“I can’t help worrying, Becca. I don’t want to hurt them. And I sure as hell don’t want them to hurt me.”
“You won’t hurt them, and they won’t hurt you,” Becca assured her. “They really are your mates, Lainey. I know it will all work out.” She turned to walk toward the counter to get back to work.
Lainey watched Becca as she limped toward the work station. She pushed her own worries aside as she saw how Becca favored her right hip. Her sister had been in constant pain since she had been sixteen years old when their mother had beaten her and had thrown her down the front steps of their home. Becca had broken her hip and had suffered with the injury for an entire day before Rafe McKade showed up and brought her to the hospital.
“Your hip is hurting, Becca.”
“It’s not so bad. I’ll take a break in a minute.”
“Don’t make me call Rafe to get you to take it easy,” Lainey teased, stepping back in surprise when Becca immediately spun around.
“Don’t you dare even mention that man,” she threatened softly. “I don’t want him anywhere near me. I’m tired of him making me feel bad.”
Lainey stepped forward and reached out to steady her as she wobbled unsteadily. “I won’t let him come near you, honey,” she promised. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” She looked at her sister very seriously. “Do you need me to beat him up for you?”
Becca laughed and pushed at her sister’s shoulder. “Yeah, right. It’s okay. I’m done thinking about Rafe McKade. I’ve practically put myself on a platter in front of him. He refused me.” She looked up at Lainey, her eyes filled with pain. “It doesn’t matter how much I love him, Lainey. He doesn’t want me. He’s made that pretty clear. I’m not putting myself out there for him again. I’m not giving him another chance to hurt me.”
Lainey nodded, stepping back once she was sure Becca was able to stand solidly on her own. “Okay, Becca. I understand. And I agree. Both of us need to move on.”
“No, Lainey,” Becca stopped her. “You’re meant to be with Spence and Tim. They care about you, honey. Give them a chance. See what happens.”
“I can’t think about them anymore.” Lainey turned and walked toward the doorway that led to the serving area of the diner. “I don’t feel well, and I’m tired of thinking about it. This has been a bear of a day, and I can’t wait to get home.”
“We’re supposed to go to Deuce’s tonight, remember?”
“Oh, crap! I don’t need this,” Lainey whispered, moaning as she rubbed her face tiredly. She turned around and faced her sister slowly. “I can’t do this tonight, Becca.”
“I know. I’m not exactly up to it either,” Becca agreed. “But tonight is Robbie’s birthday party.”
“Oh, man, I forgot,” Lainey whispered, groaning. There was no way she could stay away from Luke and Melanie’s three year old son’s birthday party. He was the best little boy ever. She loved him like he was her own child. They all did. She couldn’t stay away from his fourth birthday party.
“We have to go, Lainey,” Becca told her gently. “I’m not going to stay away from that baby boy even if I don’t want to see Rafe, but if you don’t want to go, we can always call Gracie and tell her we can’t make it. She’ll understand.”
Lainey nodded, thinking about Deuce’s mate Gracie. She would understand. “You can tell her I don’t feel well. It’s the truth.”
“You don’t feel well?”
Lainey shook her head, blushing lightly. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“What do you mean? What’s wrong?”
“Geez! I might as well take out an ad in the local newspaper! Lainey Markham is ovulating!” she said in exasperation, making air quotes with her fingers as she spoke.
Becca’s immediate laughter filled the kitchen. Lainey didn’t want to smile, really she didn’t, but hearing Becca laugh broke her resolve.
“Oh, shut up!” she snapped, unable to hold in her own laughter. “Get back to work, lady! We’ll leave to go to Deuce’s at six tonight.”
Turning, she walked out of the kitchen and grabbed the pad on the counter to take the order of the two customers who had just entered the diner and now sat at the counter. She was determined to keep her mind on her work and ignore the two men who watched her from their place at the corner of the diner. She was determined that she wouldn’t look at them even once for however long they would be there.
