by Sarah Bailey
The front door banged. Aiden was back. I shot out of bed and opened the door. He was covered in a sheen of sweat and holy fuck did he look hot as hell. His t-shirt clung to his muscles, moulding to his body.
His steel eyes roamed over me. I remembered what it felt like to have him in my mouth and the look in his eye as he came down my throat.
“We’re going out after I’ve showered so eat something,” he said before he strode into the bathroom.
He’d barely spoken to me after what happened. And for the first time, he didn’t hold me when we went to bed. I didn’t know how to take that. Something was off with him and it had everything to do with the forest. Did he regret it? Because I didn’t. No. I wanted more. I needed more.
I got dressed and made myself some food. I didn’t pay much attention when he moved from the bathroom to the bedroom. And when he came out, he looked pissed off.
“Shoes and coat on now and this time, we are going to film this video. Understood?”
I slipped off my chair and did as he said. Disobeying and arguing with him had only brought punishment. Admittedly I liked the lesson he dealt yesterday, but something about Aiden still terrified me. I didn’t want him to put me back in the cell when we returned to London. Staying in his good graces meant obeying.
We walked for a long time. He didn’t take me back to the woods. Instead, we found an empty field, still wet from the early morning dew. He pulled a small camera out of his pocket and handed it to me.
“In order to make this believable, it has to be filmed by your hand and you need to be fucking careful of what you say.”
“I know what you expect of me, Aiden.”
“Good.”
I’d thought long and hard about what to say. I didn’t want to disappoint Aiden. This was important. I held the camera up and pressed the button to record.
“Hello, my name is Avery Charlotte Daniels, but you probably know that. I know I’ve been gone for a while and for that I can only apologise. You see, when I discovered my parents were dead, the news hit hard. I didn’t want to be in the world any longer. So I disappeared instead. I’m sorry for making you worry about me. I’m sending you this message because I want you to stop looking for me. When I’m ready, I’ll come home and face the world, but for now, please know I’m safe.”
I paused, taking a breath as tears pricked at my eyes. The next part made me equal parts nervous and sick.
“Uncle Charlie, I know the company is in safe hands with you. To the boy I cared for, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but what we had was never meant to be. I hope you find someone who loves you in the way you deserve. Gert, I miss you and I’m sorry for being a shit friend by disappearing on you like this. And James, don’t let them give you too much shit, you know who I mean. Whatever happens, I love you always.”
I waved at the camera before I stopped the recording.
“There, happy now?” I asked, looking at Aiden.
His expression left me in no doubt he was the complete opposite of happy.
“Give me the camera.”
I walked over and handed it to him. He stuffed it in his pocket before taking my arm and dragging me back the way we’d come.
“Hey… I can walk by myself.”
“Do not test my patience, Avery.”
“What have I done wrong now? I did what you asked, didn’t I?”
He stopped, causing me to stumble. It was lucky he was holding on to me so I didn’t fall over.
“Done wrong? Who fucking said you did anything wrong?”
Aiden’s eyes were cold and full of repressed rage.
“Then why are you angry? Is… Is it because of what I said to James in the video?”
His nostrils flared, eyes growing darker. And I tried to take a step back.
“It’s fucking everything you do. Every fucking moment with you is fucking torture, do you know that?”
I shook my head, unable to quite comprehend what he’d just admitted to me. What did that mean?
He dragged me against him, crushing me to his chest before burying his face in my hair.
“Aiden, I don’t understand.”
“My whole life I’ve hated your family and everyone involved with them. I hate them so much, it’s hardwired into my blood. But then you came along, so fucking innocent and so unlike them on every level. And no matter what I fucking do, I can’t keep you at arm’s length when I should. I fucking should be able to. You have to stop pushing me too.”
I wrapped my arms around his back, clutching him. My heart ached. I had no idea how much I made him suffer.
“I want to hate you so much, but I can’t,” he continued. “I just fucking can’t. So tomorrow, we’re going back to London. I’m going to make sure the police see this video and we’re going to talk about your family properly.”
“Okay,” I said, my words muffled by his chest.
I felt in that moment if I said anything about his confession, things would escalate further. Too exhausted to deal with any more conflict between us.
We pulled away from each other. Aiden did the unexpected. He took my hand, entwining our fingers together. He didn’t drag me along with him. We walked at a steady pace.
When we got back to the cottage, he put a film on for me. Some stupid action flick, but I actually got to do something other than stare at the wall, so I didn’t complain. And he let me curl up with my head in his lap as he stroked my hair.
I felt for those few moments like things had gone back to normal, but I knew when we returned to London, things would never be normal again.
~~~
A quiet calm descended over the two of us on the way back to London. We stopped once because I was desperate for the loo, but the rest of the journey was silent, peaceful almost. As if Aiden and I had left the part of us banded in sorrow behind in Dorset. The illusion would be shattered soon. The truth would always cut through our desires. I knew that. The truth of who he was and what I’d been born into were iron bars holding us back from each other.
