“We will have to see,” she finally said.
We continued on and came by a small park. A photographer was set up taking portraits. I convinced Celeste to have him take our picture. I was able to stand and lean against the gate to the park and Celeste stood beside me.
In broken English the photographer said, “You are a beautiful couple, no?”
“Yes,” I said, and Celeste laughed.
We were gone almost the entire day. I returned exhausted and with pain throbbing in my leg. When she left me at the hospital that night to leave to catch her train home I almost couldn’t bring myself to let her go. I knew the hours before she returned for her next shift would be endless.
I wrote my sister Maggie that night about it. In previous letters I had mentioned Celeste, but in this letter I shared how my feelings for the woman who was helping me recover were growing more strongly every day. At the end I wrote, Sister, Celeste is so special. I hope you will be able to meet her one day.
There had been some discussion among the doctors about my ability to tolerate the cruise back home across the Atlantic. I had experienced some setbacks with my leg healing, infections and other issues. My time with Celeste had also begun to create some doubt in my mind on whether I really wanted to leave Europe.
I was reading a book one morning when she came in. As always, I was delighted to see her, but I sensed a much different mood. She went about her business in the ward with only a quick nod before she moved away. Later, I stopped her as she passed and asked her what was wrong.
“It’s nothing, Mathew,” she said.
“Please tell me,” I asked.
She looked around the room at the other men. Most were still sleeping. Some were unconscious and would likely never recover. It was a terribly sad place at times and I was always surprised at Celeste’s bright attitude each day in the face of such misery, until that morning.
“My mother is quite unhappy with me,” she finally said. “One of our villagers who works at the hospital told her we have been spending time together.”
I just looked at her for a moment. I had not seen such sadness in her eyes since she first told me about her father and the young French soldier. “Can you tell me about Jules?” I asked.
She didn’t seem surprised by the question and sat down on my bed, looking out through a window to the courtyard below. “We have been friends since we were small children,” she began. “As we grew older it was just assumed we would be together. We were only eighteen when he left for the War. He asked me to marry him, but I said we should wait, that I would be here when he returned.”
“And you’re still waiting?”
“Yes, of course,” she said. “But he’s been gone so long and there has been no word. Men from his unit have told us he was missing after the very first battle with the Germans. His body was never found so they think he was taken prisoner.”
“How long has this been?” I asked.
“Over three years.” She looked down and tried to straighten the white apron on her lap. I reached for her hand, but she pulled away. “My mother is right, Mathew,” she said.
“Right about what?” I asked.
“Mathew, I so enjoy the time we spend together, I mean beyond here at the hospital,” she said. “But my family and the people of my village, they all know about Jules and me.”
Later that afternoon, I finally convinced Celeste to take some time to come and read to me as she often did. I listened to her words in the beautiful language of the French. I was caught up in the comforting sound of the words and the closeness of her sitting on my bedside. I watched the lines of her face as she concentrated on the story. I tried not to think about the lost French soldier and what might happen if he were ever to return.
When I was well enough I invited Celeste to join me for dinner at a nearby restaurant a doctor had recommended. I had to ask her several times, but finally and reluctantly, she agreed. She wheeled me there that night and we sat in the quiet little place, a few candles on the tables providing most of the light. She picked a red wine that was made near her village. I can remember the shine of the candlelight on the glass and in the deep red of the wine. I told her more about my life that night than anyone I had ever been with. She was quite curious about my family back in Georgia.
“And your father sells whiskey?” she said.
“His company is a distributor for beer and spirits, even wine from your country,” I said.
“And do you work in this business?”
“I suppose it will be there when I get back,” I said.
“You don’t sound very excited about the prospect.”
“I plan to go to school first,” I answered. “I want to study writing.”
“You are a writer?” she said and then took another sip from her wine.
“Maybe someday.”
When we returned to the entrance of the hospital she kissed me for the first time, slowly on the lips. She pulled away and looked at me for a moment with a confused expression. As she turned to leave I grabbed her hand and pulled her close again for another kiss. I had kissed a few girls in my life, but this was different. The feeling and the taste of it were soft and wet and staggering. Then she smiled and squeezed my hand. I watched her walk away into the night, the lights of Paris around her.
After so much time in the broken earth of the French countryside and villages where everything around us was brown and burned, and the air lay heavy and rank, I felt I would never see a green tree again or be able to take a breath of fresh air. Then there were those mornings sitting in the gardens of the American Hospital in Paris with life blooming green and glorious all around us. It was easy to forget, at least for a short while with Celeste sitting there with me, that the War had not been far away.
A wounded man was brought in to the bed next to me one morning. I was told he was an American soldier transferred from a distant field hospital for more surgery. He was gravely wounded months ago and had never regained consciousness. That evening a doctor called Celeste over to sit with the man and hold his hand while he changed the heavy bandages around his head. When the doctor left I heard her speaking softly to the soldier, still holding his hand. The doctor came by again later and checked on the man. He asked Celeste to stand back and he pulled the sheet up over the soldier’s head. Then he left to find an orderly to have the body taken away. Celeste stood there for some time just staring at the lifeless form of the fallen soldier.
