by C. M. Owens
“Out? I can’t. You know how I smell,” I grumble.
“Well, I don’t care. You’ve been cooped up in here for way too long. Now it’s time to come back into the world,” he urges.
I shake my head as the painful flash of Devin’s teary blue eyes spring to mind.
“I went out into the world a week ago. Remember? It was the wedding when you and my husband got into a fight,” I sardonically exchange.
“Soon to be ex-husband,” Jace snips.
“If he ever signs the damn papers,” I harp.
“Do you really want to be done with him?” he asks in a near whisper with a touch of reluctance.
“I really wish I wanted to be, and I hope it’s enough to eventually convince me this is what I want. I can’t be with him after seeing him kiss another girl. It’s just too hard.”
“How’s about I go get us some movies, popcorn, and more ice cream? We can stay in instead of going out,” he offers kindly.
“That sounds much better, but I thought you had a date with that blonde from the other night,” I muse.
“I can see her another time. Tonight, it’s just me and you. Besides, she’s mortal. It wasn’t going to be a date,” he chuckles out.
“Gross,” I say with a turned up nose. “Some details can be kept quiet.”
He just laughs at my little joke and stands up to grab his wallet.
“I’ll be back,” he says in a deep tone, and I giggle a little as he leaves.
I almost wish I could love him. It would be so much easier to be without Devin if I could.
I pick up my phone as soon as I hear him cranking the car, and then I dial Camara.
“Hey girl,” she murmurs softly. “Are things any better than when I talked to you yesterday?”
“About the same. I know you get tired of hearing me ask this, but will you let me hear his voice?” I whimper.
“Yeah. Just make sure you mute it, and I’ll put it in my pocket as usual. I think he’s in the kitchen with Gemma.”
“Great. Gemma’s there?” I gripe.
“She’s been here since she found out about the annulment papers. He’s not paying her a bit of attention though. She’s just following him around like a lost puppy,” she assures.
“He’d be paying attention to Nina if she were there,” I grumble.
She stays quiet for a moment, and then she sighs, “I’m about to walk in there.”
I press the mute button and listen as her footsteps carry me through the house. I hear light voices becoming more distinct, and I frown when Gemma’s is the first to strike my ears.
“What about Paris? We could look for her there,” she murmurs, and I know she doesn’t want to take him to the city of love to look for me… If I’m even the one they’re talking about.
“She wouldn’t go to Paris. I’m working a list of Persia’s aliases now to find out what homes she owned and when she acquired them. I’ll find her, and I really don’t need your help. I don’t want any of my exes around her anymore,” he growls.
“So you admit I was more than a nasty entanglement?” she almost boasts.
“I admit you seem to be more than that in Adisia’s eyes. No one was more than that compared to her. I’m going to get her back, and I don’t want anyone around to make her feel as if I’m not being sensitive to her feelings now that she feels betrayed,” he almost chokes out.
Now that I feel betrayed? I was betrayed!
“Do you think she’ll come back? She’s not like I am, Devin. She runs away every time there’s conflict, and she never sticks it out. Do you want that to be your life for all eternity?” she leads.
“I love her. What do you think?” he snorts.
“I think you’re both stupid,” she mumbles.
“Gemma still sniffing your ass?” Camara scoffs and I’m glad the phone is on mute because I laugh and cry in one sadly comical outburst.
“You’re so fucking crude,” Gemma growls.
“I’m wild, what’s your excuse,” Camara retorts.
I can’t help but laugh again.
I hear Gemma huffing while storming out of the room and a small snicker comes out of Devin. It’s heart melting to hear him at all, but it’s so painful to always hear about him looking for me.
He kissed someone else right in front of me, and I have to remind myself of that all the time. There wasn’t anything unnatural about it either.
“Thanks. Maybe we should change locations for a while, and with any luck, she won’t be able to find us,” Devin sighs.
“I really thought she was going to go for Ther,” Camara thinks out loud.
“I was hoping so. He’s the only reason I’ve let her hang around this long, but I want her gone before Adisia comes home.”
“And if she doesn’t come home?”
My breaths stay suspended as he pauses. I wish I could see him so badly right now. I want to feel his arms around me, but I can’t go back down that road ever again after what he did to me.
“She’s still wearing her rings. That’s something. I’ll spend the rest of my days searching for the answers we both need. I know what I did wasn’t me.”
“It’s hard to believe something like that when there’s no evidence to support it. Think about how Adisia feels. She’s had to see that same scene play out in every relationship she’s ever had. I could almost see her praying for something to have caused this,” Camara responds, and it’s exactly the reply I would have given.
“Believe me, I know how it looks, but I also know I felt a shift when we were at the market. I felt another one when she walked up on that… moment. Everything in between was me, but not me. I don’t know how to explain it,” he grumbles.
“It seemed like you were the old Devin. It could have just been cold feet,” she mutters, and tears begin drizzling down my cheeks.
I look down at the cherished rings that hold so much more meaning than a piece of jewelry ever should. That’s all I can take right now.
I wanted to hear his voice, not the words that cut like a filleting knife.
