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by Jessica Carbine


  “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what I was thinking!” He said fearfully, probably afraid he’d lose his job. Cassie felt bad for him.

  “It’s fine,” she said, acutely aware of Kyler’s arms around her. He carried her easily to a chair along the regular wall. She looked at his face, stiffening when she saw that he was furious.

  “If you can’t handle the simple job of hanging onto a rope, maybe you should be cleaning the shoes,” he said in a tightly controlled voice. The man didn’t respond, but looked even more concerned and left for a back room.

  “It was an accident, it could have happened to anybody. And I’m fine, so it really is okay,” Cassie said quietly in the man’s defense.

  “I strongly disagree,” he said in that same tight voice, betraying no emotion. The fear and concern she’d heard earlier were gone. “You could have been seriously hurt if, if the rope hadn’t stuck. His only job is to keep people safe, and he obviously cannot be trusted to do that.”

  She looked at him. His face was oddly blank. She had noticed his hesitation and wondered if he saw the rope like she did. However, she kept with a safe, sane question, “Is that what happened? It looked different.”

  His blank look dissolved into one of puzzlement. It was odd, how cleanly his face changed. It reminded her of a canvas.

  “What else could have happened?”

  “I don’t know,” she said uncertainly, feeling stupid. “I guess I was just in shock.”

  His expression relaxed. No longer controlling his muscles with the same force, the puzzled look was replaced by concern, with a tinge of relief? She couldn’t be sure.

  “Are you going to be okay?” His tone was softer, more sincere as he knelt next to her.

  “Yeah. I think so.” She chuckled a little, “I just hallucinated a little bit, that’s all.”

  He flinched at the word.

  “But I’m fine, really!” She hastened to reassure him.

  “That’s good to hear!” A man with a manager’s badge and the name Ted plastered on his chest answered. He’d come out of the office her belayer had entered. “I sincerely apologize for this trouble. The employee who caused this will, of course, be fired.” He emphasized the employee’s guilt.

  “I wish you wouldn’t,” she said before Kyler could respond. “It was just an accident. I’m sure it could happen to anyone. I really don’t want to cause him any trouble.”

  Cassie glanced at Kyler and saw his eyes burning with anger. He clearly wanted to say something. So she continued. “We were just about to leave, but before we do I wanted to let you know that your pulley is damaged. It’s what stopped me from smashing into the ground, but it probably will just annoy other climbers.”

  After the manager had forced free passes on her—like she would ever return—he finally left them alone to remove their shoes and harnesses.

  “I’m sorry, Cassie. You were right, we shouldn’t have come here,” Kyler said remorsefully. “But nothing like this has ever happened to me before.”

  Me neither, she thought. “It’s not your fault. It’s really mine. I started going so fast the belayer probably thought he didn’t need to worry about me. And then I got too tired.”

  “Probably not the best date you’ve had.”

  “I don’t know,” she disagreed playfully. “I’ve never had a more exciting date!”

  He shook his head darkly, not ready to be amused. “Or a more dangerous one.”

  She smiled without any humor and said, thinking of Craig, “Maybe, maybe not.”

  He raised his eyebrows but otherwise didn’t comment.

  “Have you caught your breath? We can leave when you’re ready.”

  Cassie stood up slowly, but she felt fine. “Let’s go,” she agreed. As they walked to the car, she mulled over the circumstances, feeling foolish. She hated failing at anything, and this was a definite fail.

  “I’m sorry, Cassie” Kyler said, his eyes on the road as he gently took her hand in one of his. “We should have started slowly, with a short wall. You’ll have to be more careful next time.”

  “Next time?” She looked at him like he was crazy, and tried to ignore the heat running from her hand to her heart.

  “Maybe not for a while. But we have to cure you of this fear.” He kissed the back of her hand, and her heart beat sped up.

  In response Cassie smiled, trying to erase the fear from her face, but he saw it in her eyes.

  “Don’t worry. We’ll wait a while.” He pulled into a restaurant. “In the meantime, let’s get dinner.”

