by Sarah Bailey
“Because he was obsessed with her.”
The tone of his voice sent a shiver of dread down my spine. My father was obsessed with his mother. Of all the fucked up and terrible things I’d imagined, that was not one of them.
“What do you mean?”
“I won’t explain it. I told you, I don’t talk about her.”
“You can’t tell me my father was obsessed with her and then shut me out. That’s not fair.”
He shrugged my hand off his shoulder, stood up and walked away. Walked the fuck away from me. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to keep my racing heart in my chest. It burnt with pain. The sting of his refusal to say anything further bit into my skin.
“The truth is worse than you can ever imagine, Avery. It’s better that you don’t know.”
His voice came from behind me. I turned. He was standing by the window, looking out over the twinkling lights of the city. The photo was still in his hand at his side.
“And you just get to decide that, do you?”
“Yes.”
I stood on shaky legs. Not only had I endured the worst day possible from the confrontation with my uncle and the police, I was now faced with this. Him. Cold and unreachable.
Why had I gone through my dad’s desk? This would’ve never happened if I hadn’t found that photo.
“I don’t accept that.”
“You don’t have a fucking choice.”
I wanted to get angry with him, but I couldn’t. I was exhausted. He was being unreasonable and quite frankly, he could fuck off if he was going to behave like that towards me.
“We’re back to that now, are we? You know what, fine. I don’t have the energy to deal with you right now.”
I strode from the room. I no longer cared about dinner. All I cared about was getting out of these stupid clothes and going to bed. I shut the bedroom door behind me and tore off the blazer, throwing it on the floor. Next came my blouse followed by the damn restrictive pencil skirt. My bra joined them.
I knew very well it would wind him up further that I’d left all my clothes on the floor. The threat of his anger wasn’t enough to make me pick them up.
I crawled into bed. I hadn’t bothered to turn the lights on so there was nothing left for me to do but sleep.
I stared at the empty side of the bed where he’d normally be. I felt so fucking alone. My heart felt tight. My body ached with need. The need to be comforted. The need to feel him against me.
I was crazy over that goddamn man. I couldn’t live without Aiden, but right now, I couldn’t live with him either. Maybe it would be better if I went back to my own home. Perhaps we needed space from each other.
The thought of going back to my empty flat filled me with dread. I wasn’t safe there. I was only safe here, with him. Where he could protect me if anyone tried to come after me.
Now I’d gone back out into the real world, that was a very real possibility. What if my uncle decided he wanted me gone? I was a problem for him. I always had been and especially now I’d threatened him to keep him in line.
I waited, but Aiden didn’t come to bed. I hadn’t heard a peep from anywhere else in the flat. Had he even moved away from the window? Why did I even care when he was being such a dick?
Because you love him.
Thanks brain. Loving him was sometimes incredibly frustrating. He was so bloody stubborn and unyielding.
I rolled over and crawled out of bed. Not caring that I was only wearing skimpy knickers, I wrenched open the bedroom door and prowled the flat in search of him.
My assumption about him not having moved was correct. He stood staring out the living room window. For fuck’s sake, I really had no fucking willpower when it came to him.
I walked around the sofa and pressed myself against his back, wrapping my arms around his waist, my hands splayed out across his stomach.
“Aiden,” I whispered. “Please don’t shut me out. I love you so much.”
Chapter Eight
Aiden
Her whispered plea sent my pulse skittering. I hadn’t meant to get angry with her. I really hadn’t meant to shut her out. That fucking photo ruined everything. Reminding me of just how much I hated her father and all the things he’d done to hurt my mother. All the times he’d raped and beaten her whilst Kathleen watched.
Fuck.
I didn’t need reminders of those fucking awful memories. It killed me. Mitchell having a photo of her from a time when she was still innocent. Sixteen and fucking clueless. The fucker hadn’t even met her then. It would still be four years before he laid eyes on her. By that time, she’d already been raped, beaten and abused beyond what anyone should ever have to go through. And she’d had me.
~~~
“She keeps disobeying you,” the woman’s voice drifted down the hallway.
I opened my bedroom door a little wider, poking my head out. Mummy told me to stay in here, but I couldn’t help it.
“Then I’ll just have to remind her who her master is,” the man said.
“Please, Sir. I didn’t mean to do anything wrong,” Mummy whimpered.
She told me they weren’t meant to be here this evening. That this was her night to be with me, but they’d come knocking and she shoved me in my room before letting them in. I didn’t understand why she had these people here all the time. The ones who hurt her.
“Shut the fuck up. You will not talk unless spoken to,” the man shouted.
I heard the distinct sound of someone falling on the floor with a thump and a cry of pain. I clenched my fists. All they did was hurt her. Tina wasn’t here this evening. I had to take care of her when they were gone. I’d wipe away her tears.
Mummy didn’t deserve any of this. I vowed to be stronger for her. To make sure that one day, I’d avenge her. A stupid promise for a seven year old kid, but I’d do it anyway.
For her.
~~~
Avery clutched me tighter, reminding me she was on my side. That she loved me without conditions or restraints.
