‘You will have to learn to let go, Mini. Life’s not about what you have. It’s about how much and how easily you let go of what you have.’
There were footsteps. The Stranger placed one hand on Rivanah’s mouth, the other behind her back, and drew her closer to his chest. She could hear his heartbeat. It sounded normal. Hers definitely was not. The embrace calmed her. And he was . . . she lifted her head and felt his breath on her face. As she tasted her own tears, her lips parted. She didn’t know whether the Stranger was looking at her—she wished he was. But when she felt a thumb caressing her lips, she was sure he was looking at her. She didn’t know which was scarier: the comfort she was feeling in the arms of a stranger or a stranger making her this comfortable. But she knew whichever of the two it was, it was the most compelling fear she had ever felt.
Two young boys walked past them, chatting cheerfully, not noticing them in the dark. Once their voices became faint, the Stranger slowly released Rivanah from his grip. They stood a few inches apart.
‘Why do you keep breaking me and then making me at the same time?’
The Stranger didn’t respond immediately. Rivanah thought he was gone. She stretched her hand and relaxed when she felt him.
‘That’s what true love is, isn’t it?’ the Stranger asked. ‘Helping the other person grow by constantly breaking and making them at the same time? Not the way you want them to be but the way they ought to be.’
‘Do you mean you love—’ Rivanah felt a finger on her lips before she could finish.
‘That’s not important, Mini. What is important is why you forgot about Hiya all of a sudden after you visited Mr Dutta in Kolkata? Ask yourself that. And get an answer soon. Time is running out.’
‘But you won’t kill me, right?’
There was no response. She couldn’t touch him any more with her hands. Rivanah quickly opened her blindfold. She looked around and found herself all alone on the skywalk. Why did she forget about Hiya after visiting Mr Dutta? Did she really visit Mr Dutta? Wasn’t it supposed to be a dream? Her parents had confirmed it for her. The Stranger must be kidding.
20
Rivanah had little choice but to return to the flat she shared with Danny. She used the spare key to unlock it. She was sure she would find him inside and had no clue how to handle the situation. But instead of Danny, she found a Post-it note on the refrigerator. It read:
I know it sounds rude but you haven’t left me with any other option. Please leave by tomorrow. Thanks.
It wasn’t just rude. It was formal. Way too formal. And that was more hurtful. Two people claiming to be in love until few hours back now behaving like strangers. Rivanah threw the note in the dustbin and went to the bedroom. By then she had realized Danny wasn’t home. He wouldn’t be till the next day—till she left. In only a few hours she had become an emotional disease he couldn’t bear to see. She switched on the night lamp in the bedroom and looked at the nicely made bed. They had made love on the bed time and again, whispering promises to each other and confessing their love. What were those promises and confessions? Just a momentary illusion squeezed out by the hunger of the body? Rivanah sat on the bed and caressed the bed sheet. The place which once had the fragrance of their togetherness would have the stain of her tears tomorrow. But would the stains be prominent enough to be noticed by Danny? Rivanah doubted it as a teardrop fell on the bed sheet. She lay down on the bed, clutching the bed sheet tight, and quietly cried her way to sleep.
Rivanah woke up in the morning, took a little more than an hour to pack all her stuff except for the ones gifted to her by Danny and pasted a blank note on the refrigerator. She didn’t have anything to say and hoped Danny would understand. She had finally understood men. They would demand chance after chance when they were at fault but wouldn’t give a woman any chance—it didn’t matter if she was at fault or not. Their straying is always accidental but a woman’s straying is part of her personality. Most importantly, a man’s mistake is a woman’s sin.
There was a surprise waiting for her in front of the main door. Her mobile phone. The one she had smashed to the ground the previous evening. She picked it up trying to guess who could have kept it there. There was no damage to it. Did the Stranger buy her a new phone, same model? Switching it on she realized it was her phone; all repaired.
Initially Rivanah thought she’d go to Meghna’s place, dump her stuff and head to office but decided against it midway. She couldn’t trouble her every time she was in a spot. Especially since Rivanah had never bothered to keep in touch with her. The kind of spite she had felt seeing Riju with Meghna last time eventually steered her mind off. With no clue where to go at such short notice, Rivanah went to the office with her luggage. When her colleagues enquired about the reason for such a sudden shift, she made up excuses.
