“And when they ask why?”
I shrug, “Tell them you made a mistake and I’m not the right one for the role. Tell them you don’t find me attractive and you can’t act like you do.”
Enzo lets out a harsh laugh. “Yeah, like anyone would believe that I wasn’t attracted to you Kynlee.”
My hands fly up in frustration. “I don’t know what to tell them Enzo! Think of something. Fix this! Please,” I plead with him.
He studies me for a moment. “You know I can have them remove the sex scenes if you aren’t comfortable with that.”
“Oh, my goodness! You don’t listen. I’m not comfortable with any of it. I can’t do sex scenes with you. I can’t do in love with you. I can’t even kiss you Enzo,” I take a deep breath trying to calm myself. “If you don’t replace me then I’m going to lose my agent. He won’t represent me if I turn down the job. I can’t afford to lose my agent but I also can’t do this video. You have to fix this.”
Enzo grabs my shoulders and even behind those shades I can feel him staring. “Okay, I’ll fix it.”
I nod slightly and just as I’m about to say thank you, he brings his mouth down on mine. I try to push him off but the way his hands have clamped around my upper arms I have limited movements. Once he’s had enough he pulls back then releases my arms.
Instantly, I reach up and slap him across his cheek. The sound fills the space between us and I notice his skin turning red already. My hand burns from the assault. He rubs his cheek with his hand. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you do that?”
He shrugs while adjusting his sunglasses. “To prove a point.”
“What point?”
“You said you couldn’t kiss me but that’s not true. You can, you just don’t want to.” He walks toward his car but stops before opening the door. “Is it because of you or because of Ace?” I glare at him but refuse to answer him. It’s none of his damn business. “Damn, I hope he loves you just half as much as you love him.” He opens the door and just before he disappears into the car he says, “Always a pleasure, Kynlee.”
I stand frozen in the same spot with my arms wrapped around myself. Enzo’s words swim around in my head, they leave tiny cuts of vulnerability on my heart and a lump forms in my throat that I can’t swallow around. Tears begin to leak down my face. Being in love with Ace is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I also think it’s one of the best things, but every now and then I wish he could give me more. Tell me the things I need to hear to reassure myself. I don’t know if Ace loves me half as much as I love him. Hell, I don’t know if Ace loves me at all.
Chapter 20
Ace
I had driven around for a while after leaving Bowie at the shop. I had a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know how to explain it. It was almost like I could feel the impending downfall of my life. Not knowing how to fix it was just another issue that left me with more frustration. I had driven around town until close to midnight. Still unready to go home I pulled into JamesTown.
It was slow thanks to it being a week night. A handful of people sit around drinking, eating or smoking. I walk up to the counter and take a seat. Farrah, with her long platinum blonde hair and bright blue eyes greets me. “You okay Ace?”
I shrug “Yeah, just got things on my mind.”
“Well, if you want to talk about it I’m here. It’s almost part of my job description,” she says with an airy laugh. “You want something to eat or drink?” I ordered some chili cheese fries and soda. I scroll through all the pictures in my phone while I’m waiting on the food. Kynlee smiles back at me in almost every one of them. For some reason that makes my heart ache. Finally, Farrah slides the food in front of me, she drops a cherry into my soda with a wink. “Maybe this will sweeten things up a bit.”
I laugh a little. Farrah is not what you expect. When she had first walked in here applying for a job we all took bets on how long she’d last. Farrah was actually Farrah Parrish, Londynn’s older sister. She grew up in one of those gated communities in the super elaborate districts of L.A. She had been born with a trust fund that was probably double the size of what my dad had earned in his entire life. She should have been the definition of elite yet somehow, she had packed up a few things and moved her trust fund to a private account and ended up here. I knew she was going to school online but wasn’t sure what her major was. She had been here for a few years now so none of us won the bet. She definitely made this place better.
Half way through my meal the stool beside mine is pulled away from the counter and a body sits on it. “Well you were the last person I expected to find here.”
The sound of his voice has me instantly tensing up. My hands fist up and I look over at him and level him with a glare. His smirk only causes my anger to grow more. I don’t trust Enzo as far as I can throw him. I don’t like Enzo because it’s clear to me that he wants Kynlee. He is overly confident which makes him cocky and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have anything to back that up with.
During high school it had always been a competition with us. He tried to race and I beat him. He tried to start a band but mine had gained more popularity. He tried to dress and act like me but was never even close to me. It some ways it was weird. I know he’s attracted to Kynlee and I can’t blame him for that. I know another part of his interest in Kynlee has to do with the fact that she had picked me and not him. I don’t blame him for wanting her, I mean who wouldn’t? Kynlee is drop dead gorgeous with a personality to boot but that isn’t the only appeal to him. The fact that he tries to use her because of me and his weird jealous obsession pisses me off.
“Now, why would I be the last person you expected to see here? I mean this place does belong to my family,” I tell him harshly.
Farrah has yet to come over and take a drink order and I know it’s because she doesn’t trust Enzo either. “Well someone should tell your family that the service stinks, what do I got to do to get a drink around here?”
I shrug, “Go to a different bar.”
