“Then be happy. Smile, laugh, and love the fact that you’re going to be a father and that you have a pretty amazing girlfriend.”
“I have the most amazing girlfriend. You’re all I need.”
He kisses me as though there is nothing else he can do. As though my kiss can heal him as thoroughly as I want it to. I want to be his salvation and hope, but it scares me. What if I’m not enough?
I shake the thought loose and let it float away because I need to take my own advice and enjoy the now. Josh is here, he loves me, and that’s more than I ever thought I’d have.
Chapter 29
Joshua
“Where are you taking me?” Delia asks with a laugh as I walk her forward, covering her eyes.
“Just keep going. Three more steps.” She sighs and does as I ask. “Okay, stop.”
I drop my hands, and she gasps. The cabin we’re at is just down the road from Delia’s cabin, but it’s beautiful. The roof’s peak is incredible with floor-to-ceiling windows and the white holiday lights line it. There are smaller, softer peaks to the right and left of the center one, and a wraparound porch hugs the whole exterior. It’s a house that we all grew up admiring.
“Do you remember this place?” she asks with hesitation.
“I remember everything regarding you.” Her eyes widen, and then she looks back at the house. I come from behind her, taking both her hands in mine. “I met my brother’s friend here when I was twenty. My brother had been drinking and had passed out on the deck, and she called me to help move him.”
“She was probably pretty nervous to do that seeing as you were so much older than she was.”
I laugh. “She probably was, but she was brave enough to reach out.”
“I doubt your brother thought that. I seem to remember him not talking to her for a week because he had to do extra chores as punishment for waking his brother up in the middle of the night.”
“You’re ruining my story,” I scold her.
“Sorry. I’ll be quiet. Do go on about this brave girl and her selfless acts of heroism.”
I lean in and kiss her neck, causing her to giggle. “Anyway, she called me, I came and got him loaded into the car. When I turned to find out where she had gone, I found her standing in this very spot, staring at this house.”
“This very one?”
“This very one. She told me how she dreamed, that one day, she’d own a house with three roofs and windows that looked out at the world. She said she’d meet a man who would love her, give her a home filled with happiness and love.”
Delia turns her head. “She had big dreams and a big mouth.”
“I happened to think her mouth was perfect, and I wanted to kiss her that night.”
“Dirty old man you were, lusting after a fifteen-year-old.”
I burst out laughing, pull her to me, and spin us so we’re both turned to the side, the house silhouetting us. “Do you remember what else you said?”
“I told you that this place was magical and was somewhere that people could forget their troubles if they let themselves.”
“You did. You also said that you met someone who stole your heart.”
“Did you know I meant you?”
I shake my head. “I thought you meant Alex.”
“I didn’t.”
“I know that now, beautiful. I think you stole my heart that day. We stood here, with you looking at that house and the snow all around you, and I thought: God, that girl is special.”
Her hand lifts, pushing my hair back. “And I thought: God, I’d really like him to kiss me.”
I wanted to. So damn bad, but she was young, and I was in college. It felt wrong to think of her that way, so I held back. I gave Delia every indication that she was too young, too immature for me, even though I wanted her more than anything.
But I can kiss her now, so I do. I kiss her with everything inside me. “Sorry I’m a little late on that kiss,” I say as I pull back and press my forehead to hers.
“I forgive you. But if you loved this fantastic girl so much, why didn’t you ever come back for her?”
“Because I was an idiot. I left town, did my best to forget this one magical kiss I had with her, and tried to give her a chance at love.”
“There was no love, Josh,” Delia says with a little bit of sadness.
“No, but I wasn’t ready for you. I knew you’d own me, Delia. I knew that if I let myself near you, I would stay in this town and become what my father wanted. I couldn’t do that. So, I went back to New Orleans after that day in the diner.”
Her lips turn down and she sighs softly. “That kiss is why I never could get over you.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t be, tell me more about this fantastic girl who you knew would own your heart and soul. She sounds like a keeper.”
I chuckle, and we turn our heads to see the house. “She and I talked for an hour while Alex was passed out in the car. She told me about losing her dad, how she wanted to go to college but was afraid to leave her mom alone, and she made me forget about our age difference.” I take a pause, remembering it all. “You scared the hell out of me that night.”
“Me?” she asks, her voice going up a notch. “What the hell did I do?”
“I wanted you, but I was so much older, and it felt wrong.”
“Is that why you always made me feel like a little girl after that night?”
I nod. “If I put you in that category, I thought it would help.”
Delia smirks. “Guess that didn’t work out for you.”
“I’m glad it didn’t.”
“Me too. And I can’t believe that you remembered that night,” Delia says with a smile.
“I told you I did.”
The snow is falling around us, and the lights from the beautiful house she loves shine on the unmarred white ground. She is so beautiful that I know this moment will be in my heart forever. When I’m old, I’ll recall the time that I stood in the snow with the most breathtaking woman who looked at me like I was her entire world.
