still old? I feel too weak to move."
"Try again, Koji."
"Yes. I can move. I don't remember if you had the necessary supplies to make me younger. I don't remember the memory editing."
"No, I didn't have what we needed. There was no need for memory editing. I simply put you in stasis."
"Then I should not be awake. Or alive."
"Neither should I, Koji.
"Now you frighten me. And your Japanese is too good."
"I've had practice. I don't believe you can be frightened, Koji."
"It's dark. I can barely see your heat shape. I thought I lost infrared. Why did you bother to fix it?"
"I didn't. Do you feel ready to live again, Koji?"
"I feel intrigued, Patrick."
Zakiya stood up as the illumination increased. She was encouraged by the calmness of the dialog between Patrick and Koji. She was encouraged by the lowered intensity and frequency of her memories of Koji. She was sadly satisfied that she was so exhausted of emotion that she could treat Koji's revival with objectivity. She lost Sammy. And because he grieved too well, because she couldn't find words to console him, she lost Freddy. She was angry that time was inexorably whittling away at her grief, not allowing her the punishment she deserved.
She approached where Koji lay, watched him begin to rise from the bed, and waited for him to notice her. She could detect the instant he saw her and could not detect a reaction. He sat up on the edge of the bed, legs dangling, then dropped onto the deck. He flexed his legs. He stood slightly taller than Patrick. He faced Patrick, ignoring her.
"Introduce me to her," Koji said to Patrick.
"She isn't one of our holograms, Koji."
Koji pushed Patrick, sending him stumbling backward. Patrick held up a hand as a signal to Zakiya that he wasn't concerned. He had warned her that physical contact - sometimes rough - was needed by Koji and the others to test reality when they awoke from regeneration. Koji looked at Zakiya. He studied the room, which was little more than white walls and ceiling surrounding the bed on which he awoke. He approached her.
Her combat reflex was active, measuring Koji's parameters. She would not need it; a machine intelligence monitored Koji for signs of aggression and would anesthetize him instantly.
Koji was a big man, lean and powerful. He looked down at her as he walked around her. He positioned himself before her at a measured distance. He put forth his hand, apparently for her to take. Zakiya reached for his hand slowly and took it slowly, willing her combat reflex to disarm. Koji held her hand firmly and stared into her eyes without hinting at his own thoughts or feelings. He suddenly pulled on her hand and observed her reaction. He smiled when she easily retained her balance and composure.
"What is this uniform you wear?" Koji asked - in Japanese. "What is your rank?"
"Union Navy. Admiral." Here is Koji, a stranger, who yet evokes wonderful memories from a lost time and place. "My name is Zakiya." She spoke Japanese. It did not seem to surprise him. She moved his hand up and down. She was ready to release his hand, but he was not ready to release hers.
"You know me," Koji said. "I don't know you."
"I once knew a man whose face you wear and whose name you use."
"Do I need to guess who you are? Zakiya is a strange name."
"My full name is Zakiya Muenda Gerakis."
"Three names. Three times nothing. Are you just an admiral? Is that all there is to you?"
"Do you remember Alex?"
He released her hand. He touched her face. He backed away from her to look her up and down. "Sometimes I remember that name. We have many names. We have many faces. Patrick! This is taking too long! Who is she?"
"His wife," Patrick replied.
"His wife," Koji repeated, then his Asian eyes widened. "His?"
Patrick nodded when Koji glanced at him. "Perhaps I should restrain my impulses," he said. "The question of reality is a troubling question. You must be important, His Wife. Admiral. No fear in your eyes for the likes of me. Perhaps tears?"
"I'm sorry, Koji. I thought an old friend was reborn. It may be a stillbirth."
"Emotions will get you killed. Don't weep for me."
"Without emotions we're already dead."
"I agree. I'm dead. If I appear to be alive, it's only momentum. Show me where I am."
The room's walls and ceiling disappeared, as image emitters created the illusion that the floor and those standing on it were winked to the middle of the ship's commons.
"This is the main biosphere of our ship," Zakiya said. "It's the principle residential area and covers about six square kilometers. That's the hospital over there, where we currently stand in real space."
"Impressive, but I don't like illusions. I want to walk. I'm also hungry."
"Let's walk," she invited.