Eventually I was moved to the Army camp infirmary outside Paris. The day I left the hospital I spent the morning with Celeste out in the gardens. She wrapped her arm in mine and we talked of the future as best we could.
“When will I see you?” I asked.
“There will be time, I hope, before you are sent back to America.”
I could sense the hesitation in her voice as memories of her lost soldier seemed never far from her thoughts. There were no promises, only shared assurances we would see each other again. As I left that day, just before I was placed on the gurney to be loaded onto the military ambulance, she hugged me tightly and whispered on in French with only a few words I could actually understand.
“I have to see you again,” I said.
She nodded and smiled, then leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I would like to see you, too, Private Mathew Coulter.”
She stood back as the orderlies lifted me into the ambulance. I saw her smile again just before the doors closed as we drove off.
Several days after arriving at the Army infirmary I had a friend who secured a vehicle. “Coulter, ‘bout time we got you out of here,” he said one morning. “Let’s see if we can find that French nurse of yours.”
He was able to load me in the passenger side and then drove us off the camp. When we reached the small village of Les Mureaux we asked directions and soon came upon the old brick house where Celeste’s family lived near the outskirts of the town. It was a small house with a stable that b
acked up to a stand of trees. An older woman came out, drying her hands on a towel. I could see Celeste’s features in her face and was certain it was her mother. My friend’s French was far better than mine and he asked of Celeste. Her mother shook her head and spoke quickly. My friend turned to me and translated. “She left a message in case Private Coulter came by,” he said. “She is away visiting the family of her boyfriend.”
I nodded at the woman and said, “Thank you.” To my friend, I asked that he tell her it was nice to meet her, and to tell Celeste we were sorry we missed her.
As we drove away I was concerned to see her mother had a much too satisfied look across her face. I had to wonder if Celeste was indeed away visiting the soldier named Jules’ family. I also thought it strange Celeste’s father had not spent time teaching his wife to speak English, as he had with his daughters.
The next day I was napping in the infirmary, still not released to make arrangements to return home. An orderly came in and shook me awake.
“Private Coulter, you have a visitor,” he said. “And a damned fine looking one.”
Moments later Celeste walked into the tent. I had never seen her without her nurse’s uniform. She wore a simple blue dress over a white blouse. Her long auburn hair was down and pulled back behind her ears. She came up to my bed and sat beside me. She looked glorious and there was a smell of fresh country flowers about her. She took my hand and then leaned in close and kissed me.
“Comment allez-vous, Mathew?” she asked.
“I’m much better now.”
“I’m sorry I missed you yesterday. Can we go for a walk?” she asked.
I grabbed my crutches and we walked slowly out into the heat of the day on the dusty road of the Army base. We found a bench to sit on away from the rushing chaos of the camp. I wanted to put my arm around her and hold her close but felt wrong about doing so.
“My mother told you I was with Jules’ family?” she asked.
“Yes, she did.”
“I have become very close to his mother since he’s been away,” she said.
“I can understand,” I replied, meaning it. “I’m still not sure when they’re going to send me home.”
She didn’t answer and just looked down at her hands in her lap.
“Celeste…,” I started.
“I’d like you to come to my home for dinner,” she said, looking up at me. “I would like you to meet the rest of my family.”
The next Sunday I arrived at Celeste’s home. Her mother was not pleased with my place at her table that day, but the two younger sisters giggled and gossiped and seemed to enjoy the visit immensely.
“Mam, thank you for having me here today,” I said as we all sat down. She just nodded, seeming to understand. Celeste’s youngest sister, Ann Marie, passed a plate of food to me. Celeste poured the wine.
Ann Marie said, “Thank you for fighting in our war, Private Coulter. Thank you for fighting the Germans.”
“Of course,” I answered, a bit surprised.
“Our father fought the Germans and he died a hero,” she said.
“Yes, I know,” I said. “He must have been very brave.”
Celeste’s mother spoke quickly to Ann Marie in French, and gestured for her to continue passing the plates of food.
The middle sister, Angela, asked, “Will you return to America soon?”
“Yes, I believe so,” I said. “I’m waiting for my orders to come through.”
“Celeste will be very sad,” she said.
“Angela!” Celeste scolded.
Again her mother went on in French, apparently admonishing the girls to get on with their dinner. Angela just smiled at me across the table.
Later, Celeste and I sat out in the back courtyard of their house. Chickens and a pig lingered nearby going about their business.
“My family has lived here for many generations,” she told me.
“It’s a beautiful village,” I said.
“It is so different now,” she answered. “So many are gone because of the War.”