“It’s going to be a long day,” she muttered as she rubbed her aching side tiredly.
Chapter 4
“Come on, Robbie!” Spence called to his nephew as he stepped down off the porch of Deuce’s ranch home.
“Unca Spence, are we gonna ride?” Robbie asked excitedly as he ran to catch up to his uncle, his little legs pumping hard to match him.
“Yes, buddy, we’re gonna ride,” Spence called down to him, leaning over and scooping him up into his arms and settling him on his shoulder.
“Unca Tim, are you gonna ride with us?” Robbie called to him as they stepped up behind him.
“Yes, Robbie. I’m gonna ride with you, too,” Tim told him, reaching up and running his hand over the little boy’s black hair and down his face to cup his cheek gently, his large hand dwarfing the small child’s face.
He smiled at the little boy with the adorable face and sparkling blue eyes who looked back at him. He was a McKade through and through, showing the traits of black hair and blue eyes that was evident in every one of the McKade men. He suddenly thought about the children that Lainey might give him and Spence if she allowed them to love her. He felt a sudden rush of need to cherish and hold tight to the love that only she gave them with so much tenderness and sincerity.
Standing at the corral gate, he took Robbie from Spence and held him safely against his chest while Spence headed into the enclosure and took hold of his golden quarter horse’s reins. He waited until Spence mounted and walked his horse toward them then handed Robbie up to him.
“I like to ride,” Robbie told them excitedly as his uncle settled him comfortably in front of him.
“I do, too,” Spence told him, laughing. “Lady sure is happy to give you a ride.”
Robbie leaned forward and petted Lady’s mane excitedly. “I love Lady,” he told him happily.
“I know you do, Robbie,” Spence told him, smiling at his sweet nephew. “I think Lady loves you, too.”
Tim turned to walk toward his own horse when he saw the car that Lainey and Becca had been renting since their old wreck of a car had completely crapped out on them. When the steering had failed and the car had crashed into the corral fencing, he never thought he could ever be so afraid in his life. Just the thought of something happening to their woman made fear settle deep inside his gut, and he was determined to protect and care for her for the rest of his life. He knew that Spence felt the same way.
He walked toward the corral gate, stood beside the horse trough, and waited for the car to come to a stop, smiling at the thought that their woman was now where she was supposed to be. He watched as Lainey parked the car beside the corral and she and Becca slowly got out of the car. Both women nodded to them and walked toward the ranch home.
“What the hell?” Tim muttered as he watched Lainey walk away. “Lainey!”
She turned around and faced him. The look she gave him made his heart hurt. There was no joy in her expression as she met his gaze. When she looked at him he only saw sadness, and it made him ache down to his very soul.
“Tim,” Spence called out quietly behind him as he edged his horse closer to the gate.
“I see,” Tim answered, never taking his eyes off of Lainey.
He rubbed at his chest as the pain he was feeling intensified. Stepping back, he was about to turn around to face Spence when he collided into the wooden trough, lost his balance, and tumbled backward into the knee high container of water. He landed with a thud, hitting his head on the back of the wooden edge and sending a torrent of water up and over the sides of
the trough as his large body displaced the water.
Before he could right himself, he felt small hands grabbing for his arm and tugging on him. He bobbed in the water as he was pulled up, gasping for breath and choking as he spit out the water that he had swallowed. When he opened his eyes, he was looking directly into Lainey’s beautiful, blue eyes. He smiled immediately.
“Hello, Lainey girl,” he whispered as he reached up and touched her cheek gently.
“Tim, are you okay?” she asked, touching the side of his head gently.
Tim winced in pain as her fingers probed the knot on his head. “Man, that hurts,” he muttered.
“We’d better get you to the hospital,” she told him quickly.
Tim reached up and palmed her face between his hands. “I’m fine, honey,” he assured her. “I’ve got a pretty hard head. It’s just a bump.”
“I know you have a hard head,” she told him, snorting. “I’ve known that for a while.”
