by Sarah Bailey
Fucking Aiden again. The amount of space he took up in my head was intolerable. I was curious about him. About what reasoning he had for killing my parents. Why he really needed me alive. Why he wanted me to learn to rely on him. Obey him. And not least of all, what the hell the tattoos on his arms meant. He’d only allowed me to see them that one time, but the images had burnt into my brain. I’d be able to draw them if he gave me a pen and paper.
Down his left arm, he had several skulls and roses along with some text which I hadn’t been able to make out. It was his right arm that fascinated me. On his bicep was a bird in a cage and wrapping around his forearm, a chain. There were other things, but those two stood out to me. I wanted to know what the caged bird meant. To be honest, I wanted to know what all of it meant. Some part of me wanted to understand him.
And as if he knew I was thinking about him, the door to my cell swung open. I blinked. First, he dumped a bucket in the corner of the room and left. When he returned, he had a plastic bag with him. He set it down next to me along with a large bottle of water. He’d fed me breakfast not long ago so I wasn’t expecting him.
“I have to go out and I don’t know when I’ll be back. There should be enough to keep you going,” he said.
He’d been out during the day before. I mean I knew he had to have gone out, but this was the first time he’d actually come and informed me.
“Oh.”
“If I could trust you, I’d let you out into the flat, but I don’t yet.”
“You think I’d try to leave?”
He cocked an eyebrow.
“Wouldn’t you?”
I shrugged.
“Probably.”
Something told me escaping him wasn’t ever going to be an option. And at this point, I wasn’t really sure I wanted to. Despite my deteriorating mental state and the isolation, being here was easy. I knew I’d see him three times a day. He stood outside when I went to the bathroom instead of coming in with me now. I was beginning to rely on the man staring down at me no matter how hard I tried not to. Rely on the routine he’d given me. It was the only thing keeping me sane.
“Well then.”
There wasn’t really anything I could say to that. He turned and left, shutting the door behind him. For the first time in what I thought might be two weeks but could be longer, he locked it. I was trapped in his concrete cell and he wasn’t here any longer. I tried not to think too hard on that fact.
The first few hours were okay. I thought about Gert, James and Peter. Then it became harder to forget Aiden wasn’t just outside. He’d left me snacks and sandwiches. I ate a little when I got hungry and got desperate enough that I had to go in the bucket.
How long had he been gone? I lost all sense of time, beginning to lose my grip on reality. I kept hearing the locks turning in my head but the door never opened. I thought I heard his deep voice whispering in my ear.
“Avery. Avery. Avery.”
I whipped my head around but there was nothing. The cell was empty. I couldn’t take it any longer. Marching over to the door, I banged on it over and over.
“Aiden, please, please, I can’t deal with this anymore. I promise I’ll be good. I promise. Just let me out. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
Tears fell down my cheeks.
“Aiden. Please. I… I need you.”
The moment those words left my lips, I collapsed on the floor. They were the truth. I did need him. It wasn’t just to end this torment in the cell. I looked forward to seeing him. My beautiful avenging angel.
“I need you,” I sobbed, burying my face in my hands. “I need you.”
When I saw him, I forgot my parents were dead by his hands. All I saw was him. All that hard muscle beneath his clothes which I’d felt pressed up against me when he’d pinned me to the wall. The self-assured way he carried himself. The deadly look in his eyes. Those silver eyes which haunted my every waking moment and even my dreams. Aiden was all of that and so much more. And I was the stupid girl who couldn’t look away.
“Avery.”
“Please, Aiden, come back to me.”
I crawled away from the door. The locks rang in my ears. I peered at it, but it didn’t open.
Was I having a mental breakdown?
Had I finally snapped?
I was definitely hearing things that weren’t really there.
“Avery, you are mine. Mine.”
I put my hands over my ears. It had to stop. All of it.
I saw feet in front of me. I looked up and there was my father.
“Dad?”
“My little angel. I’ve missed you. Daddy is home now.”
His voice sounded disjointed. I didn’t understand how he was here. He was supposed to be dead. I saw him die.
“You’re not real.”
“Don’t you want to see me, sweetie?”
“No. No, you’re not real. You can’t be.”
“Avery, why didn’t you save me? Why didn’t you stop him?”
No. This couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t have done anything to stop Aiden. No. His eyes looked exactly like my dad’s with those little crinkles in the corners.
“You’re not real! Not real. Please, Aiden. I need Aiden.”
“Aiden killed me. How can you want the man who killed me?”
I put my hands over my eyes. I was hallucinating my own father. This could not be happening.
“Stop. Please stop. Aiden, make it stop.”
“Aiden isn’t here, angel. Aiden can’t save you. Look at me, baby, look at me.”
“No. He can. He can. I need him,” I sobbed. “I need him.”
I was fucking crazy. All of this was a sick twisted dream and I couldn’t get out of it. Was I asleep or was this just guilt? Either way, I needed the stupid vision of my father to go away. He was messing me up even more. I couldn’t take this.
