by Sarah Bailey
She raised her head from my shoulder and looked at me.
“No more bloodshed. I can’t face it. No more death. I want them destroyed but not like this.”
I cupped her cheek. She looked so lost and alone.
“Okay. We’ll find another way.”
After everything she’d been through, I couldn’t say no. I was tired of it all too. We had to end it so we could live a normal life together. So I could care for her for the rest of our days. Avery might never get over killing Tristan, but I’d be there for her all the same.
“Are you sure? I understand why you want them gone. I really do, but more death isn’t the answer. No matter what we do, it won’t bring anyone back. Haven’t we had enough pain, Aiden? Haven’t we suffered enough? Haven’t you?”
Her words dropkicked me right in the chest. She was right. I had. And now, so had she.
I stroked her cheek.
“I’m sure, but I’m not going to make you any promises because we can’t predict what will happen. That night is proof we can’t account for everything.”
She reached up, placing a hand on mine.
“I know. Thank you for understanding.”
I stared into her eyes, hoping this meant she was back, but nervous she wasn’t all the same.
“You’re not going to disappear on me again, princess?” I whispered.
She shook her head.
“I don’t want to live like that. I’m trying… for you… for us. It hurts. It’s like there’s a black mark on my soul and I can’t rub it off. I don’t know if this guilt will ever go away. I’m so sorry I dropped out on you. I didn’t know how to handle what happened. I didn’t know what to think, say or do. It’s like a part of me died that night. I feel so broken, Aiden. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to make it better. My soul is crying out for something and I don’t know what.”
She clutched my hand on her face.
“Please help me. I don’t want to feel like this. I shouldn’t have shut you out. You’re the only one who understands. You know me better than I know myself. You know what I need.”
I leant forward, capturing her mouth in mine. I understood her. She needed me. That’s what her soul was calling out for. Me. I could feel it. I took her pain away. I always had. Even if I didn’t want her to be reliant on me in the way she had been when we first met, I had to give her what she needed. I’d build her back up to the girl she’d been before this all happened. The one who possessed an inner strength unlike any other girl I’d met.
She sighed into my mouth, pressing closer. I dropped my hand from her face to her throat, holding her in place with a loose grip. Pulling away, I pressed kisses to her jaw until I met her ear.
“I’m going to give you exactly what you need,” I told her in a low voice. “What you’ve always needed. You want my control, don’t you, princess? You want me to take away all your choices. You want to submit. Give me everything. Every part of you. Even the darkest parts of your soul are mine.”
I bit down on her earlobe, eliciting a mewl from her lips.
“Yes, please. I’m yours. I’m all yours.”
I almost groaned in anticipation of being inside her. Her submission was everything to me. To us. The desire to have her at my mercy never really went away. It pulsed in my veins. She might be my wife now, but I still needed this side of our relationship. I always would.
“I want you on your knees on the bed. You won’t be able to run. So tell me now if you want to stop.”
“Please, Aiden. Please, I want you. I need you.”
“On the bed then.”
I released her throat. She crawled off me and knelt on the bed with her back to me, her hands resting by her sides. I got up, going to the cupboard and selecting a set of restraints I’d never used on her before. I walked back over to the bed and made her stand up as I slipped both sections up her legs until they rested on her upper thighs. Settling her back on the bed, I wrapped the next part around her waist and attached her wrists to the cuffs, securing them to the sides of her hips.
I put a hand on her lower back, forcing her to take her weight on her shoulders with her face half pressed into the covers, which she turned to the side so she could breathe. This left her open for me. Open but restrained. Fuck she looked so beautiful bent over like that for me.
“Is this what you wanted, princess?” I asked, running my hand over her behind. “You want to be tied up and fucked?”
“Please, please fuck me. I want you so much. All of you. Everywhere.”
“Everywhere, hmm?”
She wriggled.
“Fuck me, Aiden. Fuck me in both my holes. Please.”
Fuck. I stroked my cock. She was so fucking beautiful with a dirty mouth. I’d taught her to let go of her inhibitions. So she wouldn’t be ashamed or scared of telling me what she wanted.
“Don’t worry, you’re going to get all of me. I promise.”
I’d selected another thing from the cupboard. I picked it up off the bed and ran it across her wet pussy.
“I’m going to make sure you’re satisfied completely. You want both? You’re going to get both.”
I flicked the cap off the lube and coated the plug before pressing it to her. I was careful, slowly inserting it so as not to hurt her. She moaned as it stretched her.
“Please, oh fuck, please.”
When it was fully inside her, I moved closer and ran my cock along her pussy. She wriggled against me. I could tell she was desperate for more. She needed this. So I gave it to her. I sunk my cock in her pussy. It was that much tighter because of the plug nestled in her arse.
“This is what you wanted. No mercy, princess. None at all.”
I gripped the harness at her thighs and thrust inside her to the hilt before pulling back and slamming into her again. Fuck she felt incredible. She clenched around me, moaning as her hands flexed at her sides.
“Please, please, Aiden, fuck me harder. Harder.”