  Kyler didn’t ask her any personal questions that night. In fact, he hadn’t asked her any personal questions for a while. Sometimes it seemed like he wanted to, but he’d always change the subject. Cassie wondered if he was afraid to ask. Over the next week she was constantly with him. They studied together in the library. They ate dinners together, and they talked, endlessly talked.

  It was through these conversations that Cassie began to understand Kyler. His reactions were still bizarre sometimes, and he offered no explanation for it. To Cassie he seemed troubled. He was constantly worried about something, which he also didn’t explain. Despite the mystery, Cassie was happy. She was constantly cheerful, with a watchful Jenna waiting for her to snap out of her joy and sink into depression. To help allay her fears, Cassie made an effort to hang out with Kyler and Jenna together.

  “It’s about time to go,” Cass pointed out.

  Kyler checked his watch. “You’re right. Let me just run this book back.”

  Cassie hurriedly packed up her bag. She and Kyler went out of the study room to the bookshelves, then to the front doors. It was early afternoon.

  “Wow, it’s beautiful out here!” Cassie loved May. It was the end of her last difficult semester. She was finishing up her general requirements in the summer term, but this semester she had the last of her major classes.

  The sun was shining brightly, but the weather was mild. Everything seemed the brightest color it could be: the green trees and grass, blue sky and puffy white clouds.

  “I think I spend the rest of the year dreaming about this kind of weather,” Cassie said happily. Swinging linked hands, they walked quickly toward the cafeteria.

  “I know what you mean. Winter is only fun for so long,” he agreed.

  “Exactly. Spring never gets old.”

  “Nor lasts long enough.”

  “I wish we could stay outside all day,” Cassie said longingly.

  “Tomorrow’s a Saturday, let’s go for a drive, and find a place to stay outside,” Kyler offered.

  “Perfect!”

  They purchased lunch and then went to find Jenna. Sitting at a corner table near a window, she waved them over.

  “Hi guys!” She looked nervous.

  “Hey Jenn. How are ya?”

  “Good. Um, Cass, can I talk to you for a second?”

  Before Cassie could respond, Kyler stood up. “Sure. We forgot water; I’ll go get some.”

  “What’s up?”

  Jenna waited until Kyler was out of earshot before responding. “I’ve been hanging around Zach a lot lately.”

  “Oh. How’s he doing?” Cassie felt guilty. They’d promised to leave everything the same, but she’d only talked to him twice since the play.

  “Not great. He feels like he’s ruined your friendship. He says you never answer his calls.”

  “That’s not fair! I’m just busy. I’ve called him back twice!” Cassie couldn’t shake off the guilt.

  “But you haven’t initiated any calls or activities. This wouldn’t surprise him except you and I keep hanging out. He feels like you’re avoiding him.”

  “But I’m not!” She protested. “I’ve just been spending all my time with Kyler. The only times I see you are at night or with Kyler!”

  “I know. I hope you don’t mind, but I told him you’re dating someone,” Jenna said abashed.

  “You did,” Cassie answered without inflection. “And?”
r />   “He doesn’t seem to think it’s important.” She shrugged. “He knows you. I tried to explain that this was different, but he’s pretty skeptical. So… I invited him to lunch.”

  “You did?” Cassie said again, “You really think that’s a good idea?”

  “I think it’s for the best. Maybe after he sees you with Kyler he can... move on.”

  “Ahh,” Cassie said, smiling. “Okay. That’s a good idea, I guess.”

  “I’m glad you think so.” Jenna smiled back in relief. “He probably won’t be here for another few minutes. I told him we were meeting at 1:45 instead of 1:30.”

  “Thanks for the warning. Now if he’s angry at me I’ll understand why. But have you two hung out at all?”

  Jenna blushed a little. “We’ve been on a few dates. I mean, I guess they’re not real dates. But sort of. He’s called me to do stuff seven times in the past two weeks.”

  “Not that you’re counting,” Cassie laughed. “That’s great, Jenna. I’m happy for you.”