“I’m sorry, princess.”
And I was.
“I won’t ask any questions. I just need you.”
The claws pulled at me, but I shut down the past. Nothing would change it. What I had now was more important.
Her.
I pulled her arms from my waist and turned around. My eyes fell on her almost naked body. Fuck. Despite what just happened, my cock went hard at the sight of her. Fuck it. Her body called to me. Always did.
I tugged her towards me and my mouth crashed down on hers, stealing away anything she’d been about to say. I gave her no choice but to kiss me back. I touched her wherever I could, running my fingers across her skin. She made everything seem less crazy and fucked up.
“Ever since he saw her, he wanted her,” I told her between kisses. “She was twenty and I was three when they first met. It’d take another four years for everything to go to shit and then she was dead.”
Avery’s hands were on me, unbuttoning my shirt.
“Was she one of my family’s girls?”
“Yes, but she wasn’t like the others. Not after she had me.”
“Why?”
I cupped her breast, running my thumb over the nub. She gasped, arching into me. Touching her helped me talk about this.
“The man who raped her and gave her me, he made sure she was given more to raise me. Don’t ask me anything else about him.”
She pushed off my shirt and ran her hands over my chest. I shuddered.
“I know why Dad had to die, but not Mum.”
I wished I didn’t have to tell her this.
“She liked to watch the abuse.”
Avery froze, her eyes catching mine.
“That’s… oh god.”
“Shh, princess, concentrate on me. Listen to me and touch me.”
Slowly her body relaxed and her hands resumed their progress to my belt.
&n
bsp; “Good girl.”
I ran my fingers down lower and hooked them into her underwear, tugging them off. She stepped out of them, closer to me.
“I knew their voices, but I only discovered who they were after Chuck introduced me to them. That’s when I knew I had to destroy everything. They beat, abused and raped her whilst I was in the same flat. I heard it all. I saw it at times. Never saw your parents, but other men. I found evidence when I dug into her past with your father.”
She undid my belt and trousers, pushing them off my hips. Her fingers ran over my cock. It jumped in her hold. Fuck. I needed in her. Needed her to take the painful memories away.
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, princess. Now you understand why I couldn’t allow them to live.”
She nodded. I tucked my hands under her bum and hoisted her up onto my hips. She wrapped her legs around me. I turned, pressing her against the window as I kissed her again.
“I fucking need you so much, Avery. You make it better.”
“Then fuck me and let me take your pain away.”
I reached between us, pulled out my cock, kicking off my boxers and sunk into her. Fuck. She felt so good. Wet and hot. She moaned when I thrust inside her, not giving her much time to adjust.
“Princess, fuck. I can’t begin to tell you how much you mean to me.”
She grabbed a hold of my face and kissed me like she was drowning in me. I pounded into her harder.
“There’s something else you should know.”
Her doe eyes were wide.
“What?” she asked.
“One day, the man who gave me life might come after me and by extension, you. I’ll protect you, but you can’t trust anyone but me and your friends, okay?”
She nodded. I expected her to ask me why, but it seemed she’d taken what I said about not asking questions about him seriously. It was when I investigated my mother, I discovered who he really was and that knowledge kept me up at night for weeks afterwards. If it came to it, I’d tell her for her own safety, but right now, we only needed to worry about her family and the Shaws. They were our priority.
I buried my face in her neck, breathing in the scent of coconut. Fuck, she smelt amazing. Always did. Her fingers threaded in my hair, her other hand clutching my shoulder.
“Harder,” she moaned.
I’d never fucked a girl against a window before. Lucky we weren’t near the ground floor, but if anyone looked up, they’d be able to see what I was doing to her. Possibly not such a brilliant idea.
I pulled her away from it and carried her towards the sofa. I shoved her down on it and settled between her legs. Slipping inside her heat, I stared down at her. Beautiful. Precious. This girl really was everything to me.
“Princess, I… fuck… Avery, I love you.”
She froze. The shock in her face told me she wasn’t prepared for me to say it.
“You… I… Oh.”
She looked away from me, fear flashing across her features. Why the hell was she scared?
“Aiden… I need to tell you something.”
It was my turn to freeze. What the fuck? Why would she be acting like this the moment I tell her I love her? She’d told me I could take my time, but I needed to say it. I had to get it out.
“I don’t want to keep this from you anymore.”
“Keep what? Avery, what’s going on?”
Her eyes met mine.
“I love you so much. I’m so happy you feel the same way, please don’t think I’m not.”
I cupped her face. What was she so afraid of?
“Please, don’t. I know this really is the worst possible time. I’m so sorry, Aiden.”
Now I really was fucking concerned. I pulled away from her. She scrambled back and tucked her legs into her chest.
“Princess…”
She put a hand up.
“I have to get this out. I have to…”
Horror and abject misery crossed her face.
“You’re going to hate me and him.”
Him?
“How do I even explain this? I told myself I’d never reveal this to you, but it’s so unfair of me. Do you remember when I told you not to ask me about my friendship with James?”