Enzo’s eyes glare at me, almost as if he’s trying to intimidate me. Only one problem with that, it doesn’t work. “Does your family not like to make money?”
“We do but not from someone like you.”
He nods his head. “Someone like me, what do you mean Ace? Someone who wasn’t dumb enough to quit a band right before they got their big break, someone who gets to sing in front of thousands of screaming girls, someone who can snap his fingers and get any girl he wants, someone who has more money than you can dream of, someone who tried to hire Kynlee for my video.”
I shake my head at the ridiculousness of this conversation. He’s bragging like any of this means something to me but it doesn’t. “Sure Enzo, that’s what I mean but just to make something clear the band wasn’t my dream so I could care less that I quit before they got their break, I could care less about the thousands of girls you have screaming for you because I only need the one and I have plenty of money to make me happy. As far as Kynlee and your video she didn’t need you to get her a job, she can do it all on her own.” I stand up and toss some money on the counter “Night Farrah.” I stop and pat Enzo on the shoulder before I tell him. “Oh, and as far as snapping your fingers and getting any girl you want, you go right on ahead and keep snapping because there’s one girl you won’t get. Kynlee.”
I’m almost to the door when Enzo says, “I never said she couldn’t get a job on her own. We all now she’s damn sexy enough but I helped her with her career or at least I tried, that’s more than you can say.”
I turn back around with my hands in my pockets. I notice Bowie coming from in from the hallway. Farrah must have called him because she’s worried about a fight breaking out between us. “Yeah and a hell of a lot help you were. You didn’t even give her the job.”
Enzo laughs “Really? You think I didn’t give her the job. Think about that Ace, you know me better. You know I gave her that job. Sadl
y, though I had to replace her today per her request, but I’m pretty sure it has a lot more to do with you than her.” Enzo starts to head for the door and when he’s within ear shot of me he says, “Or maybe that kiss during the audition was just too much for her, maybe it confused her and now she doesn’t know what she wants.”
The ugly green monster called jealousy mixed with my raging red angry one, and before Bowie could even step toward me I have Enzo pinned to the wall. “Don’t you ever use Kynlee like that again! Do you hear me? You have a problem with me then take it up with me. If you’re jealous of something I have then take it up with me but don’t you dare mess with my girl and her head.”
“Your girl? Do you even love her?” he asks, taunting me.
“That’s none of your damn business. That’s between her and me.”
Enzo smirks. “I bet you’ve never even told her those three simple words. I bet she has to wonder from time to time. Let’s face it Ace, you’re not good for her. You don’t give her what she needs. You hold her back. She’s too good for you.”
And there it is, that nagging feeling put on display. The nagging feeling started after talking to Connor and ever since then his words have been heavily on my mind. Kynlee will need more, she deserves more. I can feel those words but I can’t say them but she needs to hear them. Even with all that I know I can’t let her go, if she walked away I would but I can’t be the one to walk away from her. I look Enzo dead in the eye. “She’s too good for either of us.”
I release Enzo, yank the door open and quickly make my way to my car. I hear Bowie hollering after me but I can’t see him right now. I burn rubber getting out of the parking lot. My thoughts run wild with images of Kynlee and Enzo kissing, even though I know that can’t be true. Kynlee wouldn’t do that to me, to us. To my surprise Kynlee isn’t home yet when I pull into the parking lot, that’s a small relief.
****
Kynlee
A few hours after Enzo left me standing at the beach my phone goes off with a text message. Looking down I see it’s from him, when I open it up it simply reads “Done,” I breathe a sigh of relief reading that one simple word. Enzo has fixed the mess that technically he created but either way it’s fixed.
My emotions are still a mess so I go to a movie and grab some food afterwards. I see that I have missed calls from Mr. Sobolak, but it’s so late and I don’t want to call him back at this hour. I figure he’s just calling to tell me that I had been replaced anyways. I’d call him first thing in the morning and act surprised when he delivers the news. This is the latest I’ve been out by myself since living in L.A. I park up on a hill for a bit and watch all the city lights. They mesmerize me again like they always had.
Finally, sleep begins to wear on me so I decide to head home. It’s late but since Ace had texted that he was going to help Bowie at the car shop I figured he’d still be out. I’m planning on already being asleep or at least pretending to be asleep when he arrives home. I need the night to get myself and emotions together. Today has been challenging to say the least.
However, to my surprise when I pull into the parking lot I see Ace’s car is already here. Not exactly what I wanted or needed right now, but I’m going to have to deal with it the best I can. Slowly, I make my way up to the apartment but when I enter all the lights are off. I think maybe Ace isn’t home after all, maybe one of his brothers or friends had come and picked him up, but then I round the corner into the bedroom.
There is Ace, stretched out in the bed. He’s asleep, snoring slightly. I stand there for a moment to admire his lean muscles that are covered in colorful ink. His boxer briefs hang low on his hips. His chocolate brown hair is longer than normal and without any product it’s in disarray but his face is peaceful. Ace has such a thick wall around himself that sometimes you forget he’s only fixing to be twenty-one, but when he’s asleep he looks his age, sometimes younger. It’s almost as if you can see little glimpses of that scared nine-year-old boy he was.