  Kyler was walking quite slowly back, so Cassie looked up at him and smiled. He arrived at a normal pace. “We good?” He asked worried.

  “Yeah, fine! Zach’s just joining us for lunch.”

  “Nice. I’ve wanted to meet him.” Kyler sat down and they started eating.

  Just a couple of minutes later Zach appeared. Cassie made quick introductions.

  “Hi, Zach! Nice to meet you,” Kyler smiled at him warmly.

  Zach’s responding smile was slightly forced, “You too.”

  “Where you from, Kyler?” Jenna asked cheerfully.

  “New Mexico, mostly.”

  “What are you doing here?” Zach asked rudely.

  “Wow! What brings you all the way out east?” Jenna said, elbowing Zach.

  “What else? School,” he said easily.

  “What are you studying?”

  “Heh,” He chuckled briefly. “I really don’t know yet. I’m just taking care of some generals right now.”

  “So you probably won’t be done for a long time.” Zach looked significantly at Cassie.

  “No, probably not.”

  “You know, Cassie’s almost done,” Zach said. Jenna shook her head at him, but he continued anyway. “She’s been here just as long as Jenna and me, but she’ll be done after the summer. And she’s double-majoring.”

  Cassie rolled her eyes. “They forget to mention that while they have taken off during summer, I always take classes straight through. That’s the only reason I’m finishing early.”

  “That and you’re amazingly smart!” Zach smiled at her, but it looked cold. Cassie glared back at him angrily. She knew what he was doing. He was trying to intimidate Kyler and scare him off.

  “I know,” Kyler said. “Can’t compete with that!”

  “No, you can’t.”

  “So why try? I’ll probably be finishing up my Bachelor’s while she’s getting her third PhD!” He laughed again, still oozing friendliness.

  Cassie, grateful and relieved, squeezed his hand under the table. “Not likely.”

  Jenna jumped in before Zach could say anything else. “What do you think you’re interested in? Engineering, social sciences, the arts?”

  “I’m not sure. I’m kind of leaning toward psychology. Maybe human development or biology. I’m taking a class in each to feel things out.”

  “Why that direction?” Jenna hurriedly asked, seeing Zach’s mouth open.

  “My father was a scientist. A human biologist/psychologist of sorts.”

  They stopped grilling him for a while and they ate in a temporary state of peace. Cassie left to refill their drinks, hoping the peace would last.

  “Where’d you guys meet Cassie?” Kyler asked them.

  “Freshman year, we had a class together,” Zach said shortly.

  “That was before her dad died, did you ever meet him?”

  Zach scowled. Kyler knew more about her than he’d expected. “Yes. Once.”

  “And what did he do?”

  “Why don’t you ask her?”

  “She just doesn’t like to talk about him.” Kyler shrugged.

  “He worked in law enforcement,” Jenna supplied, nudging Zach’s elbow with her own under the table. “We met back in high school. Right after—”

  “Yes? Right after what?” Kyler’s face was very controlled, but his eyes burned with curiosity.

  Zach gave her a look-what-you’ve-done look, and answered, “Right after they moved into the area.”

  Cassie returned and, seeing their tense faces, wished she hadn’t left. “So, everyone doing okay?”

  “Sorry Cass,” Zach said. “I’d love to stay and chat more, but Jenna and I have somewhere to be at 2:30.”

  “Really? So soon?” Kyler asked.

  “Alright, we’ll see you later,” Cassie said at almost the same time.

  “Good luck,” Zach said to Kyler with a smirk.

  “Thanks man. We’ll see you around.”

  “Yeah, maybe,” Zach said, and laughing slightly, he and Jenna left. Cassie had the distinct impression that Zach didn’t think he’d see Kyler again.

  “Well that was interesting. Sorry about Zach,” Cassie said taking his hand.

  “I understand his perspective,” Kyler said, kissing the back of her hand.

  “Still, I expected you to be more uncomfortable. You didn’t like it when I asked about your past,” Cassie said.

