There was an unease that spread throughout the room as the High Council displayed their powers. I stood there and took it. Their power smashed into me, rolled over me, tested and pushed. I fought and kept them back but barely. If they really wanted to do a number on me, they could have. That scared me.
For the first time since learning about them, they were really scaring me. And they knew that by the way the three men grinned. Elaria looked upset and the other woman just looked annoyed. They wanted something from me, some kind of reaction, and they pushed for it.
Siitha growled at my side and only settled when my hand fell to his head. Just that small movement took a lot of work. The air around me was too saturated with power to be able to do much else. I heard more growling and thought it was the behesiff, but then I realized the sound came from my left, from Shanton. He was reaching his limit and if they pushed much harder, he was going to snap.
I gritted my teeth. If they wanted a show of my capabilities, I’d be more than willing to show them. I reached deep within myself and grabbed onto my magic. After grabbing as much as I could, I yanked hard, dragging it up, letting it flood my body. Now was the moment when I learned if I was really healed after frying my brain or if I was going to make it worse. If the other guys were there, they’d be pissed. But they weren’t.
The elementalists could try all they wanted to make me bend to their will. I’d prove to them that they couldn’t push me around. I wasn’t and would never be their puppet.
“Don’t,” Shanton gritted out. His arm snaked around my waist and pulled me into him. He curled his body around mine, as if to protect me from the danger. His lips found my ear, and he said, “Don’t give them the satisfaction.”
His warning was a dose of cold water. He was right. They wanted to see how powerful I was, but I couldn’t play my hand. Not now. Could I push back and hurt them? Maybe. I’d like to have thought so, but they didn’t need a definite answer. And if I was more powerful than they realized, they might decide I was too risky and would be better off dead. I did know one thing that wasn’t in my favor. They’d never be able to use me as a puppet. I refused to give them that power over me.
I was left with only one solution and that was to swallow my magic. Once someone pulled on their gifts, the most dangerous thing they could do was not use it. It was the same for me. I’d offered a promise to my magic, and now that I was going back on that, it was pissed. It had been ready to do my bidding, growing excited at having a purpose, but I tossed all that out. To pull back, I had to risk an implosion of magic—a very real possibility.
Today was a lucky day. The magic burned its way back to the depths I held it in. I took a beating, but I didn’t disintegrate or explode into bits and pieces.
“Is everyone about done?” the female Highborn Council member said. Her eyes narrowed as she glanced at the men and then at me. She had a pixie nose with big green eyes. Her face was small, and her cheeks had a roundness to them. She almost looked like a small child except for the wrinkles. Apparently age equated strength in this civilization.
“I agree,” Elaria said. “How about we get this meeting on its way. I’m sure Laila and her companions would like to rest.”
“So be it,” the younger man on the far right said. The other two older men nodded.
“Excellent.” Elaria turned her attention back to me. “Dr. Porter, I’d like you to meet Councilwoman Ilrune and Councilman Tenebrus to my left, and Councilman Cornaith and Councilman Siveril to my right.”
“Hello,” I said.
They stared at me, and I stared back. Seemed no one wanted to make the first move.
Elaria sighed and cut Cornaith and Siveril a scathing look. “We just wanted to introduce ourselves and let you know that despite your sudden presence, we are glad you decided to come.”
“I wish I could say being here was intentional, but it isn’t,” I said.
“What do you mean?” Tenebrus spoke up.
“It’s only a coincidence that we found your home. It was never my intention to visit you. In fact, if you would stop sending me invitations, I’d be grateful.”
“You’re ungrateful,” the scratchy voice said and I learned it came from Cornaith. He scowled at me hard, his glowing eyes simmering with barely suppressed rage. He had dark skin, white hair, and a white scar that ran along his jaw.
“Either way, you are here now. Tonight, we’ll have a dinner party in your honor. And then we can go from there. Maybe discuss how to go about your lessons. You are older, so we can’t do the traditional route. Maybe we can do an accelerated lesson plan? She’s quite bright,” Elaria said.
“An accelerated method?” Ilrune asked. “That’ll kill her.”
“She has a lot to learn and we need to get her up to speed as soon as possible,” Tenebrus said. “If she can’t handle it, then that’s on her.”
They went back and forth for a few minutes, and I tried to piece together what they were going on about. Did they really think I was here for them? To learn? The others filling the stands were paying close attention, some of them leaning forward as if watching an intense tennis match. Some of them muttered, leaning into each other. Others touched hands, exchanging what I had no doubt were bets on the outcome of this meeting.
“Okay, enough,” I said, projecting my voice to make sure they heard me. They quieted down instantly. “I think you misunderstand. I’m leaving here as soon as I can. I don’t have the time to stick around and pretend to care about what you have to teach me.”
“Careful, Laila,” Shanton muttered.
I sent him a side glance. “Don’t look so wary,” I teased with a smile. “We already know I suck at this diplomatic bullshit. But this time, you don’t get to tell me to shut up.” I turned back to the five Highborn. “I only have a couple of questions for you guys, and then we are leaving.”