I gave her what she begged for. The pace was brutal and completely unforgiving. Her moans got louder. Sweat beaded on her back, coating her delicate skin in a light sheen. Not having her in over two weeks made it almost impossible to hold back, but I did it for her. I ignored the tightening in my stomach. I thought about how much she needed this from me.
“Fuck, you’re going to come for me. I want to feel you all over me,” I grunted.
She was the most intoxicating girl I’d ever fucking met. And she was mine. Fuck. I was going to lose complete control.
“Now, Avery. Fucking come for me now.”
I thrust harder and deeper, feeling her pulse and clench around me as she cried out, screaming my name. Fuck. I let go, emptying everything I had to give inside her delicious heat.
I panted hard, stroking a hand down her back as I stilled. She stared up at me, her doe eyes wide with lust and complete adoration. Fuck. Even though I’d just come, it wasn’t fucking going down. I was still half hard for her. I needed more and I was pretty sure she did too.
I pulled out the plug, discarding it beside us. Picking up the lube, I pressed more inside her. She watched me, not saying a word when I shifted out of her and slicked my dick up further, stroking it in her eyeline so she could see what she did to me. Her tongue darted out, running across her bottom lip.
“More, princess?”
“Please,” she whispered. “Please take my pain away.”
A few minutes later, my cock was rock hard again and I pressed it against her other entrance. It slid in easily given I’d already opened her up with the plug. I grunted at the heat and tightness. Fuck. She always felt so good here.
I wasn’t rough, taking my time as I fucked her slow and deep. She groaned, pressing back against me as much as she could in the restraints.
“That’s it, princess. Show me you want me.”
“I do. I want you so much. Always. Please, I want to come again.”
“Oh, don’t worry, my love. I’ll make you come all over my cock.”
She looked up at me. I’d never called her that before, but at that moment, it just felt right. I leant over her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you too, princess.”
Chapter Thirteen
Avery
Wrapped up in Aiden’s arms, I felt a sense of belonging which I hadn’t felt in two and a half weeks. I hadn’t really noticed the time passing, so lost in my own self misery. When I told him I had a black mark on my soul, I meant it. I’d killed to protect myself. To protect us. If Tristan had managed to force me into having sex with him, raped me, I don’t think I’d have ever come back from it. That would’ve destroyed Aiden and me.
But could I ever live with myself after I’d killed him?
Tristan wasn’t a nice person. He was fucked up in the head.
Did that mean he deserved to die?
Probably not.
I didn’t have the right to decide who lived or died. But it had happened and I couldn’t take it back. Self-preservation kicked in, forcing me to do the unthinkable.
The images of his shocked expression branded themselves on my retinas, causing my heart to ache. Tears sprung to my eyes. Would this guilt ever go away? When I’d been lost in my own misery, I hadn’t really felt much, but now, it all came crashing down on me once again. Tearing my insides to shreds. No matter how much I tried to justify it to myself, I’d still taken a life. And that was unforgivable.
Aiden kissed the top of my head, stroking my back as my tears leaked out of my eyes. I couldn’t hold back the pitiful sob which followed.
“It hurts,” I cried.
“I know, princess,” he said, his voice soft and soothing. “I’m here. I’ve got you. It’s okay. Just let it out, okay?”
I nodded against his chest. I clutched him tighter, sobbing onto his bare skin. If he minded, he didn’t say anything. Aiden had become my sole source of comfort since the day we’d met. The day he’d held me and let me cry on his chest after he’d killed my parents. We’d been on a collision course from the time our eyes met until we’d finally given in. I should’ve known back then just how much trouble I was in. How much of a mess my life would become. How every step, every action had led us to this.
“I didn’t mean to kill him. It all happened so fast,” I sobbed. “I just wanted to stop him.”
“I know it hurts, but you’re so strong, Avery. You were so brave that night. So fucking brave. You could’ve given in, but you didn’t.”
He released me only to take my face in both his hands, staring at me intently.
“I’m not supposed to say this, but I’m so fucking proud of you.”
“You are?” I sniffed.
“You fought so hard. You’ve already been through so much shit and yet, you refused to give up.”
I reached over, placing my hand on his heart.
“Because I have something to fight for.”
And that was the honest truth. I wasn’t just fighting for myself, I was fighting for him. I wanted to help him destroy it all. Aiden deserved so much better than what he’d been lumped with in life. I knew he’d done a lot of bad shit, but loving someone was about accepting them, flaws and all. That was the thing. I had always loved him without conditions.
He told me what he’d done to Frazier. I knew exactly what he’d said. That night, rather than bottling it all up, we’d shared our mutual experiences. I’d sobbed on his chest just like I’d been doing now. My heart was still in tatters on the floor. I didn’t get mad about him telling Frazier I was his whore because it wasn’t true. I only had to look in Aiden’s eyes to see that. I only had to remember our wedding day and how he’d cried in my arms at my private declaration of love.
“I didn’t just do it for me, I did it for you. For us,” I whispered. “I killed for you, Aiden.”
His silver eyes darkened. He leant down and kissed me. The gentlest of kisses which seemed to go on forever before he leant his forehead against mine.
