by Cat Miller
He was ready to make a choice that would change the course of his life. It was ironic that the reason he’d initially rejected Dani was now the only thing making him pause before entering a deeper relationship with Lindsay. Only now, Kayden couldn’t see himself turning away from Lindsay for any reason. Not even her inability to give him children. He believed this was the sacrifice Leann had warned him about. They wouldn’t be the first couple without offspring. It was a huge sacrifice, but he was willing to make it. He’d expected some argument from his parents, given he was their only child and the heir to the chieftain, but he hadn’t gotten one. Gage and Koren had looked at each other as if they understood something Kayden was missing before congratulating him on his coming mating. His mother was over the moon and hoping for a big reception. The son of the chief deserved all the pomp and circumstance befitting his position. Kayden suggested they wait until Lindsay was a little easier around vampires. They would celebrate when Lindsay was ready. That was if she would even have him.
If the last weeks had taught Kayden anything, it was that he needed Lindsay. She was it for him. Lindsay was the strongest female he’d ever known, and he wanted her to be his in the most permanent way possible. He’d have to work to deserve her. Lindsay wouldn’t see it that way. She thought she was damaged and somehow less than worthy. That was the first thing Kayden had to change.
Kayden’s biggest worry was that Lindsay wouldn’t want him once she got past her fear of the new world she now lived in. She needed the freedom to live a little and adjust to her new body. She needed time to learn about their people, too. Kayden wanted to give that to her, but what if she never looked back? It would crush him. Kayden’s inner caveman wanted to be a bastard and claim his female as his mate as soon as possible. He wanted to tie them together forever, and then he’d be there to help her learn about her physical abilities and to make sure she was safe while she explored the world. Kayden frowned. Yup, he was a selfish bastard. No matter how badly he wanted to secure his place in Lindsay’s life, he had to give her time. She needed to choose Kayden. He didn’t want her to feel railroaded, even if he wanted to railroad her. He would confess his heart to Lindsay and pray that she felt the same way.
“I don’t know what to do, Dad. She’s been so sick. She was hurt, abused, and worse. I’m afraid to let her out of my sight. Even now I’m a wreck worrying about how she’s coping alone.” It wasn’t easy to admit to weakness, but this was his father and Kayden knew Gage wouldn’t judge him. “She thinks she’s unworthy of my attention. Like she’s damaged and I couldn’t possibly want to be with her.”
“I know what the female suffered. I read the reports. That girl’s been through hell, but she’s still here to tell the story. Let her decide what she can and can’t handle. Don’t be just one more person who took away her free will. She’ll come around when she’s ready if you’re the male for her. What are you going to do about her feelings of inadequacy? You must address those misconceptions.”
“All I can do is love her enough for both of us until she remembers how to love herself again.” Kayden shrugged. He knew Lindsay was more than his match. In time, she would realize it as well. “It’s not going to be easy.”
“You know your mother didn’t just fall into my arms, right? I was an arrogant prick.” Gage smiled to himself, unashamedly proud of his younger self. “She was younger than I, and I thought my stunning good looks and position in society was all I needed to get the girl. Well, let’s just say Koren made me work for it.” Gage gazed off into the distance, as if he was looking back in time.
Kayden had never heard this story. He’d never imagined a time when his parents weren’t together. Of course, they hadn’t always been. His mother was half his father’s age. She must have thought of him as an old man. Kayden couldn’t imagine life with someone that much older than him.
“I had to fight for Koren’s love. I had to do the unthinkable, and humble myself before her at a time when I thought I was above such a deed. I was the mighty Gage Paris, the defender of the nation, the leader of the warrior masses, but none of that mattered when it came time to win the heart of a female who wasn’t after wealth or status. I was terrified,” Gage admitted. “She was the greatest challenge of my life and I was so afraid I’d fail. I was falling for her but she wasn’t impressed by me. At least I didn’t think she was at the time. The female had a damn good poker face for someone so young.