“Why are we here?” she asks.
“Because I rented this house for the weekend.”
She turns her head, studying me. “We live right down the road.”
“We do, but I think we deserve a little magic, don’t you?”
Delia’s hand moves to my face, she rests it on my cheek. “I think you’re the magic, Josh.”
“And here I thought I was just charming.”
“You’re that too, when you’re not an ass.”
I lift her into my arms, twirling us in the snow. “I want to make you happy. The things that I would do if we were dating are different because we live together. While I can’t give you the house with three roofs to live in, we can borrow it.”
The owners of this place are good friends with my mother and have been renting the house out in the winter while they go to Florida to get away from the winters here. I called them, and they were all too happy to let me take it for a few nights.
Her eyes fill with unshed tears. “I am really glad I was never over you.”
I grin. “Me too. Come on, let’s go inside.”
Delia takes my hand, and we walk up the stairs and into the house she dreamed of. The house is unbelievable. The entire back wall is nothing but windows up to the peak. The only obstruction there is the floor-to-ceiling rock fireplace.
“Wow, inside is even better than I remember.”
“They’ve done a lot of work to the house.”
She turns, taking everything in. I know Delia loves her home, but if things work out for us, I’d like to move her into something like this. To give her and the twins the life she wanted.
“I still am in shock,” she says with a laugh. “You rented the dream house.”
“For you.”
Delia walks toward me, her eyes full of warmth. Her arms loop around my neck. “And all I was hoping for is that you’d make love to me.”
Now that I
can do.
I take her hand in mine without a word. Her trust in me so absolute that she doesn’t question it. She just follows me. I may not have said the words to her, but I hope she feels it in my touch or the way I look at her.
I love her.
I think I have since that night I first laid eyes on her, but I forced it away.
Now, there’s nothing stopping me from having it. We aren’t kids anymore and there’s no one in our way.
I push open the door to the bedroom, and she gasps. “Josh?”
I came here earlier and did everything I could to make this special. The room is swathed in candlelight. Hundreds of flames flicker all around.
She steps in, looking around. “This is beautiful.”
“You’re beautiful.”
Nothing else but her matters. I want her more than anything else in the world. I was so stupid for so long, and I don’t want to waste another second with her.
“You did all this for me?”
I move to her, needing to touch her and feel her skin. “I would do anything for you.”
“Anything?”
My fingers slide along her jaw and then I cup her cheek. “Ask me for what you want and find out.”
She starts to speak but then stops herself. I want this to be perfect for her. I want tonight to be what should’ve been from the start. Where she feels desired, worshiped, and . . . loved.
That word has been a weapon I’ve feared, but looking at Delia, open and trusting, suddenly it isn’t so scary.
My thumb moves against her silky skin. “I love you, Delia. I should’ve seen it before, but I was a damn fool.”
Tears track down her cheeks. “You don’t have to say it.”
“No, I do because I mean it.”
“It’s . . .”
“It’s what I feel.”
Her lips turn into a tentative smile. “Do you know how long I’ve prayed for you to love me?”
“Probably as long as I’ve fought it.”
She closes her eyes, and I brush the tears aside. “No tears, baby.”
“It’s just too much, being here with you in this house and having you tell me you love me. You love me, and we’re together. I don’t feel like this is real.”
I lift her face, forcing her gaze to stay locked on me. “Everything about this moment is real. It’s you and me, and I am so fucking sorry I fought against it. I am so sorry that I made you question everything. I never want to hurt you, and I can’t deny that you’re all I think about.”
“I love you. I will always love you.”
I smile. “I’m going to kiss you, and I don’t plan on stopping until I’ve erased every doubt from your mind.”
Her hands frame my face, and she pulls me to her. “I’m going to need a lot of convincing.”
“Then it’s a good thing we have all weekend.”
I pull her to me, crushing our lips together in the sweetest kiss. The last few months I’ve had Delia in many ways. We’ve had sex, fucked, and everything in between. A few weeks ago, I would’ve sworn that it was making love. It was sweet, slow, and I poured myself into every touch.
This is otherworldly.
There is nothing between us. The barriers of the past are gone, and all I feel is hope for more—for her.
Delia is the future. She’s always been here, waiting, and I am not going to waste another second.
Our tongues glide against one another as we kiss languidly because there’s nothing else in the world but this. We have time stretched out before us, and there’s no hurry to have this stop.
I tilt her head to the side, giving me better access, and drink in her moan.
“Josh,” she says between shallow breaths as I move my lips to her neck, kissing the soft skin there.
“I am going to kiss every inch of you,” I promise. “I’m going to strip you down and worship you like the goddess you are.”
I push the sweater off her shoulders, and return my lips to the skin there, moving down along her collarbone.
“Don’t stop.”
“I don’t plan to.”