Too many secrets.
The truth would hurt.
Me.
Him.
And everything around us.
Returning to the flat made me wonder if Aiden would ever let me out again. He said he needed me to help him destroy my family. Did that mean he’d send me back out into the world when he successfully made me flip sides? How was he so sure I would? My feelings for him didn’t outweigh the rest, did they?
The questions nagged at me. I had a headache. Aiden disappeared into a locked room an hour ago and hadn’t emerged.
I had free roam of the flat now. I stood in the living room, staring out the window. The city loomed like a dark presence around my heart. The city holding secrets and lies hidden beneath its surface. Was I about to step into the darkness? Would I ever be able to see the sunlight again when I learnt the truth?
“I have to go out.”
His voice startled me. I looked back at him. In his hands was his laptop.
“There are some things you need to see.”
“More videos?”
“No. Just information. You can make your own mind up about it. Don’t try going on the internet. I turned it off. There is nothing here you can use to speak to the outside world. Understood?”
Trying to speak to anyone was the last thing I’d been thinking about. Didn’t he trust me after I made the video for him? I supposed he had to take precautions.
“I get it.”
He placed the laptop on the coffee table.
“I want you to go through what I’ve left open on there before I get back. I haven’t doctored any of it, but if you don’t trust me, that’s fine. I can’t force you to believe any of it.”
I didn’t think Aiden would do anything but show me the truth. Stupid fucked up girl. Trusting him. My feelings clearly clouded my judgement. Feelings I could neither turn off nor change. Aiden eclipsed everything. The
fucked up broken man in front of me. I saw him. He saw me. Behind all the walls we built up to survive.
“I’ll be back late.”
“Okay.”
He came around the sofa and stood before me. Taking my hand, he brought it to his lips and kissed my knuckles. I wished it was my lips. They tingled in anticipation. When Aiden finally kissed me, we would be lost. Nothing would stand between us. The tidal wave would crash over our souls, binding us together and we’d burn for each other. Destroy each other. All in pursuit of one thing. To silence the ache we both felt inside. To soothe the broken parts of our hearts.
Perhaps it was that knowledge which kept us apart. Which kept the wall up in place so we didn’t drown in each other.
“Don’t miss me too much.”
His tone was teasing but his eyes spoke volumes.
Don’t be scared.
Face the truth.
Do it for me.
Choose me.
Fight for me.
I wanted to. So fucking much.
“I’ll try.”
My tone was just as light.
I want you.
I need you.
I will try to fight for you.
For us.
He let go of my hand and walked out of the room.
Would there ever be an us? Or would it just be me falling at his feet and giving him my all?
Could Aiden ever be mine?
I shook myself. Thinking about the future was futile. I didn’t know what future he had in store for me. What I could do is educate myself about my family.
What had he left for me?
I sat down on the sofa and picked up the laptop. Tucking my legs up, I settled down with it. The first thing on the screen was a spreadsheet of some kind. There were a lot of figures. I read the headings.
Name. Payments in. Projects. Girls.
I scanned down the list. I recognised some of the names of the businesses. Each line showed a payment they’d made to an offshore account. Some of them corresponded to building projects and developments, some of them had girls names against them and others, both.
It dawned on me. I knew some of those developments. They’d been handled by our company. I felt sick. So sick. How could this be true? Had they really been accepting bribes? And the girls names? That part made no sense to me.
I checked the other documents Aiden left for me to look at. It soon became clear what girls meant. Girls owned by my family. Loaned out to their clients. I put my hand to my mouth. It noted they were gifts. The length of time they spent with a client depended on the sum of money donated. Donated? It wasn’t a fucking donation. Payoffs. Bribes.
Oh fuck.
Was this how we’d got so rich? Dirty money?
It was too much. All too fucking much. Our fortune tainted. My inheritance. I didn’t want it. None of it. Not if it came from this. An empire built on lies, sex trafficking and bribery. Worst of all, Aiden told me my family bought and sold people for longer than Daniels Holdings had existed. It could only mean one thing.
Slavery.
My heart couldn’t take it. My fucking soul burnt.
Anger.
Betrayal.
Disgust.
Sorrow.
Pain.
Waves and waves crashed over me until I felt like my body hurt all over and my mind wanted to shut down. Tears dripped down my cheeks.
I placed the laptop back on the coffee table. Its screen sat unblinking at me. Taunting me with the reality that my family were scum.
Greedy fucking scum.
I stood on shaky legs and made my way into the bedroom. I picked up a pencil, paper and the book Aiden left me. I took it over to the rug on the floor, sat down and started to draw.
Images of brutalised girls. Of men sitting in their gilded offices, laughing at the misfortune of others. Of fallen angels. Of people in chains. Of violence and destruction poured out from my hand onto the pages. Pages and pages of drawings until they littered the floor and covered the bed. I drew until my fingers throbbed.
My soul shattered to a million fucking tiny pieces on the floor.