“Look at me, Avery.”
I slowly removed my hands from my eyes. Right between his eyes, a hole started to form, blood pouring out of the wound. I screamed, scrambling backwards until I hit the wall. Lifeless eyes stared back at me.
“Why didn’t you save me?” my father said one last time before he collapsed on the floor.
I huddled my knees up to my chest and buried my face in them, sobbing. It wasn’t real. Nothing was real anymore
All I could think about was Aiden coming back and finding me like this. A mess. No longer able to distinguish between a hallucination and reality.
Is this what he wanted?
Did he want to break me this much?
Seeing my father had well and truly fucked me up.
Why did I even care what Aiden might think?
He caused this. He killed my family. I should be angry with him, except I wasn’t. It didn’t matter if that made me insane. All I wanted right now was him. He was real. I’d find my way back to reality for him.
Whether hours had passed or not, I didn’t know. I peered out from my knees, but I was alone again. My dad wasn’t on the floor. I almost cried in relief.
Hauling myself up to sitting position, I dragged the bag with the snacks Aiden had left to me. The big Cadbury’s caramel bar stared at me. I’d told him it was my favourite chocolate.
I ripped open the packet and ate three squares in quick succession. The sugar hit my system immediately, spreading through my veins. I sighed at the simple pleasure.
Before I knew it, I’d consumed half the bar and instead, I felt sick. I shoved it away from me, putting a hand over my mouth.
Idiot. Why did you eat it so fast?
Stupid. Fucked up. Crazy. Losing it.
I looked around the room. The single bulb illuminated all the corners. Nothing was lurking. No more hallucinations.
That’s when I heard the locks turning again. I put my hands on my ears.
No. No. Not that again.
The door swung back. I stared up at the figure there.
/>
Aiden.
I scrambled to my feet as he took a few steps towards me. Was it really him? I wasn’t seeing things again, was I? Who cared. All I knew was I needed him.
Him.
“Are… are you real?” I whispered.
He frowned, taking in the mess of wrappers on the floor.
“Are you okay?”
That deep voice rumbled through me. I knew that sound. It could only mean one thing.
I launched forward and barrelled my way into his chest, wrapping my arms around his solid back. I clung to him like a leech.
“You’re real. You have to be real,” I mumbled.
“Avery, what the fuck?”
“I kept seeing things. Hearing things. But you, you’re real. I can feel you. I thought you’d never come back. Don’t leave me again, please. I can’t face it.”
I didn’t care I was rambling nonsense to him. His heart thudded against his chest. The chest that moved with every breath he took.
“Please, Aiden. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I don’t want to see my dad again. I don’t. I can’t.”
He grabbed my shoulders and tore me away from him, staring down at me with those steel grey eyes which sent my heart into overdrive.
“What is wrong with you?”
“Are you angry with me? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do anything wrong. Please, just please don’t leave me alone.”
He frowned further, searching my face.
“Is this some kind of act? Because it’s not fucking funny if it is. Do you think I’m going to fall for bullshit like this?”
Tears welled in my eyes. He didn’t believe me. What could I do to make him see? How could he think this was an act?
“No, please. I’m serious. I saw my dad die again, right in front of me. I don’t fucking know what is real or not. I can’t deal with this. I need… I need you to believe me. I…I…I need you. Please.”
I sounded so pathetic. Hot, wet tears dripped down my face. Begging the man who’d murdered my parents was just fucked up.
I fell to my knees, putting my hands out.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please believe me. I will do anything. I just need you.”
I bowed my head to my chest.
“Please,” I whispered. “I’m yours.”
Those were the words which well and truly sealed my fate. Seconds seemed to tick by so slowly, but I didn’t move. I felt his hand cup my face, his thumb running along my bottom lip.
“Come here,” he said, his voice gentle.
When I raised my head, he was sitting in front of me. He dropped his hand. He let me crawl into his lap and held me to his chest. I breathed him in. He smelt faintly of cedarwood and pine.
“Tell me what you saw.”
“I kept hearing the locks on the door turning. And your voice in my ear. I saw my dad. He kept asking why I didn’t save him. I kept telling him he wasn’t real. All I wanted was to see you because I know you’re real. He asked me why I wanted the man who killed him. He said you couldn’t save me. Then I saw the bullet in his head again and he collapsed on the floor. I was so scared. I know it wasn’t real, but it felt real.”
Aiden clutched me closer, stroking my hair.
“I’ve got you now, Avery. You don’t have to be scared.”
The fear I’d felt leaked out of my body. My limbs no longer felt tense. Aiden’s presence calmed me, soothed me. He rested his cheek against the top of my head. I closed my eyes, my hand curling around his neck and threading in the short hair at the back of his head.
“You’re okay now,” he murmured. “You’re safe with me.”
And the fucked up part?
That was a lie I wanted to believe.
I would never be safe with Aiden.
Not now.
Not ever.
