by Sarah Bailey
But that was never an option for the two of us. Not with my plans. Ones I was aware I’d have to tell her about sooner rather than later. I hated myself for it. Fucking hated every part of it.
Avery wouldn’t forgive me. I wasn’t even sure she’d agree at this point. She cared about me. Told me she’d fight for me. Help me destroy her family. What she didn’t know is I wanted to take down more than just the Daniels. I was going to burn their empire to the ground and everyone involved. That meant going up against worse foes than just Chuck. So much fucking worse.
And I was about to throw Avery right in the middle of the lion’s den.
Come the new year, everything would change.
And this thing between the two of us might just be lost forever.
The thing I refused to admit or acknowledge.
Avery Daniels had something of mine and I had something of hers.
If she left me when I told her the truth, I’d fucking break.
I let her have power over me.
And the day I realised that was the beginning of the end.
Chapter Twenty Three
Avery
Aiden taking me to meet someone he considered family was a big deal to me. It showed me I was someone to him. I hadn’t really meant to tell him I felt like I was his toy. It just came out. My usual filter was wearing thin. My nerves fraying as I tried to work out what the hell he wanted me to do for him. He’d told me I’d hate him for it numerous times. There were things I hated about Aiden, but there were things I adored too. He was complicated. I didn’t want to change him. I wanted to make him happy. The deep-seated unhappiness inside him killed me. My heart bled for his. My stupid heart.
I lay staring at the ceiling in the darkness. Aiden lay next to me, his arm draped across my stomach. When I brushed the hair from his face, he didn’t stir.
It’d been a week since we’d gone to see Tina. All of the Christmas stuff arrived a few days ago. We’d spent a couple of hours decorating the living room together. I couldn’t reach the top of the tree, so Aiden had helped me. I knew we weren’t together, but it felt like we were a couple in those moments. I wasn’t going to kid myself into thinking I’d ever be Aiden’s girlfriend. A part of me craved it. The other part was realistic. I was just the girl he fucked because neither of us could stay away from each other.
There was no way I was getting to sleep with all this shit running through my head. I carefully moved Aiden’s arm from my stomach, checking to make sure he hadn’t woken up before I slipped out of bed and padded out into the living room. The Christmas tree lights twinkled. We’d set it up by the window.
I nabbed my hoodie off the sofa and shoved it on. It was a little chilly. In its pocket was the burner phone Aiden had given me so I could speak to James.
James.
I hated all the lies I’d fed him. It bothered me so much. I just wanted to strip them all away so we could go back to how we were before this happened. I checked the time. One in the morning. Would he still be awake?
I curled up in Aiden’s old leather armchair by the window, tugging the blanket I’d left there over my legs. I dialled James’ number.
“Hey Ave, bit late, isn’t it?” James said after he answered on the first ring.
“You’re still awake.”
“What’s up?”
I fiddled with the tassels on the end of the blanket.
“There’s some things I haven’t been honest with you about.”
“I gathered, but I didn’t want to push you with everything that’s happened.”
Not surprising. He always knew when I kept things from him. James and I knew just about everything there was to know about each other.
“It’s about Aiden… and me.”
“So there is something going on.”
“It’s not what you think. It’s not like we’re together or anything.”
“No? So he’s just fucking you? I fucking knew he’d taken advantage of you.”
The frustration in his voice was evident. How the hell was I going to explain this without going into detail about how we actually met? And whilst Aiden had done some fucked up shit to me, I’d wanted him. I’d pushed so hard, he couldn’t keep saying no.
“Don’t put this on him. He said no to me for weeks.”
“Wait a sec, are you telling me you went after him? Seriously? That’s not like you.”
“It’s complicated, but sort of.”
I shifted on the armchair. I’d known this would be a difficult conversation, but things needed to be said and I need my best friend to understand.
“Why are you being honest with me about this now?”
“Aiden can never know we’ve slept together.”
“Well, I wasn’t exactly going to going to come over with a banner saying ‘I’ve had sex with Avery’.”
“Ha-bloody-ha.”
Trust him to make light of it.
“Can I ask why not?”
“I don’t want him to hurt you.”
“Why the fuck would he do that?”
“You must’ve noticed he’s not exactly a sunshine and roses kind of guy.”
He snorted. Aiden was dangerous and that danger excited me on some level. Not to mention he considered me his. Anyone else touching me would be a complete no-no. Aiden wouldn’t hesitate to kill them. I’d seen the efficient way he’d killed my parents without remorse.
“Really? Can’t think why… not like the whole boxing bag, seriously insane muscles and tattoos gave it away or anything.”
I stifled a laugh.
“Were you checking him out?”
“What? No. Fuck off. I was trying to work out what you see in him. Not exactly your usual type.”
He wasn’t wrong. I couldn’t explain it. Aiden’s soul called to mine. The connection we shared made no sense. I shouldn’t want a man so fucked up and broken and he shouldn’t want the girl whose family killed his. And I was trying to ignore the glaringly obvious feelings we had for each other.
