by Rina Kent
His hold on my hip is as tight as his face, urging me to release him, but I don’t.
I can’t.
I don’t want to.
“Let go.” It’s two words. Two single words, but they sound non-negotiable and harsh.
When I don’t, he effortlessly removes my fingers from his shoulder, then easily flips me over. My breasts flatten against the sofa and my body heats so fast that it feels like I’ve been set on fire while being doused in gasoline.
Strange energy rushes through me, demanding I kick and fight, that I hit and claw.
Something. Anything. As long as I’m not in this position, beneath him, where he doesn’t want to look at me.
I think I must’ve moved, because when he gets behind me, he feels stiff, hard almost, as if he’s seeing my inner turmoil.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” His tone is clipped, which is the tone he only uses when he’s mad.
And he shouldn’t be right now.
Like I shouldn’t be having these weird feelings.
“I don’t like it,” I whisper, burying my face in the pillow.
“You don’t like what?”
“This.” There’s a brokenness in my voice, and I wish it was because of Kirill and Adrian finding me. I wish it had something to do with them or my double life, but it doesn’t.
Because ever since I stepped into Knox’s apartment, I haven’t thought about that or them.
I’ve only ever thought about him.
The man who’s now pushing off of me. The absence of his weight and his touch make me feel empty, desolate even.
Slowly, too slowly, I turn my head to the side and catch a glimpse of him standing there like a god. His hands are crossed over his muscled chest and he’s narrowing his eyes at me.
“What’s the problem?” His question is calm, but the tone isn’t.
There’s so much tension there, so much punch behind his words that it tightens my throat.
“I just…”
“What? You’re just what?”
“I want to have sex while I look at you.”
“And I want to see your eyes, your real eyes, but neither of us is getting what we want.”
“Why are you so obsessed with seeing my real eyes?”
“Because I’d see the real you behind them. Not the Anastasia from that night or the Jane you became. Just you.”
My lips part and a flash of emotions attack my belly in need of a release.
So I stand up, bent on going to him, on kissing him, on telling him that if he wants to see my eyes, he can.
He’s the only one who can.
Because unlike everyone else who knows me, he wouldn’t see me as Anastasia Sokolov, the only daughter of Sergei Sokolov, the Pakhan of the New York Bratva.
He wouldn’t see me as a sheltered princess to be protected or used. He would just see me. The Anastasia who escaped her jail to be free, to live.
To be alive.
But my impulsive moment is put to a halt when the doorbell rings.
It sounds like an alarm in the stilled silence and I flinch.
Knox, however, seems more annoyed than surprised. “I’ll go get rid of whoever is there and then I’m coming back to see this to the end. Don’t fucking move.”
I wouldn’t even if he hadn’t ordered me, because I’m watching his strong back as he marches to the door.
My toes curl and I’m not sure if it’s because of him or what he said. I like how he never lets misunderstandings stand between us, that he’s always looking forward.
Never backward.
Never sideways.
Always ahead.
And I think it’s rubbing off on me, because I want to be that way, too—a forward-looking person who doesn’t let the past shackle them down.
But I have to talk about it first with him, no?
I have to strip myself bare and actually let him see a part of me that even I’m scared about showing to anyone.
“Good evening, punk.” An older male voice says from the door in a very distinctive, proper British accent.
Before I can wonder who it is, Knox’s next word answers my unasked question. “Dad?”
28
ANASTASIA
Did he just say “Dad”?
My heart thumps against my ribcage and my throat is drying with each passing second. I quickly button my shirt—Knox’s shirt—and I’m grateful it’s big enough to cover my nakedness.
Before I can run to hide into the bedroom or even the kitchen, Knox reappears in the living room accompanied by a much older man who’s probably in his early fifties. He’s wearing a sharp three-piece suit and has light blond stubble covering his jaw.
Two women are on either side of him, both are shorter than him and look nothing alike. One is slim, blonde, and tall like my cousin, Rai, and the other is petite, wears her black hair short, and has tiny features.
Knox’s twin sister.
I don’t even have to guess. Although her eyes are a darker brown and she’s way shorter than him, the look in her eyes is similar to his.
A little bit haunted.
A little bit odd.
And just…deep.
It’s as if they’ve both seen the world and didn’t like it, but they won’t give it the satisfaction of leaving. They both have this determination of “I’m here to stay.”
And as much as that fascinates me, I don’t have the luxury of feeling it right now, because I’m half-naked. In front of who I assume are Knox’s dad and sisters.
Assume, as in, I stalked them on social media when I first came to W&S and met Knox again.
What? I had to look out for myself.
Is it too late to actually disappear? Because I feel like I’m about to catch fire from the way three pairs of eyes are watching me intently.
“Did we come at a bad time?” his father asks with a slight smirk.
“Who are you?” the blonde asks with more amusement than judgment.
I rub my foot against the back of my calf. “I…uh…”
“No one you should worry about.” Knox strides to my side and even though he’s not touching me, his presence brings much-needed comfort.
“Nonsense,” his father says with the same tilt of his mouth. “My name is Ethan Steel. I’m Knox’s father. This is Teal, his twin sister, and this one is Elsa, his other sister. What’s your name?”