I lead her toward the bed, loving how her skin looks in the candlelight, how the warm glow moves around her. For so long, I’ve been cold. I’ve shut out heat and passion, but tonight, I’m going to burn for her.
When we reach the mattress, I peel her clothes off, watching the fabric fall to the floor as she stands before me—bare. I wish she knew how it was me that felt exposed. How giving her those words, giving her my heart felt natural, but also terrifying.
In the back of my mind, I worry I’ll fail her.
I worry I’ll cause her pain or she’ll face the same fate that Morgan did.
I let her down.
I let her fall, but the love I have for Delia is a hundred times greater. It will kill me if I lose her.
Her long lashes flutter as my hands move down her body, feeling each curve. I lower myself to my knees, and her fingers slide through my hair.
I press my lips to her stomach, to where our future grows, and pray I can do right by her.
Chapter 30
Delia
He’s so gentle. So caring that it causes my heart to ache.
This entire night has been overwhelming and incredible. This house has been a part of me in so many ways. I’ve often wondered about the people who lived here, imagining a love and life that I didn’t think possible.
Josh looks up at me after kissing my belly, and my world pivots. I sink down in front of him, wanting us to be equals, and he presses our mouths together. It’s hungrier than before, but no less tender.
“I love you,” I tell him.
“I love you.”
My throat gets tight because those words from him mean everything to me. We kiss deeper, breaking when I lift his shirt. I want to feel his skin against mine. I remove his pants, pushing them down, and then he helps me to my feet.
Our mouths don’t stop tasting, and our hands don’t stop caressing as he guides me back onto the mattress. I squirm.
“I will never be good enough for you, Delia, but God help me, I’m going to try.”
“Don’t place me on a pedestal. Don’t make me out to be something I’m not because you don’t think you’re good enough. Look at this,” I say, my eyes going around the room. “You did this for me because you love me. If you weren’t good for me, you wouldn’t care.”
Josh parts my knees, and his lips graze my thigh. “I care. I care about you more than my own life. I want you to feel good.”
“I do. I always do with you.”
He kisses lower. “I’m going to make you come on my tongue. I’m going to love you so hard that you never question how I feel about you.”
My eyes roll into the back of my head, and before I can say anything, his mouth is there. Josh does exactly as he promised. I climb higher and higher with each swipe of his tongue. He moves at a steady place while his hands hold my legs down so I can’t move. I’m completely at his mercy, and what a damn place it is. I start to shake as my climax grows nearer.
“I’m so close,” I whimper.
Josh doesn’t relent. He adds more pressure, then pulls back a little, toying with me over and over. I can’t breathe or think or speak.
It’s too much.
I’m too close and too emotional to hold back.
I cry out, yelling his name as I arch up. I’m weightless and heavy at the same time as I fall apart. He continues to touch me, drawing out every drop of pleasure my body can give.
Then he’s over me, his arms on each side of my head. Josh’s eyes are hazy as he stares down at me.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing. Nothing at all.”
My hands move up his arms, gripping his shoulders. “I want you inside me.” My legs wrap around his hips, and he settles himself there.
I feel the pressure as he just barely enters me. It’s so intense, the feelings that we are both experiencing, and tears begin to fall. “I love y
ou,” I say, watching him through watery eyes.
“Say it again,” he asks as he pushes deeper.
“I love you, Josh.”
He moves forward again. “Don’t stop.”
“I love you. I love you. I need you.” I repeat the words over and over.
Josh thrusts forward, burying himself inside me, and the tears fall from being so overcome with love as he drives me to another orgasm.
Wrapped in a blanket on the floor, Josh feeds me cheese and bread. We’ve been like this for an hour, still finding ways to be touching. Making love was everything, but this is even better. Intimacy.
“Have you thought about what you’re going to do with work?” he asks as I lean against his chest.
“I’m going to keep doing it if that’s what you mean.”
He laughs. “I’m saying are you going to take some time off?”
I shrug. “I’d like to.”
“I think you should. You spend a lot of time on your feet at work.”
“That’s the truth. Still, with the house payments and the other stuff, it’s going to be hard to take that much time off.”
I have some vacation saved, and I’ll get a few weeks for maternity, but it still doesn’t feel like enough time. Thankfully, childcare is completely taken care of. Josh’s family and my mother have already offered—demanded—that I let them help. Mom will be the primary person, and if there’s a reason she can’t, Jess said I better call her.
Still, she has an infant, and I’ll have two. I’d like that to be a last resort.
“You know that I have money saved, right?”
“Yes, and that’s yours.”
His arm tightens. “I want to take care of you, Delia.”
I lift my head to look at him. “And you have. You do. Look at the work you’ve done to the house that you refuse to take any money for.”
“You let me live with you, that’s my rent.”
“If I recall, I didn’t let you do anything.”
He grins. “Look how it worked out.”
Mollified, I let it go and put my head back down. “Josh?”
“Yeah?”
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