One day I’d stop lying to myself.
One day he’d admit to having them too.
“I have a type?”
“Yes, nerds.”
“Are you calling yourself a nerd?”
“Again, fuck off.”
I grinned.
“I just like Aiden, okay? I feel… free when I’m with him.”
“If you like him so much, why are you keeping secrets from him?”
He kept more than enough from me.
“Some things should be left in the past, James. It’s what we needed at the time and you’ve got other ways to cope now. We promised each other we’d never let it ruin our friendship.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I won’t tell him. You can trust me. Anyway, as much as I love talking to you, I’m fucking tired.”
“I’ll let you go.”
“Love you.”
He hung up. I wasn’t going to be able to sleep. Even though I’d sort of cleared the air with James, there were other things bothering me.
I got up from the armchair and walked over to where I’d covered the stuff I’d got for Aiden. I pulled away the sheet and there lay a canvas along with paints. He might not like surprises, but it wouldn’t be Christmas if I didn’t do something for him. He liked my art. It was the first thing which came to mind when I thought about what to get for him.
I set the canvas against the window. I didn’t have my easel, but this would do. I picked up a pencil and began sketching out the initial design. By the time I was done, my hand ached a little, but I was happy with my progress. I could start painting next.
I checked the phone. It was three in the morning. I tucked the canvas back where it’d been with the sheet over it.
When I turned around, Aiden was standing in the doorway in just his boxers watching me. I’d never get over how beautiful he was. His tattoos, everything about him.
“How long have you
been there?” I asked.
“Don’t worry, I didn’t see it.”
I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his back and pressing my face to his chest. He stroked my hair.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“You should’ve woken me up.”
“You looked peaceful. Didn’t want to disturb you. Besides, I know what your idea of helping me sleep would’ve been.”
“Are you saying you wouldn’t have liked it?”
I shook my head. He knew I wouldn’t say no to a workout session with him even though he’d more than satisfied me earlier in the day.
“No. This just gave me a chance to work on something without you peering over my shoulder.”
“Is that something for me?”
“Maybe.”
He leant down and nibbled my ear.
“I still don’t like surprises.”
“You’ll like this one.”
He spun us around and pressed me up against the wall. His mouth found my ear again.
“What I’d like right now is my cock in your tight pussy.”
And just like that, Aiden made me ache and grow wet with one sentence. I clenched my thighs together, heat pooling in my core. His fingers went to my shorts, tugging them down along with my underwear. He bit down on my earlobe when he pressed a hand between my legs.
“Always ready for me. You make me fucking crazy. All I can think about is you. How much I want you. Need you. Fuck.”
“Need me?”
“Yes, I fucking need you. You’re mine.”
He plunged two fingers inside me without warning. I cried out, hands clutching at his waist.
“Don’t you get it by now, Avery? Don’t you know how I feel?”
How he felt? He’d barely told me anything about his feelings other than his innate desire to stick his cock in me. Aiden was very vocal about that part. About all the ways he wanted to fuck me. But his real feelings? He was silent on those.
“No, I don’t.”
He pulled me away from the wall and walked backwards towards the sofa, tugging off his boxers in the process. He sat down and stared up at me.
“Sit on my cock.”
I straddled him and sunk down on his length, inch by inch. He grunted, tugging off my hoodie and t-shirt and running his fingers over my breasts. He leant down and sucked a nipple into his mouth. I gripped his shoulders, stifling a moan. He held my hips, encouraging me to ride him.
“So fucking beautiful. So fucking tight. So fucking perfect.”
I stared down at him. His eyes were full of heat.
“Tell me how you feel,” I whispered.
I was desperate to know now. Desperate to have confirmation it wasn’t just me. He reached up, holding my face in his hand as he ran his thumb across my lips.
“You’re my sun. You fucking glow like a beacon. Whenever you’re not with me, I’m fucking lost. I hate fighting with you, upsetting you. When I hurt you, it hurts me too. None of this makes any fucking sense, but I don’t care. I need you. Promise me you won’t leave. Promise me you’ll stay right here where you belong.”
My heart threatened to burst out of my chest. My nails dug into his shoulders. I read between the lines. I knew what he was trying to tell me but couldn’t. I knew because I damn well felt the same thing.
“I promise I won’t leave you.”
How could I leave when he had all of me? He held my entire life in the palm of his hands. He owned me.
I rode him harder, needing fall deeper into this fucked up pit of insanity I was in with him. He grunted, his fingers digging into my hips.
“Fuck, that’s it. Fuck me, Avery.”
I groaned, throwing my head back as one of his hands snaked between my legs and his fingers brushed over my clit. This was the part I couldn’t explain to James. The insane chemistry and connection between Aiden and me. We burnt for each other. Craved each other. I was about ready to throw away my entire life just so I could be by his side. Be what he needed me to be. His.
How the fuck did I end up feeling this way about the man who’d murdered my parents in cold blood?
The honest truth.