The world stopped. My heartbeat pounded in my ears. I knew what she was going to tell me and I didn’t want to hear it. I’d suspected for so long, but now, now I didn’t want my suspicions confirmed at all.
“For two years, James and I… We used to sleep together before I dated Peter.”
My fists clenched. How the fuck could she keep this from me?
“The pressure of our families and everything else got to us. Gert didn’t understand. We only had each other to talk to and talking sometimes wasn’t enough. It just happened and then it kept happening. I don’t know why or what the hell we thought we were doing but it’s how we coped.”
I got up, pacing away. I couldn’t look at her.
“I’m sorry. I know I should’ve told you. I didn’t want you to get angry with me or him. It’s in the past. It stopped six months ago. I promise.”
Three months before we met. She might not want me to be angry, but I was. Pissed off that she’d kept such a vital piece of information about their friendship from me.
“You said there were three. Who were the other two?”
“A stupid drunken night with a boy I met in Jamaica and a boy from school. Both only happened once.”
Did she not understand what that meant? The most significant man in her life had been and was still her best friend.
“Never had a boyfriend, Avery? That’s fucking bullshit. What the fuck else do you call your relationship with him?”
I heard her get up from the sofa.
“It wasn’t like that.”
“No? You’re deluding yourself if you think that wasn’t a relationship between you. I’ve seen the way you are together. I’m not stupid or blind.”
“It wasn’t about sex. It was just about the need to feel close to someone when all else seemed like it was falling apart. I needed someone. He needed someone.”
I turned on her. Fuck. Her eyes filled with tears. Her body language told me she was sorry and in no small amount of emotional pain.
“And you think it’s okay to fucking tell me this now? Right after I told you something I’ve never said to anyone before.”
This entire day had been fucking shit for both of us and tonight made it so much worse. I strode towards her, taking her by the shoulders and shaking her.
“I love you, Avery. I love you so fucking much. Do you understand that?”
She nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks.
“Why would you keep this from me?”
“I didn’t want you to hate me or hurt him,” she sobbed.
Hurt him? Why the fuck would I do that?
“You thought I’d hurt him for something you did before we even met? What the hell kind of person do you take me for?”
Then I saw it. She was terrified of me. She might love me, but she was scared of how I’d react to things. Scared of me blowing up at her. And I hadn’t given her any reason to think otherwise.
I released her, taking a step back and putting a hand to my mouth. I kept telling her I’d hurt anyone who touched her. I’d made her fear me since the day we’d met. Fuck. How could I ever make her trust me fully? No wonder she hadn’t told me. Fuck. I hated myself so much. I knew having a relationship with someone was going to be almost impossible for me, but this, this was much worse than I ever imagined.
I ruined us before we even started.
I destroyed us the moment I took her parents lives.
The moment we fucking met.
Why had I been stupid enough to think this wouldn’t end badly? I wasn’t capable of being the sort of man she needed. I thought I could make up for what I’d done to her. All I did was bring her more pain and misery.
“You’re scared of me.”
She frowned, tears still falling down her cheeks.
“What?”
“You. You’re scared of how I’ll react to things. That’s why you keep things from me.”
“I’m not.”
“You would’ve told me the truth before, so yes, you are.”
She closed the distance between us, reached up and tugged my face down to her level.
“I’m scared of the side of you which takes lives without a second thought. The cold, calculating side.” She pointed at my chest. “But you, Aiden, I’m not scared of who you are in here. I know you. I trust you. I love you.”
And then she captured my mouth in hers. My body bent to her will. I tugged her into my arms, holding her against me. Fuck, she felt so right. I might never be the man she deserved, but I was the one she chose. I vowed then to try to be worthy of the trust she bestowed on me.
Pulling her down on the sofa with me, she straddled my lap and sunk onto my cock. Despite our fight, I was still rock hard and she was deliciously wet. Our discussion about her revelation was far from over, but sex always brought us back to each other.
“I love you,” she whispered, rising and falling on me at an increased pace.
I gripped her hips, encouraging her to keep going.
“I love you too.”
Now I’d said it once, the words fell from my lips easily. I adored, worshipped and loved the ground she walked on. Avery was mine. I wouldn’t let her go no matter what we’d done in the past nor what was to come in the future. She was the one. My soul and hers were right for each other. Whatever decreed that I neither knew nor cared. With her was where I belonged.
Neither of us spoke again. She rode my cock harder, her fingers gripping my shoulders. My fingers trailed up her inner thigh. I knew her body. What made her tick. How to give her the most satisfying climax. The subtle ways she’d taught me to read her. Just as I had taught her what pleased me.
Avery was the only girl I enjoyed vanilla sex with. The deeper I fell in love with her, the less I needed the restraints. I had her submission and that was more important than tying her down.
Her head fell back when I strummed her clit, a soft moan escaping her lips. Fuck. Seeing her lost in me was always such a fucking turn on. I thrust back against her. I wanted her to let go and give into the sweetest ecstasy. And when she did finally come, she panted, her body trembling and clenching around me. I let myself go with her. Needing to find the heaven she floated in.