“God places the greatest rewards on the opposite side of terror. On the other side of your maximum fear are the best things in your life,” Gage told Kayden as they watched Koren walk toward them with an armload of freshly washed and pressed fatigues for Kayden to take with him when he returned to South Carolina. Gage had always been a hard man. He was tough as steel and stronger than any diamond. Gage’s one weakness was his mate. Koren Paris could melt that steel and crush diamonds with one look at her mate. It had always been that way. As a younger man, Kayden couldn’t understand that kind of love. Now? Well, now was an entirely different story, wasn’t it?
“Did that come from the Bible?” Kayden asked his father about that insightful speech he’d just given.
“No. Will Smith,” his father replied with a grin. “He said it about his fear of skydiving or something. It was a ‘you have nothing to fear except fear itself’ kind of thing. I saw it on Facebook.”
Kayden lost it. His head fell back and he laughed so hard his sides hurt. His one-hundred-and-seventy-five-year-old, hard-ass of a father had just quoted Will Smith. His father was on Facebook? Kayden’s mind was blown.
“You laugh, but the man makes a valid point. I almost lost your mother last year.” Gage cleared his throat. It was difficult subject for Gage discuss. “There’s nothing like the fear of loss to remind you that you still have work to do. You should never stop dating your mate. Don’t get lazy and think they know how much they mean to you. The effort will make all the difference in a good mating.”
Koren had been at the Enclave when David and the Shade army invaded. Gage and most of the warriors, including all of the Wrath guard, had been responding to the attack and fire at the council hall. Koren had been beaten so severely that she was nearly unrecognizable. She’d been punished for being Gage’s mate. Gage blamed himself for leaving the Enclave under-protected. It was a classic diversion maneuver planned by Darren, one of the oldest and most experienced Wrath guards in service. Darren traded sides and joined the rogue. Ironically, Darren died protecting Dani. Kayden hadn’t been the only warrior affected by Dani. Sheena didn’t like anyone who distracted Abel or David. So she tried to kill Dani. Darren took a tree limb through the chest that was meant for her.
“Your mother almost died, and I would have died with her if she hadn’t come home to me. Losing her or you are my greatest fears. I just got her back to full health when she dropped a bomb on my head.” Gage ran his big hand through his hair, which was still dark with just a touch of gray at the temples.
“What bomb?” Kayden’s heart shuddered. Had his mother suffered some lasting effects from her attack? By God, Kayden would kill David with his bare hands, whether the male had been aware of his actions or not. The man was already on thin ice after what he’d done to Lindsay. Only the council’s ruling in David’s favor had kept David safe until now.
“I probably shouldn’t tell you this. Koren wants to wait until things progress a bit more before making it public, but you’re our son and you should know that you’re going to be a big brother. Your mother is expecting,” Gage informed Kayden with an anxious smile.
Kayden’s jaw hit the floor. His mother was having a baby. He blinked rapidly and tried to absorb this shocking news. Kayden might not ever have children of his own, but he would have a sibling to dote on and love.
“You look like I feel, boy. We didn’t have any more children after you because your mother had a rough pregnancy and labor. We’d planned on more than one, but we were grateful for you. You were enough for us. Your mother did try to convinc
e me to try again when you were a teenager, but I wasn’t receptive. I couldn’t bear seeing her go through that again. Now that you’re grown and left her nest empty, your mother is over the moon to have another baby. I’m terrified of losing her. Fuck! What if she’s too weak? What if she hemorrhages like she did with you and we can’t save her?”
Gage cursed and walked a few paces away before turning. “I’m facing my biggest fear, Kayden, but on the other side of this, if I still have my mate and I get the honor of raising another child just like you, I will have been blessed beyond measure.”
Gage hugged Kayden in one of those super manly, back pounding hugs. Kayden wasn’t sure if his father was trying to comfort Kayden or himself.
“I always thought I was a disappointment to you,” Kayden confessed when he stepped back. “I didn’t exactly turn out to plan.”
