and Nate would hear tales and tell them also, so we might while away our time of penance. I wrote letters that my family might know I thought of them. I would write to Lady Zhorzha, but I knew not where my letters would find her, nor whether they would be welcomed. To my great shame, I remembered not her words on parting. Nor mine own.
There weren some queds and knaves who would offer me offense, but they frighted me not. I would meet a push with a push and a blow with a blow.
When I had been there nigh a month, Nate was called to take physic for a tooth that troubled him, and I remained alone. Two men came to the open door of the cell and demanded I know not what, for I was speaking with Gawen and heard them not. Seeing how the first man drew his elbow close to his body, I sat up, for I knew he meant to strike me. Were he quicker he might have done so.
He swung, keen to land his blow when I was unready, but I grasped his hand and, pulling him with it, laid him upon the floor. He rose and made to strike me again, but ’twas much diminished and landed upon my shoulder. I meant to end the skirmish as quick as I might, and struck my elbow upon his throat with some force. He fell prostrate and the other man, who by a venture had come to fight me also, instead bore his friend up and retreated.
“I heard some of those Aryan boys got it in for you,” Nate said upon his return, when he learned what had betiden. “Dude named Scanlon saying you killed a blood relation of his. That true?”
“Mayhap. For my brother and I fought and slew three men that weren numbered among those who call themselves Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. One was called Scanlon.”
“You for real killed you some KKK motherfuckers? Shit, I guess that makes you an honorary nigga around here.”
Sooth, I was sore in need of a friend in that place, and Nate seemed to me an honorable man. His crime was the manufacture and sale of a controlled substance, for which he served a sentence longer than mine own, but he was ne a man of violence ne a liar. I was alone in that place, but he took me in among his brethren, and invited me to sup with them. In the yard, they kept their own place, where they lifted weights and played at cards. When I slept in the sun, I was safe among them, but ’twas Nate’s certainty that Scanlon would seek to fight me again.
“Dude come at you, figured you for an easy mark,” Nate said. “He won’t make that mistake again. Next time, he’ll come around with a couple bigger dudes. Killers.”
“I am trained in melee combat,” I said.
“You understand,” said Vernon, he that was first among Nate’s brothers. “We can’t buck for you, man. Not at this juncture. If it turned into a brawl, the warden would come down on us. Nothing personal, but you gotta fight this one yourself.”
“Nay, I ask it not of you. Ye musten guard yourselves.”
“You, too, my man. You gotta keep your head on a swivel,” Nate said.
“Certs. The black knight be ever vigilant.”
“Shit. The black knight.” Vernon was not alone in his laughter, for Nate and his brothers weren much amused that I carried the black knight with me.
Later, when we awaited lights out, Nate returned to the matter of Scanlon.
“You can’t let him off easy next time. None of that chivalry shit. When those Aryans come for you again, whoever comes for you, you gotta give them a real beatdown. Knock they teeth in. You go for blood, so they don’t mess with you again,” he said.
It liked me not, but Nate spake truth. I came to Arkansas under the dragon banner and under it I would remain for the length of my sentence in Malvern. No mercy, no quarter.
When Scanlon came for me again, he brought with him two men. One called Bobby, who had no teeth to be knocked in, and one called Orvis that stood nigh six and a half feet tall, and was made of a great deal more cunning than was Scanlon.
“I got it on good authority that you’re the man who killed my cousin Paul,” Scanlon said. He would make himself heard that day, though his voice was damaged by the last blows we exchanged.
“Sooth,” I said. “I slew thy cousin in fair combat. He came well-armed and might have slain me, but could not.”
“What the fuck is this?” Orvis said. “Speak some fucking English.”
“That don’t mean shit to me,” Scanlon said. “All I know is this fucking nigger lover’s gonna answer for Paul’s death.”
Answer, I did.
They three pressed me to a corner, as tho they would stop my escape, but in truth, it gave cover to my back, that they could not attack from all sides. Certs my life was forfeit if I failed, so I fought as tho I
meant to rend their limbs from their bodies.
I wished I had a lion to come to my aid, as did Yvain, but ’twas I alone. Tho they beat me and wounded me, I spared them not and gave them what hurt I could. Bobby was no more than a flea, and I felled him with a blow to his knee that made him cry out, and he would fight no more.