“J-Jane.”
I bite my lip after the stutter. Why the hell did I want to say “Anastasia” just now? It doesn’t make sense when I should be keeping my other identity completely under wraps.
“Nice to meet you, Jane.” Elsa leaves her father’s side and takes my hand in a handshake. “I can’t wait to hear all about you.”
“Or…” Knox stands between us and tactfully pushes her back. “You can take the next plane back to London. Take Dad and T with you while you’re at it.”
“Not going to happen. We didn’t come all this way just to leave. Right, Teal?”
Knox’s twin sister nods. “Yes. After all, I’m here because I was wondering what’s making you so different lately.”
“T!”
“What? You wouldn’t tell me.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Obviously, there is.” Elsa smiles with clear mischief. “I’m so glad we decided to tag along on Dad’s business trip.”
“Well, I’m not. So the three of you can leave.”
“No,” Teal announces point-blank.
Elsa hugs her by the shoulder. “What she said.”
“I’m calling your husbands.” He reaches into his pocket and retrieves his phone and then he puts it on speakerphone as it rings.
I fidget when I read the caller ID—Aiden.
He picks up with a deep, bored, “Hey, fucker.”
“Hello to you, too, arsehole. In case you didn’t know, Elsa is here, in New York. I don’t see you anywhere near her, which, if I remember correctly, hasn’t happened in the past thousand yea
rs.”
“So?”
Knox pauses, then shakes the phone as if he can physically shake the person on the other end. “Hello? Is this Aiden King’s phone? Who are you and what the bloody hell did you do to the crazy fucker?”
“Shut the fuck up and take care of Elsa for these couple of days.” There’s a tinge of annoyance in Aiden’s deep voice. He sounds a bit murderous, too.
I only heard him on the phone, but that’s enough to send a shiver down my spine. I can’t imagine what it’s like to meet him in real life.
My gaze flits to Elsa, who seems nonchalant. She’s gorgeous and appears laid back—which can’t be said about her husband. And I find myself wondering how they’re even together.
Knox’s grip tightens on the phone and that brings my attention back to him. “Or you can come here yourself and pick her up or something? Send your plane over.”
“Not until the forty-eight hours are over.”
“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head? Because there’s no way in fuck you’d let her be away from you for this long.”
Aiden pauses before he says, “I was promised things.”
Elsa smiles, then whispers, “Plural.”
Aiden, who seemingly didn’t know he was on speakerphone, releases a breath, then lowers his voice until it takes an edge. “Fucking plural, sweetheart.”
“I can’t believe you let her manipulate you, King,” Knox taunts. “You’ve lost your touch.”
“Fuck you. If she comes back with one hair on her head hurt, consider yourself dead, Van Doren.”
And with that, he hangs up.
Knox curses, then narrows his eyes on Elsa. “What did you promise that crazy fuck so that he’d let you out of his sight.”
“It’s our secret.” She winks.
“Eww. Disgusting. But this isn’t over.” He directs his phone at them as if it’s a weapon, then dials another number. This time, I see the name “Ronan” on his screen.
As soon as he answers, Knox says, “Come pick up your wife, Ron. She’s an unwanted guest in my flat.”
“On my way,” he says with cheerfulness.
“Don’t you dare, Ronan,” Teal says.
“But he said you’re an unwanted guest, ma belle. I have to come there and beat him the fuck up for calling you that.”
“You promised,” she enunciates.
“Fine, whatever.” He sounds dejected. “Remi and I miss you.”
“Miss you, Mummy.” A tiny voice comes through the phone.
“Miss you, too, hon.” She smiles for the first time since she got here. “Mummy is going to stay with Uncle Knox for a few days, then I’ll come back, okay?”
“Okay! Me and Daddy will wait.”
“That’s a good boy.”
“Ron.” Knox grits his teeth, his words sounding clipped. “Say or do something.”
“My hands are tied, Van Doren. I lost a fucking bet, so I don’t have a say in this.”
“Why do I have to suffer the downfall?”
“Don’t call my Teal and Ellie downfall or I’ll fuck up your face, mkay?”
By the end of the call, Knox is breathing heavily, Teal and Elsa are smiling, and Ethan is obviously amused.
I’m about to dig my own grave for feeling so out of place.
They’re a family, and I’m just an outsider. Someone who shouldn’t even exist in the midst of what seems to be their usual form of interaction.
But when I try to think of an excuse to disappear from their immediate vicinity, Elsa grabs me by the shoulder. “Teal and I need to talk to Jane. Dad, can you and Knox cook us something?”
“Why the hell would I cook?” Knox narrows his eyes on where Elsa is holding me. “And what are you going to talk to her about?”
“You don’t need to know.” She pulls me with her to the bedroom and Teal closes the door, despite protests from the other side.
When Elsa sits me on the bed, my skin tingles and I clasp my hands together so tightly, it hurts. But not as much as the unknown or the situation I’m in.
I was never a people person, ever. Being sheltered my whole life and witnessing countless assassination attempts on my father and the leaders of the Bratva made me careful about each step I took. Each breath I inhaled and every word I uttered.