“Boy, I couldn’t be more proud of you. No, you didn’t follow the path I laid out for you. You’re your own man. You blazed your own trail. Some vulnerable people needed protection and a leader, and you stepped up to the plate. You are teaching a whole new generation of hybrid soldiers what it means to be a warrior. You walk into deadly situations ahead of your men. How could I not be proud to call you my son?”
Kayden’s throat tightened. His father was proud of him. His mother was healed and having a baby. Kayden never would have believed anything could ever frighten his formidable father, but Gage did have fears. Life was unrecognizable from what it had been just a few short years ago.
“My point is that life is insane and you never know what will creep out of the ether to blindside you next. If you shy away from experiences because you’re afraid things won’t turn out the way you hope, you’re going to miss out on the best life has to offer.”
“What has the two of you looking so serious?” Koren asked as she approached them.
“Just a little male bonding, my love,” Gage replied, and he bent to kiss his mate.
Kayden hadn’t realized just how much he missed his parents until an explosion sent him home to them. Now that he was leaving again, Kayden felt the loss of them in his daily life. He vowed to himself that he would make more of an effort to reach out to his parents and get home whenever possible. Grabbing his duffle bag, he pulled it over his shoulder. The injury to his chest was nothing but a memory. Vampire genes rocked. He gave his father another back slapping hug.
Gage whispered for Kayden’s ears only, “Remember. Will Smith.”
It was too damn funny. Kayden was still chuckling when he kissed his mother goodbye and climbed into the truck for the ride to the airport. He was leaving his home feeling like he had some direction. He knew what he wanted … or should he say who he wanted? First, he needed to get Lindsay healthy. Then he would work on what he hoped was waiting for him on the other side of his maximum fear.
“What do you mean she’s gone?” Kayden bellowed. He was ready to leap over the counter and strangle the doctor who was refusing to give him a straight answer. “Where is Lindsay? I want to know specifically where she is and I want to know now!” Kayden started around the chest high barrier between him and the doctor so he could shake her until she started talking.
“I suggest you answer the man, Dr. Rosen.” Hawk placed a restraining hand on Kayden’s shoulder.
The doctor looked mulish, refusing to say more. Hawk released Kayden who bounded around the counter ready to get answers any way he had to. The nurses all scattered, leaving the doctor to fend for herself.
“Wait! Wait! It isn’t my fault! There are rules!” Dr. Rosen scurried away, ready to run circles around the counter to avoid Kayden.
“What rules? You told me everything about Lindsay before. What changed?” Kayden was stalking the doctor like a predator. He needed to know where Lindsay had been moved and why.
“It wasn’t my decision!” Dr. Rosen was running for a door to hide behind, but Kayden was faster. He slammed his big hand on the door before she got it open more than an inch. Dr. Rosen spun around and pressed her back against the door with her hands up. “I wasn’t told where they were taking her! This is totally inappropriate, and I’ll be filing a complaint against you, Mr. Paris!”
“Go ahead. I’ll deliver it to my father for you,” he snarled in her face. “Start talking. Who took Lindsay?”
“Look, I could get in trouble for telling you anything. This is my job,” Dr. Rosen sighed. She peeked around Kayden at Hawk who hadn’t moved. “There were circumstances I hadn’t been made aware of before the other doctor arrived to transfer Lindsay.”
“Like what?” Kayden’s heart was pounding in his chest. He’d come straight from the airport to the infirmary to see Lindsay only to find she was no longer there and the nurses wouldn’t tell him where she was moved to. They called the doctor, who was giving him the same line of bullshit.
“I filled out a report about your unapproved outing with Lindsay. She’s not stable enough to be out in the general population yet. If she’d had an episode and hurt someone, I would have been held responsible.”
“I disagree with your opinion about Lindsay’s readiness and need for fresh air. Is that why she’s gone?” Kayden could feel his temper rising to new heights.