I crawled under the covers, not caring about the paper everywhere. Aiden’s scent surrounded me. Soothing my aching heart.
I cried until I could cry no more.
And I fell asleep when exhaustion finally settled over me.
Chapter Fourteen
Aiden
I had too much to do. Those couple of days we spent away. The bliss I’d experienced having her submit to me. It was all fucking gone. I shut it out, buried it in the deepest part of me. Only there could it remain, nestled against my fucking useless organ beating in my chest. The one chaining me to misery and loathing. For her sake and for mine, it had to disappear.
I’d admitted too many things. Given her too many insights into my complicated soul. And worst of all, I’d lost control of myself in her. It couldn’t happen again.
My fucking weak point. That’s what she was. Unhinging me. Tearing me apart. Making me feel. Feelings weren’t welcome in the hellhole that was my soul. Not when they tangled themselves up with memories.
Memories.
~~~
Screams. More screams echoed through the flat. Tears ran tracks down my cheeks.
“Stop, please. Please.”
I crept along the hallway.
“Stop. It hurts. Please, not there.”
Louder. The screaming, crying, pain. It hurt my ears.
“Take it darlin’,” a gruff voice I’d never heard before grunted.
“Stop.”
“You missed me, didn’t you?”
His voice was accented. American.
“No, please.”
I peered around the doorframe. All I could see was a man with light brown hair, his back to me. In front of him, on hands and knees, she stared straight ahead. They were both naked. I could see exactly what he was doing.
“You always miss me. You can’t think about anyone but me because of what I gave you.”
“He’s nothing like you.”
He slammed into her. It wasn’t the place I saw other men doing this to her.
“Don’t lie darlin’. Every time you look at our son, you see me.”
My hand flew to my mouth. I backed away. Unable to listen any further. I ran. I ran back to my room, crawled into my bed and put my hands over my ears.
The man with my mother.
The man hurting her.
That man was my father.
~~~
I took a breath. One fucking long breath. I sat in the car, trying to ignore how much that fucking night broke something so deep inside me. So many memories. So much pain. Nothing to fill the void.
Nothing but her, a voice whispered to me.
No. I couldn’t let her have that power over me.
They were getting worse. The flashbacks. With her in my bed, I no longer dreamt, but having them invade my waking moments crippled me. Especially that one. It might not be the worst, but it was up there on the scale of fucked up things in my life. I could take down the Daniels empire. But that man, the one who gave me life. He was untouchable.
I slammed my hand down on the steering wheel. I locked my thoughts back up and shoved them in the pit of darkness where they festered. They belonged there.
Time for business.
I got out of the car, locked it and strode towards the cafe where I’d agreed to have this little meeting. If he reneged on our deal, he would pay the ultimate price.
It was four in the afternoon, but already dusk had fallen. Sat at a table near the back, pink hair glinting in the low light, Anthony fidgeted. I took a seat opposite him.
“Oh, you came,” he said.
“A deal is a deal.”
“Do you want anything?”
I shook my head. He took something out his shirt pocket and slid it across to me. A memory stick.
“Everyth
ing I could find is there. Both investigations, just like you asked.”
I slid it off the table and tucked it into my jeans pocket. He took a sip of his coffee, eyes darting around.
“I take it you didn’t tell him.”
“Whatever you think, I’m not stupid.”
“Unlike your boyfriend. You should really be more careful about who you get involved with.”
He glared at me but didn’t retaliate. I took out my own little task for him and dropped it next to his hand. Another memory stick. Next, I handed him a folded piece of paper.
“I expect you to destroy this when you’re done.”
I pointed at the paper.
“What is it?”
“Strict instructions. Follow them to the letter. I will know if you don’t. Trust me, I’m worse than the Daniels to people who double cross me.”
He put his hands up.
“Hey, I’ll do it. You don’t need to threaten me.”
“Wasn’t a threat. It was a promise.”
“Honey, you really need to chill.”
I rolled my eyes. ‘Chilling’ was not something I could afford.
“So, what do I do with this after?”
He tapped the memory stick.
“You destroy it too. Leave no trace. Understood?”
“None of this will lead back to me, will it?”
“As long as you follow the instructions, no.”
I made sure everything I did was untraceable. That included this. If he fucked up, it would be on him. It’s why I even involved a third party in the first place.
“What exactly is on this?”
“You’ll know soon enough.”
I got up, giving him a cold smile.
“Don’t disappoint me, Anthony.”
I left the cafe, turning back once to find him reading the instructions I’d given him. Gamble. Huge gamble. Had to be this way so she’d stay mine. Mine. A part of me wished I’d never laid eyes on her and the other, the fucking other wanted to bow to the connection between us. Give in.
I wouldn’t. All my fucking plans would go up in fucking flames. How could I make her do what she needed to if I let her in? Hardening myself, I got back in the car and drove home. The journey did nothing to calm the storm. I hadn’t allowed myself to think how she might feel about what I’d left for her to look at. As strong as she was, I kept breaking her further. Telling her the truth was a necessary evil.