“You can’t just leave,” Siveril said.
“Why not?” I asked.
“Because you need to learn to control yourself.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I think I control myself just fine.”
“As you are now, you do. But you can be more and we can help you with that,” Elaria said.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re one of us, there is no doubt,” she said slowly. “You felt it when you came in. You saw it. Most of us have the traits, the glowing green eyes. Others don’t. Why is that?”
She had me there. I was curious. “Why?” I asked.
“Those of us with glowing green eyes went through the transition ceremony. Only we can do it. Haven’t you noticed that despite all that magic you feel inside of you, you can’t use it all? That you can manipulate other people’s energy but you don’t have any of your own. Or how your body tires easily. How easy it is for you to become exhausted. Have you ever gone into a sleep?”
My silence was answer enough as my curiosity grew. I was learning more about myself than I had in my entire life.
Ilrune spoke up. “Your body, as it is, cannot support you. You push it whenever you use too much magic. Without going through the transition ceremony, you’ll never have full access to reach your potential. What you can do now is only a drop in the water of your capabilities.”
My stomach churned as she spoke. I saw the trap they so clearly laid out before me. If I wanted to be who I was meant to be, I needed them. They made that loud and clear.
“And we won’t let you go through with it without being trained,” Siveril said. “We won’t give you access to all that power without knowing you’ll be able to handle it. You’ll get yourself and everyone you care about killed.”
“You’ll self-destruct,” Elaria said. “Without proper training, without understanding what you can do, if we were to release your energy, give you access to it, your power would consume you. If it doesn’t do it right away, then it’ll turn into the equivalent of a slow poisoning. Your body will weaken, and it won’t get stronger. You’ll become reckless with your power until you burn
yourself out, until you kill yourself.”
“And let me guess, only you guys are able to help me so I don’t do that?”
“Yes,” she said.
“Isn’t that convenient for you,” I said in a low voice. “To have that complete power over everyone.”
Muttering moved through the room as everyone responded to my words. The council members’ eyes flickered around the room before stopping back on me.
“We only have your best interest at heart,” Elaria said. “We see a lot of opportunity for you. Won’t you let us help you?” I asked.
“And what is it that I lose?” I asked. “By becoming your little doll to play with, what do I lose?”
“You won’t lose anything. You’ll be stronger,” Cornaith snapped.
“But I’ll only be stronger under your guidance,” I challenged back. “I can see it. The moment I say yes. You’re throwing all these promises at me, trying to make it seem like I’ll be gaining everything and losing nothing. But the moment I say yes and you make it binding in some way, once I’m trapped, you’ll throw a bunch of stipulations into the pot. You’ll sour it with your greed.”
“Child,” Ilrune said. “Don’t you wish to be who you truly are?”
“That’s the thing. I think I’m exactly who I need to be, and you hate that I found myself without your assistance. You can’t handle the fact that I’m the elementalist who got away, who became strong in her own right, who holds her own sense of truth, her own sense of morals. You hate that you have no power over me.”
“But you’re missing half of yourself,” Elaria said in a soft voice.
I gave her a soft smile. She was right. “I’ve been missing that part of me for nineteen years. I can’t miss something I never had and the one thing I want in my life, that I need, is my freedom. I cannot exchange that for more power. I think I have enough.”
“How can you be so stupid?” Cornaith hissed.
I tilted my head to the side and stared at him. “How can you be so selfish?” I asked. “I grew up surrounded by greed, foster parents who only wanted more money, power over others, to rise within society. Me, I only ever wanted to make sure I had three square meals a day and people around me who cared about my welfare more than they did about the money I have lining my pockets. I want the choice to use my magic the way I want to without having to ask for permission. I just want to be left alone.”
“You realize what you’re saying?” Elaria asked. She sounded so sad, so heartbroken when she asked.
I thought about her question, about what they had told me and what I learned. Was this a choice I could live with? Could I look back years later at this moment and think “Yes, I made the right choice?” I wasn’t a prophet or a seer, but knowing the person I was, I thought I was okay. I’d live with this choice. I’d be happy that I made this choice. They wanted me, they were trying to dangle something I wanted over me, but the problem was, I didn’t want it. Being powerful wasn’t anything special. All it ever got me were parents who never wanted to keep me, people who feared me, and people who only stared at me because I could give them what they couldn’t get on their own.
“I am sure.”
I swore the room gasped at my response. They couldn’t understand where I was coming from. Shanton didn’t say anything; he didn’t try to push me to make a different decision. I didn’t look at him, too scared to see what kind of expression he had. If he wanted me to trade my soul for that shitty deal, I didn’t think I would be able to be around him.
“You’re going to regret this,” Cornaith seethed.
“Enough,” Ilrune said. “We need to respect her wishes. Dr. Porter, please, stay for the night. We have a party to welcome you. The community would love to meet with you. And maybe while you’re here, you’ll think more about what we have to offer you.”
“We can’t stay the night,” I said. “We need to get moving.”
“Why?” Elaria asked.