“That was what got the attention of my superiors. There’s some question as to whether your presence is helping or hindering Lindsay’s recovery,” Dr. Rosen explained. “She wasn’t comfortable with anyone but you. That’s not good for her. This is her life now, and she must be integrated into society if she’s going to survive.”
“Are you threatening her life again? Because I can assure you, I have friends on the council. They will not kill an innocent female. The additional psychological harm Lindsay endured while listening to the nurses here debate whether the council would euthanize her if she couldn’t be controlled was completely unfounded and did more harm than anything I did.”
“I dealt with the nurses, Mr. Paris! It won’t happen again,” Dr. Rosen defended. “My superiors had newfound information from the computer they retrieved when Lindsay was rescued that led to her transfer. That reason was compounded by her reluctance to allow medical care when you aren’t here to supervise.”
“Lindsay is physically healthy! She didn’t need much medical care! Why move her now? She’s past the addiction as well! Thank God for vampire genetics. She doesn’t even have cravings. Once her body was flushed of that poison, she was good to go. Your reasons don’t make sense.” Kayden knew he was scaring the doctor. It was unlike him to intimidate a female, but he felt like his chest was being squeezed by a vice. He had to know where his Lindsay had gone.
“That was exactly their point. Lindsay is medically stable. There are psychological issues that need to be addressed now. The newly discovered files—” Dr. Rosen clammed up.
“What? What was in the files?” Kayden barked.
“Dammit, I’m going to lose my job,” the doctor complained. She lowered her voice. “It was suggested in the initial exam note of the scientists working on the drugs that Lindsay had been abused. I saw the notes. It wasn’t a part of the physical exam because she had no damage on the exam, but the social history that caused the most concern.”
“Of course she was abused! They abused her every day!” Kayden feared he would actually begin shaking the doctor is she didn’t start making sense.
“No … Shit. I’m not supposed to violate her privacy. This is wrong.” The doctor looked up at Kayden with sad eyes.
“I love Lindsay, Dr. Rosen, and she’s been taken from me without reason. I want to make her my mate. So, please, tell me what you know. I won’t repeat it to anyone. I swear it on my honor.” Kayden’s honor meant a great deal to him and the doctor knew it.
Dr. Rosen’s shoulders slumped. She averted her eyes.
“The scientists were told when Lindsay arrived that she’d been sexually assaulted by the rogue, by David, while she was in his custody.”
Kayden’s pounding heart came to a sudden and full stop. How your temper
could rise, and your heart could drop at the same velocity Kayden didn’t know, but he was suddenly angry beyond words and heartbroken beyond anything he’d ever experienced in his life.
“That can’t be,” he informed Dr. Rosen. “She … and I … we were …”
“Look, I don’t know if it’s true or not. I doubt they actually asked her. What little information they documented in the history was provided by Sheena. I do know that Lindsay was terrified of everyone, male or female, except for you. She was improving, though. We didn’t have any trouble with her when you left. Other than the depression, but I personally feel that was due to her missing you and not having any information about your whereabouts.”
“She was depressed?” Kayden asked.
His mind was still grasping for something he could digest without going insane. A jumble of memories of Kayden and Lindsay together, holding each other and talking and laughing and … making love washed over him. They’d had sex several times. Lindsay had always initiated their loving. Was that the behavior of a sexual assault victim? How should he know? Lindsay told him many horror stories about her time with Sheena, but she didn’t talk about what happened before that when she was taken by David to punish Abel.
“She became despondent when you left, and it got worse every day. She wanted to know where you were and when you’d be returning, but we had no idea. Then Dr. Fitz showed up to whisk Lindsay away for an in-depth psychiatric evaluation and counseling. They took her somewhere for additional treatment. The order for the transfer cited her behavioral problems and the new diagnosis from the file they found. I had no choice.”
“Was there a location for the transfer?” Kayden asked. He needed to find Lindsay or he was going to lose his mind.
“No, there was no destination listed. When I asked I was told Lindsay was no longer my patient, so I didn’t need to know,” Dr. Rosen answered with sympathy in her eyes.