As Orvis made to crush me with his fists, I grappled Scanlon as I had his kinsman before him. Once I made him fast, I smote his head upon the wall, a dozen times or more, til blood stained the stones of Malvern.
Then I faced the giant alone.
Had we fought full armored, we should have shattered our shields and bent our blades. The battle burned hot, for the gaolers wished our feud ended and stopped it not.
Orvis and I traded blows til our arms tired. Unlike Yvain and Gawain, we had no love between us, and Malvern was no place for honor. I fought on, tho my sides heaved with effort, and my breath was like a knife, where Orvis broke my ribs.
Ere ’twas done, methinks we both would have given much to quit the field, but we could not fight to a draw. If I bested not Scanlon’s giant, I would have no peace, and the giant’s pride allowed him grant me no quarter.
I found one blow more in my hands than had the giant in his. I found his jaw softer than my skull. I found the virtue to advance, when he retreated. At last, he lay upon the ground, a bloodied heap, while I stood firm upon my feet. I, conqueror, and he, conquered.
I was taken first to the infirmary, where my arm was put back into its socket. ’Twas the same as was injured before. My ribs were bound and my nose and fingers splinted. My head was declared not too badly broken, tho I had used it to break the teeth and nose and fists of a giant. Thence, I was forsent to what they called Segregation, where there weren no windows and none but those within me to speak to.
In a short while I kenned not day, night, nor the passage of time. The black knight laid plans as tho like Edmond Dantès, we weren entombed within le Château d’If. He was aright in one thing. If I could tame ne my mind ne mine heart, I would make my body submit. Hour upon hour, I built muscle, strained sinew, said my prayers upon a bank of sweat and pain. Let Hildegard say what she might, in that place where there was dark but no night, I thought long on Lady Zhorzha’s milk-white thighs and the flame twixt them. I had beaten a giant, but I surrendered to lust.
My flesh was gratified, but my mind ran to confusion. Let the Witch be silent, but she would hear me. I cursed her, cursed the day she first spake to me, cursed even the day she set me to be Lady Zhorzha’s champion.
When those curses brought no solace, I cursed myself. For I failed Lady Zhorzha. For I failed Sir Edrard. For I failed my mother and father. I was Yvain in the woods, gone mad, and my hair and beard grew to suit my madness. I knew not how to gain an audience with Lady Zhorzha or the Witch, nor how to plead my case.
In my weakest hour, thrown down into the pit, he that was called Dr. Kimber came to me again. I met him first when I was sent to be assessed, and he had declared me an interesting case. I made the plea that brought me to Malvern, rather than submit to his physic. For I recalled the therapy of my childhood, when I was treated as a dumb beast that might be yoked.
“How are you, Gentry?” Dr. Kimber said. “I thought you might finally be ready to talk to me. Segregation can be a great time to set your priorities and make changes. A chance to start over.”
For some while, I could do naught but scratch my neck, seeking calm. ’Twas my wish that he should go, but he remained, and would have me speak. I knew not how to greet him when my mind was undone, and so first I repeated the prayer Hildegard offered up.
Jesu, with Thy precious Blood
And Thy bitter Passion
Aid me to be right and good
Grant me Thy Salvation
“It’s good that you have your faith,” Dr. Kimber said. “It can help you get through your time here, but I’d like to see you do more than just do time. I’d like to see you make progress. I could make things a little easier for you.
“Part of the reason you’re here is that you live too much in your fantasy world. You need to come back to this world, and we don’t speak Shakespearean English here.”
I dared not tell him nigh two hundred years lay twixt Shakespeare and my tongue, and I should not speak at all, if I was not allowed to speak as I would.
“Tell me about this person you’re so angry with. I was here yesterday and heard you begging them to talk to you. You seemed pretty upset. I’m curious what you think this person can tell you.”
Dr. Kimber came in the guise of a confessor, but ’twas for his own curiosity that he would peer into my soul. I dared not speak to the Witch aloud, but I made my daily plea.