“I know you did,” he whispered across my lips. “I don’t want you to do it again. I don’t want you to suffer any more pain. You’re my light. Don’t forget that. Don’t ever turn yourself out again. You hear me?”
I nodded. I could never forget that. He told me not to turn myself out and I had. I’d fallen into some sort of catatonic state where everything around me just faded away. Even him. I’d known he was there and trying to talk to me. I’d heard him beg me to say something. The Avery he loved was locked inside, screaming to get out. Crying out for him. Desperately needing the man who gave her everything.
Tears fell down my face all over again. I reached out, cupping his face with one hand.
“You have no idea how sorry I am for the past couple of weeks.”
“It’s okay, you’re back now. I have you right here.”
“No. It’s not okay. You needed me too. Where was I? Wallowing in my own self misery. You did so much for me. You made sure it couldn’t be traced back to us without me asking. You knew what I needed that night and since then, you’ve been taking care of me even though I’ve been a shit wife to you. I’m so sorry and at the same time, I’m so grateful. Do you have any idea how much I appreciate you? You think you’re not a good person, but you are. At least you are to me. I don’t care what anyone else says or thinks. I love you so much, Aiden. I can’t live without you. I have no idea what I would do if you weren’t here. I’d have lost myself completely.”
He kissed me again, wiping away my tears with his thumb.
“It’s very simple, princess. I’d do anything for you because I love you. I promised to protect you and I meant it.”
I buried my face in his chest, sobbing my heart out all over again. He just held me and stroked my hair. When I was all cried out, he told me he was taking me out and I wasn’t allowed to object. I hadn’t left the flat since we got home that night. I wasn’t sure it was a good idea to be seen together, but I kept quiet as I got dressed.
If Aiden thought it would do me good, then I was going to go along with it. I had to remember I needed to stay in the present. And I’d do that for him after everything he’d done for me.
~~~
Walking into the office, I felt a sense of trepidation. I’d been away for three weeks. I knew Uncle Charlie would ambush me the moment I got in, but what I was not expecting was to find him and Ed waiting in my office.
I walked in, shrugging off my coat and hanging it up on the hook before having a word with John and asking him to wait outside. I sat down at my desk and levelled my gaze on both of them.
“How are you feeling?” my uncle asked.
“I’m okay, thank you.”
He and Ed gave each other a look before turning back to me. I eyed them warily. What did they want?
“Was what happened to the Shaws part of your grand plan?”
I took a deep breath. This was always going to come up, but I wasn’t sure when my uncle had decided to confide my secret to Ed. It aroused my suspicions further.
“What makes you think I had anything to do with that?”
“Well, you tell me, Avery. You said you were getting engaged to Tristan to find dirt on Frazier and then low and behold less than a week later, both of them are dead.”
I tried not to flinch. The memory of that night came flooding back. Images of Tristan lying dead on the bed flashed before my eyes. I blinked them away.
“I don’t know what happened. It’s like I told you, I came down with the flu that night. I could barely get out of bed. What else do you want me to say?”
“Then why the fuck are the police raiding his office?”
I sighed. That had been my fault admittedly, but I wasn’t going to tell him about it.
“Why? Concerned about what they might find?”
Ed’s eyes darted between me and my uncle. He’d not seen us interact
much recently. Didn’t know how strained our relationship was.
“Why would I be concerned?”
I sat back, drumming my nails on the desk.
“Well, if you were, there’s no need. Shaw Associates no longer represents Daniels Holdings.”
They both stared at me, eyes wide.
“What?” Ed asked.
“As of six weeks ago, we moved everything in house to our own legal department. The board signed off on it.”
My uncle slammed his hand down on my desk.
“Why the fuck did you not think to inform me of this?”
I shrugged.
“I didn’t think I had to.”
It’d taken me a week to convince Frazier it would be a conflict of interest having his firm represent us if he was going to be family. I wanted a clean slate. To be honest, I think he agreed because he thought it was the only way he’d get his hands on my money. Idiot.
“Fuck. You could’ve fucking well told me. I wouldn’t have spent the past week trying to find out what the fuck the police had found.”
“Well, sorry. I didn’t think it was that important. I mean, you don’t get involved with the legal department.”
The thing is, even though everything had reverted back to our own legal department, I’d known Frazier would’ve kept his own personal records on Daniels Holdings in his home. That’s why when I found all that shit on his computer, I’d erased it so when the police searched it, they’d find no trace of anything related to my company. The rest I didn’t care about. They could dig up all the dirt they wanted on everyone else. Daniels Holdings was in the clear until I decided to reveal the truth.
“It’s fucking important, Avery.”
I didn’t think he’d get this pissed off about it. Honestly, I thought he’d be happy Frazier didn’t have his hands on our legal paperwork any longer. My uncle looked at Ed again, his eyes narrowing.
“So you really don’t have any idea what happened to Tristan and Frazier?” Ed asked.
“Other than what’s in the news? No. The police haven’t spoken to me yet. Don’t know what Susan told them.”