It’s not merely a personality trait, it’s how I learned to survive. It’s how the Pakhan’s daughter is supposed to be. Silent, demure, and follows orders.
A beautiful bird in a gilded cage.
Even though I thought I escaped it, maybe I was only upgraded to a bigger one where I supposedly have freedom, but it could be snatched away at any second.
However, this situation, being in the company of two women I’ve never met, who also happen to be Knox’s sisters, isn’t something I thought I would find myself experiencing.
I grew up surrounded by men, lots of them, and they were harsh and unyielding. The only prominent female presence I had with me was my cousin, Rai, who’s as hard as they are.
So I really, really, have no clue how to act, aside from letting a panic attack take hold of me and make a fool out of myself.
And that’s just absurd. They’re not scary…I don’t think. Because while Elsa is sitting beside me wearing a soft smile and still watching me with a gleam of curiosity, Teal is standing right across from me, slowly tapping her foot on the floor.
“Why are you with my brother? Do you like him?” she asks out of the blue, no introductions whatsoever.
“I…I’m…” How the hell am I supposed to answer that question when my brain hasn’t even accepted their presence?
Elsa touches my shoulder as if to bring my attention to her. “What she meant to say is, we haven’t seen Knox with the same girl for more than a couple of days since…well, ever. So imagine our surprise when she overheard Daniel’s phone call with Ronan, in which he said that Knox wouldn’t even let him touch you.”
“You know Daniel?” I ask, almost whispering.
“Of course. We’ve belonged to the same group of friends since secondary school. Which is more important now since we can bribe him for information about Knox. That brother of ours tends to be a tad bit too secretive and we always worry about him.”
“You don’t have to. He’s doing really well for someone his age.”
“Work-wise, you mean,” Teal says.
“Uh…yeah.”
“Come on, Teal. It’s not only related to work. He has Jane, too, now, right?”
“I don’t think…that’s the case…” I try to argue. How do I explain that our arrangement is purely sexual when I don’t want to believe that anymore?
“She’s hiding something,” Teal cuts me off in her no-nonsense tone. I think she normally sounds like Knox when he doesn’t bother to wear a mask. “I don’t like it.”
“We all hide secrets, Teal,” Elsa says in a smooth voice.
“Not like her.” Her dark eyes fixate on me. “You’re dangerous.”
I gulp. Did she figure all that out by just looking at me?
“Stop being paranoid. Besides, weren’t you the one who was wishing Knox would settle down so you wouldn’t have to worry about him all the time?”
Teal clears her throat. “I didn’t say that.”
“Not those exact words, but you definitely did.” Elsa smiles at me. “I like Jane.”
You shouldn’t, I want to say.
You really, really, really shouldn’t.
Because Teal is right. I am dangerous. So freaking dangerous, I might end up hurting Knox myself.
And when I do, I’m going to hurt these women, too.
The sisters who worry about their brother, who want to see him do well, who come on an impromptu visit because they suspect something is wrong.
I don’t deserve Elsa’s trust.
I don’t even deserve Knox’s care.
Because I know, I just know that I’ll shatter both to pieces.
I’ll hurt them.
That’s what happens to p
eople in my vicinity. They get hurt. Badly.
Most of the time, they die.
Like my mom.
29
KNOX
“I’m not doing this.”
I throw away the vegetables I’m supposed to be preparing, but Dad catches them before they reach the sink, then pushes them against my chest. “Keep cutting if you want to eat tonight.”
“We can just order something.” I’m in in no mood to cook, because not only was I ambushed by my family out of nowhere, but Elsa and Teal have been with Anastasia for exactly twenty-three minutes and fifty-four seconds, talking about fuck knows what.
Maybe my twin sister is bringing up the psycho side of both of us and telling her what an absolute arse I am.
Maybe they’re hurting her.
A strong hand clutches me by the shoulder, swinging my attention to the present. “Relax, it’s going fine.”
He’s smiling and has the audacity to be all relaxed. Though this is in fact his usual mood.
Ethan Steel might own a large corporation, but he doesn’t show his business beast side in front of us.
I don’t remember the last time I saw him mad, and when he is, it’s usually because of his children—us.
“You don’t have the right to say that when you brought them here without telling me. This is a low blow and I’m officially not giving you a present on Dad’s day.”
“First of all, I can’t take sides with you. That’s a sure way to start a war. Second of all, if I don’t get my present, I’ll just bring them both back here again.”
I narrow my eyes and he narrows his back. “Now, chop-chop. No takeaways.”
Sighing, I grab the potato and start chopping. I can’t help glaring at him now and again. Despite being in his mid-fifties, Dad looks way younger than that. His hair is still a dark blond with barely any white strands and his eyes are a deep blue, which is the only thing he passed down to Elsa—his biological daughter.
The look in his gaze is wise and collected, as if he’s seen the whole world and nothing could perturb him anymore.
He comes from money—old, powerful, and influential. However, he didn’t only use what he inherited to get where he is today. He invested it and started countless business ventures that made him tenfold richer and more untouchable than his father ever was.