“Hey! Not nice, Lainey,” Tim told her, pretending to be insulted but secretly enjoying the way she always teased him.
Lainey fought to keep the smile from her face. She was about to tease him further when she saw him touch the side of his head lightly, wincing in pain as he touched the knot she was sure he had there.
“Timmy,” Lainey spoke gently. “All kidding aside. You’re hurt. We should probably take you to see a doctor.”
Tim closed his eyes and took a settling breath. This woman eased his aches. She was the key to his and Spence’s happiness. Opening his eyes, he drew her toward him slowly, giving her the opportunity to pull away. When her pretty, blue eyes just watched him, he saw her emotions playing within her and smiled as he saw the gentle caring she finally allowed him to see there.
It’s now or never. The realization hit Tim in that moment, and he knew he had to act on it.
Leaning toward her, he kissed her cheek lightly then moved his lips across hers to claim them sweetly. He urged her to open to him and groaned when she did. The feel of her soft lips moving against his gave him the sense of peace that only she could give him. Feeling her need matching his made him know that she desired him as much as he desired her. He knew that she loved him as a friend. It seemed as if she might actually love him as a man. That thought made him lower his hands to pull her against him, wrap his arms around her body, and hold her tightly against his chest as he intensified his kiss, loving the sweet sounds that emerged from her as she gave him her love.
“Lainey,” he whispered against her lips, hugging her tightly. “Baby, I love you so much.”
Lainey pulled back, looking at Tim with new eyes. The sudden desire she had for him slowly ebbed as she viewed him. The words he had just spoken permeated her mind, and she struggled to understand them.
He loved her? Like, love, loved her? What?
“Tim?” she whispered. “I don’t understand.”
The sudden chuckle behind them made Lainey freeze. A rush of shame filled her, and she looked at Tim in horror before she turned to face her other best friend. Spence’s lazy smile and sparkling blue eyes tore at her heart. How could she have done this to him? How could she have kissed Tim and liked it—in front of Spence?
“I’m a horrible person,” she whispered, covering her mouth to muffle the sob that escaped her.
She tried to pull out of Tim’s arms to escape her humiliation, but Tim’s arms tightened around her. She knew he would never hurt her, but his arms were steel bands around her body and his hold on her was sure. There was no way she would ever be able to pull out of his embrace if he didn’t want her to.
“Robbie, I need you to go with Aunt Becca so I can help Uncle Tim and Aunt Lainey,” Spence told his nephew, handing him down to Becca as she stepped up beside them.
“Okay, Unca Spence,” Robbie agreed without hesitation. “Is Unca Tim okay?”
“He will be, buddy,” Spence assured him, kissing the top of his nephew’s head lightly and hugging him gently before lifting him from his lap and handing the little boy to Becca.
Robbie reached out and allowed Becca to take him in her arms. Becca cuddled him against her chest and kissed his cheek, making him giggle against her.
“Come on, Robbie,” she told him calmly, looking at Lainey and smiling softly, hoping her sister would see her support.
It was about time Lainey had her discussion with Tim and Spence. Only after that could they move forward with the relationship Becca knew was meant to be. The three of them were a team, they always had been from the time they had been children. Becca didn’t really know when the friendship had changed into something more, but she did know that Lainey had harbored a deep love for both men for a very long time.
“Let’s go inside and check on your birthday cake, Robbie,” Becca offered, winking at Lainey before she focused on the small boy once again.
“Yay! Cake!”
Robbie’s enthusiasm made Becca smile. She turned and carefully walked toward Deuce’s ranch home, climbing the porch steps slowly. Her hip was hurting her a lot today. She had done too much at the diner, she knew that, but she was determined to push through the pain. She had to. She would not give in to it.
The front door opened and she found herself looking up into the blue eyes of the man who held her heart. Rafe McKade stood there, smiling down at her. Her heart immediately hurt. She didn’t know how she was going to get through the party. The pain in her hip was barely allowing her to walk, but the pain in her heart was making it nearly impossible for her to breathe. Rafe McKade was the man who held her heart, but he was also the man who refused her love. The embarrassment of being rejected was one thing, but the desolation of not being wanted by the man she was sure was her mate was much worse.