Rivanah thought she could find temporary accommodation with the colleagues she was close to, but they all gave some excuse or other. She talked with two or three brokers for a rented place, but nothing was available immediately. In the end she thought of putting up at a hotel near her office until she found a flat. She booked a room. Rivanah was surprised—she wasn’t as disarrayed as she thought she would be. She even faked a perfectly normal tone while talking to her mother. The Rivanah who had come to Mumbai wouldn’t have been able to be so composed and practical after a break-up. It was the Rivanah who had stayed in Mumbai and fought whatever had come her way.
In the evening, as she dragged her luggage into the office elevator on her way out and pressed the ground floor button, a foot stopped the door from closing. She looked up to see Nivan.
‘Hey,’ he said and entered the elevator.
‘Hey.’ Rivanah was glad to see him. Nivan glanced at her luggage and said, ‘Did you just rob our office?’
Rivanah smiled and replied, ‘House issues. Need to find a place ASAP.’
‘Oh. Didn’t the landlord give you any notice?’
Rivanah’s smile went dry as she said, ‘Not really.’
‘That’s quite indecent on his part.’
Rivanah nodded in agreement. The elevator door opened on the ground floor. ‘See you,’ Nivan said and stepped out of the elevator before she could reply. She dragged her luggage out and went out of her office building to fetch an autorickshaw. Had it not been for her luggage, she could have walked the distance. To her dismay, no auto was ready to take her to the hotel such a short distance away. A pitch-black BMW came to halt right in front of her. Rivanah didn’t notice who was inside it until the window rolled down. It was Nivan. And her stupid smile was back.
‘Where are you going to put up tonight?’ Nivan asked trying to lean sideways away from the steering wheel in order to make eye contact.
‘Hotel Hometel. It’s very close—’
‘I know where Hometel is,’ he cut her short. ‘But I think I’ve a permanent solution for you.’
‘You do? I’m listening.’
‘I own an empty flat right opposite the one I live in. You can stay there if it is okay with you.’
‘Thanks, but I think it would be a problem for you.’
‘Not really. I’m anyway thinking of letting the flat out. Might as well start with you.’
So it’s not charity, Rivanah thought, and said, ‘In that case, I don’t mind.’
Nivan got out of the car and helped her put the luggage in the boot. Rivanah cast furtive glances at Nivan all through their ride, but not once did she see him return any. She would have loved it if he had asked her something. That would have given her the licence to ask him some as well without sounding like a probing psycho.
Nivan lived in a posh locality near the Lokhandwala market in Andheri West. Five minutes from Krishna Towers where she lived with Danny. Used to live with Danny, she corrected herself. Once inside the society premises, she knew she wouldn’t be able to afford the rent there. The Residency Enclave was visibly an upscale area. She thought it’d be rude if she refused outright since Nivan was concerned enough
to have driven her to the place.
He lived on the sixteenth floor. Flat number 1603. He pressed the doorbell and they exchanged a formal smile.
The door was opened by an old female servant. She took Nivan’s laptop bag as a Labrador rushed towards him, wagging its tail.
‘Meet Xeno,’ Nivan told Rivanah.
‘Say hello to . . .’ Nivan told Xeno, caressing him, and then turned to Rivanah saying, ‘It’s Rivanah, right?’
‘Yes.’
‘Say hi to Rivanah,’ Nivan spoke into Xeno’s ears.
‘Niv!’ A lady called out from one of the rooms inside.
‘Please be comfortable, and give me a minute,’ Nivan told Rivanah and went in as Xeno sniffed her. She patted its head lovingly and walked to the huge white sofa and sat down. Xeno too sat down right beside her feet on the Kashmiri carpet. The servant who had opened the door came with a glass of water. While sipping the water, a tiny part of her was praying that the woman who called Nivan inside was his mother. Or aunt. Or whoever except . . . her eyes fell on a lot of photographs, mostly of Nivan and another girl. But before she could take a closer look at the pictures, Nivan came out into the drawing room.