  “Yes, well, I wasn’t sure what you—” He stopped abruptly. “That is, I wasn’t sure where we stood. I mean, I just wanted to make a good impression,” he ended, smoothly.

  Over the next two weeks, Cassie saw less and less of Jenna and Zach. Her life was divided into two categories: class and Kyler. And class was becoming distinctly less appealing.

  “Let’s go for a drive. We need to get outside before it gets too hot again,” Kyler said suddenly. He was sitting on her bed leaning against the wall, textbook in his lap. She was lying down on her stomach with her head close to him, her textbook under her. They had class in an hour, but Cassie never skipped, and one day wouldn’t kill her grades.

  “Good idea!” Cassie turned around and sat up. “We can come back and have dinner in the caf’ when we’re done.”

  “We’ll see.” He smiled. “I wonder,” he mused as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Do you suppose you are in the mood for spilling secrets?”

  “You spilling or me?” She asked curiously.

  “You, of course,” he said grinning at her.

  “Hmm. Maybe if you started, I would be more willing,” she suggested.

  “What do you want to know about me?” He asked, wary.

  “I don’t know; do you have any interesting secrets?”

  “Yes, lots,” he answered with an irrepressible grin.

  “Well?” She looked at him expectantly, with excitement. Glancing at her expression he laughed.

  “I can’t just tell you! What kind of secret is that?” He asked with mock horror.

  “Alright. If I asked specific questions would you answer?”

  “I suppose that’s fair,” he paused and then added a qualifier, “But I may not answer them all.”

  “Fair enough.” She thought for a moment. “Where were you last in Europe?”

  “Germany,” he answered promptly. “A place called Stuttgart.”

  “Do you speak German?”

  “Yes.”

  “How about any other languages?” She asked.

  “Some French and Russian,” he answered.

  “Wow. Where’d you learn them?”

  “You know I’ve spent the past few years traveling. I was just living with the locals, so I picked up some vocab.”

  “So you were in Germany for school?” She asked for clarification. She was surprised by his expression. He looked... torn. “Oh come on, this isn’t even a hard one. You already told me you transferred here from Europe.”

  “Yes, but that wasn’t entirely true. I wasn’t
in school there. I was just,” he paused, and then forced the word out, “hiding.”

  “Hiding? Hiding from what?” She asked apprehensively.

  “That’s a long story,” he said, trying to dismiss it.

  “I’m up for a long drive…”

  Kyler sighed long and low. “My parents died when my sister and I were kids. We had no other relatives.” He paused, and she sensed he was editing. “I guess you could say that we were given something after their death. Something that someone wants, so ever since then my sister and I have been moving around, trying to keep it from them. We’ve been hiding.”

  “That wasn’t that long…” She urged, but he didn’t continue.

  She waited for a few minutes, when he didn’t add anything further she spoke, “I don’t really understand your reluctance, you know.”

  “I do know. And I’m sorry. Just give me more time.”

  Cassie smiled. As long as he didn’t intend to keep his secrets forever, she could be satisfied. “Where is your sister, then?”

  “It’s easier for us to avoid being found if we stay apart.” His expression was sad. “She’s leading them around Europe to give me time here in the U.S.”

  Cassie thought about this for a moment, and then asked, “What’s so important in the U.S.?”

  His answer came so quietly, she wasn’t even sure she heard it. “Something I lost.” They sat in silence for a while, Cassie wondering what the past few years had been like for this man, and what his parents had left him that was so desirable.

  “I don’t think I’d keep it,” Cassie said suddenly. “What could be worth the cost of always being on the run? Couldn’t you just sell it? Or tell the police?”

  Kyler smiled widely at her and shook his head, but made no reply.

  “Do you plan to explain this someday?” She asked him, nonchalantly, as though she wasn’t also asking if they would be together long-term.

  He smiled like he wasn’t fooled and answered. “Yes. I think so.”

  Looking carefully at his face, she thought she saw a different look in his eyes. She realized that they typically looked sad. She never would have realized this if she didn’t see the joy behind them now.

 

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