“It will be okay.” His confidence was a balm on my soul. We ate our meals for a while and then he spoke. “I was afraid too. When my memories came back, I—” he paused and toyed with the food on his plate. “I didn’t like who I was back then. I had to do horrible things in the name of the Queen, and I didn’t think I deserved to be around someone like you. That’s why I wanted to leave. Not to go back to her, but to save you from me.”
Our eyes clashed. And in that moment, the world passed between us. I ached to be closer to him.
“But you were in love with her,” I said, throat getting worse.
“Yes. I was.”
“If you saw the Queen again, what would you do?”
He gaped at my question, and I thought I’d gone too far, pried too much, but I had to know. I couldn’t have her hanging over my head. The pull of our souls had been tangible from the first day we’d met, and it wasn’t any less now. Every atom inside me strained to be with him, to touch him and to fall into his arms.
His eyes glistened in thought.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” he said, eventually. “She became someone else at the end, obsessed with her project here on earth. It had been hard to get her attention. Not that I was demanding, but I’ve told you already, I don’t like who I became for her. If that same person came back… I don’t know.” He grew still. Then, like a river bank breaking, he reached across the table and took hold of my hands. His slender fingers clenched around mine. “But I can tell you this. For you—this person you are today, every part—I would do anything.”
My eyes watered. I rasped, “I don’t want you to hurt yourself over me.”
“That’s why I’ll do it. Because you don’t ask.”
I was about to say I felt the same way when wrongness welled inside me. My throat tightened. I thought my emotions closed it but it was something more. I couldn’t breathe. A sharp pain sliced my stomach from the inside and I doubled over, pulling my hand away from Cash to clutch my middle.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
I tried to say something, but couldn’t. My lungs struggled to work. Air couldn’t get in.
I felt wrong. Sick.
Dizzy, hot, swollen.
Bee stings all over my body.
My Nephilim body reacted, trying to counteract, to heal, but it failed. Broke apart. The bitter aftertaste in my mouth turned acrid. I looked at my soup bowl in horror as I realized.
Cash frowned, his nostrils flaring, scenting.
“Poison,” I mouthed and clutched my throat.
“Shit.” Cash sniffed the bowl of soup and recoiled. Heads turned our way and a murmur of panic escalated in the crowd. Then he scooped me up in his steady arms and left the cafeteria as fast as he could.
My vision blurred, my head hurt, pounded. Everything hurt. Muscles seized, contracting in a fit.
I’m dying, was all I could think. I’m dying, again. One soul inside me would be sacrificed, so I might live. Panic rose inside. That couldn’t happen. If it was Leila, there would be nothing holding Petra back.
Why wasn’t I healing fast enough?
“Fight it, Roo.” Cash’s voice came through a distant cloud. “Use your abilities to fight it. It’s cyanide poisoning. A large enough dose to kill Nephilim. I’ve seen it before.”
The ceiling with its fake daylight stars rushed overhead as we jogged through the halls. My head bobbed uncontrollably.
“It works by stopping the cells in your body from using oxygen,” he said. “Now you know what it does, fight it. Command your body to let the oxygen in.”
My brain fumbled. I couldn’t form a clear directive to my body. No fire ants erupting over my skin, no tingling sensations, just painful numbness. Ungraspable blackness. I gasped, trying to get in air. A fish out of water.
Oh God. Was this how Squid felt when I’d blocked his airways?
Bang!
We burst through doors into a room with yellowed lights. It hurt my eyes, blinded me. I couldn’t see.
“I need help!” Cash bellowed, his voice echoed in the room.
My head lolled to the side, resting on his chest. White heat rolled through me, searing my insides, clouding my mind. I focused on the stitching at the collar of his shirt to keep my brain from exploding, and my lungs working.
Breathe, I commanded. Breathe.
We bumped and jostled as Cash moved.
“Put her down here,” a female voice said.
“Someone poisoned her. Cyanide.” Cash.
“Jesop! Get here.” The woman.
Shuffling, scraping, more bumping. I was on a flat surface.
Someone took hold of my hand.
My lids shuttered.
My awareness collapsed.
Pain.
White.
Muffled silence.
Blackness.
Sound bounced back.
“I’m here. What do you need?” Another male voice.
“Get her in the ice bath. The cold will slow her heartrate and slow the poison running through her veins.”
Hands on me, all around, then I drowned in mind numbing cold. I opened my eyes from the shock and caught a glimpse of three shadowed bodies around me, illuminated by the halogen lights beyond. Then, even the cold couldn’t keep me awake. I drifted…
“Convert this saline to hydroxocobalamin. I’ve got the stint.”
A prick at the inside of my wrist.
Then.
Ice in my veins.
“Give her oxygen.”
A tube in my nose.
No. I couldn’t breathe. Take it out.
“Once that’s in her, we need a bag of sodium thiosulfate and one of sodium nitrite. Put one in her other arm. Then alternate treatments until it’s flushed through her system.”
No. Take it out.