‘Let’s go,’ he said and went towards the main door. Rivanah kept her glass on the tray on the centre table. As she followed Nivan, Xeno followed her.
It was flat no. 1604, right opposite his, as Nivan had said. Rivanah realized there was no nameplate on the front door as she saw him switch on the lights. He asked Rivanah to follow him inside. She did along with Xeno.
It was a well-furnished flat. There was a little dust in the air, which told Rivanah it must have been closed for some time, but it was a cosy place nonetheless. Nivan went to a corner and pressed a button. Slowly the curtains which Rivanah had been mistaking for wallpaper drew themselves to one side bringing alive a breathtaking view of the Versova beach. Rivanah’s jaw fell open as she went close to the glass wall. She could see the evening horizon in the distance as the sun almost set in its lap. It was almost a dream flat for her but soon reality set in. She couldn’t afford such a place.
‘Give me eighteen thousand a month for this, and it’s all yours. No brokerage. No advance,’ she heard Nivan say. Rivanah immediately turned around to look at him.
‘Okay. How many tenants will you allow?’ she asked.
‘It’s all yours. No sharing business.’
A smile of disbelief escaped her. ‘You must be kidding?’ Rivanah said.
‘No, I’m not,’ Nivan said kneeling down to caress Xeno.
‘This flat’s rent, considering the locality, should be around eighty thousand a month. And you are asking me to pay eighteen with no other roommates? That has to be a joke.’
‘What you mentioned is the market rate. But the rent is decided by someone else.’
‘Someone else? Who?’
‘The landlady.’
‘Oh, I thought you owned the place.’
‘I own the place but someone else rules it,’ Nivan said with a faint smirk.
‘May I know who that landlady is?’
‘You’ll get to know soon. I hope you liked the place though.’
‘I love it. And I can’t thank you enough, sir.’
‘Call me Nivan. And we’ll make an agreement by noon tomorrow.’
Rivanah smiled and said, ‘Thanks, Nivan.’
‘Don’t mention it. You can have a look at the entire flat first.’
‘Sure,’ Rivanah said and went in. It was a fully furnished two-bedroom flat. Only a blind person can say no to this one, Rivanah thought, and paused at the bedroom entrance seeing something.
‘All good?’ Nivan startled Rivanah.
‘A sketch stand?’ Rivanah said, looking at the sketch stand in the bedroom.
‘It belongs to the one who stayed in this flat before you. Been some time. I didn’t want to throw it away, actually. After all, it’s art and I appreciate it.’
Rivanah walked up to the sketch stand. There were sheets on it. The first sketch was of a woman’s face.
‘I can get this removed if it’s too much of a bother,’ Nivan offered.
‘Let it be,’ Rivanah said as she touched the sheet. She neither knew nor remembered that it was her own sketch of Hiya Chowdhury’s face. ‘It’s lovely,’ Rivanah added.
21
Rivanah ordered from Subway that night. She was so tired because of the constant shuttling that she had no strength to cook. Only when the sub and diet Coke arrived did it strike her that she had not eaten a morsel in the last twenty-four hours. Post dinner, she called up her mother. Since her Kolkata trip, the frequency of her mother’s calls had increased as well. After the attack, she understood their concern. The police hadn’t been able to find a lead. Though she talked to her mother for almost half an hour, she didn’t say a word about what had happened between Danny and her. She could well imagine her father’s reaction once he knew: I told you so! And never again would she be able to convince him about her choice in the future—if she has a choice in the future. Lying down in bed, Rivanah’s eyes fell on the sketch stand next to her with the face of a girl. Rivanah had brought her own sketch stand when she had left Danny’s place, but had instructed the guard to discard it since she wouldn’t need it. She had no idea what it was doing at Danny’s house in the first place—she definitely couldn’t remember sketching anything. But Danny had said she was the one who had sketched those faces. And now, lying on the bed gaping at the sketch, she felt there was something familiar about it. But what was it? The Stranger’s last question to her before he disappeared popped up in her mind: Why did you forget about Hiya after meeting Mr Dutta? Why would her parents deny something which had happened for real? Or was the Stranger up to some mind games again? Rivanah immediately picked up her phone and called her mother. It was 10.30 p.m. She didn’t care that they might be asleep.