I walk upstairs to grab a shower, and I push open the window to the padded bathroom. Every room here is padded, and if I ever want to know what’s going on outside, an open window is necessary.
The natural storm clouds threaten to release some much needed rain on the dry land, but their thundering is merely a tease as they pass on by without so much as shedding a single drop.
I decide a good rain is exactly what I need, and I pull the clouds back to darken the sky with the setting sun. The rain starts drenching the ground that soaks it up appreciatively the second it touches the dirty, dry sand.
The scent of the fresh drizzle brings a needed smile to my face, and I tilt my head back to drown my hair under the showerhead as the lightning crashes in a dancing beat.
The roaring of an engine sounds out, and I cut the shower off to dry my body and join Jace.
“Damn it,” I hear him grumble when I open the door to the bathroom.
“What?” I call down the stairs.
“The damn rain. Since when does it rain in Phoenix? Now I’m soaked,” he grumbles.
“Sorry,” I laugh out, and I hear him start chuckling in response.
“So it’s you I should be cursing right now?” he muses.
“Yes it is,” I tease, and suddenly he’s in front of me without a trace of humor left on his face when he sees me dripping from the shower and barely covered up.
I cling to the towel separating me from his seductive body too close to mine in such a vulnerable state. His eyes are burning into mine, and I know this is about to be bad.
I pray the towel stays up when his stare becomes hungrier. I feel the heat of his breath brushing against my face, and suddenly his lips are against mine. For the first time, I don’t fight it.
It feels so good just to be touched. My body aches for the feel of someone’s desire, and my hands grip the back of his neck to pull him closer.
He lifts me
to the counter, and my legs part as he steps between them. Passion ignites, but it’s not Jace’s face I see when I close my eyes… It’s Devin’s.
I grip tighter as he pours his desire into my mouth, and my legs tighten against his waist when he grips my sides. I strip his drenched shirt from his body, and his perfection shines through.
I close my eyes again as soon as his lips return to mine, and then I say the name my body truly desires.
“Devin,” I moan, but that doesn’t stop him.
He lifts me to stay against him, and the towel tries to falter against the heated moment. The wall presses against my back in the hallway, and his pants rattle as he undoes his belt.
I throb to be touched, but it’s not his touch I desire. I don’t know if I can deny my needs any longer though. Aphrodite has endured a drought she can’t handle any more, and my eyes flash green as I grip him too tightly.
“His painful breath releases, but it only hastens his pace as he rips the towel open to reveal my bare body to him.
“Fuck,” he murmurs against my lips, and then I feel his bare skin between my legs as his pants slide down.
Suddenly Devin’s face twisted in agony from this betrayal flashes through my mind, and I snap back to sanity.
I can’t do this.
“Stop,” I cry out, and the tears pour down my face in a feverish flow.
He doesn’t stop though. His grip tightens, and the kiss becomes rougher as he tries to seduce me into submission.
I cry harder when I’m torn about what to do. My body craves this affection.
I have to stop it though. I can’t do this to him knowing how he truly feels about me. Furthermore, I can’t do this to myself.
I love Devin, and I’ll hate myself for doing this when Jace gets hurt.
“Stop,” I say more adamantly, and this time he halts the fiery assault.
“Sorry,” he gasps while pressing his forehead against mine, and it’s as though he can’t catch his breath. “I thought… I’m sorry,” he repeats.
“No. I’m sorry,” I say while fresh tears stream down my face, and I slump down the wall while wrapping back up in my towel.
He quickly pulls his pants back up, and then he sits down beside me before pulling me into an embrace that isn’t fueled by desire. I feel his guilt and confusion exuding from his body.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I know you’re still in love with him, and I know you’re too vulnerable for me to do something like that,” he murmurs. “I just got carried away. I didn’t plan on you being soaking wet and in a towel,” he adds with a touch of humor.
I laugh a little through my ferocious sniffling, and he dries my eyes with his hands.
“This isn’t fair to you. You’re having to stay with me and endure this scent when no one else can. You’ve already told me you love me, and I can’t return that affection. You should go. You don’t have to stay,” I sob guiltily.
“Hey,” he coos while tucking my head against his chest. “I’m here because I want to be. In case you don’t remember, you kind of saved the world. It’s the least I can do. You don’t have to love me back. I can stay on the friend side of the fence,” he gently soothes. “I wouldn’t mind a few more moments like that though,” he snickers.
I laugh a little, and he continues holding me to his chest while I continue to cry and laugh at the same time. He kisses my forehead, and I can feel the heat of his body antagonizing his desire for release.
“Go find the blond,” I grumble.
He laughs fiercely. “I’ll be okay. It’s not the first time I’ve felt teased in my life,” he snickers out.
“This is a little more intense thanks to my power and my scent. I don’t expect you to be superman,” I say with a smirk.
“Those green and blue eyes do have a kryptonite sort of affect,” he teases with a seduced hue tainting the undertones of his voice.
“Go. I’ll be fine.”
He chuckles a little and disappears to his room to find some dry clothes.
I pick up all the scattered pieces of my crazy drama, and I slowly stand while trembling from the drought that seems to be besting me.