I just stared at her face as she looked away into the woods behind the house. When she glanced back she stared at me for a moment. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“It’s all right.”
We attended church later that day with her mother and sisters. We sat together along the hard wooden pew, listening to a young boy’s choir, the lyrics and the notes from the organ echoing through the high lofted arches. Celeste reached over and placed her hand on mine, out of sight from her mother. Others in the church looked severely at Celeste for bringing an American when they all knew of her boyfriend away and still missing from the War. It was a terrible risk for her and I felt badly about putting her in that situation. She had insisted I come and as we walked out of the church and back to her house, she held her head high in defiance at the whispered comments and disparaging glances.
Later, she and I took a walk together as best I could with my crutches and a leg that hung heavy and stiff. As the sun was going down we walked along a path by the river just outside the village. We sat together on a grassy bluff above the water and watched the sun set through the trees. A few fish rose out in the flow of the stream. I leaned over to try to kiss her. She hesitated at first, but then moved into my arms. Our passion was clumsy and tentative, but we kissed and held each other close.
Then she backed away and looked down at the river, her hand wiping across her mouth as if she wanted to take the kiss away. “Mathew, I’m so sorry about all of this,” she said.
“Sorry?”
“I should never have let any of this…”
“Please don’t say that,” I interrupted.
“I can’t sleep at night thinking about this, thinking about Jules out there somewhere, whether he’s dead or alive… thinking about you,” she said, looking back at me like I should have the answer.
Later that night I was saying goodnight to her at the door of her house. She kissed me on both cheeks as the French do. Her mother opened the door and pulled her inside. I stood looking at the weathered paint and hardware of the door before turning to find my friend down in the village for a ride home.
I had been moved back into a barracks with a new unit at the base, only to stay on until arrangements could be made for my return home to the States. I met Celeste for lunch in Paris about a week after we had been together by the stream near her village. It was clear she had been crying. She took my hand and then leaned in close and kissed me across the small table at the cafe.
“Mathew, I spoke with my mother this morning before catching the train to come to the city,” she said.
I sat listening but was captured by the splendid look of her face.
“I told her that I couldn’t wait any longer,” she said.
“Wait?” I asked.
“I can’t wait for… for Jules,” she said.
I leaned across and kissed her cheek.
She came around the table and sat down on my lap and hugged me. She was laughing and crying at the same time. “What shall we ever do now?” she finally asked.
“I think I should speak with your mother,” I said.
I made arrangements to get leave to go to Les Mureaux the next night. A friend secured a truck and drove me through the countryside toward the little village. My heart was pounding with the excitement of seeing Celeste and telling her mother I loved her daughter and wanted to marry her. I had dropped a letter in the mail earlier that day to my family back home, telling them I might soon be bringing home a special guest.
I was let off at Celeste’s house and made my way up the walk as quickly as I could on the crutches and a leg that was still stiff and heavily bandaged. When I managed to get up the three steps to the porch, I pounded the old tarnished knocker on the door. There was a long pause, and no one answered. I couldn’t hear anyone inside, so I knocked again. This time I heard the scuffling of feet coming to the door. The latch was slid b
ack and the door opened slowly.
Celeste’s mother peaked around the edge of the door. Her face was flushed and drawn, her eyes red from tears. She said something slowly in French I didn’t understand.
I shook my head and said, “Where is Celeste?”
Again, she went on with a long answer in French and I had no idea what she was saying. I held up my hand to stop her. “Tell me where Celeste is,” I insisted. “What’s happened?”
One of Celeste’s younger sisters, Ann Marie, came up behind her mother. She said something in French to her mother, and then came out on the porch. She took my hand and started to pull me away from the door. I looked back at Celeste’s mother and she nodded her head in agreement. I thought they were trying to get me away from the house. When I looked back again the woman had her head down as she slowly closed the door.
Ann Marie led me out of the gate and down the road. I asked her where we were going.
“Please come, Private Coulter,” she said.
“Where are we going?”
She didn’t answer and kept pulling me along, clearly impatient with my slow pace. We walked deeper into the village and then turned down a narrow street with small row houses down each side. It was near dark and lights were coming on. We stopped at one of the houses and Ann Marie helped me up the steps. She knocked on the door and a boy about her age answered. When he saw me and looked at the uniform his face grew very stern. He tried to close the door. Ann Marie pushed past and held him away to allow me to come in.
I walked into the dark little house, heavy smells of food and dampness in the air. I called out, “Celeste!” I heard her voice in the back down a long hall and started in that direction. She came out of a room on the left. Her face was drawn and tired and when she saw me there was a look of panic.
“Oh, Mathew,” she said quietly. She stood at the open door and held up her hands for me to stop. Then she looked back in the room when a man yelled out in French. When she turned back to me we stood staring at each other for a moment and then she came down the hall. “Mathew, you must go.”
Grayton Winds Page 2