The sterile room returned, enclosing them in white. Zakiya showed Koji to the door. He stopped in the corridor outside the room and surveyed the people who stood waiting for them to pass. He bowed to them and proceeded. Near the main entrance Koji paused briefly as he noticed Nori standing alone in a lounge area, watching him.
"Did you see someone you know?" Zakiya asked as they emerged onto the plaza and into morning sunshine.
"A young woman who was pleasing to the eye. Should I know her?"
"She's your daughter."
"I have no daughter."
"Her name is Nori."
"Do you remember her, Patrick?"
"I was told that is she," Patrick responded. "She hasn't spoken to me, however."
"Who else is on this ship to weaken us?" Koji demanded. "We don't go to war with our children!"
"I have bad news for you on that point, Koji," Patrick said. "There are over ten thousand people on this ship, most of whom were recently civilians, and a few of them are children. And pregnant women."
"This is no warship! Not with trees and lakes! At least it appears real!"
"Real and fast, Koji," Patrick said with enthusiasm. "This is a jumpship!"
"I would appreciate it if you didn't offer so many facts so soon, Patrick," Zakiya said.
"And that's all I know about the ship," Patrick quickly added.
"You command this ship, Zakiya?" Koji asked.
"I command the mission."
"It jumps, like those of the barbarian Fleet?"
"Yes."
"That would seem impossible! What armaments do you have?"
"None. Yet."
Koji walked off at a rapid pace. Zakiya jogged to catch up to him. Patrick turned back.
"You're being monitored, Koji," she warned. "Don't act like a barbarian."
Koji stopped and turned on Zakiya. "I kill barbarians! You are the people I protect!"
They resumed walking.
"Koji, you don't remember your daughter. Do you know why?"
"No."
"Do you want to know why?"
"No."
"Do you want to know your daughter?"
"No."
"Do you know what you want, Koji?"
"The next dead barbarian!"
"Nothing more?"
"Are you trained to practice psychiatry?"
"Are you capable of humor, Koji?"
Zakiya had a long list of suggestions from Mai concerning Koji's mental health. She felt incapable of such analysis. She was barely able to continue the conversation while under attack by her auxiliary memory. It was not as quiet as she hoped it would be. She had known Koji for decades, during and after the Frontier voyages.
"Patrick wasted much time at psychotherapy," Koji said. "I know I'm mentally damaged. Talking won't repair me. If you didn't reprogram or surgically alter my brain, I remain capable of doing what I must do."
"Will you never be happy again, Koji?"
"I'm happy when I kill barbarians."
"You were the rescuer, the retriever."
"The barbarians call me the Executioner. Alex and Setek insert themselves into situations to gather intelligence. If thing
s go wrong, I extract them by any means necessary."
"You had the worst job, Koji."
"I had lost subtlety and patience. I can't see a barbarian and not try to kill him."
"Will this be another insertion for them, Koji?"
"Perhaps. I suppose you will resist their intentions."
"You will rescue them?"
"Yes."
"What do you think they will do when we bring them back to life?"
"All I know is that they have paid too much to become what they are. They will die the final death before they quit!"
Zakiya walked with Koji and thought for a moment. "What would I mean to Alex, Koji?"
"I don't know. I only know we must defeat the barbarians. Perhaps you would be a good thing for Alex. There are too many barbarians. We can never kill them all."
"Can you see any possibility of a different kind of life for Alex and Setek?"
"The barbarians must be defeated."
"What is your opinion of how damaged Alex and Setek are?"
"Damaged? If you insist on calling them Alex and Setek then, yes, they are ruined. If you call them the Questioner and the Torturer then they are slightly damaged. I'm not a reliable source of this information. I've existed too long, seen too much. It runs together in a red blur. A brief moment of clarity. You want to know if there's anything that remains of the men you once knew."
"Is there?"
"There may seem to be. It will be interesting to watch."
Zakiya felt hopelessness settle into her abdomen, like a hunger that might never end. "Are you still hungry, Koji?" she asked.
Koji halted his rapid strides abruptly. "My stomach is empty, but I feel strong." He looked out over the lake and back at the village commons. "This is a very large biosphere. The ship is larger than a carrier! Patrick said it was a jumpship." Koji turned to Zakiya. "You're beautiful. I must have a wife, if I have a daughter."
"She died two centuries ago," Zakiya answered reluctantly. Koji took her reply
Cryptikon Far Freedom Part 2 Page 62