Hands touched me everywhere. Demanding. Wanting something I couldn’t give. I wasn’t good enough to save them.
My arms. My face.
Chaos.
Pain.
A scream.
Someone said something.
“No, that’s good. It means her lungs are opening up.”
The tube was in the way, I tried to remove it but a firm touch stopped me. No. Get it out of me. Water splashed. My teeth chattered.
“Leave it there, honey, you need that for breathing.”
I tried to open my eyes, but they were too heavy. So cold. A moan came from my mouth instead.
“Her lips are blue.” A squeeze on my hand.
My shirt ripped open by someone. Two hot palms pushed me down, resting on the skin over my bra. They stayed there. Steady.
It felt good.
Calm.
Warm.
Slowly, air filtered through my shattered lungs, increasing until I could take a deep, full breath.
“Pulse is getting stronger.”
Hands moved to my head. I sighed. It felt so good.
“No sign of cerebral edema. Breathing returning to normal. Move her to the bed.”
Pressure on my hand, a gentle tug.
“Hear that, Roo? You’re going to be okay.” That deep, silken voice. I loved that voice.
A tear leaked from my eye. I squeezed him back.
“Sleep now, honey. Heal,” said the female.
Chapter 21
When my eyes peeled open, I felt like I’d been run over by an ice truck. Every bone, muscle and cell in my body ached and shivered. But I could breathe. Sweet, clean air.
My body lay on a hospital cot. A foil hypothermia blanket covered me to my chin. Both my arms rested on top, each had an IV drip stuck in. An oxygen tank with a tube led to my face and hooked around my ears and nose. The room was small, with buttons, tubes and technology on the walls. I recognized the same ceiling as my own apartment room, and the fake window had drapes pulled across. This was someone’s Ludus apartment turned into a medical facility.
There was a movement, down near my hand.
Cash held it. An incredible w
armth rushed through my body. He saved me.
He slept, slumped in a chair by my bed, a tiny crease between his brow as though he didn’t like his dream. I ached to wipe that frown away. I must have twitched or something because he opened his eyes.
“Hi,” he said.
“You’ve been here the whole time?”
He sat forward in his chair and caressed my hand with his thumb. “Yeah. You haven’t been asleep for long though. Maybe an hour. I’ll alert Lena.” He leaned over to a button on the wall and pressed it. “How you feeling? Warming up?”
“Cold.”
“They had to put you in an ice bath to lower your heart rate so the poison would move sluggishly through your veins while we fixed you.”
“I need a hot shower.” And I needed time alone with him. I tugged the tube from my nose.
Cash stood up, alarm over his face. He tucked my blankets tighter. “No, you need more time to recover. Cyanide is bad. Even for us. You need more sleep. Your heart rate is still elevated. Your core temperature is too low. I’m sorry I didn’t detect the poison sooner. I wasn’t paying attention.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Cash.”
“I should’ve smelled it. I should’ve noticed. I was too busy thinking about myself, and my abilities… they’re not as sharp as they used to be. Anyway, you need more rest. You’re in a safe place.”
He really seemed out of sorts and my heart went out to him. But I wanted to go somewhere, just the two of us. I felt on edge. Irritable. He was the only one I felt comfortable with.
“I’ve slept for days, Cash. I need to get out.” I focused on the needles in my arms and cringed. Yuck. Pulling them out won’t be fun. But I had to try. I placed my trembling fingers on the IV needle. I had trouble grasping it. My fingertips were numb.
“Honey, I have to examine you first.” A tall woman breezed in, leaving the door open behind her. Her long sliver tresses touched the waist of her floor length, blue robe, and her pale arms poked through slits in the side, like a cape. Thin gauze wrapped around her eyes to tie behind her head, almost hiding the shadow of damaged lids beyond. Blind, yet she walked around the room with precision and confidence.
“Hello, Roo. I’m glad you are still with us. My name is Lena; Corvus mentor.” She tapped the crow emblem on her robe over the breast. “Do you know who we are?”
I shook my head, but then remembered Bruce saying she assessed me during my coma. “You came to see me at Urser House when I didn’t wake up.”
Lena hesitated. “I’m sorry, no, you must have me confused. I’ve never met you before.”
“But… my father said the Corvus mentor came to assess me. Are there more than one?”
From the corner of my eye, I noticed Cash tensing.
“No, it’s just me at this Ludus.”
Lincoln’s odd look over breakfast made sense now. My father had lied. Bastard. I darted a glance at Cash. Behind his eyes, I saw death.
Lena continued speaking. “Our motto is Corvus Oculum Corvi Non Cruit.”
“A crow will not pull out the eye of another crow?” I questioned.
“That’s right. You speak Latin. Splendid. Then, you might understand we are healers in this house. We’ve taken an oath never do any nother life harm. That’s always been my goal, since the beginning, and I’m not going to change now. It doesn’t matter who or what you are. I’ll treat you the same as I treat my progeny. I will assess you now and see how much poison is left in your body.”
“Who, or what I am. You mean Soul-Eater, right?”