He walks out and leans down to offer me a less intrusive kiss as he gently pecks me on the lips.
“Make it stop raining, please. I think that was my undoing,” he pleads jokingly, but I almost feel as though it’s a serious request masked by a kidding tone.
I force a smile as he walks out, and I lift the rain back into the sky. I cry harder when I hear he’s out of range, and my towel catches my falling flow as I pull it up to meet my weeping blues.
Everything is always wrong nowadays. I’m almost in pain for physical contact, and I’m wishing I had let them block Aphrodite instead of Asteria.
I pull out my phone and dial Persia right away.
“Adisia? Is everything okay?” she worries.
“Please tell me I can block Aphrodite and make all this go away,” I beg through my tears.
She sighs very hard, and then I hear her taking a deep breath.
“Aphrodite was the first connection you had. Blocking her would be the same as killing you. You’d be lost, numb, and completely unaware of the world you’re in. I’m sorry dear, but it’s just not possible.”
“Then tell me what to do,” I beg.
“I’m searching for answers, sweetie. I swear I am. We ran into a harpie problem here, and we’ve been helping Phillip coral them. I promise we’ll find a way to fix this. Maybe you should think about talking to Devin. Denying Aphrodite her true desire is painful for anyone. Denying yourself is even more so,” she wisely offers.
Hearing her philosophical spew is just making me madder.
“Don’t you think I would go back to Devin if I could? I saw his memories as if they were my own. There wasn’t anything there but a man who didn’t want to be bound to me for as long as he thought.
“It was the most painful thing I’ve ever endured. I saw him flirting, teasing, and building up to the horrible thing I had to witness first hand. His lips were against hers, and it was his choice. He wasn’t different than any other man I’ve ever been with at that moment, and I still hoped for a different answer.
“I had to endure all that pain again when there wasn’t one. Don’t tell me what I need to do to help myself, just tell me how to make it stop,” I berate.
She sighs out louder, and I can actually hear her wiping away tears.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I don’t have any right to tell you to put yourself in that situation again. I just don’t know any other way to soothe your pain. Your connection with him has been stronger than any I’ve ever seen. I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. I’ll see if I can figure something out.”
I just hang up without saying anything else. I’m choking on my own emotion, and I need something to calm me down.
I dial Camara, and I try to suck back the tears that are refusing to stop. Her voicemail switches on after it rings for too long.
I cry harder as I go to gorge on the pounds and pounds of ice cream Jace brought in. She’s probably in the room with him right now. She never answers when he’s around because he might hear me.
My phone buzzes, and I still sniffle when I answer.
“Thank you for calling back. I’m so sorry, but I have to hear his voice right now,” I sob out.
“Adisia?”
My heart almost stops, and I feel sick as the room starts to spin. Devin’s voice shouldn’t be on the other end of the line, and I’m worried I’ve reached the point of hallucinating.
“You’re calling Camara to hear my voice, but you won’t speak to me,” he grumbles. “I want to hear your voice too.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… I need to go,” I sob harder.
“Please don’t hang up. Tell me why you’re crying. Did Jace do something?” he growls, contempt and protectiveness etched in his undertones.
“No,” I whimper. “I’m hanging up now.�
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“Please don’t. I’m begging you. Just talk to me,” he urges.
I can’t. I love you, and I can’t.
“Bye, Devin,” I murmur, and then I put the phone back on the counter and stare at it like I’m worried he’s going to find a way to jump through it.
It starts buzzing instantly, but it’s his number this time. I almost feel my hand betraying me as it tries to answer, but I fight it.
Now he knows my number, and he won’t stop. I’ll send Jace for a new one when he gets a chance. For now, I’ll just have to deal with it.
Chapter 7
Pushed into Reality
The breakfast ice cream and pickled herring are just sad as they stare at me with their gross, mixed appeal.
I walk over to pull some tuna from the cabinet and slide my nails over it to lift the can top. If I wasn’t already crazy, I’d assume I was getting there pretty damn quick.
My phone buzzes, and I cringe when I lift it to look at the number. Devin called all night long, and it just made me spend the night in tears.
I exhale in relief when I see it’s Hale.
“Hey,” I murmur softly.
“Hey to you too. What are you doing this fine morning?” he asks too cheerfully.
“I’m sitting on a stool eating… breakfast,” I say uncertainly as I stare at the putrid disaster in a bowl.
I’m the grossest seductress in the world.
“Well, I’m calling because we need your help,” he announces.
“With what?” I ask warily.
“With our harpie and hellhound fiasco,” he explains… sort of.
“Hellhounds?”
“Vicious four legged beasts with a taste for blood. Some have confused them to be the Chupacabra in the past. Some have mistaken it for a rabid wolf… bottom line, this is one mean beast, and there’re more than we can handle alone,” he continues.
“Why do you need me?” I muse.
“Hellhounds form when too much violence has entered the world. With all the fighting we’ve been doing, I’m surprised there aren’t more. There’s a guy in Miami who can call them to us, but we need you to get the guy to help us. He’s a bit of an ass, and he’s not too big on helping out. Not to mention, we need your zap.”