Chapter Six
Aiden
I’d broken her without even really trying. Keeping her in that cell had done the work for me. I hadn’t realised when I’d left to go deal with what Chuck wanted, she’d completely lose her mind. Hallucinating her own father’s death all over again. Shit. That would fuck anyone up, especially what she’d imagined he’d said to her.
Her father was right. I wouldn’t save her. I planned on ruining her entirely. Yet, here and now, I just held her because she needed me. She’d said it herself.
I didn’t like seeing her like this. Scared. Terrified. This wasn’t the girl who challenged me and told me to go to hell.
“Are you hungry?” I asked her.
“Yes.”
She looked up at me, her eyes still wet with tears. Fucking doe eyes. I couldn’t resist them. And a part of me didn’t even want to.
“Come on, you can have a shower and I’ll make dinner, okay?”
She nodded, pulling away from me. I shifted, pulling the keys out of my pocket and unlocked her ankle manacle. I took her hand and led her into the bathroom.
I could clean up her cell later when I’d put her to bed. The thought of having her in my bed did things to me, but I was pretty sure if I left her alone for too long, she’d freak out again. I couldn’t have that. Pushing her further wouldn’t get me anywhere.
“Are you going to be okay in here without me?”
“Just leave the door open,” she replied.
I nodded, walking out and away into the kitchen. I pulled out a bunch of stuff from the fridge and cupboards. Avery wasn’t picky, which made things easier.
As I chopped vegetables, my mind wandered back to when I’d seen Chuck earlier. I’d gone to his office after he called me last night to say he had things for me to take care of. I’d heard from him a couple of times over the past three weeks.
The police had released details of Mitchell and Kathleen’s deaths and Avery’s disappearance to the press. They had no leads and no clue where to start when it came to finding Chuck’s niece.
There was nothing but speculation all over the internet. Some people said she might be ransomed. Some people thought she’d killed her own parents and others that she’d run away. Stupid really.
It was just as well I’d kept her away from all of this. She didn’t need to read that shit about herself. Especially not now when she was in such a fragile state. The one I was about to exploit for my own benefit.
Chuck had been sitting behind his desk when I walked in. He looked like Mitchell except younger with lighter hair. There was a strong resemblance between him and Avery.
“Thank fuck,” he said, looking up at me. “It’s been crazy around here for weeks. No one knows how to deal with Mitch being gone.”
I nodded, sitting down on a chair in front of him. Chaos was exactly what I wanted.
“I’ve got some leads I need following up.”
“Leads…?”
“Well, people who haven’t been paying their way to be exact.”
“I see.”
“Business can’t just come to a standstill. The board is looking after the company until Avery is found and I’m stuck dealing with the other side of things as usual.”
The other side being their underhanded dealings. There were many sides to Daniels Holdings. So many sides the public didn’t see. The fact that anyone thought they were a reputable property business was testament to their ability to keep secrets and silence anyone who threatened to talk. It helped that they had so many powerful people in their pockets.
Shaw Associates dealt with the legal side of their property business. A shit hot solicitors firm run by Frazier Shaw, Mitchell’s best friend and the man who made sure none of their dirty secrets came to light. That fucker needed to be torn down too. Him and his snivelling little son, Tristan.
Fucking prick was about as stuck up as a little rich boy could get. He was sick in the head. Worst of all, they had always intended for him to marry Avery so he could run the business by her side. Made me sick to think of Tristan touching her. No one was allowed to touch her e
xcept me. No other man would ever get close enough to Avery again. I wasn’t going to sleep with her, but she was still mine.
I ignored the voice in my head telling me it was idiotic to believe I wouldn’t give in to temptation and bury my cock deep inside her tight pussy.
“So, you need me to shake down some doors.”
“Precisely. The little maggots can’t be allowed to take advantage of the delicate situation the company is in. A show of strength if you will.”
“Consider it done.”
“I always know I can count on you.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. Chuck was so confident in that knowledge, he wouldn’t see it coming when I stabbed him in the back. They all should’ve known better considering what they’d done to me, but I’d been good at deceiving them all. Too good.
“Anything else?”
“No. Just wish I knew where the fuck my niece was. Everything would be easier if we had her to show a unified front. Still, things could always be worse.”
Oh, they could and they would be. Soon. I just had to bide my time and let this play out.
“I’m sure she’ll turn up soon.”
I’d left after that, taking the names he’d given me and paying a few people a visit. It’d taken longer than anticipated. A few of them failed to understand their place. I’d had to show them. With my fists. Just one of the many things I did for Chuck and his sick family business.
I shook myself, staring down at the meal I’d prepared. I hoped it would make her happy. I’d left her some pyjamas outside the bathroom door.
I turned, finding her standing in the kitchen, staring at me with wide eyes.
“I can fix you a drink if you want,” I said.
She came over to me. Her hair was still damp, but she’d tied it up. I’d make sure she dried it before I put her to bed. I snagged a hand around her waist and pulled her into me, resting my chin on the top of her head. She clung to me. Avery needed soft right now. Something tangible to hold onto.