“It’s not for me to pass judgment.”
Lena touched my forehead. It felt good. I wanted to sink down into the pillows and revel in it like a cat rolls in catnip. She did something. Electrical. Metaphysical. She touched my soul.
The second person I’d heard during the emergency walked through the door with two IV bags in his hands. He didn’t wear a robe but a blue hoodie. When he turned to place the bags on a shelf, I caught the crow emblem printed on his back. His head was shaved, and he had high cheekbones and straight nose, giving him a hawkish face to match his mentor next to me. When he turned back, he saw me watching and gave me a quick closed mouth smile.
“This is Jesop,” Lena explained as she moved her hands to methodically touch my shoulders, and then throat. “He’s the one who converted the saline into the right treatment for you.”
“I’m an alchemist,” he said.
“Thank you.” I returned his small smile. “That’s an incredible ability to have.”
“Yes, we are very fortunate to have him,” Lena said. “I couldn’t help but think we’ve got someone from the Corvus Constellation looking out for us when they sent him as our next contender.” Lena hovered her palms over my chest. Her forehead crinkled, and she paused. “This is still here. I sensed it yesterday, but thought it might result from your poisoning. I was wrong. You have multiple energies with differing emotive signatures within you. Inconsistent with your prognosis of identity.”
My eyes met Cash’s. He said nothing, waiting for me to respond.
I inhaled deeply. Lena might be able to help. I had to trust people. But I wasn’t sure. For her safety and mine.
As if sensing my hesitance, Lena patted me. “Just like the human doctors, we’ve sworn an oath of privacy. What you say will never leave these walls. Do you have something you want to share?”
“Yes. I have other souls inside me. How could you tell? Can you read auras, like me?”
More routine hovering masked Lena’s surprise. She returned to her calm, steady and curious self before I was even sure I’d seen her jolt.
Jesop took a step back and his facial expression darkened.
“I thought everyone knew I could do that,” I said.
“No. Not everyone. Sensing a life-force, reading auras and manipulating them are all very different things. And I can’t read auras. That is rare. It’s an insight into one’s private sanctuary, like reading minds.”
“Can people read minds?”
“There’s plenty that can read a human’s, a few that can read Nephilim but not so many that can read Seraphim. Still, it’s not the same as aura reading. An aura has your emotions, capabilities and intentions of the past, present and the future. A mind has broken pieces of conscious thought. Tell me what you see when you read mine,” she asked.
I focused on the energy surrounding her body. The air warped around her, and the longer I stared at it, the more her energy spread. Soon, I followed her essence around the room.
“You’re everywhere, but you’re also here.”
“Keep going.”
“It’s how you see, isn’t it?”
“Yes. My eyes were torn out during the day we were banished to this planet. A creature attacked me. If it wasn’t for the queen’s enforcer protecting me from the prince’s abominations, I’d be dead.”
Cash straightened in his seat.
“Lena,” Jesop warned.
“It’s okay, Jesop.”
“But she’s an Urser.”
I grimaced.
Cash sat up, eyes darting to and fro, remembering. “Yes, Lena, you were there.”
“All Watchers were there,” she replied.
“No, I meant on that last day. When the prince died. What did you see?”
“It’s common knowledge what happened.” Lena’s head tilted to the side, inspecting Cash with curiosity.
“I need more details,” Cash said and strode around my bed to face Lena. “Truthful details.”
“Why?” Jesop interrupted. “Why do you care about the day my mentor’s eyes were ripped from her head? It’s a painful memory. One I’m sure she’d rather forget.”
Lena placed a calming hand on her progeny’s arm. “It’s okay, Jesop. I’ve made peace with it a long time ago. Please continue checking on the drip bag.”
Jesop turned a slow burn in Cash’s direction but came to check on the depleted bag that had been pushing fluid into me.
&nbs
p; “Lena, please. If you remember anything, it can help my… situation,” Cash urged. “You know it’s not getting better.”
She sighed. “Yes, despite our attempts. That body is rejecting your soul, but how can my memory help?”
“Because I don’t think I have a Seraphim body to go back to. I didn’t come into this body through the normal Game protocols. I’ve been on this planet, reborn over and over again until finally, here I am. I’ve never left.”
Lena tapped her lip. “A minute ago, you said, ‘You were there, Lena.’ And it wasn’t a question, but a statement. How can you be so sure unless you were there too?”
A pause from Cash. “Because I was.”
Lena placed her palms on his temples. “Fascinating. Your hippocampus and frontal cortex are overactive, engaged in the long-term memory recollection. It’s unheard of. But then again, your entire situation is unheard of. You mentioned earlier that your soul broke and now it’s whole.” She let go. “Now you remember your original Seraphim life.”
“Yes,” he said. “Some of it. Can you tell me what happened on that day?”
“A librarian might be better suited to help you retrieve those memories. They can access the deepest archived parts of your brain, but with your body not healing, it’s doubtful you’ll survive the process.”
The Game of Gods Box Set Page 59