‘Mumma?’
‘Mini? Is everything all right?’ her mother asked, sounding anxious.
‘Yes, all is fine. Tell me, Mumma, did I ever sketch before?’ Rivanah asked.
There was silence.
‘Mumma?’
‘Mini?’ Her father came on the line.
‘Baba? Where’s Mumma? What happened?’
‘That’s what I want to know. What happened? Why are you asking about sketching at this odd hour?’ Her father sounded as anxious as her mother.
‘Everything is fine. I just wanted to know if I sketched before or not.’
‘Yes, you used to sketch. But you left that hobby long back.’
Long back? ‘Hmm. Okay. Goodnight, Baba.’
‘Are you sure everything is okay, Mini?’
‘Yes. Goodnight, Baba.’
‘Goodnight, Mini,’ her father said, still sounding concerned.
Rivanah kept staring at the sketch and then shut her eyes to sleep.
The next morning, before going to office, Nivan’s agent had come to take her signature on the rental agreement. Rivanah didn’t see Nivan leaving for office around the time she did, though she secretly wished he had. His presence—she had realized in the car with him the other day—made her disconnect with the mess her life was. The sight of him was a sweet escape. But one thing she had promised herself: even if she felt attracted to him, she wouldn’t fall for him. In fact, she wouldn’t fall for any man again. After two failed relationships, Rivanah didn’t want to take a chance. Not so soon. Not ever, if possible.
In the office, Rivanah was surprised to know that she and Nivan had become a couple overnight for most of her teammates.
‘Don’t lie! Rohit saw you guys together. Didn’t he give you a lift yesterday?’ asked one.
‘Yeah, but—’
‘How is he in bed?’ asked another inquisitive co-worker.
‘Shut up! I needed a place to stay so—’
‘OMG! You are staying with Nivan?’ said another colleague almost having a heart attack.
‘No! Someplace close to his.’ Rivanah intentionally l
ied to avoid any further questions.
‘Did you find out anything about him?’ Rivanah understood she wasn’t the only one crushing on Nivan. He was quite a hit with the office females. Twice while fetching hot cappuccino for herself, Rivanah came across Nivan, but his body language was so formal that she wondered if he was the same person who had given her a lift and lent out his flat at half the market rate.
During the day, whenever her phone buzzed with a message, Rivanah thought it would be Danny, but it never was. When she checked her WhatsApp during lunch, she saw Danny’s display picture wasn’t visible to her. He must have deleted her number. So easily? It scared her. Are relationships that brittle? Or are humans that unpredictable? Rivanah remembered how her cousin Meghna and Aadil broke up after almost a decade of being together. The worst part of such an experience is that it no longer lets you be in control of your own life, blinding you in the process.
She deleted Danny’s number. A supposed intimate connection between two human beings was finally over with one tap of a finger on a mechanical device.
In the evening, Rivanah went straight to her flat, feeling mentally exhausted. The moment she unlocked the door, a pleasant smell hit her. She followed it to the dining table where she saw a bowl covered with a plate. It was payesh. And this one smelt exactly the way her mother used to make it. Rivanah scooped out some with her index finger, and licked it, relishing the taste. But who kept it here?
Rivanah picked up the bowl and went to Nivan’s door and rang the doorbell. The servant opened the door.
‘Hi, I wanted to know if you kept this inside the flat,’ Rivanah said.
The female servant nodded and gestured her to come inside.
‘No, I’m fine. Just wanted to know if it was you. Did you prepare it?’
The servant suddenly grabbed her hand and tried to pull her inside the flat. It didn’t take much time to understand that she was dumb. She gestured Rivanah to sit down, closed the main door, and scampered inside. Xeno came running towards Rivanah, wagging its tail. The servant came into the drawing room pushing a wheelchair on which sat a pristine-looking girl. She was smiling at Rivanah. Is she the one who called Nivan the other day from the bedroom? Rivanah wondered.
Forget Me Not, Stranger Page 12