I study him for a while longer and let myself relax. I have been so tense all day that it’s nice just to take a deep breath and stare at something I love. Quietly, I take a shower then climb into bed next to Ace.
Chapter 21
Kynlee
I wake up the next morning sore but feeling well rested. The shifting of the bed and Ace whispering, “Good morning baby doll,” with a light kiss on my cheek is the best wake up I’ve had since my birthday. I pop one eye open and see him holding out a glass of chocolate milk. I sit up slowly and take the glass from him. “I have to head over to see Axell. Someone is requesting me to work on their car and I have to figure out a schedule.”
I take a drink of the chocolate milk, it tasted like heaven. Ace goes to get up and I grab his wrist. “Hold up hot stuff,” I tell him, as I make my way towards him. He chuckles and I pull his mouth towards mine.
For a moment we get lost in one another but Ace pulls back. “You’re dangerous Kyn. I got to go and if we keeping that kiss going I won’t be leaving,” he presses a kiss to the top of my head. “See you later?” he asks.
I tilt my head to the side. “Hmmm…maybe. I mean that’s if I don’t find someone to replace you with,” I say jokingly but I see the flash of certainty in Ace’s eyes. It’s there and gone so quickly I think maybe I imagined it for a moment but I’m certain that I didn’t. He gives me his quick self-assured smile then heads out of the room. I sit on the bed for a moment trying to figure out what could have caused that look then I remember I have to call Mr. Sobolak before the call time for the video.
“Mr. Sobolak’s office,” Megan says into the phone.
“Good morning Megan. It’s Kynlee Adams. I missed Mr. Sobolak’s phone calls yesterday afternoon. I was away from my phone so I was just returning his call before my call time,” I explain.
I hear Megan whisper something then she returns to phone. “Hold on while I transfer your call Kynlee.”
“Mr. Sobolak.”
I clear my throat “Good morning Mr. Sobolak, its Kynlee. I missed your calls yesterday afternoon and by the time I got back to my phone I felt it was too late to return them so I wanted to call before my call time.”
He chuckles but it sounds a bit harsh. “Well, seems you should try and go for acting instead. That sounded pretty damn convincing.”
“Excuse me?”
“Did you think that by having you replaced it would somehow make me want to represent you?” he asks.
I sink back down onto the bed. My heart is pounding and my mind is screaming no! I had fixed this problem. I take a deep breath and try to sound as convincing as I can. “Mr. Sobolak, I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”
“The hell you don’t Kynlee. Having Enzo replace you still cost me money and that’s not something I like to do. I will see you through your contracted timeline with Wicked Little Things, but after that you are free to find new representation,” he says with finality in his tone.
My breath is shaky when I say, “But Mr. Sobolak.”
“Good luck in the future Kynlee,” he says, before hanging up the phone. I sit on the side of the bed with my breathing shallow, tears stinging my eyes and the chocolate milk in my stomach churning. I jump up and run for the bathroom feeling sick. I barely make it in time.
I lean back against the wall as the feeling of failure and despair fills me. Everything I have worked for, everything I have done to try and prevent this. What was the point? I still don’t have a career, I still lost my agent and I only made things worse between Ace and me. If he finds out about either of the kisses with Enzo there will be no coming back from that. Tears slip silently down my cheeks.
I don’t know how long I sat there like that but finally I decide I need to get up. I have to be at work in a few hours since I had never changed my schedule to accommodate the shooting schedule of the video. Kenndrix! I needed to talk to Kenndrix she could always make sense of things better than I could.
&nbs
p; My movements are slow and depressed as I get ready for the day and head over to Kenndrix’s. To my disappointment, she isn’t there so I sent her a text while I’m parked in her driveway. She texts me back quickly that she gets out of class in fifteen minutes and to meet her on campus. I drive over and meet her where she told me.
She’s standing there waiting for me. Her yellow sundress and black leather jacket compliment her well. Her black leather wedges made her more of a head turner than before. I’m proud to see her have more confidence in herself. As I approach, she must have read my face because she opens her arms which only makes me speed up. I collide with her, burying my head in her shoulder and letting her arms comfort me. The tears flowed fast and furious.
Once I had managed to gain some control and my sobbing had turned into the occasional hiccup Kenndrix pulled me away from her. “What the hell is wrong Kyn? You’re scaring me.”
“My life is what’s wrong. I’ve messed everything up!”
Kenndrix runs a soothing hand up and down my back. Come on let’s go get some frozen yogurt. I’ve got a couple of hours before my next class. We walk a couple of blocks to the yogurt shop then sat outside under the canopy covered table. My yogurt is melting while I swirled my spoon in it. Kenndrix finally asks, “What’s wrong Kynlee?”
“Everything. I’ve made a mess out of everything.” I go on to explain the entire Enzo situation as well as the argument with Ace. Lastly, I tell her about the meeting with Enzo yesterday and how I had made the mistake of kissing him again. I was more worried about what that kiss could do to my relationship with Ace then I was about losing Mr. Sobolak. At the end of my rant Kenndrix sits back in her chair and studies me.
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