I finally glanced at Shanton. His expression was schooled to give nothing away. His eyes met mine and I barely noticed the slight tilt in his head, his nod of approval.
I quickly filled them in on everything going on, the people we chased. As I talked, I noted the change in the air, the tension that filled it. The Highborn Council grew unnaturally still as I went into details about Padraig. His name grabbed their attention. They knew something. Oh, they definitely knew something.
When I finished, I waited for them to tell me what it was. Did they know Padraig? Or worse, did they know what he was up to?
I shouldn’t have been surprised when Cornaith and Siveril got up to their feet.
“Thank you for filling us in. We’ll have Atasha show you where you can stay to get refreshed. Please stay for dinner at least before leaving.”
Shanton glanced at me before focusing on them. “We’ll stay the night,” he said. When I opened my mouth to say no, he gave me a hard shake of his head and a warning glare. I gritted my teeth.
Dammit. I did not want to stay here any longer than I needed to.
Ilrune grinned. “That is excellent news. Then we will have Atasha show you to your sleeping quarters. In the morning, after our daily blessing, we will make sure you have everything you need before leaving. Maybe we can get you to stay another night. The Wild is not a place to blindly wander around.”
“I would like to request to send a message out to some of my companions,” Shanton said. “They’re following behind, and I don’t want them missing us.”
“They will not be allowed within our boundaries,” Elaria said.
“Of course not.”
“Very well, give the message to Atasha. She will make sure it gets to them.”
Shanton nodded. “Thank you, Councilwoman Elaria.”
Atasha came in with a small smile and nodded toward a side door to the right of the room, tucked between the stands and the stage. She walked over and waited for us to join before leading us out.
“Why—”
“Not now,” Shanton whispered, and I stopped.
Damn. He made his mind up about something, and we weren’t leaving until he got what he wanted. Stupid stubborn dragon. We should just leave before they decided to lock us up and lose the key. I had a feeling they would love doing that.
“Here.” Atasha pulled out a key from nowhere and unlocked the door. Stepping back, she motioned for us to go inside first and then followed. We went into a room with a bed in the middle and an open wide doorway that led to what was the bathroom.
“Not a fan of privacy?” I asked.
Shanton stalked around the room and stopped, turning back to the two of us with a wide grin, flashing his teeth. “I like it.”
I snorted. “You would enjoy watching me take a piss.”
“I enjoy watching you, no matter what you’re doing.” He turned to Atasha. “Thank you. I’d like some alone time with Laila before we meet for the party.”
Atasha flashed us a knowing grin. “Of course. I’ll be back in an hour to escort you. There are clothes in the closet. They are magicked to fit your size, so just put them on and they’ll readjust to your frame.”
The moment she shut the door, I whirled on Shanton. “What the fuck? Why do we have to stay?” I asked.
“First, block this room.”
I rolled my eyes, but did as he said, putting up a quick ward to prevent prying eyes and ears from spying on us. Once I finished, I glared at Shanton. “I don’t want to stay here.”
“They know Padraig. I’d go as far as to say they fear him. The moment you said his name and explained what was going on, their fear filled the room, and they grew restless. Their heart rates changed. If we stay the night, we can get answers.”
I groaned. “Of fucking course they’d know. How could I be surprised? I bet it’s another one of their fuckups.”
“It’d explain why the tracker sent us here. Padraig probably circled their territory.”
“Fuck. Dammit. Not what I want.” I sighed and sat d
own on the bed, putting my head in my hands and leaning forward.
“Laila, are you okay?” Shanton asked.
“No. Not at all. This is the last place I want to be. They just dangled the key to my existence in front of my fucking face, and I said no.” I laughed, the sound nearly delirious. “I fucking said no.”
“Do you want them to help you?” he asked in a cautious voice.
“Goddess, no. They are the last people I want to be around. If I could do this awakening ceremony or whatever they call it on my own, I would. But I have a feeling it’s one of their closest buried secrets. They’re never going to let me do it without them. It’s the only thing they have over me.”
“But you aren’t willing to fall for their trap.”
“No. I truly want nothing to do with them.”
“They aren’t all bad,” Shanton said.
“Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t care. They aren’t my family. My family, my friends, my lovers. You are all in Springer City. Not fucking out here in the middle of the wild, surrounded by Nature who probably wants me dead to feed her earth.”
Shanton came over and kneeled in front of me, spreading my legs so his chest was between them. “Laila. Is this your choice or your stubbornness?”
I eyed him.
“If you truly don’t want to be here, if you really truly don’t want their help, then once this is settled, once we figure out what they’re hiding, we’re gone, and we’re never fucking looking back. But you also get unnaturally stubborn. You get an idea in your head, and you stand by it, even when it’s starting to look wrong. If this is because of your stubbornness, because you’re determined to see the bad in them, then you need to think harder about the choices they have to offer you. Saying no to them, turning your back on them, when they offer you a part of yourself. That decision cannot be lightly made.”
I licked my lips. “I can’t… I don’t want their help.”
Magical Redemption Page 18