I’d already forgiven Aiden for doing it. I understood. My dad wasn’t a good person. I had no clue why he’d taken away my mother too, but some part of me knew there was a good reason. No matter how much it hurt, Aiden soothed away the pain. Every time he was inside me, I forgot about the shit in my life. I forgot my family were evil and corrupt.
I leant down, pressing my face into his neck. He thrust back, matching my movements.
“I’d do anything for you,” I whispered. “Not just because I’m yours. I want to.”
My fingers threaded into his hair.
“And I forgive you for what happened that night. It doesn’t matter why you did it any more. All I care about is you and me. Promise you won’t leave me either.”
His fingers brushed over my clit faster. I cried out into his neck as shockwaves radiated from my core. I came apart in his arms, just as I always did when he was inside me.
When my trembling subsided, he picked me up and carried me into the bedroom. He got on the bed and lay me down, whilst still remaining inside me. He gripped my hip and thrust into me, over and over.
“I promise,” he whispered against my neck. “I fucking promise.”
Aiden came and came fucking hard. He moaned my name, pressing his cock so deep, it almost hurt. I could feel each pulse and spasm radiate through me.
And then he collapsed on top of me, pinning me down on the bed with his weight. I lay there for several moments until it became harder to breathe. I pushed at his shoulder.
“You’re squishing me,” I squeaked.
He grunted before rolling off me, throwing his arm across his face. I slipped from the bed and went into the bathroom. I didn’t linger when I was done, hurrying back to the bedroom. Aiden hadn’t moved. I curled up against his side, running my fingers across his chest.
“Did I wear you out?” I whispered.
I looked over at the clock blinking on the bedside table. An hour had passed. It wasn’t the first time we’d had sex in the middle of the night.
“What happened between you and Chuck?”
I froze. Where the hell had that question come from?
“Um, what? Is that really what you’re going to ask me right after we’ve just fucked?”
He lowered his arm from his face. His grey eyes glinted, his expression serious.
“Yes and if you don’t answer me, I’m going to fuck you again until you do.”
“What kind of threat is that?”
“Just tell me, Avery.”
His fingers threaded in my hair, massaging my scalp. I looked down at his chest. I didn’t want to talk about my uncle. Especially not that incident. The one that made me hate him for life.
“Why? What difference does it make?”
“It makes a fucking difference to me.”
I guessed my time avoiding this conversation was up. The only person who knew this story was James other than the people who’d been there.
I traced the lines of one his tattoos.
“When I was twelve, he came into my room one day. I think he might have been drinking. Started asking me all sorts of weird questions. Like had I ever kissed a boy and what I knew about things adults got up to. For the record, my first kiss didn’t happen until I was sixteen.”
Aiden’s fingers tightened in my hair.
“He told me I was very pretty and that one day I’d grow up to be just like my mum. Which was stupid because I don’t really look like her.”
I felt funny telling Aiden this story. I knew he didn’t like my uncle even though he worked for him. This was only going to make it worse. Charlie had done the one thing I never expected him to and I would never forget it.
“He sat next to me on my bed, wrapped one arm around me and put his hand on my thigh. I did
n’t think anything of it until he nuzzled my neck. He told me I was old enough to understand now. It’s not like I didn’t know what went on between adults, it’s just I never thought my uncle wanted that from me. When he tried to touch me between my legs, I shoved him away from me.”
I’d known then what my uncle was trying to do. And it sickened me.
“Except he was a lot stronger than me. He pushed me down on the bed and pinned me there. Before he could push my dress up, I did the only thing I could. I kicked him in the balls. He got off me pretty quickly. I ran straight to my dad. From that day on, he was never allowed to be alone with me. I don’t know what my dad did or said. It never got spoken about again. All I know is my uncle likes little girls because he stopped looking at me that way after I went through puberty.”
Aiden didn’t say anything at all for several long moments. When I looked at his free hand, his fist was clenched. Tension and anger radiated off him, seeping into me.
“I’m going to kill that sick motherfucker. I’m going to do it slow so he’s in agony the entire time.”
I’d never heard Aiden speak with such venom, hatred and conviction. And the weird part? I wasn’t even upset about him wanting to kill my uncle. A part of me was glad he was going to take away Charlie’s life. The fact is, he’d tried to act out his sick obsession with kids with me and that was unforgivable.
Aiden sat up abruptly. My hand fell into his lap.
“You were just a fucking kid. Sick motherfucking cunt. I knew he had issues, but you’re his niece. Fuck. How could he fucking try that shit with you? He is a fucking dead man.”
I retracted my hand from his lap and placed it on his arm. It wasn’t so much I was surprised by his reaction. Aiden was a little overprotective when it came to me. It was the way his expression darkened and his eyes hardened to steel when he said he was going to kill Charlie. I knew that expression. It was the same one he’d worn when he’d killed my parents. Cold, calculating Aiden terrified me to my very core. I wanted the Aiden who looked at me like he was drowning in me when we fucked back.