“Hello, Miss Becca,” Rafe’s deep voice greeted her.
She looked up at him and smiled, determined to be strong. She would not allow him to know just how much she hurt without him in her life.
“Hello, Rafe. How are you?” she asked him softly as she stepped toward the door and walked around him as he moved back to allow them to enter.
“I’m good, Becca. How are you?” He looked at her with an assessing eye as he watched her walk slowly toward the kitchen. He followed her closely, reaching out and taking gentle hold of her hips, turning her carefully so that she faced him. “Your hip is hurting, isn’t it?”
Becca sighed, wishing he had more feelings for her than his concern about her hip. She was more than her hip. She didn’t think he would ever see her as more than her injury, though.
“I’m fine,” she assured him. “Excuse me. Robbie and I have a cake to check on.” Although Becca’s voice was soft, there was an underlying line of steel running through it.
Rafe hesitated, stepping back slightly as he released his light hold on her. He felt the loss immediately. When her beautiful eyes met his, he knew she had completely distanced herself from him, and he didn’t blame her one bit. He had made sure he presented himself as an unwilling recipient of her affections. As much as it killed him to know that he had purposely destroyed any hope of ever having this wonderful woman in his life, he hurt that much more knowing he would never know the sweetness of her smile or the gentleness of her touch.
“Robbie, after you check out your cake with Aunt Becca, you can come ride my horse with me. Okay, buddy?” he said finally.
“Okay, Unca Rafe! I want to ride the horse.”
Rafe chuckled and leaned forward to kiss his nephew’s cheek lightly. Before he pulled away, he leaned into Becca’s hair and breathed in deeply. He loved the scent of her. It calmed and soothed him. He pulled back and looked down at her, questioning what, if anything, he could say to her.
“Okay, Robbie. I’ll come get you as soon as I saddle my horse.”
Indecision filled him as he looked down at Becca as she held his nephew so comfortably in her arms. He thought about the child they would never have together being held the same way and his heart hurt. He would never hold her in his arms, mak
e love to her, or have a future and a family with her. He wanted all of those things with every part of his being, but it couldn’t happen. His actions many years before had made sure of that, and no amount of wanting on his part would ever change that.
Before he had a chance to decide what to do, she made the decision for him. She turned and pushed open the swinging door that led into the kitchen, entering without another word. Rafe watched her go, his heart heavy with sadness and guilt as he saw the woman that he loved walk away from him.
* * * *
“Tim, I need you to let me go,” Lainey told him softly.
“See, that’s the problem, honey,” Tim explained gently. “Spence and I have been letting you go for too long. It’s time for you to understand exactly what you mean to us.”
“I know you love me, Tim. I don’t really need to hear that,” Lainey told him tiredly. “I love you both, too. You’re my best friends.”
“Lainey. Look at me.”
Lainey raised her eyes slowly and melted as she saw the deep caring and calm in Tim’s gentle eyes. How many times had she thought about his soft, brown eyes? Too many times to count. Just as many times as she thought about Spence’s striking, blue eyes. Both men’s eyes affected her deeply and made her drown in the emotions she had for both of them.
Pushing at Tim’s chest lightly, she tried desperately to calm herself and not think about the muscles that bunched beneath her palms. She tried not to think about the sexy man, or the way his body called to hers. She tried not to think about the man who sat atop his horse behind them. His equally sexy body had starred in many a fantasy over the years. Both men had. That was the whole problem.
Now that she had succumbed to her desires and had leaned into Tim’s kiss, responding with her own need, she was mortified that she had displayed her desires in front of Spence. If the situation had been reversed, and she had kissed Spence while Tim was the witness to her actions, she would have felt the same.
Claiming Lainey [Cowboy Mates, Psychic Connections 3] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 4