“Give me some sign, some word. ’Tis mine own fault that Sir Edrard is dead. Had I listened to thee and come alone to Arkansas, he would yet live. Only tell me what I am to do now.”
After months of silence, the Witch spake: “This physician is a fool and easily fooled to thy gain.”
“I know segregation can be hard, but it’s possible I can get you out of here sooner, if you’re willing to work with me. Gentry, do you hear me? Are you okay?” Dr. Kimber said.
“Yes,” I said. “I am okay.”
’Twas a devil’s bargain, for after that, he came each day. In trade for playing his games, for taking his physic, anon I was given my clothes and my razor and then a book to read. My sojourn there was marked as good time.
True to his word, Dr. Kimber shortened my time of solitary penance, and the gaolers returned me to my cell. Tho small, ’twas blessed with a window and sunlight.
“Look at that,” Nate said in greeting. “Sir Lancelot done eighty days and don’t look too much worse for wear.”
Tho my mind was at ease, I had slept poorly in the dungeon. In the yard, the sun was as a white-hot coal upon mine eyes, but a blessing. I lay down upon the asphalt and rested with none to keep watch, for the word had been given out that Scanlon and the Aryans would try me no more.
CHAPTER 58
Zee
I don’t know what I would have done if Charlene had answered the door, but I got lucky, and it was Bill, holding a coffee mug.
“Zee,” he said, looking at the FOR SALE sign. “Would you like to come in?”
“If that’s okay.”
I thought if I could get in the door, we could have a conversation, but while we were still standing there, Charlene came up behind him.
“What is this nonsense?” she said when she saw the sign.
I’d only brought it to the door, because I didn’t know what else to do with it.
“I think Zee has something to say to us,” Bill said.
“Well, I’ve got a few things to say to her.”
“Now, Charlene—”
“Don’t you say it. Don’t you tell me to calm down or be nice, Bill. Because my son—our son—my baby boy that I spilt tears and sweat and blood for—is sitting in a prison in Arkansas because of this girl.”
I’d never heard anybody say girl like it was a dirty word, but she did. She said a lot of other things, too. Like trash and user and selfish and ugly, and then she circled back on trash, but she was losing steam, because there was maybe half a minute of silence between her saying, “Curse the day you ever set foot in this house” and “Whatever you have to say, I’m not interested in hearing it.”
“I’m interested in hearing it,” Bill said, and pushed the door open far enough for me to step inside. I left the sign propped up against the side of their house.
“Goddamn you,” Charlene said to Bill, who led me into the dining room. She must have been in the middle of cooking dinner, but the table wasn’t set yet. A stack of plates and silverware were waiting on Trang.
“Okay, Zee,” Bill said, after we were sitting down.
“I want to say that I’m sorry, even though I kn
ow it doesn’t do you or Gentry any good. But I don’t want you to think I’m not sorry, just because I haven’t said it. And I’m sorry for coming here, because I know I’m not welcome, but I wanted to ask about the FOR SALE sign, because I don’t want Gentry to sell his land and—and the castle.” That was really as far as I’d gotten in figuring out what I needed to say. “Because I know how much it means to him, and what happened is my fault.”
“You damn right it is,” Charlene called from the kitchen, which would have been funny if I didn’t think she’d be happy to slap me silly. She came to the doorway and glared at me. “And how dare you go out to Bryn Carreg? What right do you have to go out there?”
“None,” I said. “But Rosalinda asked me to take her there to spread Edrard’s ashes.”
“Oh, you went out there to help scatter the ashes of a man you got killed?” Charlene took a deep breath and said, “That could have been my son!”
“Charlene,” Bill said.
“Our son!”
I nodded, because it was all true. Charlene took another breath and snorted it out. Then she turned and went back to the kitchen. Because Bill didn’t say anything, I tried to go back to what we’d been talking about.
“It’s bad enough Gentry is being punished for trying to help me, but I couldn’t stand for him to get punished by losing Bryn Carreg, too,” I said.
“I think you know that’s not the kind of people we are.” Bill crossed his arms on the table and leaned toward me. It made me wish Charlene would come back. I could stomach her yelling at me, because I’d spent most of my life with my mother yelling at me. I wasn’t sure I could take Bill being kind and fatherly.
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